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Episodes

Ep. 56: MOUNTAIN DAN

8/8/2018
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He's got a big beard, a skillet full of beans, a loyal dog, and he's in an Airstream trailer in the middle of Montana. It's MOUNTAIN DAN, and his sidekick, METROPOLITAN MAUREEN. Together, they solve crime! Okay. They don't solve crime. They record podcasts. And in Dan's case, they do it sitting on the floor of the trailer, by tethering a phone to a computer. This is the most rough and rustic Says Who yet--the last, fullest expression of summer. Dan is out experiencing America. Maureen is...

Duration:01:00:14

Ep. 55: VLAD TO HAVE YOU

7/25/2018
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Every time Dan and Maureen say that too much has happened in the two weeks since the last episode, but this time they mean it, they really, really do. Because it has been too much. When you try to drill down into it, you find there is no it and no drill and you've just been falling while pretending to drill like a CHUMP. But that won't stop Dan and Maureen. Why would they stop? Or did they mean to say why wouldn't they stop? lol. That's a Trump joke. Everything is funny now. Obviously,...

Duration:01:00:13

Ep. 54: INTO THE WOODS

7/12/2018
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What's that sound coming from the trees? Why, it's Dan and Maureen, emerging in podcast form! Maureen was in England, doing more marriage things. She was in the English woods, where the WiFi is not so good. (Hence the delayed episode.) Dan is almost three weeks into his Airstream tour of America. So what have our travelers learned? Well, while Maureen was in England, it decided to fall apart. Brexit is not going well, and the government is splintering. England is also preparing for Trump's...

Duration:00:45:05

Ep. 53: THE DAY OF THE JACKET

6/27/2018
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Yodelheeehoooo! Put on your hat because it's time for another trip up Bullshit Mountain with your pals Maureen and Dan. Both Maureen and Dan have done good Life Things in the last two weeks, but news gotta new and it continues to break headlines and spirits. Maureen is now married. Dan is cruising around America in a sweet airstream trailer. Trump is ripping families apart. While this episode was being recorded, news of the Muslim Ban broke in, so there is real time reaction. How do we do...

Duration:00:58:11

Ep. 52: BRIDE OF SAYS WHO with Peter Sagal

6/13/2018
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DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG! It's WEDDING TIME at Says Who! Maureen is getting married and everything is fine. She has everything ready to go, nothing weird is happening in the world, and... Well, no. It's not exactly like that. But she is getting married. And so is guest Peter Sagal of NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! Peter drops in to talk about hoping, coping, and making the news funny when everything is a raging garbage fire. Oh, and weddings! Peter is getting married first, so he...

Duration:01:05:21

Ep. 51: THE DAYS OF OUR LIES

5/30/2018
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Summer summer summer! It’s here! Time for sand, sun, fun, and cooking s’mores on the dying embers of democracy and our sanity! Dan and Maureen convene once again to take stock of what is happening to all of our minds. Why, for example, is our President pointing at an Invisible Melania? How do we respond when we’re straight-up told that Spygate is made up? Whither the bag o’phones? Nothing makes sense. Which is why it’s time to choose our own summer adventure. Dan tells a story about...

Duration:01:01:07

Ep. 50: FIFTY SHADES OF SAY

5/16/2018
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It was never supposed to be this way. Says Who, the little eight-episode podcast, is now on its 50th EPISODE! FIFTY! Dan has returned from Disney and has tales of Dole Whip and the Haunted Mansion. Maureen did not go to Disney and has tales of being at home watching the news, which mostly means watching Rudy Giuliani do whatever it is Rudy Giuliani does. What have we learned over the course of 50 Says Whos? How are we coping? What would we tell our past selves? And how can we get a...

Duration:01:00:53

Ep. 49: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

5/2/2018
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Hey hey hey! It's the cast from the past! This week, Dan is at DisneyWorld and Maureen is not. Because Dan is at the Happiest Place on Earth, this podcast was recorded early. So you know things we don't! No spoilers! This episode, we answer your questions. How did we know Michael Cohen would be such a star? How do you get through the day when things get hard? Will Maureen's wedding be broadcast on PBS? What do we do first at DisneyWorld? So many questions. We'll tell you our answers, and...

Duration:01:00:22

Ep. 48: TAINT GOOD

4/18/2018
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Says Whovians, we've been waiting for this moment for all our lives. Mr "Says Who" himself, Trump lawyer Michael Cohen, burst into the news this week. And it wasn't just a one-and-done kinda thing. Nope, Maureen's original boyfriend came with all the plot twists and surprise reveals of a good mystery novel. Dan can barely even speak, Maureen's love is rekindled, and they both dig down deep to sort out the ups and downs of one of the most upside-down weeks yet. Good gravy. But then. Then...

Duration:01:01:34

Ep. 47: WORKIN FOR A LIVIN

4/4/2018
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Are you looking for work? Have you considered the White House? They've got some openings and don't seem to check qualifications, so why not. Maureen and Dan earn their podcast living today by looking at the recent upheaval at the White House and discuss the weird jobs that they've had that maybe make them just as qualified as the rest of these jokers. I mean, it couldn't be worse than working in a haunted restaurant right? Plus, Maureen and Dan take it to the maxx by talking about the...

Duration:01:00:11

Ep. 46: GOOD GRAVY

3/21/2018
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Dan and Maureen are sleepy. Very sleepy. They would like a nap. There has been too much 2018 this week. But in SaysWhovia, we sleep in 2019, at Disneyworld. What have we learned in the last two weeks? We learned that Rex Tillerson uses a toilet, that Trump's lawyers are the weirdest people in the world, that Russia is acting like a serial killer in a movie, that you don't fire a guy the day before he retires, and you never play games with Stormy Daniels. Also, Dan has a new catchphrase!...

Duration:01:01:38

Ep. 45: GET THEE TO SAM NUNBERGERY

3/7/2018
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What light is this? What strange sparks? Why, it is a train of goons! Goons! This week, Dan and Maureen gaze in wonder and awe at the universe of 2018. This two week period began with Marco Rubio getting nailed in his big, dumb face at the CNN town hall and it ended with a beautiful trail of sparks as one of the brightest lights in the sky flew past. Yes. Sam Nunberg, a.k.a. Mr. Maureen Johnson, entered our lives. We need to grab this comet by the tail and ride. Did other things happen?...

Duration:01:00:01

Ep. 44: A CASE OF THE WHOOPSIES IN THE PANTSIES with Ashley Feinberg

2/21/2018
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There's a lot to wrestle with these last couple weeks. There's the awful, heartbreaking news that came out of Parkland Florida. There's the surprise indictments by Robert Mueller. There's the continued awful sh*tposting from Trump in Florida. And then there's a news report that Maureen was perhaps born for: That the government is proposing creating a "Blue Apron-type program" to replace food stamps. How terrible an idea is that? Let Maureen take you there (if Dan will let her). In addition...

Duration:01:08:45

Ep. 43: IN MEMO-RIAM with Spencer Ackerman

2/7/2018
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Maureen and Dan have had a busy couple of weeks, not because they've been keeping up with the news--the memo stuff has admittedly been pretty confusing--but because they've been making things. Maureen has a book out and Dan just launched a Kickstarter and they spend some time talking about how hard it is to actually make things right now with the whole world amped up to 11. Come for the conversation about creation, stay for the dog completely losing her sh*t in the middle of it. Now about...

Duration:01:08:26

Ep. 42: PAGING DOCTOR CHILL M.D.

1/24/2018
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Maureen has been away on a tour for her new book and hasn't been keeping up with events. What has been going on? Dan has been keeping up with events from hospital waiting rooms and from his basement in Chicago and he is... not handling it well. It's been the most Trumpy two weeks of all time. What's on the menu? Shithole countries, fake photo ops, 22 minutes of trying to mute a call, a missile warning in Hawaii, MLK day spent on the golf course, Starburstgate, a cognitive test, a question...

Duration:01:01:00

Ep. 41: THE SAYS WHO BOOK CLUB with Eve Peyser

1/10/2018
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Greetings book lovers! Grab a bag of Big Macs and Fillets o Fish and join us over here in the book nook because things get pretty literary this week. First off Maureen has a NEW BOOK and you should pick it up. But Maureen's not the only author with a new book in stores, nope. Michael Wolff's Trump tell-allish Fire and Fury came out this week and Maureen and Dan forced themselves through it so that you don't have to. Really. You don't have to. Not the hoity-toity literary type? Don't worry...

Duration:01:06:30

Ep. 40: Potty Magnet New Years

12/27/2017
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Dan and Maureen come together by the fire at the end of December to ring out the old year and welcome the new (DEAR GOD YES PLEASE THE NEW). They show 2017 the door with much less patience than Maureen explaining the pee tape to her mother while at the bank, which, yes, happened. This because of a truck with a window decal that decidedly did not read "potty magnet". But this episode isn't just about shedding the curse of 2017, it's also about talking about what's been learned and how it's...

Duration:00:57:42

A SAYS WHO HOLIDAY GIFT: The 12 Days of Trumpmas

12/18/2017
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The official Says Who Holiday single has dropped. It's the 12 Days of Trumpmas, remixed and ready for your ears. Once in, it's never coming out.

Duration:00:04:44

Ep. 39: THE BLUE APRON HOLIDAY SPECIAL* with Parker Molloy

12/13/2017
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HO HO HOLLLLLY SHIT! We've almost made it through 2017, Sayswhovians! It's time for HOLIDAY CHEER! Let us sing songs, and feast, and count our blessings. Dan and Maureen are ready. Sort of. Maureen has flooded her apartment and Dan has a fever. But they're still ready to jingle all the way to the Alabama special election results! Or something! Look, there is singing. Just when you think it couldn't get more merry, Parker Molloy comes down the chimney to spread GOOD CHEER. We talk coping...

Duration:01:02:26

Ep. 38: KATAMARI DEMOCRACY

11/29/2017
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It's been a couple weeks since the last full-politics episode of Says Who and... a lot has happened. Life stuff, Trump stuff, good stuff, bad stuff--just lots and lots of stuff. So this episode, Dan and Maureen just roll it all up into a ball that keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger. How did Dan's Thanksgiving tacos turn out? It's in the ball! What was Maureen's sex-ed class like in high school? It's in the ball! Is Eric Trump the stupidest of all the adult Trump children? It's in...

Duration:01:04:41