Done For

What happens when the prospect of death - our own and the people we care about - is suddenly not so abstract? What does constructive contemplation of mortality look like… in the middle of a pandemic?

This week we continue into the 5th of Frank’s Invitations, Cultivate Don’t Know Mind. In this episode we continue sharing our personal experiences around each invitation, as well as challenging the application. Our conversation returns to two basic questions: 1) what leads to a good death? and 2) what leads to a good life? Listen in! RESOURCES: Ostaseski, Frank, The Five Invitations (Flatiron Books, 2017). Frank Ostaseski is an internationally respected Buddhist teacher and visionary cofounder of the Zen Hospice Project, and founder of the Metta Institute. He has lectured at Harvard Medical School, the Mayo Clinic, Wisdom.2.0 and teaches at major spiritual centers around the globe. Frank is the 2018 recipient of the prestigious Humanities Award from the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine. Zen koans are stories or sayings that are used as meditation prompts. Read more about them here: https://www.britannica.com/topic/koan. If you or someone you love is grappling with dementia, know that you don’t have to deal with it alone. You can find resources here: https://www.dementiacarecentral.com/caregiverinfo/careforcaregivers/support/. You can find Frank’s great book club discussion guide on his website at https://fiveinvitations.com/book-club/. Venn diagrams are ways of showing the overlap of different phenomena. You can read more about them here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venn_diagram. Brain plasticity refers to the brain’s ability to adapt and change over the course of our lifetime. You can read more about it here: https://www.brainhq.com/brain-resources/brain-plasticity/what-is-brain-plasticity/ Gumby is the clay-mation creation of Art Clokey. You can read about him here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gumby. Plastic Man is a character in the DC comics universe who can stretch and extend his body. You can read about him here: https://www.dccomics.com/characters/plastic-man. Learn more about Andrew Chirch, David Greenson, and Jessica Shine at DoneForPodcast.com

SHOW NOTES: This week we continue into the 4th of Frank’s Invitations, Find a Place of Rest in the Middle of Things. In this episode we continue sharing our personal experiences around each invitation, as well as challenging the application. Our conversation returns to two basic questions: 1) what leads to a good death? and 2) what leads to a good life? Listen in! RESOURCES: Ostaseski, Frank, The Five Invitations (Flatiron Books, 2017). Frank Ostaseski is an internationally respected Buddhist teacher and visionary cofounder of the Zen Hospice Project, and founder of the Metta Institute. He has lectured at Harvard Medical School, the Mayo Clinic, Wisdom.2.0 and teaches at major spiritual centers around the globe. Frank is the 2018 recipient of the prestigious Humanities Award from the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine. Dr. Angeles Arrien (1940-2014) was a Basque-American teacher, speaker, anthropologist and writer. She is best known for her book The Four-Fold Way: Walking the Paths of the Warrior, Healer, Teacher and Visionary. You can read more about her here: http://www.angelesarrien.com/ https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angeles_Arrien The Sacrament of the Sick (or the Anointing of the Sick, formerly known as Last Rites) is a Catholic practice. You can read more about it here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anointing_of_the_Sick_in_the_Catholic_Church Step down units provide an intermediate level of hospital care between the intensive care units and general medical-surgical wards. Mala Beads (also known as prayer beads in Buddhism and Hinduism) are a tool used alongside the recitation of a mantra or other forms of meditation. You can read more about them here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhist_prayer_beads The first and second chapters of the Jewish creation story can be found here: https://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/8166/jewish/Chapter-1.htm For a great conversation about how to balance self-care and activism, see this interview with Parker Palmer and Courtney Martin on On Being: https://onbeing.org/programs/parker-palmer-courtney-martin-the-inner-life-of-rebellion/ Learn more about Andrew Chirch, David Greenson, and Jessica Shine at DoneForPodcast.com

SHOW NOTES: This week we continue into the 3rd of Frank’s Invitations, Bring Your Whole Self to the Experience. In this episode we continue sharing our personal experiences around each invitation, as well as challenging the application. Our conversation returns to two basic questions: 1) What leads to a good death? and 2) What does that tell us about how to live a good life? Leave us a voicemail with your own thoughts. We may share on a future episode. RESOURCES: Ostaseski, Frank, The Five Invitations (Flatiron Books, 2017). Frank Ostaseski is an internationally respected Buddhist teacher and visionary cofounder of the Zen Hospice Project, and founder of the Metta Institute. He has lectured at Harvard Medical School, the Mayo Clinic, Wisdom.2.0 and teaches at major spiritual centers around the globe. Frank is the 2018 recipient of the prestigious Humanities Award from the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine. Therapy. If you’re wrestling with your sexuality, or how to love your self, or whether God can love you, please find a good therapist. The root (of the word therapy) in the Greek actually means to create space where there is healing or relief. HINT: if your ‘counselor’ is trying to fix you or feels like they’re trying to convert you…. RUN. Seriously. Need an Interfaith Chaplain? You can find a few of our favorites by clicking on the Providers tab at www.chaplaincyinstitute.org. Learn more about Andrew Chirch, David Greenson, and Jessica Shine (hyperlink to either the DF website or various sites for our names?) DoneForPodcast.com

SHOW NOTES: This week we continue into the 2 of Frank’s Invitations, Welcome Everything, Push Away Nothing. In this episode we continue sharing our personal experiences around each invitation, as well as challenging the application. Our conversation returns to two basic questions: 1) What leads to a good death? and 2) What does that tell us about how to live a good life? Listen in. Leave us a voicemail with your own thoughts. We may share on a future episode. RESOURCES: Ostaseski, Frank, The Five Invitations (Flatiron Books, 2017). Frank Ostaseski is an internationally respected Buddhist teacher and visionary cofounder of the Zen Hospice Project, and founder of the Metta Institute. He has lectured at Harvard Medical School, the Mayo Clinic, Wisdom.2.0 and teaches at major spiritual centers around the globe. Frank is the 2018 recipient of the prestigious Humanities Award from the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine. What is Zen? A Japanese school of Buddhism that emphasizes meditation and intuition. Suicide Hotline We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. 1-800-273-8255 Substance Abuse SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders. 1800-662-HELP. Let It Go, Idina Menzel, from Andy’s favorite film: Frozen (2013) Toxic Masculinity is what David hints at when he talks about the pressures men often feel in our current societal norms. Wikipedia says “The concept of toxic masculinity refers to certain cultural norms that are associated with harm to society and to men themselves. Traditional stereotypes of men as socially dominant, along with related traits such as misogyny and homophobia, can be considered "toxic" due in part to their promotion of violence, including sexual assault and domestic violence. The socialization of boys often normalizes violence, such as in the saying "boys will be boys" with regard to bullying and aggression.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxic_masculinity White fragility and oppression are described in this great resource: Robin DiAngelo, White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism (Beacon Press, 2018). The Princess Bride. Directed by Rob Reiner. 20 Century Fox, 1999. The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam ... And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva ... So tweasure your wuv. Olympic Judges: this is a surprisingly challenging occupation, our apologies to the Russian judges. https://www.bustle.com/p/how-do-you-become-olympic-judge-its-a-lot-of-work-8147511 Learn more about Andrew Chirch, David Greenson, and Jessica Shine DoneForPodcast.com

WE’RE BACK for SEASON TWO…. IT’S DONE FOR! EPISODE 1: This season, we've selected the book The Five Invitations by Frank Ostaseski. We jump right into episode 1 with the first Invitation: Don’t Wait. We’ll continue to circle back to our foundational questions: 1) What leads to a good death? and 2) What does that tell us about how to live a good life? Listen in as we continue the conversation, and tell us how you’re answering these questions. If you like this, tell someone! Please help us out by sharing it and spreading the conversation. RESOURCES: The Five Invitations (Flatiron Books, 2017) by Frank Ostaseski. Frank Ostaseski is an internationally respected Buddhist teacher and visionary cofounder of the Zen Hospice Project, and founder of the Metta Institute. He has lectured at Harvard Medical School, the Mayo Clinic, Wisdom.2.0 and teaches at major spiritual centers around the globe. Frank is the 2018 recipient of the prestigious Humanities Award from the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine. Frank's groundbreaking work has been featured on the Bill Moyers PBS series On Our Own Terms, highlighted on The Oprah Winfrey Show, and honored by H.H. the Dalai Lama. He is the author of The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully. The Chaplaincy Institute in Berkeley, CA is where the 3 of us met and began to share our stories. The Chaplaincy Institute is an Interfaith Community and Seminary that strives to create a just world that honors the sacred connection of all. Find out more at www.chaplaincyinstitute.org. “Churchianity” was actually a term Jessica first learned from the Rev. Dr Megan Wagner. ProgressiveChristianity.org is a global resource of open, intelligent, and collaborative approaches to the Christian tradition and the life and teachings of Jesus that creates a pathway into an authentic and relevant religious experience. Shower the People, James Taylor (June 1976) It turns out Jessica is way better at this than even she thought! Well, with the exception of re-writing this James Taylor classic with new words. Fundamentalism: despite the first three letters indicating an emphasis on ‘fun’, fundamentalism in many forms (religious and non-religious) can be damaging. We hope if you’ve experienced that kind of trauma, that you will share your story and continue to listen. Book Club Questions: One of our dear listeners (and Jessica’s BFF) wrote a guide for this season. Find it here: (link to pdf attached) Also, it turns out Frank has developed a guide that can be found at: fiveinvitations.com/book-club Atlas: The Atlas personality, drawing on the myth of the giant Atlas from Greek mythology upholding the world, is someone obliged to take on adult responsibilities prematurely. They are thus liable to develop a pattern of compulsive caregiving in later life. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlas_personality Female Playwrights: yeah, there are a lot of these David. Take your pick… an ditch the white dudes. Annie Baker, Lisa D’Amour, Sarah DeLappe, Margaret Edson, Liz Flahive, Amy Freed, Madeleine George, Rebecca Gilman, Gina Gionfriddo, DW Gregory, Danai Gurira, Leslye Headland, Amy Herzog, Quiara Alegria Hudes, Lucy Kirkwood, Young Jean Lee, Jennifer Maisel, Martyna Majok, Lynn Nottage, Antoinette Nwandu, Suzan-Lori Parks, Theresa Rebeck, Yasmina Reza, Sarah Ruhl, Laura Shamas, Lisa B Thompson, Lucy Thurber, Joyce VanDyke, Paula Vogel, Anne Washburn. Thanks to theatrenerds.com Anne Lammott first used the phrase “shitty first drafts” in her book Bird by Bird (1995) to emphasize why perfectionism can kill creativity. Learn more about Andrew Chirch, David Greenson, and Jessica Shine at DoneForPodcast.com

Hey there, The team at Done For is hard at work on Season 2. Meanwhile, can you help us share our mission of bringing this topic - Death & Dying - out of the shadows? Please share us with a friend and on social media. Doneforpodcast.com or on Twitter @doneforpodcast

We're getting really close! Here's a little something to tide you over until we launch. Presenting..... our season one trailer!

This episode, meet the hosts and get an idea what this podcast is all about. Just as important, find out what it isn't. We start our journey with two basic questions: 1) what leads to a good death? and 2) what leads to a good life? Listen in as we discuss our starting position, and, and tell us how you’d answer these questions. Here are a few disclaimers as we start this podcast: we aren’t experts, we haven’t died, we speak in cursory… meaning there is some swearing. If you’re down for that kind of a good time, subscribe and share our podcast! RESOURCES: Kübler-Ross, Dr. Elisabeth, On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families (New York: Scribner, 1969). Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, MD, [1926–2004] was a Swiss-born psychiatrist, humanitarian, and co-founder of the hospice movement around the world. Elisabeth authored twenty-four books in thirty-six languages and brought comfort to millions of people coping with their own deaths or the death of a loved one. Her greatest professional legacy includes teaching the practice of humane care for the dying and the importance of sharing unconditional love. Her work continues by the efforts of hundreds of organizations around the world, including The Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation: EKRFoundation.org. The Chaplaincy Institutein Berkeley, CA is where the 3 of us met and began to share our stories. The Chaplaincy Institute is an Interfaith Community and Seminary that strives to create a just world that honors the sacred connection of all. Find out more at www.chaplaincyinstitute.org. Titanic (1997,Paramount Pictures& 20th Century Fox) is the unfortunate example we use to illustrate how not to die. Our apologies if you’re a fan. And also, our condolences. Japanese vending machines- these things are real. https://kotaku.com/the-world-of-japanese-vending-machines-5988536 And also, why do we not have these in America? Learn more about Andrew Chirch, David Greenson, and Jessica Shine DoneForPodcast.com/about

This week we start with the first stage offered by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, namely Denial. What’s the difference between active denial and passive denial? Our template consists of two basic questions: 1) what leads to a good death? and 2) what leads to a good life? Listen in as we discuss this stage of death and dying. RESOURCES: Kübler-Ross, Dr. Elisabeth, On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families (New York: Scribner, 1969). Becker, Ernest, The Denial of Death (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1973). After receiving a Ph.D. in Cultural Anthropology from Syracuse University, Dr. Ernest Becker (1924-1974) taught at the University of California at Berkeley, San Francisco State College, and Simon Fraser University, Canada. He is survived by his wife, Marie, and a foundation that bears his name--The Ernest Becker Foundation. What is Hospice? During a terminal illness, you or your loved ones may talk with your doctor and decide the treatments meant to cure or slow a disease are no longer working, or you’re ready to stop them. Your doctor can make a referral for hospice care, also known as end-of-life care. Hospice provides a relief from pain, either caused by the illness or the symptoms. Early 19th century: from French, from Latin hospitium, from hospes, hospit-(see host). Most health care providers offer hospice, check with your local provider. Jackass(TV Series 2000-2002) Ironic, Alanis Morrisette, from David’s favorite album: Jagged Little Pill(1995) Learn more about Andrew Chirch, David Greenson, and Jessica Shine(hyperlink to either the DF website or various sites for our names?) DoneForPodcast.com/about

SHOW NOTES: This week we continue into the five stages offered by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, namely Anger. Is anger ever ok? Is it helpful? Our template consists of two basic questions: 1) what leads to a good death? and 2) what leads to a good life? Listen in as we discuss this stage of death and dying. RESOURCES: Kübler-Ross, Dr. Elisabeth, On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families (New York: Scribner, 1969). Thomas, Dylan, Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, (1947). Tai chi (taiji), short for T'ai chi ch'üan, or Taijiquan (pinyin: tàijíquán; 太极拳), is an internalChinese martial art practiced for both its defense training and its health benefits. It’s also a philosophy of the forces of yin and yang. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tai_chi) Kali is the Hindu goddess of death or deliverance, and one of Andy's all-time favorite people. https://www.ancient.eu/Kali/ Jesus’ anger materializes in the story of him overturning tables in temple, as recorded in the Christian sacred texts of Matthew 21:12-13 and Mark 11:15-18. Need an Interfaith Chaplain? You can find a few of our favorites by clicking on the Providers tab at www.chaplaincyinstitute.org. Tori DeAngelis, Cover Story, www.apa.org, http://www.apa.org/monitor/mar03/whenanger.aspx, 2003. Inside Out. Directed by Pete Docter. Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures, 2015. The Black Lives Matter Global Network is a chapter-based, member-led organization whose mission is to build local power and to intervene in violence inflicted on Black communities by the state and vigilantes. (https://blacklivesmatter.com/about/) The Five Invitations (2017) by Frank Ostaseski will be the focus of Season 2 of Done For. If you’ve already got this, yay for you. Learn more about Andrew Chirch, David Greenson, and Jessica Shine DoneForPodcast.com/about

SHOW NOTES: This week we wrap up Season 1 with our reflections and lessons learned. And we share a few warm fuzzies, so bring the kleenex! Stay tuned for a sneak peak into Season 2. RESOURCES: Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families (New York: Scribner, 1969). Ostaseski, Frank, The Five Invitations (Flatiron Books, 2017).

SHOW NOTES: This week we continue into the five stages offered by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, namely Acceptance. Our template consists of two basic questions: 1) what leads to a good death? and 2) what leads to a good life? Listen in as we discuss this stage of death and dying. RESOURCES: Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families (New York: Scribner, 1969). Rilke, Rainer Maria, Sonnets to Orpheus (Insel-Verlag, 1923). Star Wars is a beloved garden for plucking ripe illustrations in this podcast. It’s also an American-produced epic space opera franchise, created by George Lucas and centered around a film series that began with the 1977 movie. Roger Federer is a Swiss professional tennis player whom Jessica knows nothing about, except that he plays tennis. So, kudos to David for name-dropping a highly ranked men's singles tennis player. Lewis, C.S., The Last Battle (United Kingdom: The Bodley Head, 1956). I’ll Follow You Into The Dark, Death Cab for Cutie: Plans, 2005. Learn more about Andrew Chirch, David Greenson, and Jessica Shine DoneForPodcast.com/about

SHOW NOTES: This week we continue into the five stages offered by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, namely Depression. If you are feeling overwhelmed, please get help. We list resources below. Our template consists of two basic questions: 1) what leads to a good death? and 2) what leads to a good life? Listen in as we discuss this stage of death and dying. RESOURCES: Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families (New York: Scribner, 1969). Paint it Black, Rolling Stones, Aftermath (1966). Nova(stylized NOVΛ) is an American popular science television seriesproduced by WGBH Boston. It is broadcast on Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) in the U.S., and in more than 100 other countries. The serieshas won many major television awards. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nova_(TV_series). Dark Night of the Soul is a poem written by the 16th-century Spanish mystic and poet St. John of the Cross. The author himself did not give any title to his poem, on which he wrote two book-length commentaries: Ascent of Mount Carmel and The Dark Night. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Night_of_the_Soul). There are five stages to the Jewish mourning process: 1) Aninut, pre-burial mourning. 2-3) Shivah, a seven day period following the burial; within the Shivah, the first three days are characterized by a more intense degree of mourning. 4) Shloshim, the 30-day mourning period. 5) The First Year (observed only by the children of the deceased). (https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/291135/jewish/Shiva-and-Other-Mourning-Observances.htm). National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 Disaster Distress Helpline,1-800-985-5990 The Trevor Project, (866) 488-7386: A 24-hour depression hotline for suicidal LGBTQ youth. Gilmore Girls (TV Series 2000-2006) Learn more about Andrew Chirch, David Greenson, and Jessica Shine(hyperlink to either the DF website or various sites for our names?) DoneForPodcast.com/about

SHOW NOTES: This week we continue into the five stages offered by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, namely Bargaining. Find out why everyone needs an Abuela and when it’s time for your “Fuck-It” list. Our template consists of two basic questions: 1) what leads to a good death? and 2) what leads to a good life? Listen in as we discuss this stage of death and dying. RESOURCES: Kübler-Ross, Dr. Elisabeth, On Death and Dying: What the Dying Have to Teach Doctors, Nurses, Clergy and Their Own Families (New York: Scribner, 1969). Les Miserables is a French historical novel penned by Victor Hugo in 1862 and later made into a Broadway Musical, to which we refer, by Claude-Michel Schönberg and Herbert Kretzmer Ruach (Heb ‘breath’) is the force responsible for action according to one Jewish account of the creation of this world from the first book of the Hebrew Bible, known as the Tanakh, "Bərēšīṯ", "In [the] beginning”). Learn more about Andrew Chirch, David Greenson, and Jessica Shine DoneForPodcast.com/about