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Ancient History: Jurassic Park vs The Mummy (1999)

When it comes to people going too far in their pursuit of knowledge (and money), leading to ancient predators being unleashed upon the world that they need to then stop, Jurassic Park is nowhere near as good as The Mummy (1999, obviously). I tear into Jurassic Park much how a dinosaur should have torn into Dr. Hammond's awful grandchildren.


Somebody to Love: (500) Days of Summer vs Tiptoes

This week’s comparison features 2 unexpected and quirky love stories that don't follow the typical Hollywood formula — it's (500) Days of Summer vs Tiptoes. I explain why Summer was in the right, prove my undying love for Kate Beckinsale, and I beg listeners to help me find the extended cut of Tiptoes.


In Too Deep: The Big Lebowski vs Zoolander

I’m coming for The Dude sympathizers in this week’s episode about movies featuring a hapless bystander who becomes embroiled in someone else’s evil plots — it’s The Big Lebowski vs Zoolander.


All in the Family: August: Osage County vs Home for the Holidays

Instead of fighting with someone in your own family, watch fake families fight each other for your entertainment this holiday season! I get into the highly dysfunctional families of August: Osage County and Home for the Holidays and explain why I watch Queen Holly Hunter in Home for the Holidays every single Thanksgiving.


May-December: The Graduate vs Adore

This week’s episode features two movies focusing on a May-December romance with hot older ladies and whiny young boys — it’s The Graduate vs Adore. I have a LOT to say about both and if I can get even one person to watch Adore, I’ll feel I’ve done my part.


The Nice Guys: Forrest Gump vs Blast from the Past

This week, I’m talking about 2 movies featuring a kind but naive protagonist who sails through life without a care in the world as absolutely absurd things happen around him and also he gets a hot blonde girlfriend — it’s Forrest Gump vs Blast from the Past.


Toil and Trouble: Hocus Pocus vs Halloweentown

In honor of Halloween, I’m talking about two groups of PG Disney witches — it’s Hocus Pocus vs Halloweentown. I’m hoping all the Halloweentown fans come out of the woodwork to talk to me about Debbie Reynolds, Judith Hoag’s denim jacket, and why we can all still remember Sophie’s spell. I also defend Sarah Jessica Parker and explain why Vinessa Shaw is the best part of Hocus Pocus.


16 and Pregnant: Juno vs Saved!

These two comedies about pregnant teenagers share a few key elements but have much less in common than you might expect. Juno is almost saccharine in its quirky and indie music drenched love story, while Saved! is a witty and darkly comedic commentary on faith and society.


Price of Fame: A Star is Born vs Country Strong

Enjoy my rageful comparison of 2 movies about aging country singers with substance abuse problems, the hot young star they take under their wing, and the price of fame — it’s A Star is Born vs Country Strong. Spoiler alert: I HATED A Star is Born. I love the legend known as Gwyneth Paltrow. I welcome arguments about my opinions, I’m ready and raring to go in defending my Bradley Cooper rage.


Peer Pressure: A Clockwork Orange vs The Stepford Wives

This week’s comparison features two movies that reflect on the state of society and free will - it’s A Clockwork Orange vs The Stepford Wives (2004). Stanley Kubrick’s 80 hour so-called masterpiece is a dark future world of ultraviolence, while The Stepford Wives is a hilarious satire that follows Nicole Kidman’s entry into an idyllic town straight out of Leave It To Beaver. These movies are shockingly similar in how they deal with conformity, control, and what it means to be a human.


Women Scorned: Fatal Attraction vs Obsessed

I have watched many an erotic thriller in my day, so I thought it fitting we talk about one of the first versus one of the best — it’s Fatal Attraction vs Obsessed. Was Michael Douglas a sex symbol? Why was everyone in Fatal Attraction so into spaghetti? Why haven’t you all watched Obsessed?! Idris Elba is a hot rich guy who sends his wife, Beyoncé, flowers every week, while Ali Larter munches on strawberries and wears a trench coat. The choice between these two films is clear.


Puppet Masters: Ferris Bueller's Day Off vs Cruel Intentions

I LOVE CRUEL INTENTIONS. I had to get that out there first. I love it so much. This episode of Tasteless focuses on high school megalomaniacs who manipulate everyone around them: Ferris Bueller in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Kathryn Merteuil in Cruel Intentions. I think Ferris is a full on monster, maybe related to my difficult negative emotions surrounding Matthew Broderick, and I think Sarah Michelle Gellar as Kathryn is one of the all time best characters committed to film.


In Cold Blood: Zodiac vs Copycat

We are fascinated by serial killers, some to an unhealthy degree. Of course they’ve crept into our media, and so I’m pitting a crime drama about one of the most infamous serial killers of all time against an A+ thriller featuring a serial killer that mimics those who came before him. It’s Zodiac vs Copycat. Zodiac features Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr., Dermot Mulroney, Chloe Sevigny, and about 100 other unnecessary people. Copycat stars Sigourney Weaver, Holly Hunter,...


Family Matters: Mrs. Doubtfire vs Striptease

Two movies that are shockingly similar in their theme of parents willing to go to any lengths for their children are Mrs. Doubtfire and Striptease. Spoiler alert, I’m going to convince you that you’re better off watching Striptease with your kids than Mrs. Doubtfire because Striptease has better morals.


Out of this World: E.T. vs Earth Girls Are Easy

Today we dig into one of the biggest disagreements among all humans: what do aliens look like?! Are they grey with big eyes? Are they super hotties? E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial and Earth Girls are Easy chose different portrayals for their central aliens, but both movies feature a human in need of a friend and an alien in need of a savior.


Tomb Raiders: Indiana Jones vs Lara Croft

It's the showdown we've all been waiting for — two movies that feature people who should really wear gloves when they go to work and stop getting their finger oils on priceless artifacts aka Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark vs Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.


Wack Pack: The Grand Budapest Hotel vs Butter

The Grand Budapest Hotel and Butter both feature a bunch of weirdos with passions they excel at and children that are not annoying, a real feat for any movie. The cast of characters in both films is extensive and impressive, leading to a real grab bag of humor, emotions, and insanity.


Glow Up: Easy A vs The Princess Diaries

Easy A and The Princess Diaries are two coming-of-age movies about young women in high school who get makeovers, stop being invisible, and have to figure out who they really are. Anne Hathaway is a comedic gift, Mandy Moore's Wild Hope is my favorite album of all time, and none of us appreciated the friendship of Heather Matarazzo as much as we should have.


Make a Killing: Gone Girl vs Wild Things

Here are two movies where women have complicated crime schemes and the viewer goes on a real crazy ride - it's Gone Girl vs Wild Things. In this episode, I also take a moment to give an impassioned defense of the erotic thriller genre as a whole. Spoilers ahead for both films, but honestly I could tell you every beat of Wild Things and you should still watch and enjoy it.


Fear Factor: The Cabin in the Woods vs The Final Girls

The Cabin in the Woods and The Final Girls are trailblazers in the world of horror, both very unique takes on the genre that play with scary movie tropes but have as many laughs as there are scares. I get way too earnest about my deep love and appreciation for The Final Girls and Malin Akerman. I swear it's a funny movie even though I talk about it with the gravitas usually reserved for movies like Schindler's List or Sophie's Choice.