Recovery Elevator

Today we have Ronnie. He is 41 years old from Kiowa, CO and took his last drink on June 1, 2025. This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Café RE – the social app for sober people. [03:17] Thoughts from Paul: From the cavemen to the ancient Greeks, to modern humans, there’s always an apocalypse on the horizon. The apocalypse outside of us, we can’t control and there has never not been one. The only apocalypse you can control is the one caused by alcohol which is happening inside of you. Paul reminds us that no matter how fearful the news programs and the politicians want you to be, we’ve never not had an external apocalypse looming and geological record will tell you the same. Disconnect from all of the news and connect to yourself, others, nature, a ripe mango, a snuggle with a dog because you know what? We’re okay. Get yourself some time away from alcohol and you’re going to be very much okay. [07:54] Paul introduces Ronnie: Ronnie is 41 years old, lives in Kiowa, CO with his wife and four children. Ronnie works as a home inspector. For fun, Ronnie enjoys spending time with his kids and spending time outside. His family has 40 acres and a variety of animals which his children show with 4-H. Ronnie began drinking when he was 17 after discovering that alcohol was a magical elixir that suppressed his inhibitions and insecurities. By the time Ronnie was in college, he was partying regularly. After a few semesters, he had failed out of school, moved back home and began working in construction. After some time, Ronnie moved to Colorado and began working for a faith-based non-profit organization in addition to being a home inspector on the side. Drinking was something they did not allow their staff to do. This enabled Ronnie to remain mostly sober during that time, only drinking when he was around friends back home. Ronnie and his wife married in 2011 and moved to Portland, Oregon. He grew accustomed to the culture of going out for cups of coffee, but when they returned to Colorado Ronnie saw that the culture there was going out for beers. This began alcohol creeping back into his life slowly. When COVID happened, his job with the non-profit ended and Ronnie was home inspecting full time. Ronnie says they lost two and a half streams of income, and it left him depressed and having trouble with night terrors. He started using alcohol to help him sleep. It turned into daily drinking which led Ronnie to start exploring whether or not he had an issue. In the process, he discovered the RE podcast. Around this time, Ronnie began to try moderation. He was using a sobriety tracker and said he reset it over 20 times before he was able to get a week. After he was able to stay sober for three weeks, he thought he had it under control but before long was back to drinking daily. On that night of what ended up being Ronnie’s last drink, he awoke to his heart racing and massive anxiety. He told his wife that he thought he had a problem which she said she knew, and instead of being judgmental, she asked what she could do to help. The next day Ronnie learned that his wife had contacted some friends that had dealt with addictions, and they were all ready to help. Within the first day, Ronnie threw out all of the alcohol in the home. This opened up the conversation with his kids about addictions and healthy ways of coping with emotions. Over the last 12 days, Ronnie has seen his sleep improved. He has realized that alcohol no longer has a place in his or his family’s life. Ronnie says that every time he tells someone about his addiction, a weight lifts. This motivates him to keep going. He is finding healthy ways to deal with stress and sleep. Exercise, meditation, audiobooks and listening to the RE podcast have been helpful to him on this journey. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up We can do this I love you...

Today we have Marcy. She’s 42 years old and lives in Seattle, WA. Marcy took her last drink on October 15, 2020. This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Exact Nature – 20% off your order with code RE20 Paul just finished the rough draft of his second book entitled Dolce Vita, The Good Life and expects it to be released this September. [00:00] Thoughts from Paul: In a recent article presented on Newsbreak entitled Alcohol is Killing More Americans Today than 20 Years Ago, it shares that mortality from liver disease has increased significantly across most demographic groups in the US from 1999 to 2022. Death from liver disease went from 6.7 to 12.5 deaths per 100,000 people. The annual increase was higher among women than men, and young people showed “concerning trends”. And of course, minority populations are hit hardest. American Indian and Alaska Native populations, faced the highest death rates. Those increased from about 25 to nearly 47 per 100,000 over the last 20 years. While this podcast is supposed to be uplifting and positive it also has to be real. The spirit alcohol is claiming more lives than ever. Remember last week’s episode titled The Quiet Revolution? You are part of the not so anonymous army that solves this... Your quitting drinking is the answer for everyone else who struggles with addiction. You're turning your gaze inward when people in charge are pointing their finger outward. You are the hero. [00:00] Paul introduces Marcy: Marcy is 42 years old and lives in Seattle, WA with her partner and their cat. She works at a production company as a creative producer and makes psychedelic music videos in her spare time. For fun, she enjoys the outdoors and says the Pacific Northwest is a beautiful place to be outside. Marcy says she was a very shy kid with a lot of anxiety. She had her first drink when she was 16 and by 18, she had a fake ID and spent a lot of time in bars and drinking almost daily. Her drinking never looked normal, Marcy says. Marcy had her first blackout at her bachelorette party in her mid-twenties. Those began to become normal for her which began to concern her. Marcy would tell everyone that she was quitting drinking but was never able to succeed. Alcohol began to put a strain on Marcy’s marriage. She realized she needed to do something to fix it. She began to attend AA and tried to work the steps but was struggling with being honest with herself and others about her problem and continued to drink. Marcy and her partner ended up divorcing, which sent her on a downward spiral since she no longer had anyone to be accountable to. After she was robbed one night, her parents talked her into going to inpatient rehab. She was supposed to stay for 30 days but only made it through 11 and decided to attend outpatient rehab instead. Marcy was able to fake her way through the outpatient program while she was still drinking. From 2016 to 2019, Marcy says she was on a merry-go-round from hell. She would try to change, fail and then beat herself up. She returned to AA, found a sponsor and had a service position that helped her build a new routine. She made it to 30 days sober and then relapsed which sent her back into a cycle that Marcy says was worse than ever. An extreme rock bottom found Marcy quitting again. After two months without drinking, a friend wanted Marcy to attend a meeting she was speaking at. This led Marcy to return to AA. She threw herself all-in and attended a meeting every day for the next year. These days life for Marcy is mellow instead of chaotic. She says she has the capacity to explore her creativity, goes to work every day and enjoys yoga regularly. Her tools for dealing with anxiety are breathing and knowing her boundaries and limits. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you’ve got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator...

Today we have Marisa. She is 50 years old from Fairfax, VA and she took her last drink on March 17, 2024. This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Exact Nature – 20% off your order with code RE20 Check out the upcoming Recovery Elevator Events: August 6 – 10 – Bozeman Retreat – we have about 12 spots left October 4 – 14 – Peru January 2026 – Restore And much more coming in 2026! [03:18] Intro summary: You may be listening right now and feeling tired. Not just sleepy tired, but soul tired. This kind of tiredness comes from trying to clean up your inner world while the outer world feels like it’s run by toddlers having the world’s most expensive tantrum. You're choosing consciousness while others choose chaos. You're picking love while others are picking fights. You're building your spiritual muscles while they're flexing bank accounts and crypto wallets. This is a contradiction that we are living in and it’s hard to be sober, raw, real and authentic in a dysfunctional world. However, the quiet revolution matters. The decision to face our demons instead of drowning them matters. The choice to feel everything instead of nothing matters. You're not just quitting drinking—you're quitting the lie that says we have to be drunk to survive this world. Keep going. The world needs your consciousness more than it needs another unconscious knee jerk reaction. Ditching the booze and cleaning up your inner world is how we solve this mess. [07:58] Paul introduces Marisa: Marisa is 50 years old and lives in Fairfax, VA. She is engaged and has a 12-year-old daughter. She works as a government contractor, enjoys live music, spending time outside, traveling, reading and binge-watching TV. Marisa says that for her, alcoholism was not a progressive disease. She had her first drink at 12 and the first time she got very drunk was 13 and she loved it. Alcohol assisted her in numbing the pain of abuse that she experienced in her childhood. Marisa has always known alcohol was a problem for her. Over the next 30 or so years, there were ebbs and flows to Marisa’s drinking. She always had an excuse/reason that she chose to drink like she did. Because she was high functioning, no one really knew about her issues. When she started seeing a therapist in 2022, she told them about her drinking and says a weight was lifted. Marisa met with a substance abuse counselor a few times after that, but didn’t have a good experience and wasn’t ready to try AA again. Marisa would try to moderate for the next few years but eventually knew something had to change. She told a friend of hers who she knew was in recovery that she had an intention of quitting for 30 days and began to attend AA. Since quitting, Marisa says that she has never looked back. She knew that drinking was no longer serving her. Remembering the six-week spiral that she went through before quitting helps remind her of who and where she doesn’t want to ever be again. Marisa knows she needs to stay tethered to her recovery through attending meetings, seeing her sponsor once a week, listening to podcasts and talking with other people in recovery often. Marisa has gone to therapy for quite a while but wasn’t committed to it when she was drinking. Now she is doing the work and beginning to heal from the traumas that drove her to seek relief with alcohol. Marisa’s parting piece of guidance: it was difficult to get sober, but it has been amazing and wonderful and easy to stay sober. Recovery Elevator All of this change starts from the inside out. I love you guys. RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Natalie. She is 55 years old from Palmdale, CA and took her last drink on June 4, 2023. This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Café RE – THE social app for sober people [02:28] Thoughts from Paul: This week’s intro is about acceptance. We may wish we were a little bit taller, we may wish we were a baller, and we may wish that alcohol wasn’t marketed as being good for us when it’s a class one carcinogen. We may also wish that we could drink normally, but many of us cannot. The thing about acceptance is that it is not about giving up, it’s about waking up to the fact that that’s just the way it is. When we finally stop wishing against reality and stop bleeding energy into a fantasy world of how things should be then we can start working with what actually is. Acceptance is not about admitting defeat or giving up, it is acknowledging the truth which doesn’t care about your feelings, but it will set you free. When you accept that alcohol isn’t your friend and that you can’t drink normally, that’s not rock bottom, that’s solid ground and something real to stand on. Life isn’t waiting for you to figure out how to drink responsibly. It’s waiting for you to square your shoulders and start accepting that you’re exactly where you are right now. [07:36] Paul introduces Natalie: Natalie is 55 years old and lives in Palmdale, CA. She says her most important job is being a mom to her autistic 15-year-old son. She enjoys spending time and going on adventures with him. Recently she has started volunteer work at a food bank and being of service in AA. Natalie didn’t enjoy alcohol when she first tried it and says that she was mostly a social drinker for many years. In her mid-30’s, she sought help with her sleep issues. She was prescribed Ambien and really liked the idea that she could take something and check out quickly. Over time it progressed to where she was drinking and taking the drug. Natalie began to rely on Ambien more and more as she travelled frequently for work. Life got very stressful for Natalie after her son turned two and they realized he didn’t have speech. That began a year of doctors, assessments and therapy and her reliance increased. Natalie would doctor shop to try and get more of the drug and resorted to her ordering it online and getting mass quantities in order to feed her habit. Natalie started attending NA and after she had about 60 days, she received the diagnosis that her son was autistic. When the COVID lockdown happened, she realized that she would have a hard time getting Ambien and she says that she changed from being an addict to an alcoholic. Natalie quickly became a daily drinker, often starting in the mornings. After her son was able to return to school, Natalie began a routine of dropping him off and then getting and drinking two bottles of wine before passing out until it was time to pick him up. Moderation was something Natalie struggled with. Her husband we getting increasingly upset with her and she would make attempts for a few days to cut back. Her husband, who is a normal drinker, ended up quitting to try and help her make the decision to quit as well. After a rock bottom trip in Las Vegas, Natalie decided it was time to quit. She found an AA meeting that she could attend right after dropping her son off at school. Natalie started attending daily and got a sponsor. She feels her relationships with family and friends has improved and even just day to day interactions with strangers are better. Natalie says “when you leave the rooms of AA, there are people that you will never meet and that you do not know that will be better off for you having been in a meeting that morning. That their day and their life is actually better because you took care of yourself in that way.” Recovery Elevator Rule 22. Let’s lighten up and not take ourselves too seriously. I love you guys. RE on...

Today we have Brooke. She is 47 years old from Pittsburgh, PA and took her last drink on September 27, 2024. This episode brought to you by: Better Help – 10% off of your first month #sponsored Sober Link – save 50% on a device [02:02] Thoughts from Paul: When we get asked why we are not drinking, Paul shares that we should be turning the question around and asking them why they ARE drinking. We can ask them questions like why they are spending $12 on something that can erode their insides and leave them with a hangover the next day. Or ask them why they are drinking a Class 1 carcinogen and is linked to seven different kinds of cancer? Or another direction to go with this “why aren’t you drinking” question is that you don’t have to explain yourself or justify anything to anyone. In fact, be the catalyst. Be the one that switches the question in your community. But don’t shame people. Don’t say it with an aggressive tone but say it with presence and say it with love. This isn’t about shaming anyone and it’s definitely not about you being right and others being wrong, but it’s about reclaiming the narrative. When you flip the question, you give others permission to question the script they’ve been handed. You become part of the change simply by standing in your truth. [07:19] Paul introduces Brooke: Brooke is 47 and has lived in Pittsburgh for 23 years. She has been married for 25 years, and they have two young adult children ages 22 and 20. She works in a test kitchen. For fun, she has pets, loves to garden, and has property to horseback ride on. Brooke was the youngest of three girls. She and her family moved around a lot because of her father’s work and when she was 13, they moved to California. When she was 14, Brooke was groomed into a relationship with her volleyball coach that lasted for two years. There was alcohol involved in a lot of their relationship, Brooke says. Brooke grew tired of the secret relationship and wanted to be a normal teenager with friends her age. Brooke got a DUI when she was 18 which derailed some plans she had for college. She didn’t think she had a drinking problem but learned not to drink and drive. Brooke got a job working for a ceramic studio and met her husband soon after. After they married, they moved to Pennsylvania where her husband was from and began a family. Having a newborn and not having any friends in a new place proved tough on Brooke. She and her husband were normal drinkers prior to this, but Brooke began drinking wine almost every day. There were a few occasions when she would drink too much and conversations would be had about it, but over time they would be forgotten, and it would happen again. Tired of the cycle she was in, Brooke decided to quit and go to AA meetings. She says she didn’t go enough to become part of the community and after three years just stopped going. Brooke remained sober for another year after that. One day she randomly decided to have a drink and concluded that she could be a normal drinker. It worked for a while, but the cycle eventually returned. After a night when Brooke had to be walked home by a neighbor, her husband confronted her. Brooke knew that words weren’t going to work and that she needed to take action to get this under control. She has learned to accept that she cannot drink and lives in that truth. In recovery Brooke has learned that she loves yoga. She has always been a fan of recovery podcasts and still listens to them frequently. Brooke hasn’t attended AA and says that she isn’t against it, but her life is full now. Brooke’s parting piece of guidance: if you’re here listening, just stay curious. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Kimmy. She is 34 years old from Montrose, Colorado and took her last drink on April 3, 2017. This episode brought to you by Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE – THE social app for sober people Here are some upcoming events at RE: Bozeman Retreat from August 6-20, 2025 Peru in October (registration closed) Dry January 2026 Ukelele Course in February 2026 Costa Rica in February 2026 AF Songwriting Course in March 2026 [04:12] Thoughts from Paul: A few weeks ago, Paul did an intro titled “How to Let Go” and then told us that had no idea how to let go. Since that episode, he has started looking at this from another angle. Paul shares that there was a time in his life that he would drink over things that he was unable to let go of. He says that progress has not been in letting things go, but it has been in his reactions to events and happenings in life. When drinking everything was a knee jerk reaction with no space between the stimulus and the response. Recovery has taught him how to pause, to wait, to gather his thoughts before responding to an event or trigger. One strategy with this is to not add a good or bad label to whatever happens in life. What seems like an unfortunate life event now may later turn out to be a great thing. Our reactions to life in general are the key to letting go. If we lean into the space between stimulus and response, and remain neutral to all of life’s unfolding, there will be less that needs to be let go of. [08:59] Paul introduces Kimmy: Kimmy grew up Big Fork, Montana and grew up riding horses and competing in barrel racing and rodeos. She says overall she had a good childhood. Kimmy says that she had her first drink when she was 17 and feels that drinking was a problem for her right from the start. Several events that happened in her teens drove Kimmy to use alcohol to cope with her feelings around them. She would take shots of her mom’s liquor and then drive 30 minutes to school already drunk. After leaving college, a friend of Kimmy’s said she was moving to Telluride for ski season. Kimmy went with her and while the friend left after the season was over, Kimmy stayed because she enjoyed it there. After having multiple rock bottom moments, Kimmy tried different techniques to quit drinking or moderate. They all backfired, she says. Eventually she turned to her faith in a moment of surrender. She didn’t quit drinking instantly, but over time grew to see that alcohol was no longer doing anything for her. Kimmy took her last drink at the end of the ski season in 2017. It was one beer, and she isn’t even sure she finished it. She was able to quit and after nine months told her father, who also drinks, and he was so proud of her she just wanted to keep going. Kimmy says working has been a big part of her recovery as she currently has four jobs. She stays close to her faith and although she doesn’t attend church, she reads her bible frequently. Kimmy has goals now and shares that she didn’t really have any after getting derailed by some events in her teenage years and turning to alcohol. It has taken time, but Kimmy is getting back to riding and competing and sees this current year of sobriety as a year of redemption as she looks forward to improving in these endeavors. Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Santino. He is 37 years old from Taunton, MA and took his last drink on May 24, 2022. This episode brought to you by Better Help – 10% off of your first month Exact Nature use code RE20 to save 20% off your order Recovery Elevator has merch! We have hoodies, patches, shirts, tank tops and bracelets. Help us keep this project going and shred the shame! Last call for registration to our sober travel trip to Peru. Registration closes tomorrow June 3. A study on the state of restaurants revealed that 40% of restaurants in 2025 plan to dedicate more space on their menus for alcohol-free drink offerings. And Door Dash reported an 82% jump in non-alcoholic beer orders in 2025 alone. Things are changing and they are changing fast! [03:29] Thoughts from Paul: On episode 527, Paul talked about how Gallitin County, Montana is the drunkest place in America. Ironically, this is where much of this podcast is recorded, and this is where Paul got sober. We are reminded that quitting drinking can happen wherever, whenever, regardless of how drunk we think our cities/counties/states are. Recently Paul read in a newsletter about a local event that said, “come join us for a night of alcohol-free country line dancing, swing dancing and two step”. Paul reached out to the organization putting it on and they thanked him for his support and said that they believe that country, swing and line dancing shouldn’t be exclusive to bars. We at Recovery Elevator couldn’t agree more. Rule 22 for the win! [08:18] Paul introduces Santino: This is Santino’s fourth appearance on the podcast. He first appeared on episode 397, and then returned for episodes 449 and 491. Santino is 37 years old, has been married for 10 years and they have two children aged six and almost one. He is originally from the Midwest but currently lives in Massachusetts. Santino is currently working on writing a memoir regarding his childhood. Drinking got out of control for Santino in his late twenties when he realized he was becoming a daily drinker. Trying to moderate didn’t work as the line in the sand got further and further away for him and he was drinking in isolation. Santino says before he could reconcile with the fact that he didn’t know how to stop, he had to first define what an alcoholic was. Santino had dabbled in AA in the past while in active addiction as well as during a court order after a DUI. He never identified with it because he wasn’t ready to quit. After reconciling that he had a problem, he started going to AA regularly and participated in the meetings. Santino really resonated with the idea of a higher power. The first six months into his recovery Santino says he struggled with shame. Coming to terms with his past is something that he knows he will be living with indefinitely. Santino works in the addiction field and understands that relapses can be part of many people’s recovery. And while he feels that relapse isn’t a bad thing but is greatly stigmatized. Santino says the most profound healing that took place when he stopped drinking was his perception of himself. He stopped putting so much stock into how other people viewed him. To put his years of sobriety in terms of themes, Santino shares that the first year was “darkness” the second year was “climbing” and the third year so far has been “practice”. Since Santino’s last interview he has welcomed his second son, continued to work on his relationships, still has the same job with the homeless and people with addictions, and working on being the best dad he can be to his two sons. Santino’s parting piece of guidance: you have to treat sobriety like you would treat anything else delicate in your life. It requires carefulness, it requires mindfulness, but it also requires full vulnerability. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You have got to take the stairs back up. You can do this. RE on Instagram Recovery Elevator...

Today we have Jenny. She is 53 yeas old from Belgrade, MT and took her last drink on August 25, 2015. This episode brought to you by Better Help – 10% off of your first month Exact Nature use code RE20 to save 20% off your order The message that alcohol is good for you is outdated. Paul shares an article from GQ that was released shortly after the World Health Organization declared that no amount of alcohol is safe for you. WELCOME to all our new listeners to the RE podcast! [03:56] Thoughts from Paul: In the interviews on this podcast, you’ve heard the word nature probably hundreds of times as a powerful tool to help overcome an addiction. Today Paul shares with us a specific free tool that can enhance your experience in nature: the Merlin bird app. There is science behind how birding can help you heal. Listening to birds reduces cortisol, slows your heart rate and triggers the parasympathetic nervous system which calms us. The opposite of addiction is connection, and Paul shares that he feels a connection to some of his local birds. He encourages us to give birds a chance as they have the capacity to take our connection to nature to the next level. [08:03] Paul introduces Jenny: Jenny was originally a guest on episode 86. Jenny lives in Belgrade, MT and says teaching fitness classes is her passion. She enjoys music, her chickens, playing golf and pickleball, and loves concerts and comedy as well. Jenny had her first drink when she was just nine years old. Her parents drank socially and any time there was a party at their house, she and her brother or friends would sneak alcohol. In high school, she and her friends didn’t participate in activities, so they just drank and dabbled with marijuana and hallucinogens. Jenny moved from Helena to Bozeman to attend college and it was then when the drinking and drug use ramped up. While working in a restaurant, Jenny says drinking after work was common, and she was later introduced to harder drugs which she used for several years. Jenny quit the harder drugs but drinking remained. It ebbed and flowed after she got married and had kids. Her drinking escalated when her husband became a firefighter and would work very long shifts. This time was stressful for Jenny with multiple young children and battling postpartum anxiety. Over time Jenny would start drinking earlier in the day but felt she was very high functioning therefore didn’t see her drinking as a problem. Jenny began to realize that her drinking was becoming an issue, but no one said anything to her, so she decided to quit on her own without telling anyone. She didn’t attend AA and just used exercise and podcasts to help her quit. It took a bit for others to notice, but she was confident in her decision in spite of them insisting that she didn’t have a problem. In 2016, Jenny learned she had stage 2 breast cancer. She says that it was aggressively treated and once in remission, she didn’t know what to do with herself. She started running half marathons and decided to use her degree in exercise and wellness and started teaching exercise classes which she loves. Recently, Jenny and her husband hit a rough patch, and they have been attending counseling. Their counselor told Jenny they thought she might be a dry drunk and suggested she start the AA program. Jenny says she needed to hear that and has recently began going to AA and has gotten a sponsor who she is about to tackle step work with. Jenny also has learned that she suffers from several different disorders that have given her a lot of “a-ha” moments about who she is. Jenny shares her journey with the world now. She believes being our authentic selves is most important. Jenny has learned that she needs to protect her mental health and her sobriety above all. Jenny’s parting piece of guidance: listen to that inner voice. Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up. I love...

Today we have Kayleen. She is 27 years old, lives in Baltimore, MD and she took her last drink on April 6, 2025. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE – the social app for sober people There are a few spots left for Peru in October 2025. On this 10-night, 11-day trip of a lifetime, we will be hiking the Inca Trail and participating in two service projects. Registration closes in about three weeks. [02:35] Thoughts from Paul: There is so much speak in the recovery world about letting go. In recovery meetings, many of the topics are centered around letting go. Paul shares that he has spent years thinking he needed to figure out HOW to let go. Like there was a secret technique that was missing. In fact, all you can do is realize you’re holding on and this awareness is the first real step towards letting the sunshine in. Once you realize you are holding on, or bring awareness to something weighing you town, it immediately begins to shift on its own, and you don’t have to let it go. Another thought is that it’s not even about letting GO, it’s more about letting IN. If something is nagging you, don’t let it go, let it in. It will eventually leave on it’s own, when the time is right, when it’s resolved. Paul encourages us to have the strength to see where you’re holding on and then invite it in a little more. [09:23] Paul introduces Kayleen: Kayleen is 27, lives in Baltimore, and works as a server in a fine dining restaurant. She enjoys walking, being in nature, painting and going to Café RE meetings. Kayleen says she never drank normally. She recalls being in ninth grade and taking swigs of liquor from her mom’s cabinet before getting on the school bus in the morning. Looking back, she thinks that she was always looking to escape her feelings. In college, Kayleen didn’t go to parties and drink with others. She preferred to drink at home and didn’t want anyone to know how much or how often she was drinking. She would frequently drink before going to class and eventually was suspended from the university. Kayleen was sent to detox three times in college for her drinking and self-harm. She wasn’t ready to quit drinking and would start back as soon as she got out. When she was 21, she was arrested twice for DUIs, and she wasn’t willing to stop drinking. A year later Kayleen was married and their relationship revolved around alcohol where they drank together daily. Over the next three years Kayleen gained over 100 pounds, and her mobility was suffering. A doctor told her that due to her poor health, she might not see age 30. For Kayleen, the idea of quitting drinking didn’t feel like a possibility. In April of 2023, Kayleen discovered the RE podcast. Within a month of listening frequently, Kayleen decided to quit drinking on May 25 – just for that one day. She woke up feeling so proud of herself she kept going. A few months later she joined Café RE and found community. Kayleen began walking and ended up losing 60 pounds in the first year of sobriety. Her wife had quit drinking too, but that wasn’t enough to save the marriage. Kayleen ended up divorcing her wife and moved from Indiana to Baltimore to stay with her accountability partner that she met through Café RE. In April of this year, Kayleen’s sister got married and it was at the wedding that she relapsed. She said within a day she was drinking just like she was before quitting and quickly turned to her community for help. Kayleen says she decided to quickly shred the shame and make sure she didn’t get stuck in a “woe is me” place. The community lifted her up and helped her realize that she didn’t lose her sobriety time and Kayleen shares that she learned a lot from the experience. Kayleen’s parting piece of guidance: Just keep trying. Never, never, never give up on yourself. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this. RE on...

Today we have Ben. He is 45 years old from Liverpool, UK and had his last drink on September 26th, 2021. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link - $50 off of device using this link [02:01] Thoughts from Paul: According to Stanford neuroscientist Andrew Huberman, all health, longevity, and your daily moods, along with your overall state of being, is tied to the quality of your sleep. When you drink alcohol, the quality of your sleep drastically diminishes, leaving you in a state of disrepair the following day. Paul shares many examples of how poor sleep affects our bodily functions and how drinking even small amounts of alcohol adds fuel to that fire. When we remove alcohol and we begin entering deep sleep cycles again, all of these negative consequences of poor sleep start to disappear. It may not happen in one night but within time, trust the body and this function will return to normal. [09:22] Paul introduces Ben: Ben was a previous guest on Episode 364. Ben started drinking when he was 14. It was tied into music and his social life. Alcohol and music helped him to escape the strife that he was having at school with bullies and being different than everyone else. Drinking was a huge part of his rock and roll lifestyle. Drinking with bandmates while writing music, going out after practice and drinking after performances were all part of the landscape for Ben in his early 20s. This continued and progressed over the next decade. Towards the end of his 30s, Ben says things started to get really dark for him. He found himself just wanting to drink on the tour bus and be left alone. The days of wanting to drink to socialize and be connected were gone for him. When he realized his drinking was becoming an issue, Ben tried to stop for periods of time. Later on, to create accountability Ben would make pacts with his brother where if he drank on one of his 30-day breaks, his brother could sell Ben’s guitar. The idea of stopping completely was unthinkable to Ben at the time. After a situation where Ben almost lost all of his musical equipment at the end of a tour, he started to look into AA. It was recommended to him by someone he knew who had gotten sober. He was a bit dubious of it because he thought AA was only for people that had a problem. When Ben first spoke at the meeting he thought he might end up making light of his story but found himself crying instead and made the statement that he was scared that if he never drank again, that there would be nothing for him to look forward to for the rest of his life. Throughout 2020 and 2021, Ben would find himself having two day drinking binges nearly every week. He had just gotten an apartment without housemates or family for the first time and had no one he had to be accountable to. The fact that his job wasn’t 9-5 gave him a lot of free time. The moderation techniques began again because he wasn’t ready to believe he had to quit entirely. After a few rock bottom incidents, Ben finally made the decision to stop. In the first few months he used a variety of tools including harm reduction. He allowed himself to play video games again and eat food that he had always denied himself while drinking. When he reached out to be on the podcast the first time, he utilized that as motivation to stay sober at least until the interview a few months later. Year one of sobriety found Ben still having cravings and just getting used to life being sober but says years two and three found him celebrating personal and professional successes. He says life can still be complicated at times but has learned to use obstacles as opportunities. Meditation has been a powerful tool for Ben in his recovery in addition to journalling, limiting his phone usage, reading and exercise. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up. I love you guys. RE on Instagram Café RE RE...

Today we have Christopher. He is 27 years old from Melbourne, Australia and he took his last drink on July 13, 2019. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month On October 4-15th, we are going to Peru! There are still three spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. Included in this journey are hiking the Inca Trail and a service project with Peruvian Hearts. [02:38] Thoughts from Paul: Today Paul presents the third of a three-part series where he covers the healing one may expect in the first year away from alcohol. This week he covers the spiritual (not necessarily religious) component of healing and what can generally be expected over the course of the first year away from alcohol. Spiritual growth isn’t necessarily linear and likely won’t start in the first week. There may have been a moment before your last drink when time seemed to stop, and you were pulled into the present moment where you could see where things were headed if you didn’t quit drinking. For some this growth may involve religious exploration and for others it may just be feeling the pull to be in nature or seeing life synchronicities and being able to decipher signals of intuition in your body. Creativity may return and books like Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way can help unblock creative channels. Paul shares many different ways spiritual healing can show up for people on the journey to being alcohol-free. [09:28] Paul introduces Christopher: Chris is 27 and lives in Melbourne, Australia. He is about to start being a psychologist in a few weeks where he looks forward to being of service, but currently is working in the restaurant area of a pub. For fun he enjoys the outdoors, running, hiking and is a fan of philosophy. Chris’ drinking began like many others when he was in his teens. He says he instantly felt free, and his problems slipped away. He drank when the opportunities arose, and it was mainly binge drinking on the weekends. Chris said he cared a lot of what others thought of him or if they found him interesting, so he began to believe that he had to drink in order to please them. This led to an escalation in his drinking and not long after he began to question his it but didn’t feel like it was an addiction. He kept himself busy to avoid dealing with those thoughts. When Chris was 19 or 20, he was going into another semester at school and was exhausted. He decided to take this time to quit alcohol and drugs. He found himself thinking about alcohol a lot during this time and began to explore what this meant to him. Chris didn’t want to share with anyone what he was doing so kept it to himself. After the three-month break, Chris went back to drinking and it wasn’t the same. He realized that alcohol had been ruined for him. He was drinking just because he was terrified of the alternative but eventually decided to quit and this time shared his intention with others. In spite of having multiple years away from alcohol, Chris didn’t feel completely sober. He recently began to prioritize his sobriety and utilize more resources in his recovery. He was listening to the RE podcast but also became more active in Café RE and started going to AA meetings and getting a sponsor. Realizing that he couldn’t do it alone was a big revelation for Chris. He says that prioritizing his sobriety is the most important component to having control over the rest of his life. Christopher’s parting piece of guidance: “do what’s right for you. Your truth is your truth and there is going to be a lot of outside noise, but you probably know what is going on deep down better than you realize.” Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we’ll all go home. I love you guys. RE on Instagram Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Adam. He is 34 years old from Denver, CO and took his last drink on May 19, 2022. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE – the social app for sober people [02:41] Thoughts from Paul: Today Paul presents the second of a three-part series where he covers the healing one may expect in the first year away from alcohol. This week he covers the mental component of healing and what can generally be expected over the course of the first year away from alcohol. In the beginning, don’t expect much but the brain fog will begin to lift by the end of the first week. Emotions will start to show up and you should embrace them. Seeing mood swings is completely normal but they will begin to improve over the next few months Over the first year there are a lot of improvements to our awareness, our emotional regulation and our dopamine system. Paul shares many more examples, but this is a short version of a longer list, and the mental healing goes on for years. Perhaps the biggest shift mentally is how you now feel about yourself now that you’ve made such a positive change by ditching the booze. [11:45] Paul introduces Adam: Adam was born and raised in Denver, CO. He and his fiancé are getting married in August this year. Adams works in the government affairs lobbying space in Colorado. For fun he loves skiing, hiking, reading and recovery work. After his first drink at age 14, Adam knew he wanted to do more of it. He says he was a fearful kid and as he grew older his fears became more tangible, and he never felt prepared to deal with them. A lack of confidence and feelings of not adapting like others found him seeking comfort in alcohol and other drugs. In the transition between high school and college, Adam shares that his substance use increased because it was more accessible. Stressed out while studying abroad in Rome found him developing a nightly drinking habit to cope. Adam was in a cycle of binge drinking and drinking nightly after graduation and starting his career. He kept defending his drinking as he is just doing it for now and eventually, he will stop. Adam was keeping a bottle of vodka in his car and hiding how much he was drinking from his partner. In 2021 after a weekend filled with drinking, Adam’s wife came home from errands to find him unresponsive. He ended up in the hospital with a BAC over .4. After a mini-intervention by his family, he said he just wouldn’t drink but wasn’t interested in asking for help. He was able to white-knuckle for 150 days, got divorced and then got a new job and apartment. He decided that it was long enough to quit drinking and went out with friends. After several months of drinking again and then getting into trouble at work, Adam began to realize he wasn’t having fun anymore. Some friends that were in a 12-step program invited him to join them and he decided to say yes and hasn’t left yet. Adam identifies with the word “alcoholic” and feels like it helps others view the word differently by seeing normal people using the word. Once starting the program, he dove into the work in addition to reading books and relating to other peoples stories. Realizing he needed help and that he couldn’t control his drinking was a weight lifted for Adam. Adam is still working with a sponsor to continue to learn more about himself. Adam tries to find ways to integrate recovery into his day and be more present with his loved ones. Adam shares he is no longer overwhelmed with fears since he has more tools to help him now. Adam’s parting piece of guidance: keep trying, don’t give up on yourself and keep coming back. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you’ve got to take the stairs back up. WE can do this. I love you guys. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Maggie. She is 42 years old, from Switzerland, and she took her last drink on February 24, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE – the social app for sober people Registration for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman is now open. From August 6 through 10, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more. In October of this year, we are going to Peru! There are still spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. [02:43] Thoughts from Paul: A question Paul hears and sees frequently is what to expect when we put the bottle down. He shares that the destruction of alcohol happens in three steps. First the spiritual component, then mental and finally physical. Healing tends to happen in the reverse order. There will be overlap and the transition is not quite linear, nor does the healing ever stop. Paul expands on what to expect when healing begins and how it can look for our bodies and minds in the first week, month, six months to a year. [12:06] Paul introduces Maggie: Maggie is from Switzerland but lives in Hong Kong with her husband Chris and their four dogs. They enjoy spending time on the beach, stand up paddling and triathlons. Professionally, Maggie was the head of IT in investment banking but has recently changed careers and now is an options equity trader. Maggie says she had her first drink when she was 13 and instantly felt relief from her anxiety. During her teen years, she says she and her friends spent a lot of time going out to bars and she discovered clubbing and cocaine when she was 18. Maggie did well in school and started working with hedge funds after graduating. She says the workdays ended at 4pm and everyone would go out to have drinks afterwards. Her drinking wasn’t concerning to her at this point in time. Maggie moved to Hong Kong when she was 24 and this is when she began to realize that she didn’t have an off switch when it came to alcohol. Everyone else would be ready to go home and Maggie says she was just getting started. From the age of 20 to around 30, Maggie says things got progressively worse. While everything looked successful and stable on the outside, inside she was falling apart. Maggie would compare herself with people that were worse off than her as a way to justify her drinking. Moderation entered the picture, and she would sign up for a lot of physical activities as a way to force herself to be sober. Maggie moved to Singapore before COVID but then lost her job and was there for a year without her husband. That is when she went from binge drinking to daily drinking. Upon her return to Hong Kong, her husband told her she needed to go to AA. After four years of stops and starts while trying to make AA work, Maggie knew she needed to try something different. Addicted to multiple substances, Maggie checked herself into rehab but relapsed as soon as she left. After her return to Hong Kong, Maggie tried another location where they used EMDR therapy which helped her find the root causes of her addiction issues. Maggie was given Antabuse after leaving rehab and that has helped alcohol become a non-negotiable for her. In sobriety she learned that she couldn’t return to her old job. She has made a career change that allows her to work less hours and find a new hobby creating and selling her art. Maggie feels peaceful now. Her goals are to continue to do sports and be a better athlete, continue to travel and maintain her current peaceful lifestyle. Maggie’s parting piece of guidance: hang in there and you will eventually get there. Never give up and maybe also explore the root cause of what is causing the drinking in the first place. Recovery Elevator This isn’t a no to alcohol but a yes to a better life. I love you guys. RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery...

Today we have Kaylee. She’s 33 years old from Camp Hill, PA and took her last drink on December 24, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link – learn more and save 50% off of a device Registration for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman is now open. From August 6 through 10, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more. [03:38] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares a comment that he heard recently in a Café RE chat. Stephanie said she eventually called the fight with alcohol. It is another way to frame the moment where we surrender to what is when it comes to our drinking. We know moderation isn’t working, anxiety is getting worse and the shame and torture from alcohol is reaching unprecedented levels. It becomes time to throw in the towel. He also shares a line from an upcoming interviewee who stated, “sobriety has given me the keys to the car of my dreams, I just hate the color”. So, the universe will always align with our hopes, our dreams, and desires, but we may want the package to look different. It is all about accepting the journey that life places in front of you. [07:08] Paul introduces Kaylee: Kaylee is 33 and lives in Camp Hill, PA. She has two daughters aged 15 and six. She is still trying to figure out what she likes to do for fun, but enjoys movies, concerts and spending time with her daughters. Kaylee says she was a sensitive kid. She struggled with depression and self-harm when she was very young and was always searching for a remedy her feelings. Kaylee drank experimentally by sporadically sneaking alcohol out of her mom’s cabinet. When she was 15, she was assaulted and learned early on that using alcohol could help numb her pain. Kaylee says that any time her emotions were strong, she knew she could use alcohol to not think about the negative emotions and things that happened to her. Her usage became a regular thing on the weekends with friends while she was a teenager. Kaylee had her first daughter when she was 17 and thought maybe she was done with the party life. She didn’t drink while pregnant but not long after her daughter was born, she was right back to drinking. Moving to her first apartment at age 21 also contributed to an increase in her drinking and now she felt free to drink however she wanted to, including by herself. When Kaylee went right back to drinking after her second daughter, she knew she needed to try to cut back and moderate. She was taking online quizzes asking, “am I an alcoholic?” and considered AA meetings only to determine she was fine and could cut back on her own. After a few years trying moderation, Kaylee found herself in a dark place with suicidal thoughts. She decided to seek therapy and was open with someone about her drinking for the first time. She was able to get sober for about six months. In January 2024 after a breakup, Kaylee found herself drinking heavily again. After calling a suicide hotline looking for help, she ended up going to detox for a week. After detox she continued an outpatient program but again thought she could moderate. As Christmas approached, Kaylee was thinking that she could not continue drinking into another year. She began to talk to a good friend of hers who was extremely supportive. The first few weeks were tough, but she started to get better physically. Within the first month she says her mind started coming back and she started feeling more like herself. Kaylee reconnected to her faith and became more open about her struggles which she says helps a lot. Kaylee says the tools she uses the most in her recovery are journaling, talking to someone when she is having cravings or triggers, praying and meditation, and staying open with those close to her. Recovery Elevator Rule 22 – lighten up, let’s not take ourselves too seriously. I love you guys. Café RE RE on Instagram RE...

Today we have Jenny. She is 38 years old from Hudson, WI and she took her last drink on February 16, 2020. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Recovery Elevator has a nonprofit called Café RE which is our alcohol-free community. For all of our happenings and what we offer, click on Recovery Elevator Events. [02:35] Thoughts from Paul: It doesn’t really matter what word or label we attach to our relationship with alcohol. It doesn’t matter what we call it; we still need to do something about it. Paul says that his own pursuits of solving the “why” behind his drinking and how his addiction took hold has been a revealing journey of self-discovery even he won’t be able to pin down exactly why he crashed and burned so hard. When we relentlessly scour the past for reasons why we drink, we take our energies away from the only moment where true healing and peace reside, which is this very moment right now. Addiction does everything it can to pull us from the present moment. Ruminating on what happened, what you have tends to be fruitless. Befriend and make peace the part of you that seeks oblivion and self-destruction. An addiction path may be what our souls choose in hopes of teaching us what really matters in life. [09:03] Paul introduces Jenny: Jenny is a previous guest and was featured in Episode 417 back in 2023 after celebrating three years alcohol-free. Jenny is married and they have a seven-year-old son. She enjoys exercise, adventure and being outside. She does professional development for the construction industry. Jenny drinking when she was 11 years old with the goal of being a rebel. She says she had a goal of being a tough, naughty girl and says it let her down the road to 22 years of binging and going on benders with alcohol and drugs. In her late twenties, Jenny had a miscarriage and says that it was at that point that she knew she had a problem, and she didn’t think she’d be able to stop. She and her husband had their son in 2017 and decided a life change was needed so they moved back home after living out west for a while. She was 31 years old, unemployed, had a newborn son and was deeply in debt. The move to her in-law’s basement and being back in her hometown opening old wounds drove Jenny to use alcohol more and more to escape. Rock bottom came for Jenny after Super Bowl Sunday 202. She got very sick while driving and called out of work. For the next few days, she was hungover and thinking about ways to end things. A spiritual awakening and vision of an uncle that had passed away before she was born, led Jenny to get up and decide enough was enough. Jenny says the first week was hard like ripping a bandage off and bleed profusely. All aspects of her life needed to be explored. She wanted to live a life of integrity and knew she needed to do the right things for herself. She feels like every day is a victory for all of us on the journey. After a year without alcohol, her husband encouraged her to find connection and she tried AA. That group helped her define her higher power and she loves AA and the 12 steps. She finds that friendships in recovery are so much deeper. In the last few years since she was on the podcast, Jenny says not much has changed but life is more stable now. When she quit drinking, she was able to address other issues that she wasn’t aware she had. She is capable of just being and seeking peace in her life. Jenny knows that relapse is a non-negotiable for her. She says she hasn’t come this far to only come this far. Being able to tell the whole story about things that happen is important to her. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. Café RE RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Laura. She is 40 years old from Reno, NV and she had her last drink on August 1, 2017. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Tomorrow April 1, registration opens for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman. From August 6 through 10, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more. [02:58] Thoughts from Paul: On this life journey, what we think is fun or important to us is constantly changing. You have identified that serenity, happiness and peace have become much more important to you than the excitement of drinking. After all, drinking lifts us up for a short while but always lets us down in the end. Peace is knowing we are living our healthiest life and knowing that whatever happens, we’re going to be just fine because we’re not making life harder than it needs to be by drinking. We are aiming to place our bodies and minds in a state where they are properly nourished so then we can be present to fully enjoy and be thankful when the emotion of happiness arrives. We are choosing peace over the brevity of a buzz. We are choosing life. [05:51] Paul introduces Laura: Laura is married, and lives in Reno, Nevada. She is currently transitioning out of working in nonprofit communications to going full time with her own business. She enjoys all things outdoors, lifting weights, and making funny Tik-Toks. The minute Laura started drinking she felt like it was the elixir to confidence and connection. Throughout college and into her 20s, she didn’t think much about her drinking because she was drinking like everyone else around her. Leaving college, Laura didn’t really know what she wanted to do with her life. Looking back now, she recognizes how much drinking disconnects you from yourself. Laura moved to Lake Tahoe and became a snowboard bum. This is where her drinking progressed. Little red flags started to pop up, but she would disregard them and treat her drinking like it was an intentional choice. In her late twenties, Laura got a DUI. This drove her to recognize that she needed to quit drinking and was able to for a few months. She thought after that, she had it under control only to end up right back where she was soon after. Laura began to try and moderate and take breaks. When she realized it was hard to quit for two weeks, she knew she had a problem. After a blackout, Laura decided it was time to give sobriety a try. Quitting drinking felt scary, but it felt scarier to continue down the path she was on. She didn’t know anyone that was sober but once she listened to people’s stories on the RE podcast, she had hope. After 7 months of working on her recovery by herself, she relapsed at a memorial for a friend. Recognizing that she was on the right path in sobriety, she went right back to it. She started going to AA and found a sponsor. Laura admits it was a lot of work, but she was ready for it. She shares that she had a lot of epiphanies during the first six to nine months. Laura picked up a lot of healthy practices in recovery which helped her rediscover herself and build confidence. She says no tequila shot could ever compare to the feeling of being able to trust yourself, respect yourself and have authentic connections with other people. In her new business, Laura is a backpacking guide. She organizes adventure retreats for sober women. Your Sober Pal Laura’s favorite resources: Recovery Elevator podcast, 12 Step Program and online recovery communities. Laura’s parting piece of guidance: it might e a lot of work up front, but it’s going to take you places you couldn’t even imaging and you’re going to amaze yourself along the way. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You have got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. Café RE RE on Instagram RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Niko. He is 43 years old from San Juan, Puerto Rico and took his last drink on September 2, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE Next week registration opens for our flagship retreat in Bozeman which is always a lot of fun. In addition to our lake hangout, breathwork and recovery workshops, we’re also playing laser tag. We also have a few spots left for our alcohol-free trip this October to Peru which includes travel to Cusco, the Sacred Valley and of course, Machu Picchu. If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. With 24/7 access to a like-minded community committed to living alcohol-free, you’ll never feel alone on this journey. [03:25] Thoughts from Paul: Jackass alumni Stevo-O once said he didn’t experience alcoholism until he quit drinking. In 1958 alcoholism was first classified as a disease. How does one experience this disease after they stop drinking? Paul shares his thinking that “if you want to find out why you drink, quit drinking and you’ll find out pretty quickly”. And another thought “it’s not an alcohol problem; it’s a sobriety problem”. When you are addicted to alcohol, withdrawals are a huge problem. But another issues presents itself when we are sober and no longer using alcohol to cope or cheat code for dopamine. Our eyes are wide open to the movie of our lives and there is no way to shut it off. This is why people in recovery attend social circles where people can talk about the baseline state of the human mind, which is restless, irritable and discontent. When we come together, we have a better chance to heal. [07:25] Paul introduces Niko: Niko lives in San Juan, Puerto Rico and is the youngest of three siblings. He enjoys beach tennis, swimming and volleyball, which was something he played a lot in school. Niko first tried alcohol when he was around 12. By age 14, he had his first blackout. For years Niko never questioned his drinking because he figured if he could tolerate it and wasn’t doing stupid or embarrassing things, he was fine. Niko was recruited to play volleyball in a college in Pennsylvania. His drinking interfered with his grades, but he never questioned his drinking until recently. Drinking is very embedded in his culture and says it isn’t abnormal for teenagers to be drinking at the table with adults. In his 30s, Niko says he added cocaine to his drinking, and this continued until last year. Niko knew he had an issue with it, but it wasn’t until his girlfriend presented an ultimatum that it was the drugs or her. He was able to quit cocaine and started therapy where he proclaimed he still had to be able to drink. After a few weeks, he talked with a friend that had recently quit drinking who encouraged him to give it a try. The first week without alcohol was pretty tough for Niko but he says things turned around in the second week as he entered the pink cloud and started thinking he should keep going. Niko has dabbled in AA and SMART Recovery. He sees his therapist once a week and also attends group therapy with up to 8 other people. Without alcohol Niko is getting to know himself again and his therapist helps a lot with that. She introduced him to the RE podcast which he says he has listened to a lot while going to the gym and walking the dog. He has lost 45 pounds since quitting drinking and is starting to do more of the sports he loved when he was younger. Since he has been getting to know himself, he is finding the ability to be more present for others as well. Niko’s parting piece of guidance: if you think you have a problem or maybe you don’t think you have a problem, just give yourself a try. You won’t regret it. Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down, but you gotta take the stairs back up. I love you guys. RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Alyssa. She is 30 years old from Vancouver, WA and took her last drink on September 5, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link – Next Monday, our five-week course called Ditching the Booze. This is our alcohol-free 101 crash course and is included with Café RE membership. All sessions are live and you’re tuning in with others who are in the same spot as you. The sessions are also recorded in case you can’t attend. On Tuesday, April 1, registration opens for our flagship retreat in Bozeman which is always a lot of fun. In addition to our lake hangout, breathwork and recovery workshops, we’re also playing laser tag. [03:20] Thoughts from Paul: Today Paul talks about why alcohol can be so hard to quit, why the process of quitting can take years and can contain many stops and starts. Addiction guru Gabor Mate says, “addictions are always a human response to pain, suffering and trauma”. We are constantly in search of homeostasis. When we find something effective at helping us find this relief, it becomes our first technique to use when we are in pain. After drinking long enough, you’ll get to the point where you only feel good, or dopamine will only be created when we are drinking. It takes time after quitting drinking for our body to naturally create dopamine on its own. You will need to learn new routines, create new habits and figure out a way to fill the time that used to be spent drinking. Paul shares with us several other reasons quitting drinking is hard. Why do you think quitting drinking is so hard? Comment on RE’s Instagram page. There’s a post for today’s episode. [09:02] Paul introduces Alyssa: Alyssa lives in Vancouver, WA with her fiancé and two Rotskis. She currently works as a server and in her free time she enjoys reading and traveling with her fiancé. They are currently trying to determine where they are going to move to be closer to family. Alyssa says she had an early introduction to alcohol but never really considered it an issue until she met her fiancé who doesn’t drink. For years, everyone around her drank so she didn’t notice her own drinking. Alyssa’s drinking increased slowly but became daily during the pandemic. In 2021 she read Easy Way to Quit Drinking by Allen Carr and was able to stop for a few months. For Alyssa, her drinking began to create an inner turmoil, and it started to erode her confidence because she was making promises to herself and then breaking them by drinking instead of accomplishing her goals. After quitting for a period of time, Alyssa thought that she would be able to moderate. In time, she says, she was right back where she was. After moving in with her father while they save up to find their own place, Alyssa says the lack of goals and uncertainty of the future found her drinking more to cope. She was no longer active and was losing self-esteem while anxiety and depression took hold. At the bottom of her heart, Alyssa knew that eliminating alcohol would help fix the way she was feeling. Alyssa chose a quit date and started seeking sober podcasts and books to prepare, including This Naked Mind. It was after a night out with friends that Alyssa told her fiancé that she didn’t want to drink anymore. He was very supportive of her decision and offered to help however he could. Alyssa continued to read This Naked Mind and participated in a 30-day sober challenge. This paired with the liberation she felt from her decision led to a pink cloud experience for Alyssa. Anxiety and depression started to lift quickly. Going forward, she is trying to figure out what she wants to do in the future, and she believes in sobriety the options are endless. Alyssa’s parting piece of guidance: Just listen to that little voice. Give sobriety as many chances as you gave alcohol. Recovery Elevator Rule 22: lighten up - let’s do our best not to take ourselves too seriously. I...

Today we have Lisa. She is from Brisbane, Australia and took her last drink on February 24, 2022. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. With 24/7 access to a like-minded community committed to living alcohol-free, you’ll never feel alone on this journey. [02:35] Thoughts from Paul: Healing from alcohol addiction is more about restoring the original circuitry we arrived on the planet with, opposed to learning anything new. You already have everything you need to quit drinking. There is nothing wrong with you, we simply need to remove the layers of muck, grime, false stories and incorrect paradigms that we have accumulated over the years of living in a toxic culture. As you clean up your inner mess, you’re also laying the foundation for others to begin their healing process. When you heal, others around you heal. [07:27] Paul introduces Lisa: Lisa is 45 years old and lives in Brisbane, Australia. She runs a residential rehab for women. For fun, Lisa enjoys CrossFit and the community that comes with it. She has a 21-year-old son. Lisa first tried alcohol when she was 17. It was an issue from the first time she picked it up. Once she got the feeling in her system, she just kept going. This continued until she was pregnant with her son who was born when she was 24 years old. When her son was 13 months old, Lisa became a single mom and wanted to find herself again as he started to get older. With her mom helping her with her son, she was able to start going out to meet people and says the only way she knew how to do that was with alcohol involved. Lisa says she thought to be sociable, you had to drink. There were times when Lisa was able to abstain for extended periods while focusing on her son and fitness, but she always went back to it. She found herself using drinks as a reward to get through the weekdays and then would binge drink on the weekends. This cost her multiple jobs in the fitness and nutrition world. Lisa found herself blaming everything but herself or her drinking. Lisa had been working on getting sober for quite a while but had always been trying to do it for other people or jobs. A few years before her sobriety date, she had a revelation that she had to quit drinking for herself. She was able to go 500 days from that point and says she wasn’t doing the work suggested to her and ended up drinking again. At this point she was adding other substances to her drinking. A weekend camping trip in November 2021 ended badly for Lisa and after her partner picked her up, she shared that she didn’t want to live anymore. The fact that she felt that way scared her. When her son questioned her about going to rehab, Lisa told her she couldn’t because she had so many other obligations. The drinking continued and she would start going to lengths to try and conceal it. After a weekend away with her son, she found herself on a balcony consumed with suicidal thoughts. It was then that she called a rehab to try and get help. Within a few days, she travelled 8 hours south to start rehab. Lisa says her connection to herself is now authentic. She no longer looks to others or external things to make her happy. Lisa feels free and can now be grateful for her addiction because of where it has led her. She knows she has to put herself and her recovery first which was hard in the beginning. And now after three years, she still makes sure to attend meetings and do what needs to be done to stay sober every day. Lisa’s parting piece of guidance: just put it down one day at a time. And if it takes one minute at a time, one hour at a time, whatever it is that you need to do to get off the booze, there is a better life out there for you. Recovery Elevator Go big because eventually we’ll all go home. I love you guys. RE merch Recovery Elevator...

Today we have Charlie. She is 32 years old from London, UK. She took her last drink on December 28, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month In October of this year, we are going to Peru! There are still spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. Registration closes June 2 which is the deadline for Inca trail tickets. [02:50] Thoughts from Paul: According to NCS solutions, who poll people about their drinking, the number of people who want to cut back on their drinking increases every year. In 2025, 36% more people participated in Dry January than in 2024. A good reason why the numbers are increasing is reflected in a poem Paul shares called Memories of Alcohol by an unknown author. So much of the work we do is reframing how we view alcohol. Subconsciously it is still deeply ingrained in our culture that drinking enhances our lives, but we have all learned that it doesn’t. Once the voice in our head starts telling us that a drink would be nice or we deserve a drink we can start giving it some tough love and tell it that no, a drink would not be nice and please give me some better ideas. [05:09] Paul introduces Charlie: Charlie is a software engineer from London and will be getting married in April. For fun, Charlie has rediscovered that she enjoys skiing, running and swimming. Growing up, Charlie witnessed both parents struggle with divorce and use of alcohol and medications. She started drinking when she was around 14. Charlie says everyone around her drank and seemed to be having a good time, so she joined in without thinking twice. Around her mid-twenties, Charlie started to have a subtle undercurrent of doubt in her mind and a quiet voice suggesting that maybe she wasn’t the best version of herself anymore. Since she never had what others would consider a problem, she didn’t think her drinking was an issue. Charlie began to find things weren’t going wrong for her, but they weren’t necessarily going right either. She felt stagnated. In an effort to try and make changes to this she removed alcohol from time to time and began to connect the dots between her stagnation and the alcohol use. Charlies says she tried moderation, but it was exhausting. Her all-or-nothing mentality made it difficult. She also shares that she has had multiple stints of around 100 days without alcohol because she learned that was a good amount of time to feel many of the positive effects of quitting. This time feels different for Charlie because she has leaned into the sobriety community a bit more. She has been listening to podcasts and reading books and learned that the key to maintaining sobriety is to find community. Since there are more people around her encouraging her and sharing insights, Charlie feels this time is indefinite as opposed to the other times when she had a finish line of sorts. Charlies says since quitting drinking her positivity has returned and she is feeling like the younger version of herself now. She shares that it’s amazing how much you can fit into a day when half of it isn’t taken up by drinking or recovering from it. Charlie’s parting piece of guidance: if you’ve never quit drinking before, what’s that worst that can happen? Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. We can do this. Café RE RE merch Recovery Elevator YouTube Sobriety Tracker iTunes