Enneagram and Marriage

How do you go from busy and overloaded to present in marriage and family, especially when we know that "turning towards" behaviors are what make relationships succeed or fail long-term, especially when we differ SO much after a long span of time together in marriage? As we strive to connect in a truly frenetic world when we have so much to do along with all of these differences, today Christa is sharing a meaningful and uplifting conversation with you and top podcast expert on the massively successful The Minimalist Mom Podcast and Instagram influencer, Diane Boden, Enneagram 7 (7-5) pairing on the pod! We analyze the 5-7 pairing deeply and then Diane to help us with the gift of her pairing as she gives realistic and life-giving tips for minimalism and experiences so you can truly simplify in an overly complex world! Specific convos here are: Diane's 5-7 pairing and what she's learning in her second decade of marriage about becoming less scattered with friendships Setting systems into place to help everyone in the family, not just one person Starting in spaces with less sentimental items Talking with your spouse for 5 min each week to get settled into the rhythms Finding what you're both on board with in terms of minimalism and getting focused and organized Find more free mental and physical space with your systems How to work with the busy chaos and say no more How to find the jomo (joy of missing out!) Find Diane's Minimalist Mom Podcast here on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/minimalistmomspodcast/?hl=en and on her website here https://minimalistmomspodcast.com/about Can you spread the word on the book tour? 🥳🙏 Leave your review of "The Enneagram in Marriage" book right here: https://www.amazon.com/Enneagram-Marriage-Thriving-Together-Pairing/dp/1540903370 Join Christa virtually on your own time in the Enneagram in Marriage 5 week course here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-enneagram-in-marriage-5-week-course-for-sale We would love to hear from you! Leave your questions or messages for Christa or sign up for coaching RIGHT HERE: https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/contact-us Sign Up For Christa's WEEKLY NEWSLETTER here: https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/olivbuf96o Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/772026686525647 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@enneagramandmarriage?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So many couples hold secrets from one another, but it's not healthy for either of you and you're not likely to tell one another the truth if you don't feel safe. Today we're joined by Laurie Gerber, Type 6 (6-2 pairing) who tells us how she worked from struggle to truth and freedom in her own marriage and gives you tangible tips to thrive from a place of truth. Questions we cover are "How do you start becoming more truthful?" "How do you tell harder truths?" "How can you welcome truth from your spouse so they're more likely to be open?" Visit Laurie's website for her support here: https://lauriegerber.com/ Visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for all of your relationship needs! Leaving a show review is HUGE! Leave one here! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagram-and-marriage/id1493137938 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whether at home or the office, your work life is an enormous part of the day and deserves rich contemplation and optimization. Today Christa invites you to a conversation to greatly benefit you by bringing joy into your work rhythms by discovering your own Enneagram intelligence, emotional, and instinctual work strengths and areas for growth. With the new assessment that today's guest, Marty Munger, CEO of WorkCoach.co and her team developed just for you, you'll be able to thrive with clarity and direction. Make sure to tune in as we talk with Marty not only about relationships (of course, and she's in a systematizing 5-7 pairing!) but also how your work typology can be both a strength and a liability you must pay attention to if you want to thrive! Christa shares her work temperament as well! ALSO: Marty and her team have an INCREDIBLE offer for our wonderful E + M Community (you!) right here! >> https://workcoach.co/marriage 📣 Take Marty's assessment and get a FREE intro coaching session! 📣 Here's her Instagram for a follow there as well! 📣 Don't forget to get Christa's book here too for all of your relationship needs! 📣 https://www.amazon.com/Enneagram-Marriage-Thriving-Together-Pairing/dp/1540903370 or visit the website at www.enneagramandmarriage.com Did you like today's episode and offer? It would be awesome for you to leave a review here! ❤️https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagram-and-marriage/id1493137938 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Each of us needs to understand the other in conflict and yet our personalities get in the way. This listener-requested episode helps you to walk through conflict with those people with temperaments who do not show as much emotion and/or prefer to solve problems logically or linearly. You'll learn ways you can develop a healthier internal narrative as well as prevent and repair conflict, building understanding together, too! Make sure you get a copy of "The Enneagram in Marriage" also here to get Enneagram and conflict tips. https://www.amazon.com/Enneagram-Marriage-Thriving-Together-Pairing/dp/1540903370 Make sure you connect with us at 941301-8420 if you'd like to connect with a coach or counselor or visit https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/contact-us Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Troubleshooting your life and intimacy stresses also includes understanding the rhythms of your own unique sensory up and down regulating at work and in your marriage dance as well! If you want to truly ignite your love and work in the best ways possible, you’ll pay attention to these rhythms and honor each precious week across the month for what it really allows for versus forcing everything all at once. Yes, every week truly has a sacred gift of its own, whether rest, reflection, or revving you up and although we can push through, allowing for some nuanced microtweaks helps a great deal! To do this with order and fun, we're strategizing with occupational therapist Renae Fieck, Enneagram 9w8, in a convo about how to walk through the month with healthy, healing, and joyful systems for passion and productivity. Join us as we round out and troubleshoot in our final episode of the Igniting Your Sexual Instinct series. Join Renae on Instagram here! https://www.instagram.com/renaefieck/?hl=en Join Renae on her helpful email list right here! https://renaefieck.com/ Get Christa's new book, "The Enneagram in Marriage" here! https://a.co/d/bU7BNqy Catch all of our blogs and goodies at www.EnneagramandMarriage.com and make sure you're on our email list for all the fun freebies and sales! Watch on YouTube here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Often, couples are too uncomfortable to ask their pastor or marriage counselor about how to build their love life in marriage in the areas of not just building attraction and desire and also how to successfully approach sexual arousal and resolution, especially since statistically women experience about half the full sexual arousal as compared to men. Improving your sexual intimacy together in the bedroom takes not only guesswork but active research and tips that begin outside of the bedroom as well so you can understand a healthy sexual response cycle in marriage. Today, Christa walks you through some of the most important tips for building intimacy and enjoying mutually pleasurable sex in your marriage. This is a very important episode for your marriage and for more life-giving relationship-building tips, make sure you grab Christa's book right here! Watch on YouTube here! Find more relationship tips overall here! www.enneagramandmarriage.com and for more sexual tips. Research from Sheila Wray Gregoire's book, The Good Girl (and Guys) Guide to Sex Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Rest is the most underused, safe, and chemical-free alternative to relieve stress, and it's about way more than just sleep. Today we cover seven different kinds of rest you need with our esteemed guest author, researcher, and physician, Dr. Sandra Dalton-Smith, MD, Enneagram 3 (as featured on TedX, CNN, Fox, MSNBC), to tell us how we can and must get rest (and we even offer you a free test to find your rest deficits!). Join us for a vulnerable conversation where we reveal the types of rest Christa needs most, too, as you figure yours out as well! Tune in to truly learn rest for you, your marriage, and your family right here! Watch on YoutTube here! Take the Rest Quiz free here! https://www.restquiz.com/quiz/rest-quiz-test/ Get a copy of Dr. Dalton’s book, Sacred Rest, here! https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Rest-Recover-Energy-Restore/dp/1478921676 To join the E + M Collective membership, join here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/membership-join Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As you aim for a healthy and loving sexual intimacy life in your marriage, in this second installment of the Igniting Your SX Instinct Series of the Enneagram and Marriage podcast, we're not only discussing what attracts us to one another and what builds our love and chemistry up, but also about what builds desire biologically, psychologically, and emotionally for a healthy love life together just for the two of you in your marriage! Watch on YouTube here! This week only, join the Enneagram & Marriage Membership here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/membership-join The sensate focus exercise is here: https://health.cornell.edu/sites/health/files/pdf-library/sensate-focus.pdf For even more details on the research behind this episode, check out www.thepauselife.com and www.hubermanlab.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Right now in our highly curated culture, individuals are desperately seeking authenticity, depth, and understanding together. This is because we all need connection as we process hard pieces of life and grief together if we want joy, love, and laughter to genuinely emerge from a healthy space. To tackle this huge topic with joy and depth both, Christa is joined by the highly authentic (and highly humorous) author and podcast host Molly Stillman (The Molly Stillman Show), author of the deeply personal account, If I Don't Laugh I'll Cry: How Death, Debt, and Comedy Led to a Life of Faith, Farming, and Forgetting What I Came into This Room For. Tune in to hear Molly's tips for other 2-8 couples and for all of us walking through communication issues, and life crises, including finances, losing parents, and potentially losing ourselves too, if we step into the light of connection and faith. Watch on YouTube! Purchase Link: https://www.stillbeingmolly.com/if-i-dont-laugh-ill-cry/ Website: https://www.stillbeingmolly.com/ Social Media Links: https://www.facebook.com/stillbeingmolly https://www.instagram.com/stillbeingmolly To join our Enneagram and Marriage Collective membership group for more authenticity and vulnerability, join us here for only $29 a month for four extra pods a month, Zoom meetings, and more!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Marriages are often broken down by unhealthy sexual intimacy triggers and practices and in your quest to get healthy intimately together in your sexual instincts, you need to address your connection from a foundation of goodness. In this new E + M Series, you'll learn to connect through intimacy that starts with foreplay both outside and inside of the bedroom. Here we begin to ignite your passion again by laying intimacy building blocks as you and your spouse to build a safe emotional landscape together, one step at a time. Tune in as we gently and respectfully explore how to nourish your sexual intimacy life from the foundation up, bringing a baseline of goodness versus rigidity, perfectionism, and especially as you let go of hurtful practices that ultimately leave you in shame or addictive cycles. Tune in to create a baseline for true, heart-stopping intimacy goodness together here in this primer for the SX instinct new series! Show links: Here's the Heart of Parenting seminar mentioned on the podcast! Here's our Relationship Bundle where we go type by type through tips for spouses in the bedroom type by type + bonuses as well! For our deeper dive podcast on Sexual Desire & Arousal Change Across the Monthly Cycle, visit Apple Podcast Subscriber Series here! Watch on YouTube here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Though compassion and gentleness are wonderful traits, when these traits are paired with codependency, enabling, and a lack of healthy boundaries, vulnerable individuals, namely empaths, often repeat familiar trauma cycles by pairing with a mate who has high narcissism markers in relationships, sometimes even pathologically so. This high tolerance for unchecked inappropriate behaviors can lead to fawning or freezing when it's time to set boundaries, get help, or leave a dangerous relationship. If you find yourself or someone you love shamed or scared to leave but being threatened and gaslighted in a marital, dating, or spiritual situation, this episode is for you! We are joined by NPD expert Melissa Thompson, Enneagram 2, who is here giving us the very best tools for healthy empowerment! Watch on YouTube! Find Melissa's FB Group here! Follow Melissa on Instagram Follow Melissa on TikTok Find Melissa's website here! Find all of your relationship needs at www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this just-for-fun E + M on Spring break episode, we ask you to kick back and enjoy a relaxed and endearing episode as we discuss the enemies-to-lovers trope of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice as well as what types we think the most romantic couple of all time are, Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet. Don’t miss this chance to explore the hilarious cast of characters we will discuss with love and fun here on this E + M meet-cute of literature and love! Watch on YouTube here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Now that daylight savings time has come and you’re finding energy wherever you can, you'll also need rest so you can truly thrive together for the long haul. Here Christa helps each type set the tone for healthy and much-needed restful rhythms, which differ for individuals of each personality type both in life and in relationships. Listen and learn how to find healthy rest amidst the hard work for you and also your partner right here! Watch on YouiTube here! Get your Enneagram Glow pairing guide here! For all of your relationship needs, visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As humans, we desire to use our energy well so we can tend to our families, and today we talk about putting this into place practically with joy. Since each type has a very particular way of over (or under) expending their energy, in this mini-episode, you're also getting a few brief tips for you type by type. Learn to use your energy to the very fullest for your relationships to thrive here! Watch on YouTube! Sign up to watch Apple Podcast Myers Briggs + Enneagram today also! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagram-and-marriage/id1493137938 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you’re serving clients, patients, kids, families, students, or helping at work in a fast-paced environment, inviting in restful rhythms in life or marriage may feel audacious and impossible next to your never-ending to-do list. However, those who are natural givers often deeply struggle to thrive because of this tendency to serve until burnout. Here you're invited to lean into practices that will help you to give for the long haul as we chat with Holly Oxhandler, Ph.D., MSW, author (Soul of the Helper) Enneagram 2 (2/9 pairing), mom, wife, associate professor and associate dean at Baylor University’s school of social work. Don’t miss this chance to learn how it’s truly possible to slow down as well as love your people well. Watch on YouTube here! Holly K. Oxhandler, PhD, LMSW, is an associate professor and the associate dean for research and faculty development at Baylor University’s Diana R. Garland School of Social Work. Dr. Oxhandler has developed various instruments to measure the integration of clients’ religion/spirituality in mental health treatment, the integration of the helping professionals’ faith in their work, as well as clients’ views toward discussing their spirituality in treatment. Learn from Holly on her website with her offerings right here! Here is her Instagram also! Get her book on Amazon here! It's here! Sign up for the FREE Enneasummit on Love & Relationships right here! Get the All-Access Pass to the Summit here! Get on the email list at www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for all of the fun news and events, too! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Although the Enneagram is a wonderful tool to assess our relationship depths, other personality assessments also offer us excellent insight for our relationship love styles. Here Christa introduces you to Myers Briggs (the MBTI) in this listener-requested mini episode to give you a brief tutorial on how you may grow in love and work life together using this robust system. Explore Introverting versus Extroversion (I/E), Sensing versus Intuition (S/I), Thinking versus Feeling (T/F), and Judging versus Perceiving (J/P). As you learn, allow yourself to lean into your partners' type as well as to your lesser activated styles of relating too as you consider your differences for a fuller life experience. Don’t know your types? Watch On YouTube Here Take the TypeFinder/16 Personalities (their free MBTI variant) on Truity.com Sign up for the FREE Enneasummit on Love & Relationships right here! Get on the email list at www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for all of the fun news and events, too! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Often you want so desperately to relate well and with joy together, but when a relational rupture happens, we don't know how to repair it with healthy shifts and boundaries. Here we are joined by neuroscience expert and licensed marriage and family therapist Juliane Taylor Shore to help us sort out how to handle more difficult experiences together. Juliane takes us through the heavy lifting of relationships at their best - and their worst - with comfort, empowerment, and a head, heart, and body approach to help us discover what we can do when we are lost and feeling unsafe in our relationships. Watch the uncut version on YouTube here! Join Juliane Taylor Shore at her website with her offerings right here! Get her book on Amazon here! Sign up for the FREE Enneasummit on Love & Relationships right here! Find your pairing's light/glow together here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/store/c4/enneagramglow Get on the email list at www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for all of the fun news and events, too! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Humility is the absence of pride and conceit in a relationship, and unfortunately, the underbelly of an individualistic Western philosophy is often a lack of it. Yet, sometimes we believe that if we’re humble, our partner will take narcissistic advantage of us, and if they’re not healthy, that may well just happen. Tune into this must-listen mini episode for tools for both of you to truly find the essential virtue of humility as well as steps to get there right here healthily for each and every personality type! Watch on YouTube! Sign up for the FREE Enneasummit on Love & Relationships right here! Get the conference all-access pass here! Find your pairing's light/glow together here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/store/c4/enneagramglow Get on the email list at www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for all of the fun news and events, too! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When you share the gifts you have, the whole world is improved, little by little. In contrast, when couples and individuals get caught up in the dark desire to get ahead for themselves despite what happens to others, those who are weaker, elderly, less affluent, less desirable or otherwise more culturally marginalized get forgotten and discarded. In this episode, Christa walks you through sharing your light, even through discouragement, through the lens of the magnificent WWII novel, "All the Light We Cannot See" along with her husband Wes, who joins in for a conversation walking through the important elements from the accompanying Netflix series. Tune in here for reminders of how to love in each of our own very small but also very significant ways! Watch YouTube here! Sign up for the FREE Enneasummit on Love & Relationships right here! Get the conference all-access pass here! Read or watch All the Light We Cannot See here: Netflix Series: https://www.netflix.com/title/81083008 Book: https://www.amazon.com/All-Light-We-Cannot-See/dp/1501173219 Find your pairing's light/glow together here! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/store/c4/enneagramglow Get on the email list at www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for all of the fun news and events, too! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do women find attractive long-term? How do you show strength and softness as a man? How do you allow for femininity without becoming weak? Join us today for this special love episode as we give tips for all of this, and moreover, as we give your love just the boost it needs in this mini-must listen episode on ascending the peaks of your relationship together! Watch on YouTube here! Sign up for the FREE Enneasummit on Love & Relationships right here! Get the conference all-access pass here! Join the E + M Coaching Certification here! Use code MASTERCLASS for $500 off! https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass Get on the email list at www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for all of the fun news and events, too! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices