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No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery

Religion & Spirituality Podcas

I help you break free of shame and unwanted behaviors like porn addiction. Quitting porn is not so much about stopping the behavior itself, but discovering the underlying reasons you're seeking it out in the first place. In my porn recovery program, I teach you the reasons you became addicted, powerful methods to break free from porn addiction, and help you discover not only sobriety, but long-lasting peace.

Location:

United States

Description:

I help you break free of shame and unwanted behaviors like porn addiction. Quitting porn is not so much about stopping the behavior itself, but discovering the underlying reasons you're seeking it out in the first place. In my porn recovery program, I teach you the reasons you became addicted, powerful methods to break free from porn addiction, and help you discover not only sobriety, but long-lasting peace.

Language:

English


Episodes

Ep. 26 Can I Actually Learn Humility? | Porn Recovery Mindset

9/20/2023
Have you ever been told that addiction recovery requires humility? Do you wonder how in the world being humble could possibly help you quit porn? Perhaps hearing that gets your defenses up. Perhaps it fills you with anger. Or maybe you just don’t understand what it means to “be humble”. You try to humble yourself in order to overcome porn addiction, but you wonder what that really means?? Humility can be an ethereal and seemingly unattainable virtue. Afterall, if I think that I’m humble, I’m probably not…so, how do I become humble?... Well…I’m still working on that myself, so I really couldn’t tell ya. That said, I do think that we can talk about some perspective shifts and actions steps we can take each day that can help us learn humility, which will empower our porn addiction recovery. Why? Practicing having an attitude of humility in everything that we do will invite more of God’s light in. Without humility, God cannot get through to us. Our heart must be OPEN. This attitude enables us to learn, grow, and be open to help. If we aren’t humble, we simply won’t learn, and therefore we won’t be able to stop porn addiction. So, we aim to practice it in ALL that we do. Perspective Shifts that can help us learn humility and break free from porn addiction: I never know it allI know little when compared to the big pictureMy capacity to do good is only because of GodI rely on God for my sobrietyIf Christ relied on God in all things, why wouldn’t I?I accept weakness and insecurity and lean into itI often don’t know what I actually need. But God does. If I am fighting for sobriety, I am not in a recovery mindsetAction Steps that can build a humble attitude so we can get rid of porn addiction: Pray and readAsk others for helpAsk others for their advice, input, perspective, etc.Become part of a recovery group If we want to quit porn, it requires us to humble ourselves before God and Jesus Christ. This doesn’t mean that God is up there demanding our submission or wanting us to feel ashamed of ourselves. Rather, God knows that the only way for us to overcome unwanted behaviors is to live according to the ways of truth and peace. He wants us to be humble so we can learn, progress, and overcome our addictions. He wants us to experience freedom, peace, and joy and that is why He asks us to be humble and give our life and will over to Him. When we do this, we lay down our defenses and resistance that prevent us from recovering from pornography addiction. “I’m either at war with God, or I’m at war with myself. If I weren’t, then I would feel peace.” - Anonymous DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you overcome porn addiction Defining Addiction and Recovery PDF Porn Recovery Coaching for Christians Other Episodes: Living with Honesty and Accountability Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning No More Desire

Duration:00:36:08

Ep. 25 Living by Honesty & Accountability | Break Habits of Porn Addiction

9/13/2023
Today we’re going to talk about something that I have been historically very bad at - both during and after my addiction to porn. It’s honesty and accountability. This is something I’ve been working a lot on in my own personal recovery - getting more REAL and honest with myself, God, and others about my pain, my feelings, my insecurities. It’s what I teach my clients to do in my porn addiction recovery program. Not being “honest” from a place of self-pity, victimhood, or superiority. But from a place of humility, openness, and vulnerability. When we’re an addict, we can get in the habit of telling lies. And most of those lies may not look that bad - they’re justifications, rationalizations, half-truths, stretching the truth. They’re defenses, or even “standing up for ourselves” when we think we’ve been wronged. These lies are not just about our pornography addiction. They’re about everything - mostly about those things that cause us to feel: ShameFearInsecurityInadequacyTo overcome porn addiction, we’ve got to start being HONEST with ourselves, God, and others about these feelings. We need to stop hiding from them, and start leaning into them and moving through them with our Savior Jesus Christ. “Honesty comes from seeing and accepting things as they really are. Accepting that I need God’s help, that He can help me, and that I am worthy of saving. When I start lying, being deceitful, or diving into my addiction it is because I don’t want to accept reality. The reality of my pain, my insecurity, and that God is always available to guide me through.” - Anonymous You can break free of porn addiction, my friend. But first you must learn to be honest and open in every part of your life. It’s not about confessing to slips or relapses with porn. It’s about being REAL about the challenges, hardships, and difficulties in your life. As you do this, you remove the roots of your addiction. DOWNLOAD THE FREE PDF: Living by Honesty & Accountability DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you overcome porn addiction Defining Addiction and Recovery PDF Porn Recovery Coaching for Christians Other Episodes: Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning Porn Ruined My Sex Life: How Can I Fix It? I Had a Relapse with Porn | What Do I Do Now? Can People Pleasing Fuel Porn Addiction? More Episodes No More Desire

Duration:00:41:45

Ep. 24 Decrease Porn Cravings Using Pleasure Conditioning

9/6/2023
FREE LESSON: Pleasure Conditioning - Decrease Porn Cravings To overcome porn addiction, we need to understand how our other daily choices and activities affect our susceptibility to addiction. My first few years recovering from porn were a real struggle. If I would have known the concepts of pleasure conditioning way back then, I would have had an easier time quitting porn. Here’s the basic idea: The more I engage in one type of pleasure or another, the more "conditioned" I become to that type of pleasure. So, the more frequently I engage in base pleasures, the more I’ll desire them; even negative pleasures, which the brain can find enticing. Similarly, the more I engage in meaningful and peaceful pleasures, the more I will desire those instead. What are these types of pleasures? Porn addiction recovery is not about battling cravings and temptations - it’s about setting up a physical, mental, and spiritual environment in which we don’t face as many of those cravings. Base pleasure activities make us more susceptible to pornography addiction). We talk about what these specific activities are in the episode. Meaningful and peaceful pleasures make us less prone to cravings for porn. We find meaning in what we do when it fosters growth and/or blesses others. The more meaning we experience in life, the less we desire base pleasures, including addictive behaviors. We overcome the need for these not by simply stopping them, but by replacing them. A life of high stimulation, instant gratification & constant distraction fosters mental chaos, depression, anxiety, and darkness. If we want to stop watching porn, we need to give our mind time to rest and be still. We seek serenity amidst mundanity & pleasure in simplicity. Sobriety emerges in mental peace. That peace requires us to practice silence & presence. DOWNLOAD THE FREE LESSON: Pleasure Conditioning - Decrease Porn Cravings DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you Overcome Porn Addiction OTHER EPISODES: Porn Ruined My Sex Life: How Can I Fix It? I Had a Relapse with Porn | What Do I Do Now? How What You Eat Impacts Addiction | Learn How to Quit Porn Others Before Self | Recovery Mindset More Episodes No More Desire

Duration:00:56:40

Ep. 23 Porn Addiction Ruined My Sex Life: How Can I Fix It?

8/30/2023
Do you feel like your porn addiction has ruined your sex life with your spouse? Do you worry that your feelings about sex will never be the same? Is porn a point of serious contention between you and your wife / husband? Porn addiction can do a pretty serious number on our sex life.Watching porn trains our brain to view other people as objects. Despite our best efforts, sex with our spouse (instead of being a connective, intimate experience) can become an objectifying, means to an end. We don’t like to talk about this. But the reality is that our sexual relationship - even when it is within the bonds of marriage - can be affected PERMANENTLY because of our pornography addiction. And that includes after we quit porn - even YEARS later. This can feel very discouraging; like we’ll never be the same because of the effects of porn use. But there is hope. In this episode we talk about: How and Why Pornography Addiction Affects Sex in Real Life How We Can Talk With Our Wife / Husband About Our Struggles How We Can Train Our Brain to View Sex in a More Positive, Connected Way DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you Overcome Porn Addiction Personal Coaching for Porn Recovery More Episodes: Can People Pleasing Fuel Porn Addiction? How What You Eat Impacts Addiction Religious Shame and Pornography Addiction I Had a Relapse with Porn | What Do I Do Now? More Episodes No More Desire

Duration:00:39:33

Ep. 22 Can People-Pleasing Fuel Porn Addiction?

8/23/2023
Can People-Pleasing Fuel Porn Addiction? In today’s episode we talk about what people-pleasing is, where it comes from, and why many addicts struggle with people-pleasing tendencies. What is People Pleasing? How Can People Pleasing Cause Porn Addiction? Pornography addiction has almost ZERO to do with manly urges, sexual cravings, or sexual obsession. Breaking free of porn has little to do with stopping the behavior itself, and far more to do with overcoming the underlying mental, spiritual, relational, and even physical causes of porn addiction. We seek out porn addiction for a reason. That reason has everything to do with our mental state, i.e. negative feelings of shame, fear, inadequacy, etc. that we are experiencing on a daily basis, and perhaps more importantly our desire to resist and escape from these negative feelings. People-pleasing is the desire for others to think well of us - we want to do things that impress others or make them see us in a positive light. This can cause us to: How Many People Struggle with People Pleasing Tendencies? It is extremely common for people to struggle with these tendencies to varying degrees. It’s nothing to feel ashamed of. But simply to: What is the difference between pleasing others and being a “People-Pleaser”? How Can I Break Free From Porn Addiction and Overcome People-Pleasing? Learn more about how to stop watching porn: DOWNLOAD MY FREE EBOOK to help you Overcome Porn Addiction Other Episodes: Religious Shame and Pornography Addiction I Had a Relapse with Porn | What Do I Do Now? More Episodes No More Desire

Duration:00:31:45

Ep. 21 Religious Shame and Porn Addiction

8/17/2023
Download my FREE EBOOK to Overcome Porn Addiction Religious shame and porn addiction go hand-in-hand. Why? Because they are two sides of the same coin. We often see addiction as an isolated incident: an issue all its own. We think that if we can just abstain from porn then we’ll eventually lose our desire for it. We also think, “If I just have enough sex with my wife, then I won’t want porn.” After nearly a decade of my own recovery, and working with other addicts, I can tell you that both of these lines of reasoning are false. Why? Because the underlying reasons for shame (the belief “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t match up”) are the underlying reasons for addiction. Shame leads to addiction. Pornography addiction is not simply caused by “manly urges”, lust, impulsivity, or being a “pervert”. These have very little to do with the addiction. Today, we’re going to discuss the root causes of both porn addiction and religious shame, and how we can work through them. How Religious Shame and Porn Addiction Develop Many of us are under the impression that engaging in our addiction causes us to feel religious shame; to feel that God is displeased with us, and that we are unworthy in His eyes. But this religious shame did not begin with the porn addiction. It started long before that - during childhood for most of us. Growing up we believed that we needed to earn God’s love. We were taught that God only favors the righteous, and so if we wanted to receive His help, we needed to do everything exactly right and only then would He lend us a hand. This led to a dark and twisted view of God and His opinion of His children. We saw God as an egoic, self-centered God, filled with jealousy and wrath. And this belief system led us to feel more and more fear and unworthiness. These feelings then caused us to seek out destructive behaviors as a form of self-fulfilling prophecy that confirmed our low opinion of ourselves, and gave us a cheap means of escape from the torturous thoughts we faced. The religious shame came before the porn addiction, and the porn addiction perpetuated the religious shame. Download my FREE EBOOK to Overcome Porn Addiction I relapsed on porn, what do I do now? Overcoming Shame Habits and Building Empathy Porn Addiction and Perfectionism No More Desire

Duration:00:25:40

Ep. 20 I Relapsed on Porn. What Do I Do Now? | Learning to Walk Through Fire

8/10/2023
FREE LESSON: Write Your Walk Through Fire Statement When I was addicted to porn, I often struggled to know how to respond to a relapse. The amount of shame, fear, and anger I felt when I slipped was overwhelming. I thought that if I relapsed on porn, it meant all of my progress was now down the toilet. I thought, “What reason do I have to stop watching porn now? Afterall, my time clean is zero. So, why not just give in for a while?” Working with other addicts I sponsor and coach has shown me that I was not the only one who felt this way after I relapsed. People often tell me after a slip that they feel like giving up. After a full year of sobriety, one addict recently told me after he relapsed, “I’m just having trouble finding my meaning again. I don’t know why I should stay sober. I know I want to, but I just don’t feel the drive to stay clean like I did before.” I could not tell him how much I understood those feelings. I had been there many times after relapses. The will to go on wanes, as the momentum you previously experienced dies down. Getting it going again is painful. But it can be done. When you relapse on porn, it is easy to feel like giving up and giving in. I understand that feeling, as it happened to me so many times as an addict. One of the things I came to find out after years of sobriety is that this mentality of giving up was not exclusive to my porn recovery alone. I practiced this type of hopeless thinking in multiple areas of my life. It was not until I began changing my mindset - from an addiction mindset to a recovery mindset - that I started to experience more success staying clean. Here are some reasons we may feel like giving up when we have a slip with porn: Dopamine DrainQuestioning WorthLosing MeaningFearing Pain We’ll address these four points in this episode. If you’ve relapsed on porn, my prayer is that these teachings will help get you back on track. Download the FREE LESSON: Write Your Walk Through Fire Statement Free porn recovery ebook Check out the Podcast Porn Addiction and Perfectionism How to Let Go of Shame and Porn Addiction Still the Mind & Break Free From Porn Addiction No More Desire

Duration:00:33:46

Ep. 19 Others Before Self | Recovery Mindset

8/3/2023
If you struggle with porn addiction, ever wonder where your cravings come from? Addiction cravings are not simply due to “manly urges” or a genetic predisposition. They are a result of our mental state. Having a recovery mindset is all about leaning into discomfort. It’s also about changing your focus. In this episode, I share one of the greatest tips to overcome porn addiction that I know of. It’s not a magic pill, but it certainly does make a difference. I remember how hard it was for me to quit porn. I tried so many different things to stop - filters, willpower, not thinking about it, accountability buddies. Some of it helped, but nothing taught me how to get rid of porn addiction completely. Today, I talk about how to undo stress, improve mental health, and overcome a specific habit that is driving you to your addiction. For more porn addiction help, be sure to like, follow, and rate this podcast! Learn more about my porn addiction recovery coaching program Download my FREE PORN RECOVERY EBOOK Porn Addiction and Perfectionism How to Let Go of Shame and Porn Addiction Overcoming Shame Habits & Building Empathy | Porn Addiction's Emotional Effects No More Desire

Duration:00:23:54

Ep. 18 How What You Eat Impacts Addiction | Learn How to Quit Porn

7/25/2023
Have you ever wondered if what you eat affects your addiction cravings? In today’s episode, I’ll tell you how what you eat impacts addiction - more specifically porn addiction and your ability to quit porn. In western biology and psychology, we often overlook the importance of nutritions effects on mental health. More and more, we are coming to understand the connection between digestion and gut health and the health of our brain. In this episode, I explain why this is - including information on the gut microbiome, micronutrients, and certain plants that can help with mental health and porn addiction recovery. Learn more about my porn addiction recovery coaching program Download my FREE PORN RECOVERY EBOOK Check out the Podcast Porn Addiction and Perfectionism How to Let Go of Shame and Porn Addiction Overcoming Shame Habits & Building Empathy | Porn Addiction's Emotional Effects No More Desire

Duration:00:45:37

Ep. 17 Stop Resisting Your Addiction | How to Break Free of Porn

7/19/2023
What if I told you to stop resisting your pornography addiction? What if I told you that sobriety didn’t require you to restrain yourself? In today’s episode, I talk about how to break free of porn addiction without resisting cravings. The mistake I’ve watched so many of us make, and that I made for over a decade (still do sometimes), is thinking that the answer to quit porn is to resist urges. When cravings come, we get in the habit of fighting, distracting, forcing ourselves not to think about it…None of these are the answer. There is a better way that involves far less stress. I’ll tell you how to stop watching porn in a way that doesn’t require willpower. P.S. Soon I’ll be launching my new coaching program. This program includes: To join the waitlist, shoot me an email: jakebagm@gmail.com Still the Mind and Break Free From Porn Addiction How to Overcome Shame Habits Porn Addiction and Perfectionism Living with Simplicity and Presence No More Desire

Duration:00:34:56

Ep. 16 Still the Mind & Break Free From Porn Addiction

7/11/2023
If we want to break free from porn addiction, we have to learn how to still the mind. We go to porn as a way to escape our problems. The same is true for all addicts. One of the main reasons we do this is because our minds are so noisy and chaotic, and it seems that intensely pleasurable outlets are the only things that will dampen the constant mental thrumming that pushes us to addiction. Throughout the years that I was addicted to porn, my mind was such a loud and stressed place. I felt like I could rarely get a break from my worries. My emotions were volatile, negative thinking was constantly in my face, and anxiety and depression were always just around the corner. As porn addicts, we use constant distraction as a way to elevate our mood. We attempt to drown out the stress and negative emotions through TV, movies, video games, junk food, loud music, social media scrolling… you name it, we use it. We do this to cope with stress; to soften the mental thrumming that wills us to give in to our destructive behavior. But we fail to realize that constant distraction only increases the frequency and intensity of the beat. If we want to stop watching porn, we need to change our strategy. One of the things I didn’t understand as an addict (and truth be told I’m still learning it), is that constant distractions and stimulation were exactly the opposite of what I needed. I thought that things like TV, food, entertainment, and video games would satiate my need for pleasure. I thought if only I could experience enough fun and enjoyment, my desire for porn would decrease. How wrong I was. This was did not and never would help me overcome pornography addiction. I was trying my best to cope, and I thought that pleasurable activities were the key. My mind believed that distracting itself from the pain and insecurities I held inside would help me feel better. In truth, the very same tendencies and mental mechanisms that told me to use porn were the ones that influenced me to seek out constant entertainment as well. If I wanted to recover, I had to find a new way of coping - a new way of living. Instead of distracting myself, I needed to engage. Instead of facing away from my problems, I needed to face towards them. Instead of seeking out constant stimulation, I needed to be still. Free Recovery Guidebook Download Blog article for this episode My porn addiction recovery story Living with Simplicity and Presence Porn Addiction and Perfectionism Overcoming Shame Habits No More Desire

Duration:00:30:30

Ep. 15 Empathy and Porn Addiction: Overcoming Shame Habits

6/13/2023
Sometimes we as addicts have troubles looking outside of ourselves. We may experience difficulty listening to others' troubles and being present for their physical or emotional needs. This is not because we are inherently selfish, but because our past trauma and shame habits can make it hard for us to connect with others and look outside of ourselves, thus leading to unfortunately selfish acts, such as porn addiction. Empathy and addiction do not coexist very well. This can be a hard truth for many of us addicts to face, but until we do we cannot change. We hold a lot of fear and shame inside, in other words we are afraid that the bad things that happened in the past - neglect, betrayal, failure - will happen again, and we question our worthiness of love. We get stuck in an endless cycle of detachment and anger, rather than facing the underlying feelings of insecurity and unworthiness (shame habits) that follow us around everywhere we go. We addicts desperately want those around us to feel loved and cared for. We want to be good and do good. It’s just that our own insecurities get in the way, and we don’t know how to overcome them; to get out of the cycle of fear, shame, and addiction that leads to selfish acts. It’s not that we’re selfish, just temporarily damned in our progression, much as scripture states sinners are “damned to hell” - trapped in a cycle of suffering until we experience a fundamental change of heart through voluntary humility and God’s grace. To feel true empathy, we addicts must find a new way of thinking and acting. Our own selfishness will continue to bar us from meaningful relationships until we can humble ourselves enough and be self-compassionate enough to put down our “shame-shield” that blocks us from love, and realize that we and those around us are all worthy of love in God’s eyes. Download the FREE Roots of Addiction Guidebook. Read about Addiction and Perfectionism. Why I Became Addiction to Porn and How I Quit. 15 Tips for Porn Addiction Recovery No More Desire

Duration:00:47:22

Ep. 14 Perfectionism and Porn Addiction

6/7/2023
I’ve been giving a lot of thought to addiction and perfectionism lately. About how alike these two mental illnesses are. I’m going to tell you how perfectionism and porn addiction feed off of each other, and how all addictions, to an extent, find their origin in guilt and shame addiction - something you may have never heard of. Both porn addiction and perfectionism have something in common, and that’s that they both originate in guilt and shame. This guilt and shame can become alluring to “the natural man” (the pleasure-centered brain). It can come to crave it over time. Feeling shameful or guilty about a bad behavior is not what motivates an addict to stop. In truth, it is the shame and guilt that drive us addicts to engage in our addiction in the first place. (Don’t try to make sense of our addict brains - God knows we certainly can’t!). Perfectionism feeds off of this guilt and shame, just as pornography addiction does. And because perfectionism increases stress, it can cause us to feel a need to cope in unhealthy ways. What Porn Addiction and Perfectionism Have in Common Perfectionism, I think, lingers in most of us. It comes in different forms and is centered upon different subjects depending on the person: work, school, relationships, etc. But while it may be varied, essentially perfectionism is the belief that making mistakes causes us to be unworthy of love. When we are perfectionistic, we avoid mistakes at all costs, or refrain from admitting to our weaknesses, because we believe that others would reject us if they knew we were flawed. The saddest part is, if we were open about our flaws, most people would love us more for that honesty. Not less. Perfectionism is simply guilt and shame taken to the umpteenth extent. We feel shame and guilt so often and so intensely growing up, that it becomes a part of our personality. This is similar to pornography addiction. We escape to porn because we are unwilling to face our insecurities, flaws, and trauma. We don’t want to let others in, as we know from experience that letting others in can get us (or them) hurt. We don’t want people to see our mental and emotional pain, because we believe these broken parts of us make us unworthy of love. So, at the end of the day, perfectionism and addiction come from the same root: the fear that we are not enough. This is shame. “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies.” - Psalms 18:2-3 Get my free Roots of Addiction Guidebook. Blog article for this episode. Read my blog article on Living with more simplicity and presence. Checkout my addiction recovery podcast on Spotify or click here for other ways to listen to the podcast. No More Desire

Duration:00:42:53

Ep. 13 Living with Simplicity & Presence | How to Let Go of Shame & Porn Addiction

5/3/2023
Today I want to talk about how to let go of shame and porn addiction and how living with more simplicity and presence can help us recover. Something I’ve witnessed in myself and others I’ve talked to is that those of us who get worked up over the details or are really hard on ourselves often struggle with pornography addiction. I often see perfectionism and addiction go hand-in-hand - in other words a propensity to expect too much of ourselves and to feel very worried about mistakes - I know I’m that way and it drove much of the addiction in my life - maybe you can relate. So, I want to talk more about how this works - why we get so worked up over little things and how this leads to addiction. And then to talk about how we can stop doing this so we can start working out of addiction. Because addiction, at the end of the day, is not about stopping the behavior - it is about changing your mental state by working through emotional obstacles, feeling more peace, and becoming closer to God and those around us. For more pornography addiction help, learn the keys to quit porn with this free Porn Recovery Guidebook. Or listen to my Addiction Recovery Story. Much love. Blog Article for this Episode No More Desire

Duration:00:35:41

Ep. 12 Learn How to Stop Watching Porn with This Powerful, Unique Approach | 4 Keys to Quit Porn

3/28/2023
If you want to learn how to stop watching porn, you need to understand the addiction and recovery trinities. Porn addiction has several causes that play off of each other. They are physical, mental, spiritual, and relational. If you want to quit porn, you need to know what each of these are, how they work, and why it is so hard to break free of porn addiction. I learned how to stop watching porn 8 years ago. It doesn't mean that I never have challenging thoughts or that I don't still deal with cravings from time to time. The difference now is that I understand addiction, and I have the tools I need to work through mental illness and other difficult experiences. In this video, I will teach you how to do this too. Guidebook for quitting porn (FREE DOWNLOAD): https://www.becomeagoodman.com/ Private Facebook Group : https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomeagoodman 5-Month Program: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/no-more-desire-course Other Courses for mental health and addiction recovery: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/courses Blog article: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/post/learn-how-to-stop-watching-porn-with-this-powerful-unique-approach-4-keys-to-quit-porn No More Desire

Duration:00:26:50

Ep. 11 The 2 Root Causes of Porn Addiction & the 3 Solutions for Porn Recovery

3/14/2023
What are the 2 root causes of porn addiction? Knowing these can help you quit porn, as you learn what leads to it in the first place. To learn how to break free of porn addiction, it's necessary to talk about stress. Our mental state is like a pressure gauge. When it's in the green, we typically don't experience porn cravings. When it's in the red, however, we can last for a while, depending on who we are, but when we are in a heightened state of unchecked stress long enough, we almost always begin experiencing cravings. This is why we need to know the root cause of porn addiction - the two emotions that drive negative feelings and trigger us to view porn. If we want to stop watching porn, we also need to know the root cause of porn recovery, right? Because it's not enough to simply know what causes addiction. We also need to know how people stay sober long-term. What is their secret?... In this video, I share the 2 emotions that underlie porn cravings, as well as 3 things that keep us clean and sober long-term... Guidebook for quitting porn (FREE DOWNLOAD): https://www.becomeagoodman.com/ Private Facebook Group : https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomeagoodman 5-Month Program: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/no-more-desire-course Other Courses for mental health and addiction recovery: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/courses BLOG: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/post/the-2-roots-of-porn-addiction-vs-the-3-elements-of-porn-recovery No More Desire

Duration:00:32:25

Ep. 10 Anxiety Meditation 1 | Christian Meditation for Mental Health

3/2/2023
This Christian meditation for mental health comes from years of my own meditation practice and integrates teachings from both eastern and western faiths - Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, and Taoism. This anxiety meditation is also helpful for depression, self-worth or self-esteem issues, or to simply calm the mind. TO EXPERIENCE THE OTHER 4 MEDITATIONS IN THIS COURSE, CLICK HERE: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/the-anxiety-meditations God bless. Explore other addiction recovery and mental health meditation courses Explore the 5-Month Recovery Program Join the Private Facebook Group to help you quit porn Download my free ebook & audiobook with tips on quitting porn YouTube: https://youtu.be/wY_mvahrrdE No More Desire

Duration:00:18:30

Ep. 9 Why I Became Addicted to Porn & How I Quit

2/7/2023
I’m going to tell you why I became addicted to porn, and what kept me addicted for 10 years. It had nothing to do with craving sex, or “manly urges.” Porn addiction has to do with your state of mind. Porn addiction recovery is about transforming that state of mind from one that is susceptible to addiction to one that isn’t. The answers may not be easy, but some of them are simple. And while I can’t wave my magic wand or tell you “3 secrets that get you sober permanently”, I do have some advice and information I hope will help you in your journey. Join the Private Facebook Group to help you quit porn Download my free ebook & audiobook with tips on quitting porn Explore the 5-Month Recovery Program 15 Tips for Porn Addiction Recovery The Addiction/Fear Cycle | Where Pornography Addiction Comes From To hear my full Porn Addiction Recovery Story, click here Why People Become Addicted to Porn If we are trying to stop watching porn, or seeking to understand a loved one who is addicted, we need to know that porn addiction has very little to do with the sexual act itself, and far more to do with getting a “fix”. Research shows that pornography physically changes the brain. We can’t get the same “dopamine hit” during normal sex that we can during a session with porn. Why? Think about the novelty that porn offers; the number of different partners and new experiences available at the click of the button. Think about how quickly someone can go from 0 to 100 with one of those “partners” in an instant… Is any of that like having sex in a real relationship? How can sex in real life possibly compete? Porn addiction becomes addictive in part because it outdoes any sexual experience the human brain is meant to have. In addition, it is addictive because of the amount of shame that is often involved in the experience, which I’ll talk more about soon. Why I Became Addicted to Porn As a kid, I was high-strung, perfectionistic, and somewhat impulsive. I felt stressed out much of the time and had so much inner intensity that I simply didn’t have the skills or understanding to deal with. I also had low self-esteem, and, more importantly, a low sense of self-worth. I didn’t believe I was worthy of good things. I had negative self-talk and was worried others didn’t accept me. In my experience, this is quite common for those with addiction. Whether that be an addiction to porn, sex, cocaine, gambling, or some other “drug of choice”. As a kid, I sought out video games and junk food as a way to cope with all of the stress I was facing. These helped me self-soothe, albeit ineffectively and temporarily. When I was 13, I then sought out porn as a way to cope. I didn’t know that I was high-strung or stressed out. To me, it was just normal life. These negative feelings fueled my need for a “fix”, just as they do for others I have worked with and observed. Shame and Porn Addiction From the No More Desire

Duration:00:25:37

Ep. 8 How to Quit Porn in 30 Days | 15 Tips for Porn Addiction Recovery

1/31/2023
I'm going to tell you how to quit porn in 30 days using 15 tips for porn addiction recovery. You probably know I’m not a fan of big, bold claims, but… After 8 years of sobriety, I’ve learned a few things about how to quit porn. Secrets for porn addiction recovery that have helped me out…and now I want to share them with you. I know your “hype detector” is probably sounding the alarm right now. I’m not here to tell you that I have all of the answers, nor do I think that quitting porn in 30 days is a realistic endeavor. BUT… I do believe that you (just like I did) can get a really excellent start for porn recovery in as little as 30 days. A start that will help you get clean for months…and then years. It’s hard to avoid porn these days. It is so easy to access, and there are so many things we face that don’t make it easy to avoid the temptation. I’ll give you 15 tips that are different from most of the buzz going around. Secrets that are genuinely helpful, some of which you may never have considered. So, here are my 15 tips to help you stop watching porn…and start your recovery within 30 days… 5-MONTH PORN RECOVERY COURSE: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/no-more-desire-course PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP FOR ADDICTION RECOVERY: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1352257385317746/ FREE EBOOK & AUDIOBOOK WITH 3 SIMPLE METHODS FOR RECOVERY: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/free-ebook Blog: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/post/how-to-quit-porn-in-30-days-15-tips-for-porn-addiction-recovery YouTube: https://youtu.be/3C2Px54PQDg No More Desire

Duration:01:03:10

Ep. 7 [Meditation] Calming Forgiveness Meditation | Guided God Centered Meditation | The 7 Steps of Unconditional Forgiveness

12/22/2022
Listen to this calming forgiveness meditation to learn how to forgive others and yourself. Forgiveness is not for the benefit of others. We do it to release ourselves from emotional burdens. When we forgive someone else, we set ourselves free. The meditation music in this guided God centered meditation is designed to bring peace to the mind as I take you through the 7 Steps of Unconditional Forgiveness. I developed this 7 Step process using ancient teachings of Eastern and Western Faiths. Let go of the past, find self forgiveness and forgiveness for others, and invite God into your mind and heart. For more MENTAL HEALTH MEDITATIONS go to: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/meditations Learn more about the 7 Steps of Unconditional Forgiveness used in this God centered forgiveness meditation: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/post/forgiveness-how-to-break-free-of-porn-addiction Blog: https://www.becomeagoodman.com/post/calming-forgiveness-meditation-the-7-steps-of-unconditional-forgiveness YouTube: https://youtu.be/2QVKzH2p1qU No More Desire

Duration:00:25:06