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Savage Lovecast


Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit and get yourself a subscription.

Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit and get yourself a subscription.


Seattle, WA


Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit and get yourself a subscription.




Savage Lovecast Episode 813

A trans man used to be an escort before his transition. Now that he is hornier than ever on testosterone, he wants to try sleeping with gay men. But in his escorting days he would disassociate to get through the sessions. How can he learn to be more present in bed with cis men? A woman has started dating an older man. In sharing their secrets, he confided that he likes to cross-dress. She’s game to indulge him, but what does she need to know about it? In these dark times there is only one...


Savage Lovecast Episode 812

An Australian woman in her mid 20s fondly remembers the intimate online relationship she had throughout high school. She thought he was 20, and though they never met in person, they would chat well into the early hours every night. Recently, she became curious about what became of him. She learned that he was in fact 35 at the time, with a wife and kids. When she confronted him, he was self-pitying in his defense. This relationship was good for her at the time. But the lie is galling, and if...


Savage Lovecast Episode 811

“Help! I’m trapped with my very nice in-laws! “ An introverted woman loves her husband’s family dearly. But when they all descend on her house and stay for weeks with their kids and their dinners and their constant togetherness, she loses her mind. How can she carve out a little alone time without offending the herd? A lesbian connected with a super-hottie bisexual. They planned to hook up, but the hottie asked if they could get some video or pics and show to her boyfriend to turn him...


Savage Lovecast Episode 810

A man is excited to marry his beloved fiancé. But he harbors a corrosive secret. Early in their relationship he went to massage parlors for happy endings. He’s done with all that now, and feels terribly ashamed. But should he tell her? Does he owe her the truth? Can she handle the truth? Can he handle a lifelong secret? A woman used to have bad sex in her youth, with lots of unrequited blow jobs. Now that she’s with an attentive, loving boyfriend, she would like to give him toe-curling oral...


Savage Lovecast Episode 809

A gay man discovered that his friend had a nude photo of him on his phone. The caller had asked him to take the picture so he could edit it and send it to someone. But the friend kept the pic for himself and sent it to other people without the caller’s knowledge or consent. So. Can they still be friends? How bad is this? A queer woman has been on 2 dates with a gal, and they are getting along really well. The caller did a deep internet search and discovered that her date is in fact trans....


Savage Lovecast Episode 808

Mazel tov, you’re a new daddy! And by “daddy” we mean a queer, dirty-talkin’, older dom. A newly single bi man in his 40s suddenly finds himself with a bevy of young men who want him to play this role, and he doesn’t know where to begin. More semen please! A man wants to know if the various foods and supplements that promise to increase semen volume really work. On the Magnum, you should have seen the Tech-Savvy At-Risk Youth™ scurry around when we found out that Anna Sale was coming on the...


Savage Lovecast Episode 807

A woman discovered that her boyfriend cheated on her. How did she know? He washed his own sheets for the first time EVER. When confronted, (after lying at first,) he said that men need variety and monogamy is unnatural. Is this correct? A man and his husband now live apart because one of them didn’t want to live in the cold, dark, rainy Pacific Northwest. But they still love and miss each other so much. The caller feels like his house is a museum of their love, with objects everywhere to...


Savage Lovecast Episode 806

A woman and her husband are getting into group sex. The catch? She’s newly pregnant. Should she disclose this to participants? 4 years ago, soon after a woman got together with her boyfriend, in a fit of paranoia, he checked to see if she was indeed doing what she said she would be doing with some friends. When she found out about this, she confronted him and he apologized. He’s never done anything like this since and their relationship is good. Still. Should she dump him for this past...


Savage Lovecast Episode 805

Strap in (or on) for a wild ride folks, because this is the April Fool’s Day show. We asked you to send in fake calls and you came through in a big way. It is Dan Savage’s challenge to spot the phonies. A woman wonders how to help her friend dispose of his unwanted sex doll. Can he just take it to the dump? A man and his wife both got Fitbits. But now, when they have sex, they both immediately check them to see how they did from a fitness perspective! Some kinks explored on this show:...


Savage Lovecast Episode 804

A woman with teenaged kids has started seeing a man she’s known for a decade. It’s a dom/sub relationship, where she is the dom. Part of their arrangement is that she gets to date other people and he does not. She has always been transparent and open with her kids, but she hasn’t told them about this new relationship. Should she? A man has decided he never wants to bring kids into the world. But he’s eager to adopt and have a family. How and when can he explain this on his dating profiles?...


Savage Lovecast Episode 803

Gather round listeners, and hear the gruesome tale of a spit roasting mishap. A Ukrainian queer woman living in Canada is horrified and heartbroken that her Russian grandmother is not only homophobic, but pro-Putin as well. How do you maintain a relationship with such a person? On the Magnum, Dan chats with his old enemy, reformed Republican strategist Tim Miller from The Bulwark about Florida’s reprehensible “Don’t Say Gay “ bill. And finally! Dan offers THE definition of sex....


Savage Lovecast Episode 802

A man matched with a woman in an ethical non-monogamous relationship. She proposed they meet at a lifestyle club. He had never heard of lifestyle clubs before and wonders if this is an elaborate scam to boost the club’s membership. Is this on the up and up? A man started seeing a new woman, and it’s time to share his kinks. He is into cross-dressing. (Ho hum.) And wearing maxi pads. (Oh my!) How can he tell her this without scaring her off? Speaking of scaring people off…our What You Got is...


Savage Lovecast Episode 801

It’s pretty much the nightmare scenario. Her new boyfriend gave her a digital picture frame. She mischievously sent him a nude, not knowing that it would post to a whole network of his friends, including his conservative Evangelical Christian mother. She hasn’t met his mother yet. When the day comes, how can she look her in the eye? A brave woman has taken up being a Dom to men she meets online. They come to her house and the fun begins. But she hates the awkward chit-chat at the beginning,...


Savage Lovecast Episode 800

Hey everyone! Meet your new co-worker, and her …master. At the work party, the new gal showed up with her 24/7 master who fed her in front of everyone, the whole time. Now, the caller doesn’t want to be sex-negative or anything, but is this appropriate workplace etiquette? Next up! Do you like to crank them hogs? This widower had a rich, fulfilling sex life with his wife Barb, but she passed away. How can he find sexual fulfillment in his golden years? (And, Nancy has an important message...


Savage Lovecast Episode 799

Hoo boy do we have a goodie for you today. First off, a woman and her boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. They stay home, watch tv, play videos games and don’t have sex. When one of them tries to initiate, they both feel too silly to get in the mood. How can they get their mojo back? Our guests are Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson from the Guys We F****d podcast. Why we haven’t had them on the show sooner is a mystery to everyone. Dan and the ladies gab about dating younger...


Savage Lovecast Episode 798

Ah Valentine’s Day. This year, Dan will finally teach you how keep it spicy...very, very spicy. Let’s tuck in. Inevitable Divorce: A man with a history of divorce in his family was chatting with a friend about how he would consider marriage when he could afford to get divorced. But his boyfriend of 3 years overheard and now there’s hell to pay. A lesbian bought a delightful dildo to use on her girlfriend. But guess what. They broke up! Does our caller have to throw away the sex toy, still in...


Savage Lovecast Episode 797

A man regrets breaking up with his girlfriend. He always does this! He ends his great relationships because his expectations are too high. Would she consider coming back to him? Should he even ask? Erika Lust who is making waves with her ethical, woman-centered erotic films. She and Dan have a long convo on how porn is our default sex-ed, what porn made for women can be like, and how to consume porn thoughtfully and ethically. On the Magnum, a man has started dating a rather demanding...


Savage Lovecast Episode 796

That’s right, all of you who enjoy watching your partners sleep with others now are officially celebrated ALL WEEK LONG. And here at the Savage Lovecast, we’re delighted to take part. Venus Cuckoldress is on to talk about her podcast, and to advise a woman about her plan to have a gang bang on her wedding night. And there’s more on the big ole Magnum version of the show. Then, also on the Magnum, Dan chats with David Ley, who literally wrote the book on cuckolding- “Insatiable Wives: Women...


Savage Lovecast Episode 795

Oh no, it’s a three-way gone bad! A woman and her fiancé agreed to sleep with their friend. She set her very clear boundaries, and guess what? He and the gal broke them all in a triumph of cruelty and inconsideration. Now what? They have been together for 12 years. Can you imagine? A poly woman with a chronic medical condition has been attracted to a good friend for a while. The sexual tension is building…but she found out that not only is he unvaccinated, but he never intends to get the...


Savage Lovecast Episode 794

A happily married trans man came out to his mom. She didn’t take it well. She told him that if he changed his name it would kill her. Then she died. Now he is faced with a choice- should he use his former name at the funeral gathering, or use his true, current name? A married woman enjoys animalistic, primal, rough sex. Her husband is also gentle and sweet and affectionate. She loves both, but has a hard time transitioning from one style to the other. On the Magnum, Dan brings on Dr. Debby...