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Eurovision Division


Crunching the numbers. Judging the songs. Crunching our teeth. Judging each other.

Crunching the numbers. Judging the songs. Crunching our teeth. Judging each other.






Crunching the numbers. Judging the songs. Crunching our teeth. Judging each other.




2021 - Mira's Final Ranking

In which we talk about all 39 songs in this year's Eurovision Song Contest before this year's Eurovision Song Contest. Recommendations: • We've collected (most of) the songs we brought up on the podcast on this playlist:


2021 - Any% Playlist Speedrun

In this episode, we talk about plagiarism, nationalism, colonialism and various other isms. Mira makes fun of someone for crying, and then immediately starts crying herself. With "Follow the Tour Guide" as our final theme, we discuss Poland's "The Ride", North Macedonia's "Here I Stand", and finally, the Netherlands' host entry "Birth of a New Age". Recommendations/References: - “Man Made Object” by Lemon Demon > -...


2021 - Long Term Lovers

In this episode, we talk about easy recipes to make, the Neverending Story, and each other. Throughout the episode, Jeroen destroys every single segue that he sets up for himself. With “Long Term Lovers” as our theme, we discuss Georgia’s “You”, Spain's "Voy a quedarme", Estonia's "The Lucky One" and Iceland's "10 Years". Recommendations/References: • “Sea of Love” by Cat Power > • “True Love Will Find You In The End”...


2021 - But Your Aunt Is Having A Great Time

CW: self-harm/suicide (intermittently between 31:45-46:00) In this episode, we talk about staging ideas, we swivel rapidly, and Mira lusts after a contestant. Uncontrollably. With “Throwback Thursday” as our theme, we discuss Greece’s “Last Dance”, Finland’s “Dark Side” and Denmark’s “Øve os på hinanden”. Recommendations & references: * “This Is Telex” by Telex > * “Left Outside Alone (Anastacia Cover)” by Blind Channel >...


2021 - Name a Woman

In this episode, we celebrate women, history, and a birthday. With “It’s like… woman, you know, like… Woman!” as our theme, we discuss Australia’s “Technicolour”, Azerbaijan’s “Mata Hari” and Russia’s “Russian Woman”. Recommendations/References: • “Class of 2013” by Mitski > • “Drunk Walk Home” by Mitski > • Billy on the Street: Lightning Round > • “Agora” (2009), starring Rachel Weisz as Hypatia • “How...


2021 - The Moon Is Growing!

In this episode, we hold a candlelight vigil for Jim Steinman, talk about the politics of our neighborhood dog park, and, at long last: with the help of our personal trauma, we figure out a way to solve music. With “(blank) is (blank)” as our theme, we discuss Latvia’s “The Moon is Rising”, Portugal’s “Love Is On My Side” and Bulgaria’s “Growing Up Is Getting Old”. Recommended viewing: - “You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth” by Meat Loaf >


2021 - A Sexually Terrifying Aura

In this episode, we make uninformed statements about engaging in dance crazes, the origins of the phrase “Girl Power” and reality television dating programs. With “Stir Crazy” as our theme, we discuss Lithuania’s “Discoteque”, Serbia’s “Loco Loco”, Israel’s “Set Me Free” and the Czech Republic’s “Omaga”. Recommended viewing: - “The Sound of C” by The Confettis (Belgian New Beat) > - This incredible video of Hurricane laughing >...


2021 - Desperation Trumping Shame

In this episode, Mira finds an irreconcilable grievance that may stay with her for the rest of her life. After that, we get nostalgic. With “In Case You Haven’t Noticed, I’m Weird. I’m A Weirdo. I Don’t Fit In. And I Don’t Want To Fit In. Have You Ever Seen Me Without This Stupid Song? That’s Weird.” as our theme, we discuss Germany’s “I Don't Feel Hate”, France’s “Voilà” and Italy’s “Zitti e buoni”.


2021 - Let's Go Bargain Hunting, Yes?

In this episode, Mira attempts to flip the script but arrives woefully under-prepared. With “I Drive A Lovely Road” as our theme, we discuss The United Kingdom’s “Embers”, Ukraine’s “Shum” and Switzerland’s “Tout l'Univers”. Recommended viewing: • “As Your Father I Expressly Forbid It” by Lemon Demon >


2021 - The Bad Uncle

In this episode, Mira attempts to mind her language. We overcome some old prejudices and look at three performers who may or may not outclass their songs. With “A Show for All Ages” as our theme, we discuss Malta’s “Je me casse”, Sweden’s “Voices” and Belgium’s “The Wrong Place”. Recommended viewing: • “Tommy and the Whale” by Dorléac (Geike Arnaert & Spinvis/Eric de Jong) > • “Zoutelande” by Geike Arnaert & BLØF > • “Soldiers of...


2021 - Apps and Apologies

On today’s episode, we join three more artists on the lonely road towards Eurovision. After talking about animated movies, ballet classes and social media, we introduce a new segment: deciding which D&D class each performer should play. With “I Walk A Lonely Road” as our theme, we discuss Ireland’s “Maps”, Albania’s “Karma” and Croatia’s “Tick Tock” Recommended viewing: • Liz Callaway talks about meeting Meg Ryan > Follow us on twitter @eurodivision


2021 - Call Me By Your Magnified Name

We're not afraid to get a little religious on this show. Demons and angels alike rear their heads as we explore the duality of man. With "Demons and Angels All In One Have Arrived" as our theme, we discuss Slovenia's "Amen", Austria's "Amen", Norway's "Fallen Angel" and Cyprus' "El Diablo." Recommended viewing: • "Montero (Call Me By Your Name)" by Lil Nas X > • "We Magnify Your Name" as performed by Lecresia Campbell > • "I Would Do...


2021 - A Very Sweet Eurovision

A new year has dawned! Join us as Jeroen and Mira introduce themselves anew and get ready for 2021. Jeroen lists the 'themes' that will make up this year's episodes, and Mira proceeds to make her first choice. With "Hypoglycemia" as our first theme, we discuss Romania's "Amnesia", Moldova's "Sugar" and San Marino's "Adrenalina" Recommended reading: • "Everyone Is Beautiful, and No One Is Horny" by RS Benedict > Follow us on twitter...


2020 Wrap-Up Spectacular

Before diving into this year's hopefuls, we have some matters that need to be resolved. Follow us on twitter @eurodivision.


2020 - They're Engineers, Not Dancers

Well, folks. If you thought we'd be demoralized by losing a full episode, you're not wrong. However, if you thought we'd stay in hiding forever, guess again, because like Sanja Vucic/The Terminator said: "I'll be back". We are like that, because we too, are back. Join us for a happy 2021, as we continue to wrap up our discussion of 2020's obsolete tunes.


2020 - And Then The Dog Makes Noise

I need someone to explain why rumore the song "Fai Rumore" keeps making me cry rumore.


2020 - A Eurovision Carol

Well folks, you will be visited by three songs tonight! Three women with big voices will belt right into your face! (This is irresponsible, please wear a mask and keep your distance.)


2020 - Go To Couple's Therapy With Me

Join us as we unravel the mysteries surrounding these three songs, and we answer such fascinating questions as "How do you want me to talk like an Englishman?" and "What's more terrifying, space or the ocean?"


2020 - Been Here Before

Well, folks? Did somebody order a wake-up call?!


2020 - Top 10 Eurovision Betrayals

Well, folks... how've you been holding out for the past six months? You'd be forgiven for thinking we died, but turns out, we've survived. We've emerged from our little caves and we're ready to move on and let go of... all the bad things.