Pure Desire Podcast

In this eye-opening episode, we’re joined by Lisa Thompson, Vice President of the National Center on Sexual Exploitation’s Research Institute. We delve into the complex and often misunderstood connection between pornography and sexual exploitation. We explore how the consumption of porn fuels industries that profit from human trafficking and exploitation, and the psychological, relational, and societal consequences of widespread pornography use. We discuss the legal gaps that allow these harms to persist, and what policies need to change to protect vulnerable individuals. We also tackle the role of social media and mainstream platforms in spreading exploitative content and the accountability measures that should be in place. Parents and caregivers will gain insight into the significant impact pornography has on children and teens, with practical advice on how to safeguard their well-being. Resources: Get The Barna Report NCOSE Website GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

In this eye-opening episode, we dig into the complexities of the adult entertainment industry, shedding light on the personal stories often hidden behind its glitzy façade. Rey Jordan, a counselor with experience working with individuals in the industry, shares her insights on the real-life struggles that lead people to seek counseling and the trauma that shapes their experiences. We discuss the pathways many women take into the adult industry, the societal narratives that fail to reflect their true stories, and the ways in which pain and trauma shape their journeys. This conversation challenges the popular belief that adult performers are simply making a "choice," and explores the damaging cultural assumptions that perpetuate this mindset. The conversation touches on how the public’s view of pornography and the adult industry could change if people understood the deeper realities behind it. We discuss how people in recovery can use their healing to create positive change, and offer advice for those wanting to make a difference in the lives of those affected by the adult entertainment industry. Tune in for a powerful discussion that will change the way you think about these difficult issues. GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

Today we’re celebrating episode 400 of the Pure Desire Podcast! So we did things a little differently. We talk through the most memorable episodes, the most surprising guests, and Nick’s most unique opening song. We also share a couple testimonies from listeners personally impacted by the podcast. Then, we mix things up by doing a listener’s Q&A. We answer questions about: lying during the recovery process; why sexually acting out feels so personal to the betrayed partner; what the Superhero’s Odyssey revealed; how to equip the Church to reach teens; and more. GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we tackle the challenging yet crucial topic of reintegrating sex into a marriage after betrayal. Rebecca Vander Meer and Traci Wright, two Pure Desire Clinicians, share why this is such a struggle for many couples and the common mistakes that can hinder progress. From rushing the process to overlooking emotional intimacy, we explore what couples can do to overcome these obstacles. The conversation also highlights key strategies that successful couples use—such as open communication, mutual respect, and taking things step by step—to rebuild a healthy and fulfilling physical connection. Join us for an honest and insightful discussion on navigating this sensitive journey together. GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we delve into the emotional journey of couples healing from betrayal. We’re joined by Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, relationship experts and authors, who share insights from their work on the Intimacy Pyramid—a framework designed to help couples rebuild trust, connection, and intimacy after a betrayal. We explore the different stages of healing, from honesty and emotional safety to full intimacy, and how this process varies for betraying spouses, betrayed partners, and the couple as a whole. We discuss common roadblocks couples face and how they can overcome them. Matthew and Joanna offer practical steps couples can take right now to start healing, as well as encouragement for anyone who feels stuck or hopeless on their journey to restoration. Resources: The Raabsmith's Website FREE 30 Day Honesty Guide GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Dan Allender, renowned author and counselor, to discuss the themes of his latest book: The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight. Dan shares the inspiration behind writing it and offers powerful insights into strengthening marriages. We explore key questions such as: What does it mean to truly honor your spouse? How can couples resolve conflicts without one partner feeling submissive? What role do past wounds play in shaping our present relationships? Dan also discusses how shame, judgment, and resentment hinder intimacy, and how Christians can use therapeutic skills to foster connection. Join us for an enlightening conversation on love, vulnerability, and healing. Resources: The Allender Center The Deep Rooted Marriage GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we dive deep into the transformative concept of "rupture and repair" in parenting with expert Dr. Jake Porter. As a featured expert in the Parent Training Course, he unpacks the crucial role this process plays in building stronger, more resilient relationships between parents and children. We explore what happens when emotional ruptures occur—whether through misunderstandings, miscommunication, or outbursts—and how parents can recognize when their child feels disconnected or hurt. Dr. Jake shares practical insights on how to approach repair with vulnerability, empathy, and emotional presence, offering concrete strategies for parents navigating the complexities of connection and healing. Tune in for actionable advice, relatable stories, and expert wisdom on fostering deeper bonds with your children through the process of rupture and repair. Resources: Get Our New Parent Training Course Daring Ventures Dr. Jake Porter's Website Dr. Jake Porter's Youtube Channel Dr. Jake Porter's Instagram GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

In this episode, we tackle one of the most pressing concerns for parents today: protecting children from the dangers of pornography. Kristen Jenson, author of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures, shares her inspiration behind writing the book and her mission to help parents guide their young children through the complexities of online content in a way that is age-appropriate and effective. We discuss the concept of "porn-proofing" children, which was explored in Pure Desire’s new Parent Training Course, and why it's more crucial than ever for parents to take an active role in safeguarding their kids from harmful material. With many parents feeling overwhelmed by the task of guiding their children through the digital landscape, Nick, Heather, and Kristen provide practical advice on how to approach these tough conversations with confidence, compassion, and love. Whether you're just starting to think about these issues or are already deep in the process of "porn-proofing" your children, this episode offers essential tools and insights for every parent in today’s digital age. Resources: Parent Training Course Kristen's Organization Get 'Good Pictures Bad Pictures' DYM on FB DYM on LinkedIn FREE Counseling Consultation GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

Join us as we explore the intersection of faith and sexual health education, with expert insights from Dr. Glen Maiden on how to approach teaching children about sex from a biblical perspective. As a biblical sexual health educator, Dr. Glen shares how to approach this sensitive topic with children in a way that honors faith-based values while promoting healthy, balanced views of sexuality. We discuss how to introduce sexual health teachings to children, both from a practical and scriptural standpoint, and how biblical principles can shape these conversations. We discuss how parents can break free from unhealthy or shame-based approaches to sexuality, especially if they grew up in environments where sex was stigmatized or misunderstood. You'll learn how to talk about sex in a way that avoids instilling shame or fear, and instead, encourages healthy, respectful attitudes toward their bodies and relationships. For parents who feel uncertain or overwhelmed by these conversations, this episode offers compassionate advice on how to approach the subject with confidence and grace. Resources: Dr. Glen's Website Hope XP App On Google Play Store Parent Training Course Parent Training Trailer GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

In today’s episode, we dive deep into one of the most important—and often most uncomfortable—topics for parents: talking with your kids about sex. We’re joined by Rodney and Traci Wright, authors of How to Talk With Your Kids About Sex and the primary speakers in Pure Desire’s new Parent Training Course. We tackle key issues like how to address our own sexual health as parents, the challenges of today's media landscape, and how to adjust these conversations as children grow. We also discuss common fears parents have, such as whether talking about sex too early might encourage risky behavior—and why, in fact, it can help prevent it. This conversation goes beyond the biology of sex and emphasizes the emotional, spiritual, and relational aspects that are just as critical to discuss with kids. You'll hear how trust plays a crucial role in keeping the lines of communication open and what parents can do if they've missed early opportunities to talk about sex. Resources: Full Episode on Youtube Parent Training Course Parent Training Course Trailer Rodney & Traci's Book GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

Navigating healthy relationships with teens can feel overwhelming, especially in a culture full of conflicting messages about identity and sexuality. In this episode, we explore how to raise kids with a biblically grounded and holistic view of sexuality. Drawing from Sheila Wray Gregoire's new book, She Deserves Better, this conversation offers practical tools and transformative insights for parents, youth leaders, and anyone invested in guiding the next generation. Whether you're teaching boundaries, addressing purity culture's impact, or fostering open and respectful conversations, this episode equips you to build healthier relationships and a stronger foundation of faith. Perfect for parents, mentors, and anyone committed to shaping a future of integrity and connection, this discussion encourages you to approach these challenges with wisdom and grace. Resources: Full Episode on Youtube She Deserves Better Sheila's Website GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

Happy New Year’s Eve! In this special year-end episode, host Nick Stumbo and guest co-host Heather Kolb dive into the value of self-reflection as we close out one year and prepare for the next. Whether you’re in the middle of a recovery journey, pursuing personal growth, or simply looking for practical ways to start the new year with purpose, this episode has something for you. Nick and Heather discuss why self-reflection is vital, not just at the end of the year but throughout our lives. They explore how pausing to look back can help us uncover insights about ourselves, our relationships, and our faith, and how those insights can inform our steps forward. Learn practical tips for identifying priorities, setting achievable goals, and inviting God and others into the process. Tune in for practical wisdom, heartfelt encouragement, and a few laughs as we look back on the past year and step boldly into 2025. Resources: Full Episode On Youtube GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

Resources: Full Episode on Youtube Unwanted by Jay Stringer GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

Sam Black, the author of The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography and How to Fix It and the Director of Recovery Education at Covenant Eyes, joins the podcast today to wrap up an 8-part deep dive into the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, Nick, Ashley, and Sam explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report. Resources: Full Episode On Youtube Order ‘Beyond The Porn Phenomenon Now!’ Barna Website Sam's Book Covenant Eyes Covenant Eyes Resources GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

According to Beyond the Porn Phenomenon, women are 3x more likely to say porn use of a partner makes them feel that their spouse doesn’t care about them. Dr. Barbara Steffens helps break down why porn use connects so acutely to the relationship for women, shares advice you would give to create change, and why pornography use by one spouse is not a marriage issue but rather an issue that impacts and wounds the marriage. Dr. Barbara Steffens, the founding President of the Association for Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. Resources: Order ‘Beyond The Porn Phenomenon Now!’ Barna Website Get Dr. Barb's Book Dr. Barb's Website APSATS Website GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

Carol Juergensen Sheets, better known as Carol the Coach, joins the podcast today in part 6 of our deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon. Carol helps us unpack some of the specific stats that impact relationships and gives insight into how the church can support betrayed partners. Nick, Ashley, and Carol discuss how this research can raise awareness, spark new conversations, and guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode exploration into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report. Resources: Carol's Website Carol's Books Order ‘Beyond The Porn Phenomenon Now!’ Barna Website GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

In part five of our deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon report, we’re joined by Crystal Renaud Day. She is the CEO and Founder of Living on Purpose, as well as the Founder and Executive Director of SheRecovery. Crystal joins the podcast today to share her insights on the new data on pornography use, its impact on young women who struggle, and how this equips the Church to be a safe place for healing. Together, Nick, Ashley, and Crystal explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and providing real hope for healing. This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report. Crystal's Website Order ‘Beyond The Porn Phenomenon Now!’ Barna Website GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

In part four of our deep dive into the Beyond the Porn Phenomenon report, we’re joined by Dr. Sean McDowell to discuss the subtle dangers of denial and rationalization around pornography within Christian communities. Dr. McDowell shares insights from his years of research and experience in helping the church engage with this difficult topic. We address questions around why so many feel “comfortable” with their struggles, the vital role of recovery ministries, and how the church can create a compassionate, welcoming space for true transformation. Join us for a conversation that sheds light on a subject too often left in the shadows. Dr. Sean McDowell is a renowned professor, author, apologist, and a contributing voice to Beyond the Porn Phenomenon. Resources: Sean's Youtube Sean's Website Think Biblically Podcast Order ‘Beyond The Porn Phenomenon Now!’ Barna Website GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

Dr. Juli Slattery a clinical psychologist, author, speaker, and the president/co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, joins the podcast for part three of our series looking at the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, Nick, Ashley, and Juli explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. Resources: Order 'Beyond The Porn Phenomenon' Java With Juli Podcast Authentic Intimacy Website Barna Website GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)

Daniel Copeland, Senior Lead Researcher of Barna Group, joins the podcast today for the second episode in our 8-part deep dive into the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, they explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon features the voices of people prominently featured in the report. Resources: Full Episode Video (YouTube) Order 'Beyond The Porn Phenomenon' Barna Website GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)