Hope for the Caregiver

Lt. Col. Oliver North, USMC, Ret. joined me for a special conversation about his life as a caregiver for his wife, Betsy. I sent the manuscript of my new book, A MINUTE FOR CAREGIVERS - When Every Day Feels Like Monday to Col. North's publishing company (Fidelis Publishing). The manuscript resonated deeply with Col. North - who is in his own difficult caregiving journey. He not only expressed a great desire to publish this book but also graciously offered to write the foreword - which I included below: Foreword by Oliver L. North The Mayo Clinic diagnosis wasn’t good—but at least we had one, instead of guessing. After returning from an assignment as an embedded correspondent and host of War Stories on FOX News, I believed Betsy—the half-century-plus love of my life; my best friend on earth; mom to our four magnificent adult children; “Nan” to our eighteen terrific grandchildren—must have had a stroke. Lots of people, including my own mother, recovered from strokes. Betsy will too, I hoped. I was wrong. After several days of carefully examining Betsy and countless images of her head and body, the extraordinary doctors at Mayo gently delivered their findings— verbally and in writing: “Your wife has a degenerative, asymmetric brain disorder called corticobasal syndrome . . . It is characterized by apraxia and rigidity on one side of the body . . . These symptoms are often accompanied by dementia and ‘cognitive disarray’ . . . As of now, it is incurable, and untreatable . . .” My initial reaction to this devastating diagnosis was, "Betsy, you and I have been through a lot together. We have so many things planned for our “Golden Years”! I’m a U.S. Marine; we’re a team and followers of the Miracle Worker, Jesus Christ!" We’re going to beat this evil malady. But we haven’t. Shortly after we returned home from Rochester, Minnesota, MajGen John Grinalds, USMC (Ret), and his wife, Norwood—dear friends since the 1970s when their examples led us to our faith in Christ—came to visit us. After listening to the diagnosis, John asked, “Who are you feeling sorry for, Betsy or you?” After thinking about it, I replied, “Me.” John nodded and said, “Your new mission, Marine, is become the very best caregiver Betsy will ever have on earth!” Thus, began for me, the most challenging physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual experience of my eighty years on earth. That was nearly five years ago. Despite many months of reading, listening to “coaches,” viewing countless videos, even keeping company with several thousand terribly wounded Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Guardsmen, and Marines—and their families—I was exhausted and adrift on how to be Betsy’s caregiver. Then, Peter Rosenberger sent his draft of this inspiring book. Finally, I thought, someone who knows what I’m going through. He’s been there, done that! A Minute for Caregivers is now my “go-to” primer for every challenge I face in caring for my best friend. If being a caregiver to someone you love is part of your life, you need this book. www.hopeforthecaregiver.com/book

My new book hits bookstores 5/31/2023. Each chapter offers 1-minute insights to help the family caregiver in THAT moment. Drawing upon a lifetime of caregiving, I speak to my fellow caregivers in a way that makes sense and settles their hearts down. I point them to safety. Order the book today at: Faithful Text Amazon Wal-Mart Barnes & Noble Or wherever books are sold.

In our ongoing series of helping caregivers stay safe, we tackle fighting a battle while trying to be something we're not. Plus, we delve into five common financial missteps.

Emily Boothroyd of Merrit Finacial Advisors (www.merritfa.com) called the program to share insights for caregivers when dealing with finances. eboothroyd@meritfa.com Sharing five things to avoid; two of them are: Listen to the whole conversation and feel free to reach out to Emily for any questions you may have.

So ...you want to get remarried, and you're being asked to sign a prenup? Have you considered having this conversation?

Practical tips on sharing your message on the air ...

A note from a Hope for the Caregiver group on Facebook prompted this monologue from our broadcast.

From the radio broadcast 04/22

Coming up with titles of books and articles that I write is never easy for me - here's how I came up with the title of my newest book and the celebrity that helped me.

From April 15-2023

I wrote a portion of this song in January - but finished it this week after the events at Covenant Presbyterian Church and the Covenant School. Gracie sang it Wednesday afternoon - and her heart broke as she sang these lyrics based in Psalm 102.

Some heartaches we face defy words - but words are not always required. In those moments, we groan, and "...grieve with those who grieve and mourn with those who mourn."

Our church home for many years, we watched with great sorrow to see the unspeakable tragedy at Covenant Presbyterian Church

I often encounter fellow caregivers struggling in horrific circumstances. And, I just as often unexpectedly encounter folks from all sorts of backgrounds who fight to find solid ground as caregivers. In this episode, I share some of those encounters and ask what your thoughts are about their circumstances - and what I offered.

Author John Eldredge. wildatheart.org

All too often, caregivers fly under the radar and are often overlooked. Even when seen, many don't know what to say. Sometimes, it's not about what you say, but how long you stay.

My friend Kathy Harris, ( www.divinedetours.com ) talks about her books and the writing process, the long career she's had in the Nashville music business, and her journey as a caregiver.

American Family Radio's Jim Stanley shares his thoughts on grief, sorrow, and ministry.

How many caregivers put their lives on hold until their caregiving journey improves or ends? Is that a good idea? I recently discussed something I am doing - while serving as a full-time caregiver, and invited fellow caregivers to do the same.