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Ernest Shackleton Please Love Me

In what may be the final episode in our polar exploration kick, Sarah watches the Broadway musical "Ernest Shackleton Loves Me," featuring Ernest Shackleton skype-calling a single mom in the 21st century, crawling out of her refridgerator, and talking about his dick size. So basically, Sarah's ideal musical. Also featuring bad passwords, Critical Role, and yes, as always, The Terror.


Ernest Shackleton Did Okay, Considering

Ernest Shackleton has big dick energy, and Sarah is here to prove it. With his 69 dogs and his salty seamen, our boy Ernest proved that it is in fact possible to get famous for how badly you almost fucked up. Amelia reads Shackleton's memoir, while Sarah reads a selection of other Shackleton-related books, including children's stories and a manual on how to run your business like you got shipwrecked in Antarctica. Note: we ran into some technical issues with Sarah's mic near the end of the...


John Carpenter's The Thing

In keeping with our ongoing theme of polar horror, Sarah and Amelia watch John Carpenter's gooey vore masterpiece "The Thing." Featuring the raw erotic energy of MacReady's perpetual cowboy hat, discussions of practical effects vs CGI, and a brief digression on what opiods do to your poop. It's mostly relevant.


Who Goes There by John Campbell

Bet ya'll thought we were done with the Arctic, huh. This week we read Who Goes There by John Campbell, the novella which inspired three different movie spinoffs including John Carpender's The Thing. We talk about the pros and cons of classic sci-fi, which Jane Austen character would die first in the Arctic, and the expansive isolation of polar horror as a genre. Most importantly, we pitch our own movie adaptation of this novella: as a tentacle jetpack erotica romp as written by Isaac Asimov.


The Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

​This week, Sarah and Amelia read The Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi; and shocker of shockers, actually manage to have a semi-intelligent discussion on subverting versus embracing tropes, the nature of YA lit, and the importance of representation. Also, a serious question masquerading as a bit about whether or not you're allowed to keep a person's necrotic toe if it falls off in your presence. Like if they don't want it or whatever. Or if they don't call dibs. Seems like you...


The Terror 2: Yet More Terror

Listen, we say “don’t go to the Arctic” a fair amount on this podcast, but we just can’t help ourselves. This week we revisit our first book to discuss the AMC series The Terror which Sarah has not seen and has no interest to, and Amelia has watched twice, sobbing the entire time. Featuring things they changed from the book (including a welcome tweak to the backstory of our favorite little cannibal god king), sweet and sick facts about lead poisoning (like the fact that everyone in 19th...


The Martian by Andy Weir

This week, Mark Watney gets off—of Mars. And Amelia makes that stupid joke twice. We read Andy Weir’s novel The Martian and cover some super relevant topics, like Dragonball Z and Yu-Gi-Oh (but also like, the Curiosity rover and how to grow potatoes in a desolate wasteland). Also, this is Amelia’s first week back on the road living that glamorous #vanlife, and boy does she have a story to tell about backwoods campsite shower hygiene. Specifically, a horror story.


When You Wish Upon a Car

This week, Sarah and Amelia write the book on wilderness survival--literally. In a special episode in honor of Amelia leaving on her latest expedition, we're re-reading our old trip diaries from our very first road trip together, back when we were hapless fools who had yet to learn of the glory that is a two-burner propane stove. Aside from figuring out how to properly pee in the woods, Sarah worked through the aftermath of a tragedy that transpired during her senior year of college, and...


Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie

Revenge against an imperialist empire is a dish best served with a side of swashbuckling. It's everyone's favorite space-opera, Ancillary Justice! Sarah and Amelia talk about sentient space ships, cool gender stuff (guest starring another discussion of The Left Hand of Darkness because we just can't help ourselves), and... Pontius Pilate. Naturally, there is some singing involved.


Minisode - Alien V Predator

AVP is not only a cinematic masterpiece, it is also the lesbian magnum opus of 2004. Watch this movie with your third eye open and you too will see the truth: the Predator is a beautiful lesbian who falls in love at first sight with badass ice-explorer Lex Woods. Also featuring: Weylin should know better, sticking your hand into an alien sarcophagus is Bad Archeology, and as we keep saying, guys, don't go to the Arctic. Ant- or otherwise.


The Three Body Problem by Liu Cixin

Sarah and Amelia aren’t 100% clear about the difference between particle physics and witchcraft, but they give hard sci-fi their very best shot as they read The Three Body Problem by Liu Cixin this week. Including a crash course on the Chinese Cultural Revolution, how to survive the world’s worst video game, and speculation on the effectiveness of using the full immersion suit to have cybersex with Galileo.



Old wounds are reopened this week as Sarah and Amelia viciously fight over who which of them is the classiest and most devoted disciple of Ursula K Le Guin--and then swerve into a tangent about Mickey Mouse's sexual practices two minutes later. But mostly this is an episode about gender, politics, and surviving on an alien planet where the temperature rarely gets above freezing. And also, which piece of fanfiction deserves to be broadcast via ansible to the stars.


Minisode - Annihilation

In which Sarah and Amelia aren't destroying this episode, they're just making it new--because their first version got messed up and they had to record it twice. Featuring hot takes on the new Annihilation movie, like the fact that Nataie Portman is a twunk not a twink, and lockets are relevant again. Also, a disturbing look into Sarah's bear fetish, horrific photos Amelia had printed at CVS, and the hit sci-fi writer "Oscar Isamov."


Area XXX

Catch our episode on Jeff VanderMeer's novel Annihilation in preparation for the movie! Sarah describes how the Destroy of Worlds starfish is puking its own stomach onto the coral reefs, and it's only the fourth most horrifying thing we talk about this week. Sarah also invents a fun new word.


The Hot-Hot-Hot Zone!

This week, Sarah and Amelia fantasize about an alternative ending to Richard Preston's nonfiction work The Hot Zone wherein the Ebola virus in Reston actually does decimate their whole hometown, at last solving the problem of Northern Virginia traffic. Amelia spreads disease all through Europe. Sarah invents Bacteria Jesus. At no point do we say "Here's out hot take on The Hot Zone", or quote the Celebrity Jeopardy skit that Amelia wouldn't shut up about for the past two weeks.


Soft Apocalypse: Survival Is Insufficient

This episode we cover "Station Eleven" by Emily St. John Mandel. Join us for discussions about grieving the beauty of our world, the improbability of human existence, and what would happen if Hiro from Heroes froze time and ejaculated 30 times in every direction. So you know, classy stuff. Also featuring "julian bashir is a space twink," post-apocalyptic Shakespeare fanfiction, and Amelia getting up in the middle of the recording to show Sarah her new Black Sails DVDs. It's only slightly...


President Jimmy Buffet, and Other Nautical Tales

Sarah and Amelia embark on a historical tour of women and the sea, from female admirals to female pirates (and the sea-faring women whose lives were ruined by pirates). Featuring tales of Artemisia of Caria, Grace O'Malley, Lady Jane Franklin, Cheng I Sao--and of course, the Black Sails favs Anne Bonny and Mary Read. Also, a rather egregious historical error on Amelia's part. She researched pirates, not US Presidents.


Panem? I Hardly Know 'Em!

This week, Sarah and Amelia read the whole gosh dang Hunger Games trilogy (sort of). Half the episode involves discussions about oppression, literary analysis, gender theory—you know, the deep stuff. The second half is two garbage people weighing their odds of winning the Games. Spoiler: they're low.


Minisode - World War Z

Sarah and Amelia slam some whiskey milkshakes and review the World War Z movie, because alcohol is basically the only thing that can make this travesty of an adaptation watchable. Also featuring Sarah's absent-minded adventures with law enforcement, the funniest death in zombie warfare, and a good chunk of time spent gushing about Thor Ragnarok.


Right Makes Might

This week, S&Am tackle a survival staple and stab it in the brain: we read World War Z by Max Brooks and talk worldwide zombie survival strategies, favorite zombie-killing weapons, and how "Fear The Walking Dead" might be the worst title ever. Sarah gushes about how much she loves large scale logistical bureaucracies and then completely misinterprets a popular idiom. Amelia is still excited about cannibalism.