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Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Health & Wellness Podcasts

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'l help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage. We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'l help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage. We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.

Location:

United States

Description:

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class mental health professionals who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'l help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage. We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.

Language:

English


Episodes

Has Your Addict Partner Truly "Forgotten" His Past Betrayals OR is He "Gaslighting" You?

10/19/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve take on a PBSE listener's question about her husband's "claim of not being able to remember the details of his previous disclosures to her. Several months after he finally came clean and told her "everything," he backtracked and denied ever disclosing those things. Here's her description of the situation— Since then, he has said he doesn’t remember having these conversations and confessing these things. After a few weeks of feeling crazy I searched my text...

Duration:00:19:52

How Do I Overcome the Shame of My Past "Toxic Sex/Me-Centered" Behaviors?

10/12/2021
In this episode Mark and Steve respond to a very heart-felt question by a PBSE listener— My wife and I recently listened to your episode on healthy sex vs toxic sex. I realize now that for our whole marriage, sex has been toxic and me-centered. I asked my wife if she identified with the part in the episode where you said some wives discover feeling abused in this process and she said yes. This crushed me. My question is: how do I process the shame and self-hate that comes with learning my...

Duration:00:27:28

Is My Partner Lying About His Porn Use? How Can I Know?

10/5/2021
How do you know if your partner is telling you the truth about his porn use and other sexual behaviors? A PBSE listener recently submitted this question and expressed her pain and confusion in a very raw and authentic way. In this episode, Mark and Steve provide some guidance— Is “pornified” (objectified) language and behavior an indication he is still acting out? Can someone stop their porn addiction without help? What are other signs of ongoing porn use/acting out? Learn more about...

Duration:00:22:49

How Can I Forgive a Man Who Has Spent Nearly Our Entire Marriage Lying?!

9/28/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a very heart-felt message and question from a PBSE listener: a spouse struggling to forgive her porn-addicted spouse— How can you work through feeling like you can't forgive your spouse? The deception, gaslighting, secrecy, disrespect and disregard for others feelings is causing contempt that grows by the day. How can I forgive a man that spent most of our marriage fantasies about sleeping with other women behind my back. He admits he liked the...

Duration:00:20:19

How Do I Know if My Spouse is an Addict or Not?

9/21/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve address a common question submitted by a PBSE listener— I have listened to many episodes of your podcast. They have all been very helpful. My question is: Do you consider every man who views porn an “addict” or “sex addict?” My husband confessed to viewing pornography (no other acting out) for the last two and a half years. He can describe the events that led him to cross that line in our marriage. He has told me on two different occasions that he was tempted...

Duration:00:23:58

Unhealthy Relationships Can Help Fuel Porn Addiction—How Can You Move from Co-Dependency to Recovery?

9/14/2021
Growing up, a PBSE listener suffered from an abusive relationship with his father, which was a BIG factor in the development and ongoing struggle with Porn Addiction. He submitted some questions to Mark and Steve— I've realized that improving my relationship with my Dad is key to my recovery. How do I approach him about this without letting out 20 years of anger and resentment? His approach to life is that anyone that can't solve their problems with willpower alone is just weak. What do I...

Duration:00:24:13

When Your Partner is a Porn Addict, What Does “Healthy Connection” Look Like?

9/7/2021
If your partner is a porn addict, is it even possible to have any level of "healthy connection"??? In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and open about what is possible and real when it comes to healthy connection when one spouse is recovering from porn addiction and the other is healing from betrayal trauma— Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples!...

Duration:00:21:22

Does Recovery & Healing require that we STOP Internet use, AVOID going out in Public and NEVER talk to the opposite sex?

8/31/2021
When it comes to daily life and being subjected to a "sexualized culture," what are the "healthy boundaries" in sex/porn addiction recovery? What can/should an addict-in-recovery STOP doing in "regular" life? What is too strict or too lax? When does an addict cross the line into rationalization, minimization and denial? How do we "collaborate" on this as a couple? When and how can we start to integrate ourselves back into regular, normal life—or can we ever do that! In this episode,...

Duration:00:22:25

Your Chosen Path of Sexual Experience—Healthy or Unhealthy? Connecting or Disconnecting?

8/24/2021
In working with people all over the world, we often get questions from couples regarding what IS and what is NOT healthy and connecting in their sexual relationship. In this episode, Mark and Steve get really DIRECT about WHY we bring certain expectations, practices, attitudes, etc., to the bedroom and HOW to begin opening up an authentic, vulnerable, healthy dialogue as a couple to take your Sexual Intimacy to a truly healthy and connected place. Learn more about Mark and Steve's new...

Duration:00:21:23

You are "Powerless" to Control What He’s Thinking During Sex—or Any Other Time!

8/17/2021
In this episode, Mark and Steve address a HUGE issue many partners struggle with. Here's how a PBSE listener expressed it— My question is with all the porn videos and images he has seen how does the wife know what he is thinking while having sex with the wife? By this I mean how do we know, even after getting help, which he is not in any recovery, that he is not still bringing some porn scene, scenarios or acts he's seen, into the bedroom? The raw answer is: "You don't know!" and you CAN'T...

Duration:00:26:26

Should I have Daily Sex with my Husband so He can Recover?

8/10/2021
We know—this title is ridiculous!!! It's intended to be totally SARCASTIC! But it's in response to a lengthy, raw, heart-felt, super authentic email we recently received from a PBSE listener. Her spouse is a sex/porn addict who is NOT in "real recovery," but insists that if she would give him daily sex, he could overcome his struggles. In this episode, Mark and Steve have a LOT to say about this!!! They get RAW and REAL about the TRUTH of this situation and HOW this good woman can proceed...

Duration:00:27:52

Stuck? Real Recovery & Healing REQUIRE a Trajectory!

8/3/2021
It's SO easy to get STUCK in a negative, hame-based mindset; trapped on an endless rollercoaster of dark emotions; feel like your relationship is going nowhere or just downward! In this episode, Mark and Steve get real about their own personal experiences with being STUCK and STAGNATING in recovery; stuck in negative thinking; in anger, bitterness and resentments; in hopelessness or apathy; and stuck in a relationship rut! Allowing yourself to stay stuck is really just a "slow emotional...

Duration:00:26:27

After the Betrayal of Porn Addiction, Can We Ever Have “Healthy Sex”?

7/27/2021
Here's a heart-felt question from a PBSE listener— Since learning that my husband of 44 years has been addicted to porn our entire marriage, a floodgate of emotions continue to wash over me. We are both committed to this union and he is working very hard in recovery. My question involves how do I trust and ignite my own healthy sexual expressions after years of dysfunction and “taking care” of a “needy” husband? In this episode, Mark and Steve discuss HOW to "weld together" the broken,...

Duration:00:30:00

Do You STINK at Setting and Enforcing Healthy Boundaries?!

7/20/2021
A PBSE listener recently sent us this comment and request—You speak of the importance of establishing boundaries. While we understand that each couple is unique can you address more specifically or give examples of what healthy boundaries look like during recovery? Let's get real—based on how we were raised and what was "modeled" to us, nearly all of us have some issues with setting and enforcing boundaries. In fact, a lot of us STINK at setting healthy boundaries! (Mark and Steve REALLY...

Duration:00:29:48

Letting Go of Control & Manipulation to WORK Your Own Recovery!

7/13/2021
In this episode Mark and Steve openly address a PBSE listener's questions about what to do with an addict spouse in recovery who still tries to exert control and practice manipulation. - Why porn/sex addicts can tend to shift blame and accountability. - Addicts can have a strong affinity for relying on external factors for their emotional stability. - Why real recovery begins and ends with "ME." - We have NO control over our partner's perceptions—these are "their reality"—stop trying to...

Duration:00:23:14

Navigating Summertime and Sex Addiction!

7/6/2021
Summertime can be a HUGE trigger for porn addicts in recovery and for spouses healing from betrayal trauma! As individuals and as couples, HOW can you SUCCESSFULLY navigate the visual and emotional "minefield" of summer? Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark...

Duration:00:20:00

Let Go of "Emotional Wallowing" & Embrace "Vision & Meaning"

6/29/2021
When we rely on "sheer motivation" to break out of porn addiction, this will easily plunge us into a pit where we become stuck in "emotional wallowing."' Then to escape the wallowing, we move back into addiction outlets—and the "wallowing cycle" spins around and around. In this episode, Mark and Steve guide listeners in HOW to move out of emotional wallowing and into Vision and Meaning. Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and...

Duration:00:25:41

Father's Day—Addiction & Trauma Trigger or Healing Event?

6/22/2021
There are MANY "triggers" that can impact and even derail addiction recovery and healing from betrayal trauma. One trigger that can blindside us are significant, meaningful events like holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and more. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk about their personal struggles with "Father's Day" and how it has been a trigger for both of them. Their raw and real personal examples will help you begin to uncover the core emotions/cause of your own addiction and trauma. And...

Duration:00:27:10

Why is Mindfulness & Connecting with Myself SO Hard?!

6/15/2021
We constantly talk about how and why “mindfulness” and CONNECTING with your True, Authentic Self is SO critical to recovery and healthy living! Yet, when it comes to stepping back to be an “observer” and “watcher” of our thoughts, feelings and emotions—WHY can it be SO HARD?! It’s way easy to get pulled into GOING TO WAR and battling it out with our brains—seeing the brain (especially the ego-addict-Limbic System) as the ENEMY! There is a way to work WITH your brain and not against it—a way...

Duration:00:23:25

Erectile Dysfunction and Your "Arousal Template"

6/8/2021
A podcast listener asked about her husband's risky, bizarre, self-centered sexual behaviors; his Erectile Dysfunction; and how these are related to his porn/sex addiction. In this episode Mark and Steve talk raw and real about these issues. They relate this to their own experiences with addiction and the many clients they've worked with over the decades. They discuss: - How porn/sex addiction radically alters the "Arousal Template" resulting in a dramatic impact on healthy sexuality. -...

Duration:00:26:15