Your Parenting Long Game

One of the defining qualities of children with "big emotions" is that they have a hard time when things don't go their way. But explaining to them why they need to be more flexible doesn't seem to work, and it only frustrates them and us more! The good news is that we can help our children handle frustration and disappointment when we shift from telling children WHY they need to be more flexible to teaching them HOW to be more flexible. In this episode, you'll learn: --- Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/323-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

We want our children to feel respected, and we know that it’s important to connect with them and validate their feelings. But when they’ve behaved in an unacceptable way, it’s easy to wonder if, when you’re connecting with them, you’re letting them “get away” with negative behavior. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why our influence does depend on being able to balance both validation and firmness A simple formula (with examples!) to show our kids that we sincerely care about what they’re going through without condoning negative behavior --- Summary of this episode with examples: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/199 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/322-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

Changes and new situations – especially a new school year! – can create a lot of worry for our kids with big emotions. But no matter what the change is, or what their worries are, we can empower children to handle hard things. In this episode, you’ll learn: Simple steps to help kids get ready for a new school year (or any other situation that they’re nervous about) How to make it less likely that they’ll worry about changes and transitions How to help them feel more in control of situations that they are anxious about -- Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/198 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/321-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

Many children with big emotions can seem spoiled or entitled at times -- like they expect to get everything they want, all of the time. And even though it can be tempting to give in for the sake of family peace, there are better ways to help our children in these situations… so they can learn how to handle not getting their way in the future. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why kids with big emotions seem to always want more, more, more What we can ask ourselves to know if we’re giving our children what they truly need (or just want they want) One thing all parents can give their kids so they don’t keep asking for more -- Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/197 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/320-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

Despite the fact that they experience emotions very intensely, it’s very common for children who feel strongly to NOT want to talk about their emotions. But in order to address negative behavior, moods, and attitudes, we need to have these conversations! The good news is that using specific phrases will allow us to improve our influence with our children so they are open to hearing us, rather than trying to avoid us. In this episode, you’ll learn: The real reasons why our children tend to avoid talking about their emotions How to start conversations with our kids (without triggering their resistance) How we can help our kids handle their discomfort more effectively and maturely -- Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/196 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/319-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

We ask our children to do things all the time, and (of course) we assume that they know how to do what we ask. Why wouldn’t they? In reality, a lot of negative behavior stems from skills that children are missing – which means they actually don’t know how to do what we ask. In order to improve our influence and their resilience, all we need to do is teach them a few strategies for success. In this episode, you’ll learn: What actually stops children from doing what we want them to do How one simple shift can decrease our frustration and our exhaustion What it’s like to be a child who wants to do better… but can’t -- Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/195 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/318-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

It can be exhausting to parent children with big emotions -- especially when it feels like our efforts to improve behavior, moods, and attitudes take longer than we would like. Even if we understand (in our minds) that it takes time for our kids to learn how to deal with their discomfort and develop new skills, that doesn’t always make us stop wishing they would feel and act better more quickly! In this episode, you’ll learn: Why wanting things to go more quickly actually slows things down One question we can ask ourselves to change our perspective and our attitude (so progress does happen faster) The key to less frustration if children do take time to change -- Summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/194 Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/317-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

One of the most common reasons for big emotions in our homes is related to asking our children to get off of their devices. And let's be real: They DO have to learn to get off of their devices without acting like it's the end of the world! But most of the time, we attempt to make this happen makes things worse, not better. When we get into our children’s world, we can often understand why our attempts aren’t effective – and what we can do instead. In this episode, you’ll learn: What it’s like from a child’s perspective to have to get off of screens Why his parents’ (very logical) attempts to address his behavior don’t work How getting into your child’s shoes can help bring peace to your home --- Transcript of this episode: https://rachel-bailey.com/316-transcript/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

This time of year, navigating the use of screens can be a real challenge -- especially when you’re raising children with big emotions. The summer can start off feeling more relaxed, but then come the power struggles over how long children can be on screens and the meltdowns when they have to get off of their devices. Fortunately, a few simple changes can reduce the drama, even during those times when children are even more likely to turn to screens as entertainment. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why kids with big emotions struggle with screen time limits How to increase your influence to reduce screen time drama How to give your kids the skills THEY need to get off of screens more easily (helping them deal with transitions and boredom!) __ FREE 1:1 CONVERSATION: Want to talk to Rachel about what's causing YOUR screen time drama? Send an email to info@Rachel-Bailey.com with the word "Screens" in the subject line! Free summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/193 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

Of course we want our children to listen to us when we ask them to do what they’re supposed to do or when we ask them to act maturely in situations that don’t go their way. But often when we try to get our kids to listen to us, we do it in ways that actually decrease our influence. This is especially true when we try to get our children to see why we are right and they are wrong. Of course it’s not that we shouldn’t try to motivate better behavior! Rather, we can just do it in more effective ways. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why telling children what they’ve done wrong doesn’t lead to them doing what’s right Exactly how to approach your child to increase your influence Why this non-permissive strategy not only increases your influence, but strengthens your relationship -- FREE ASSESSMENT + 30-MINUTE CALL WITH RACHEL: https://rachel-bailey.com/call Free summary of this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/192 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

As parents, we want to be able to influence our children. And we can feel helpless and out of control when we try to help our kids feel or act better… and we can’t make it happen. One of the most common ways that we “leak” influence happens on a day-to-day basis in the way we ask our kids to do things and in the way we respond to their requests. Once you become aware of this leak, you can make a simple change and increase your influence immediately! In this episode, you’ll learn: Why some of our our requests and our responses immediately put our kids into fight-or-flight (and make them more resistant to us) An example that illustrates what this is like for your child that you will be able to relate to Simple strategies to increase your influence and improve your relationship with your child -- FREE ASSESSMENT + 30-MINUTE CALL WITH RACHEL: https://rachel-bailey.com/call Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/191 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

As parents, we want to be able to motivate our kids to act more responsible and handle situations more effectively. And we can feel helpless and out of control when we aren’t able to make that happen. Unfortunately, we will feel helpless and out of control because we often (unknowingly) “leak” influence by the way we think about and respond to situations. One of the most common influence leaks happens when we set unrealistic expectations and aren't even aware that we're doing that. In this episode, you’ll learn: How setting realistic expectations increases our influence with our children A simple question that will help you set expectations and handle previously-difficult situations more effectively The benefits (for us and our kids!) when we plug influence leaks -- FREE ASSESSMENT + 30-MINUTE CALL WITH RACHEL: https://rachel-bailey.com/call Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/190 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

We want to be able to influence our kids. We want them to listen to us, and we want to be able to calm them down so they can work through situations with less drama. So it can be challenging when our attempts to influence them don't work… or even make things worse! In this second episode of a two-part series, we’ll discuss what's needed to become a powerful positive influence with your children so you can bring more peace to your home, even if that seems impossible now. In this episode, you’ll learn: The type of influence we usually have with our children – and why it doesn’t motivate better behavior, moods, and attitudes The two qualities that you need if you want your children to listen more readily and calm down more easily What it looks like when you do improve your influence (even if your children don’t realize it’s happened) --- FREE ASSESSMENT + 30-MINUTE CALL WITH RACHEL: https://rachel-bailey.com/call Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/189 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/rachel

Most of us crave more calm in our homes. But what do we do when there is drama on an almost-daily basis and nothing we try makes a difference in our child’s behavior? Is it possible to reduce the drama and feel more confident in our parenting without damaging our relationship with our children? The good news is you can bring more peace to your family while increasing your children’s resilience and self-esteem. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why our current parenting strategies don’t change behavior, moods, or attitudes The differences between Band Aid Parenting and Long Game Parenting What our kids really need from us when they’re struggling (and the long-term benefits of meeting their needs rather than addressing negative behavior with punishments and rewards) Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/188 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

It’s natural to want our kids’ negative behaviors, moods, and behaviors to stop. But what happens when nothing we do seems to end the drama? How can we break out of the cycles of negativity? In this episode, you’ll learn: Why “quick fix” methods don’t help our kids feel better (and often make things worse) Why Yuck Dumps are NOT the same as wallowing, and how these Dumps actually build resilience Simple ways to help children release their negativity and frustration --- Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/187 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/ Live "make your plan" sessions: https://rachel-bailey.com/training/

We know it’s better to stay calm when our children have big feelings, but it seems like some days, we can only hold on for so long when they are complaining, crying, or melting down. How can we help our kids handle their discomfort when their behavior triggers our own Yuck? In this episode, you’ll learn: Why we need to set realistic expectations for our children What it looks like when we’re using willpower to stay calm (and why willpower never seems to last long enough) How to shift from artificial calm to genuine emotional regulation --- Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/186 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/ "Make Your Long Game Plan" live sessions: https://rachel-bailey.com/training/

Most of us have an idea of how we'd like to interact with our kids. But often when we're tired or frustrated, we don't react in a way that feels good. And when situations with our kids frequently spiral out of control, it’s natural to feel like we are failing at parenting! In this episode, you’ll learn: Tips that will help any time you feel like a failure One mindset shift that can reduce guilt immediately How simple steps we take can positively impact our kids --- Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/185 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

We talk a lot about BIG reactions when our kids have big feelings, but what about quiet, sensitive children who struggle when other people around them are upset? Often these children will do anything they can in order to make others feel better. To keep the peace, they will also disregard their own needs – even when we encourage them to stand up for themselves! In this episode, you’ll learn: Why many parenting strategies don’t work with our sensitive children (and may even make things worse) How to help our kids deal with discomfort -- without hurting their self-esteem How we can help "sensitive" children become confident, resilient kids who know how to advocate for themselves in difficult situations -- Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/184 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

When we’re raising kids with big feelings, it can be hard to stay emotionally regulated all of the time. How can we be the parent we want to be when it’s hard not to lose our cool? How can we teach our kids how to stay calm when we’re struggling with staying calm ourselves? In this episode, you’ll learn: Why we get stuck in a “cycle of Yuck” (and feel guilty and ashamed) How your ability to regulate yourself impacts your influence with your child A simple tool you can use in the moment to get unstuck - even when your children are complaining or melting down -- Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/183 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey Free training for parents with kids with big emotions: https://rachel-bailey.com/longgame/

We want our days to be filled with peace and connection, but those of us raising kids with big emotions know that’s not always the reality. Even when we try hard to fix the arguing, complaining, and general resistance to our requests, it can feel like nothing reduces the drama long-term -- and sometimes, it seems like our efforts are actually making things worse. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why some of your current parenting strategies may not be working, despite your best efforts The real reasons behind seemingly-unbreakable cycles -- and what to do about it! The lifelong benefits (for us and our kids) of breaking negative cycles for good -- Notes from this episode: https://rachelbailey68580.activehosted.com/f/182 Free coaching calls: https://rachel-bailey.com/coaching/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/RachelBailey