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The Hunger by Alma Katsu

It's all bad cannibalism puns from here on out, folks. This week your hosts read The Hunger by Alma Katsu, a supernatural retelling of the ill-fated Donner Party expedition. Amelia speaks of cannibalism with a tremor of excitement in her voice, and Sarah kinkshames her by necessity.


Remnant Population by Elizabeth Moon

This week, Sarah and Amelia fantasize about the perks of being (mostly) alone on an entire planet as they read Elizabeth Moon's Remnant Population. Featuring discussions of gender, ageism, and alien oral sex. Amelia says "self-actualization" at one point and it makes her feel very smart and cool.



This week on Cracked Spines, your hosts decided to spice up their Jurassic Park viewing experience by eating some (legal!) marijuana chocolate. Sarah proceeded to be trapped within a dying prison of flesh for the remainder of the two hour movie, and Amelia was a two dimensional shape. Here are our hot takes on that, and also dinosaurs. Also featuring oily mannequin baby birth, Steven Spielberg the orgasm denial wizard, and of course, bad dinosaur name pronunciation.


Jurassic Park - Michael Crichton

Michael Crichton’s Jurassic Park is a template for a beautiful socialist lesbian love colony, and this week on Cracked Spines, we uncork Amelia’s lifelong dinosaur fetish to explore why the capitalist fools of this novel couldn’t see it. Amelia slanders Ernest Shackleton, Sarah tries and fails to name a single correct dinosaur fact, and together we discover that this novel is a stealth fanfic of Frankenstein that dares to ask the question: what if Dr. Frankenstein was a shitty grad student...


Ernest Shackleton Please Love Me

In what may be the final episode in our polar exploration kick, Sarah watches the Broadway musical "Ernest Shackleton Loves Me," featuring Ernest Shackleton skype-calling a single mom in the 21st century, crawling out of her refridgerator, and talking about his dick size. So basically, Sarah's ideal musical. Also featuring bad passwords, Critical Role, and yes, as always, The Terror.


Ernest Shackleton Did Okay, Considering

Ernest Shackleton has big dick energy, and Sarah is here to prove it. With his 69 dogs and his salty seamen, our boy Ernest proved that it is in fact possible to get famous for how badly you almost fucked up. Amelia reads Shackleton's memoir, while Sarah reads a selection of other Shackleton-related books, including children's stories and a manual on how to run your business like you got shipwrecked in Antarctica. Note: we ran into some technical issues with Sarah's mic near the end of the...


John Carpenter's The Thing

In keeping with our ongoing theme of polar horror, Sarah and Amelia watch John Carpenter's gooey vore masterpiece "The Thing." Featuring the raw erotic energy of MacReady's perpetual cowboy hat, discussions of practical effects vs CGI, and a brief digression on what opiods do to your poop. It's mostly relevant.


Who Goes There by John W. Campbell, Jr

Bet ya'll thought we were done with the Arctic, huh. This week we read Who Goes There by John W. Campbell, the novella which inspired three different movie spinoffs including John Carpenter's The Thing. We talk about the pros and cons of classic sci-fi, which Jane Austen character would die first in the Arctic, and the expansive isolation of polar horror as a genre. Most importantly, we pitch our own movie adaptation of this novella: a tentacle jetpack erotica romp as written by Isaac Asimov.


The Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

​This week, Sarah and Amelia read The Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi; and shocker of shockers, actually manage to have a semi-intelligent discussion on subverting versus embracing tropes, the nature of YA lit, and the importance of representation. Also, a serious question masquerading as a bit about whether or not you're allowed to keep a person's necrotic toe if it falls off in your presence. Like if they don't want it or whatever. Or if they don't call dibs. Seems like you...


The Terror 2: Yet More Terror

Listen, we say “don’t go to the Arctic” a fair amount on this podcast, but we just can’t help ourselves. This week we revisit our first book to discuss the AMC series The Terror which Sarah has not seen and has no interest to, and Amelia has watched twice, sobbing the entire time. Featuring things they changed from the book (including a welcome tweak to the backstory of our favorite little cannibal god king), sweet and sick facts about lead poisoning (like the fact that everyone in 19th...


The Martian by Andy Weir

This week, Mark Watney gets off—of Mars. And Amelia makes that stupid joke twice. We read Andy Weir’s novel The Martian and cover some super relevant topics, like Dragonball Z and Yu-Gi-Oh (but also like, the Curiosity rover and how to grow potatoes in a desolate wasteland). Also, this is Amelia’s first week back on the road living that glamorous #vanlife, and boy does she have a story to tell about backwoods campsite shower hygiene. Specifically, a horror story.


When You Wish Upon a Car

This week, Sarah and Amelia write the book on wilderness survival--literally. In a special episode in honor of Amelia leaving on her latest expedition, we're re-reading our old trip diaries from our very first road trip together, back when we were hapless fools who had yet to learn of the glory that is a two-burner propane stove. Aside from figuring out how to properly pee in the woods, Sarah worked through the aftermath of a tragedy that transpired during her senior year of college, and...


Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie

Revenge against an imperialist empire is a dish best served with a side of swashbuckling. It's everyone's favorite space-opera, Ancillary Justice! Sarah and Amelia talk about sentient space ships, cool gender stuff (guest starring another discussion of The Left Hand of Darkness because we just can't help ourselves), and... Pontius Pilate. Naturally, there is some singing involved.


Minisode - Alien Vs Predator

AVP is not only a cinematic masterpiece, it is also the lesbian magnum opus of 2004. Watch this movie with your third eye open and you too will see the truth: the Predator is a beautiful lesbian who falls in love at first sight with badass ice-explorer Lex Woods. Also featuring: Weylin should know better, sticking your hand into an alien sarcophagus is Bad Archeology, and as we keep saying, guys, don't go to the Arctic. Ant- or otherwise.


The Three Body Problem by Liu Cixin

Sarah and Amelia aren’t 100% clear about the difference between particle physics and witchcraft, but they give hard sci-fi their very best shot as they read The Three Body Problem by Liu Cixin this week. Including a crash course on the Chinese Cultural Revolution, how to survive the world’s worst video game, and speculation on the effectiveness of using the full immersion suit to have cybersex with Galileo.


The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin

Old wounds are reopened this week as Sarah and Amelia viciously fight over who which of them is the classiest and most devoted disciple of Ursula K Le Guin--and then swerve into a tangent about Mickey Mouse's sexual practices two minutes later. But mostly this is an episode about gender, politics, and surviving on an alien planet where the temperature rarely gets above freezing. And also, which piece of fanfiction deserves to be broadcast via ansible to the stars.


Minisode - Annihilation

In which Sarah and Amelia aren't destroying this episode, they're just making it new--because their first version got messed up and they had to record it twice. Featuring hot takes on the new Annihilation movie, like the fact that Nataie Portman is a twunk not a twink, and lockets are relevant again. Also, a disturbing look into Sarah's bear fetish, horrific photos Amelia had printed at CVS, and the hit sci-fi writer "Oscar Isamov."


Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer

Catch our episode on Jeff VanderMeer's novel Annihilation in preparation for the movie! Sarah describes how the Destroy of Worlds starfish is puking its own stomach onto the coral reefs, and it's only the fourth most horrifying thing we talk about this week. Sarah also invents a fun new word.


The Hot Zone by Richard Preston

This week, Sarah and Amelia fantasize about an alternative ending to Richard Preston's nonfiction work The Hot Zone wherein the Ebola virus in Reston actually does decimate their whole hometown, at last solving the problem of Northern Virginia traffic. Amelia spreads disease all through Europe. Sarah invents Bacteria Jesus. At no point do we say "Here's out hot take on The Hot Zone", or quote the Celebrity Jeopardy skit that Amelia wouldn't shut up about for the past two weeks.


Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

This episode we cover "Station Eleven" by Emily St. John Mandel. Join us for discussions about grieving the beauty of our world, the improbability of human existence, and what would happen if Hiro from Heroes froze time and ejaculated 30 times in every direction. So you know, classy stuff. Also featuring "julian bashir is a space twink," post-apocalyptic Shakespeare fanfiction, and Amelia getting up in the middle of the recording to show Sarah her new Black Sails DVDs. It's only slightly...