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Share Your Gifts, Feel Happy

We went out on the town in Portland, Maine. I was going a little crazy with all of the unusual rain and clouds this summer. The RV gets pretty small when all five of us are inside with no sun in sight. The funny thing about this episode is that I totally changed the format of the podcast outline on Jon, and even during our pre-meeting, we were both on a different page entirely! He thought the story of meeting the two guitarists at the restaurant was just the pre-show banter, while I had...


Comparing Your Relationship on Facebook

Are you comparing your relationship on Facebook to other couples on vacation or celebrating a romantic night out? Yah, I can relate. I might snuggle into bed after finishing my evening chores and spot a Facebook notification on my phone. Which then leads into my endless and mindless scrolling. It can also lead to something I am really good at, comparing. It really depends on how mindful and peaceful I am at that moment on the effect the scrolling can have on me. Perhaps, I had a difficult...


Accepting Who We Are

Running in flip-flops in the rain is probably not the best idea. I fell down and then decided on accepting who I am. Jon talks about how he has learned to accept that he will always have ideas for songs to create, but may never really get around to creating that rock or Reggae hit. Some things are easier to accept about ourselves than others. It takes time to accept our deeper weaknesses and flaws as we become aware. I will remember my swollen knee the next time I decide to attempt flip-flop...


Safe Spaces for Loving Conversation

We cover three main ways to create safe spaces for loving conversation - decide your loving guidelines, choose a physical space and an emotionally safe space. Loving Guidelines Here is an example of the loving guidelines we have created. No yelling. No swearing. No blaming. No threatening divorce or abandonment. No leaving. No using what is shared to hurt the person in the future. Physical Space Considerations a space without distractions, TV or kids. set a time of day as a cut-off for...


Three Questions

In this episode of our marriage podcast Something Like Marriage, we ask three questions to learn more about one another. (Theme music: Ethan Anderson, Photo credit: Andre Benz) Stream "Three Questions" Podcast Gems: Asking your partner/spouse three questions can create a deeper connection. Your Next Steps: Join our free private Facebook Community Join our email list for new episodes and articles.


Sexual Anorexia in Marriage

This was a challenging episode for me as I describe living a secret life of shame and sexual anorexia in marriage. I had experienced sexuality that was unwanted and confusing when I was young. I had feelings of arousal, fear, and shame like Jon described on I Feel Uncomfortable Talking About Sex that I dealt with through repression. It was a way I could bury my thoughts and desires in a place where it would remain unconscious. As I walked through life, it seemed that there was something...


I Feel Uncomfortable Talking About Sex

I am going to be honest, I feel uncomfortable talking about sex. Sex was not really a topic we had practice talking about with anyone. While Jon was caught up in a cycle of abstinence and binging, I was in my own cycle of repression and avoiding. Jon's work in therapy was to begin talking openly about his sexual experiences and his guilt and shame about his sexuality. He found the practice to be freeing and healing. His dark secret and life with porn were now known, and he used the...


Why Do Men Hide Their Feelings or Do They?

Answering the question about why do men hide their feelings, and challenging this idea. We also relate how men and women are alike in not sharing their vulnerable feelings such as sadness, shame, guilt, and fear. Culture seems to have a role to play in what are acceptable emotions for a man to express. As children, we expressed a spectrum of feelings as emotional beings. When we were happy we screamed with delight, laughed, and jumped up and down. When we were sad we cried, had tantrums, and...


Letting Go of the Outcome

A good story from our own experience about letting go of the outcome. We took the family to Cedar Point, the roller coaster capital of the world! The favorite ride was Steel Vengeance, their new hybrid coaster built from wood and steel. I could get all carried away with the fun we had there, but it would be better storytelling for you to just listen. The theme park challenged me in so many ways from fear of heights too, yes, letting go of the outcome. Just like twisting upside down and...


Dealing with Anxiety Together

Both of us had high anxiety throughout our childhood and adulthood. We thought such high anxiety was a normal part of life. Our anxiety seemed to be motivated by people pleasing, insecurity, and wondering, am I okay? The world was uncertain and this was our coping. Jon and I experienced a period of time where we peaceful and then the anxiety came back with force when we decided to live in the RV. Then, we felt pressure on our chest, that stabbing pain in our backs. The experience really...


Learning to Talk About Sex

We have had quite the journey from having separate sex lives to learning to talk about sex. At the beginning of our relationship, we kept our sexuality to ourselves and crossed paths to have sex. We didn't discuss it or really share with one another our inner desires. I checked it off like another chore from my list of things to do and later learned of my disassociating during sex. Jon was afraid to share his sexuality and the secrets that surrounded it. A marriage crisis in 2008, motivated...


Finding Common Interests

Finding common interests as a couple can lead to more fun and adventure. Every relationship is like a unique fingerprint, with each couple deciding what they want their relationship to look like. Some couples have very different interests and live more independently, while others do everything together, or a balance of both. Sometimes our partners or spouses don't know it is our desire to connect and spend more time together. Also, we may assume things about one another that are untrue or...


The Challenges of RV Living With Kids

As with any lifestyle, there are also challenges of RV living with kids. Living in an RV has now become a familiar way of life for us, and there are times when the challenges of it all motivate our family to take a vacation from traveling in the motorhome. Fulltime RV living has been a loving choice for our family with the benefits outweighing the difficulties. Today, we talk about how we have adapted to life year round in a camper amidst the critters, freezing rain, and weekend cookouts in...


The Benefits of RV Living With Kids

There are so many benefits of RV living with kids. Our plan was to sell our life and live in a motorhome for only one year after the sale of our house. We soon realized that raising our children in a small space encouraged us to become more connected with one another. We were also having more fun! In the beginning, we thought the amazing places we visited would be the best part of our RV adventure but soon found that it was more about the people we were meeting. People from every walk of...


Why We Live in an RV

Giving you a glimpse of why we decided to try living in an RV full time with a family. We chose full-time RV living in January of 2011 to travel with our four kids in a motorhome. RV living with our family was motivated by a marriage crisis and our need to heal our family life. In 2008 our marriage fell apart, it was a moment in our lives where we decided to face the giants of fear and dig into therapy to save our relationship. It wasn't an easy journey, but it was a meaningful one that...


How Not To Suck When Talking To Your Sweetheart

No one wants to be bad at conversation, especially when we are all trying so hard to understand one another! In the past, we were not doing well with our conversations because we didn't really understand what each other really needed. Jon thought I wanted him to solve the problems I was sharing with him, while I just wanted to be heard and affirmed. I seem to process my days by talking, while Jon is more internal and needs questions to prompt him to share about his day. (Theme music: Ethan...


Embarrassment in a Relationship

How do you handle embarrassment in a relationship? Everyone handle's embarrassment differently. Sometimes we repress our embarrassment, get angry, or can laugh about what happened for years to come. The goal is to be able to talk about all emotions with your lover, including embarrassment. (Theme music: Ethan Anderson, Photo credit: Abigail Keenan) Relationship Podcast Gems: Sharing awkward moments with your lover can create deeper connection and intimacy It takes practice to share...


A Depression Story of Recovery

The process of recovering from depression began with my self-care. Recovery included medication, exercise, diet changes, and therapy. My husband also supported me during the journey by giving me perspective. (Theme music: Ethan Anderson, Photo credit: Yaoqi LAI) Relationship Podcast Gems: What brought sunshine into my life to help with my SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) was the goLITE. Medication was necessary for me to "put out the fire" and reset my thinking. Self-care became a priority...


What it's Like to be a Depressed Wife

I share with Jon what it felt like for me as I struggled with depression in our relationship, shame, and motherhood. The Baby Blues are what really tipped the scales of depression for me as a young mother. The hormonal influx after delivering my children would send me time and time again into a downward spiral of clinical depression. My moods were off, my thinking was gone, and I didn't want to get out of bed. It was after my third child that I started to have thoughts of ending my life. I...


Depression in Marriage

Depression has affected our relationship from the beginning. In this episode we share two viewpoints - how it feels to be the person suffering from depression and how it affects the partner/spouse in the relationship. Depression and Marriage Were Normal My depression became apparent to me after having children and my doctor named this sadness that I had felt since I was young. Depression had become such a normal thing in my life that it didn't feel like something I needed to get help for,...