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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Health & Wellness Podcasts

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'l help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage. We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'l help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage. We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.

Location:

United States

Description:

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'l help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage. We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.

Language:

English


Episodes

After the Betrayal of Porn Addiction, Can We Ever Have “Healthy Sex”?

7/27/2021
Here's a heart-felt question from a PBSE listener— Since learning that my husband of 44 years has been addicted to porn our entire marriage, a floodgate of emotions continue to wash over me. We are both committed to this union and he is working very hard in recovery. My question involves how do I trust and ignite my own healthy sexual expressions after years of dysfunction and “taking care” of a “needy” husband? In this episode, Mark and Steve discuss HOW to "weld together" the broken,...

Duration:00:30:00

Do You STINK at Setting and Enforcing Healthy Boundaries?!

7/20/2021
A PBSE listener recently sent us this comment and request—You speak of the importance of establishing boundaries. While we understand that each couple is unique can you address more specifically or give examples of what healthy boundaries look like during recovery? Let's get real—based on how we were raised and what was "modeled" to us, nearly all of us have some issues with setting and enforcing boundaries. In fact, a lot of us STINK at setting healthy boundaries! (Mark and Steve REALLY...

Duration:00:29:48

Letting Go of Control & Manipulation to WORK Your Own Recovery!

7/13/2021
In this episode Mark and Steve openly address a PBSE listener's questions about what to do with an addict spouse in recovery who still tries to exert control and practice manipulation. - Why porn/sex addicts can tend to shift blame and accountability. - Addicts can have a strong affinity for relying on external factors for their emotional stability. - Why real recovery begins and ends with "ME." - We have NO control over our partner's perceptions—these are "their reality"—stop trying to...

Duration:00:23:14

Navigating Summertime and Sex Addiction!

7/6/2021
Summertime can be a HUGE trigger for porn addicts in recovery and for spouses healing from betrayal trauma! As individuals and as couples, HOW can you SUCCESSFULLY navigate the visual and emotional "minefield" of summer? Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark...

Duration:00:20:00

Let Go of "Emotional Wallowing" & Embrace "Vision & Meaning"

6/29/2021
When we rely on "sheer motivation" to break out of porn addiction, this will easily plunge us into a pit where we become stuck in "emotional wallowing."' Then to escape the wallowing, we move back into addiction outlets—and the "wallowing cycle" spins around and around. In this episode, Mark and Steve guide listeners in HOW to move out of emotional wallowing and into Vision and Meaning. Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and...

Duration:00:25:41

Father's Day—Addiction & Trauma Trigger or Healing Event?

6/22/2021
There are MANY "triggers" that can impact and even derail addiction recovery and healing from betrayal trauma. One trigger that can blindside us are significant, meaningful events like holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and more. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk about their personal struggles with "Father's Day" and how it has been a trigger for both of them. Their raw and real personal examples will help you begin to uncover the core emotions/cause of your own addiction and trauma. And...

Duration:00:27:10

Why is Mindfulness & Connecting with Myself SO Hard?!

6/15/2021
We constantly talk about how and why “mindfulness” and CONNECTING with your True, Authentic Self is SO critical to recovery and healthy living! Yet, when it comes to stepping back to be an “observer” and “watcher” of our thoughts, feelings and emotions—WHY can it be SO HARD?! It’s way easy to get pulled into GOING TO WAR and battling it out with our brains—seeing the brain (especially the ego-addict-Limbic System) as the ENEMY! There is a way to work WITH your brain and not against it—a way...

Duration:00:23:25

Erectile Dysfunction and Your "Arousal Template"

6/8/2021
A podcast listener asked about her husband's risky, bizarre, self-centered sexual behaviors; his Erectile Dysfunction; and how these are related to his porn/sex addiction. In this episode Mark and Steve talk raw and real about these issues. They relate this to their own experiences with addiction and the many clients they've worked with over the decades. They discuss: - How porn/sex addiction radically alters the "Arousal Template" resulting in a dramatic impact on healthy sexuality. -...

Duration:00:26:15

I’m Engaged to a Porn Addict—What Should I Do?

6/1/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a listener who is engaged to a porn addict. She submitted a message through PBSEpodast.com describing her situation: she and her fiance have been together for two years. He has regularly used pornography during that time and she has let him know she is NOT OK with it. He promised he was getting help to quit porn but she discovered he's been lying about that. She also discovered he's been untruthful about other aspects of his life outside of the...

Duration:00:22:33

Is Physical Touch the “Love Language” of Most Porn/Sex Addicts?

5/25/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve address and excellent question submitted by a PBSE listener— In the book written by Gary Chapman it talks about the 5 Love Languages. My husband says his love language is physical touch. Are most sex addicts love language physical touch? As a spouse how do I honor my needs and authentically respect myself? {there are days I don't want to make eye contact, much less touch him after the betrayal} How do I make sense of this? - If a spouse is a codependent,...

Duration:00:23:01

Moving from Addiction to Connection: Reconciliation with Family

5/18/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a question submitted by a PBSE listener: My husband has been in active recovery since earlier this year. Your podcast has been instrumental in his recovery. My almost adult children are aware of the porn addiction and witnessed and were victims of his controlling, abusive and angry attitude during his active addiction. Do you have any advice to help him reconnect in a healthy way? Thank you. You cannot move from addiction to reconciliation quickly...

Duration:00:22:37

From Surviving to Thriving in Your Marriage: A Vision for Addicts

5/10/2021
In this episode Mark and Steve use the analogy of a unique little bird known as the "Bower Bird." HOW can we guys who are in recovery from addiction do the "little" things each day that move us from merely surviving in marriage to thriving?! Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn...

Duration:00:18:48

When is it Time to “Shake Up” Your Recovery and Healing?

5/4/2021
Your recovery and healing are always at risk of stagnation, burnout, boredom, overwhelm, relapse and other potential "disrupters." In this episode Mark and Steve talk about how to regularly "shake up" your recovery and healing so they stay fresh, on-track and ever progressing toward greater peace, happiness, fulfillment and connection. Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and...

Duration:00:28:41

How Inadequate Self-Care Sabotages Your Recovery and Healing!

4/27/2021
Mark and Steve discuss why Self-Care is SO crucial to overcoming porn addiction, healing from betrayal trauma and mending your marriage. And why it is so often taken for granted or overlooked entirely. Very importantly, Mark and Steve talk openly about their own struggles with self-care and the barriers that often get in the way of this essential element in healing and recovery. Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve...

Duration:00:31:05

The Wall Between Betrayal Trauma and Healing/Connection

4/20/2021
In Episode 66, Mark and Steve explored the walls an addict spouse often throws up in defense against his betrayal-trauma-suffering spouse beginning to "speak her truth." In this episode, Mark and Steve talk about the totally legitimate thoughts, feelings and emotions triggered by Betrayal Trauma that can create a huge barrier to connection and healing. What are the symptoms of Betrayal Trauma? How can these create walls that hinder or completely block out healing and connection? What are...

Duration:00:28:41

The WALL Between Conflict and Connection

4/13/2021
A BIG part of beginning to heal a marriage marred by pornography addiction, is for the addict spouse to provide a SAFE space for the betrayed spouse to honestly and openly express her pain and speak her truth. But when she does, it's very common (for a host of reasons) for the addict spouse to immediately throw up a WALL of self-defense and resistance. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about the walls they both piled up when their wives tried to be totally authentic and...

Duration:00:28:41

How Can a Struggling Couple Come Out of "Relationship Limbo"?

4/2/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a recent email from a listener— “I’d like to know how is it that your wives were willing and able to stay in your marriages through all the porn and affairs? My son-in-law is an addict and my daughter can’t see how she can stay married to him. She’s willing to be friends for the sake of the kids but she doesn’t know how she can stay. He is not yet admitting he’s an addict. She’s never felt loved in their young 5-year marriage.” What is the answer...

Duration:00:28:46

Can I Ever Go Back to Porn?

3/30/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve openly address a common issue they faced in their own recoveries, and one they see often with their clients—"Can I ever go back to porn?" What this means to most men in recovery is—"Can I ever just live like a 'normal' guy?" Do I have to do this "recovery stuff" the rest of my life?! What about masturbation, provocative movies and entertainment, certain sexual practices? What are the boundaries and can these change after I have a period of sobriety? And VERY...

Duration:00:31:07

What it Takes to SUCCEED in Recovery and Healing!

3/23/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve give listeners a window into what they've learned from their own recoveries and what they've experienced over many years as therapists. What DOES it take to truly succeed in your recovery and healing efforts? Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services Here's a great article on the "Brain Science" behind porn and sex...

Duration:00:26:26

Defining "Slips" and "Relapses"

3/16/2021
When a couple is working together through addiction recovery and healing betrayal trauma, it can be VERY difficult to understand the differences between a "Relapse" and a "Slip." In this episode, Mark and Steve discuss WHY there should be separate definitions for a "Slip" and for a "Relapse"—why the distinction at all? How can a couple navigate the differences and use these definitions to aid in effective recovery, promote healing and increase connection? Find out more about Steve Moore...

Duration:00:31:07