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All Sports Are Bad

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We're a podcast about an incredibly imperfect thing that we absolutely love.

We're a podcast about an incredibly imperfect thing that we absolutely love.
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We're a podcast about an incredibly imperfect thing that we absolutely love.




Episode 22: Thirst

All sports leagues need attention, but oftentimes these organizations get a little TOO thirsty for our eyes and ears. With that, Jake ranks his thirstiest sports complete with commentary. Think your favorite sport made the cut on this who's who of insufferable attention-seeking? Well then you've come to the right place, because it probably did. We also cover one of the most exciting NBA Finals match ups we've had in years.


Episode 21: The Long Lost Podcast

In this long lost episode from the ancient days of two weeks ago we covered the Warriors and Kevin Durant, and other player-team relationships gone egregiously sour, among many other topics. Also featured: Some NBA prospect analysis, an update on the Lorena Martin/Mariners situation, and finally some NFL commentary.


Episode 20: Caster Semenya is Perfect

This week we discussed the very disturbing situation surrounding Caster Semenya and how she has been a target of discrimination by the IAAF, and their ruling that she must now alter her body chemistry in order to compete. We also talk about the implications of that ruling going forward which may set a precedent in order to discriminate against other marginalized athletes going forward. We also discussed the NBA Draft Lottery, Stephen A Smith's reaction to that draft lottery, and general...


Episode 19: Kobe Bryant Is Bad

In this episode we dive into the legacy of Kobe Bryant. Using analytics and basic scouting methods, how does he stack up to the greatest players of all time? Do Kobe stans have an actual claim here or are they all just total weirdos who have a flawed understanding of what makes basketball players great? And what does it say to victims of sexual abuse when you prop up a predator and monster like Kobe Bryant? It's not good, we can tell you that much right now.


Episode 18: A Whole Month of Baseball Isn't All That Much Baseball

We're a full month into the baseball season and that means... well, it doesn't mean that much because a month of baseball isn't actually that much baseball as it turns out. We discuss some of the noteworthy things to happen so far in the season, specifically that Mike Trout is quickly and stealthily climbing the WAR ranks towards being one of the greatest of all time. We also talk about the absurdity of the NFL Draft, the 49ers' decision to take a legitimately horrible person, the NBA...


Episode 17: Special Guest Peter Bogren

In Episode 17 we had our very first remote guest in Peter Bogren. We dove into the incredibly unfair situation regarding WNBA player salaries, MLB's unwritten rules, and more.


Episode 16: All Sports Are Game Of Thrones

If every media outlet in the world is going to be doing Game of Thrones related content, then we sure as hell aren't going to miss out on this opportunity. Episode 16 is about the current going-ons in the MLB, the NBA, the PGA Tour, and the NCAA. But also it's about Game of Thrones and how Game of Thrones has had an effect on sports coverage as a whole for the last 4 months or so.


Episode 15: Wrestlemania

This week we've got a special Wrestlemania edition of All Sports Are Bad. Reuben Poling joins us to talk everything about World Wrestling Entertainment from Saudi Arabia, to rampant bigotry, to the lack of employee healthcare, to undead zombie warlocks, to NXT, to the Montreal Screwjob itself, and much much more. This one was a barn burner, folks.


Episode 14: Baseball Preview

It's our baseball preview episode! This week we went through each division and made our personal picks and standouts. We went over Ichiro Suzuki's retirement and Pete Rose's weird attitude towards him in general. We also covered March Madness and more specifically Tom Izzo's recent antics. And Patrick finally got to rant at length about the hilarious and painful collapse of his Los Angeles Lakers.


Episode 13: All Sports Are Good

Whether or not people want to admit it, the world of sports is chalk full of coded racism. While most leagues and the media outlets that cover them aren't as overt with their bigotry as they once were, they've adapted by using dog whistles instead. This episode covers this topic heavily. We also get into some hype-drags regarding Russell Westbrook, the College Admissions scandal and more!


Episode 12: Ancient Aliens

Fair warning, this isn't actually a podcast about Ancient Aliens. You'll figure that out quickly. This week our main topic revolves around the NFL, specifically the double standard that exists between expectations the owners have for themselves and the expectations players must meet in order to exist in the league. Spoiler alert: It's not fair to the players. Yes, we talk Robert Kraft, and no, we're not worried about a person soliciting a sex worker. Legalize sex work. We also talk some mess...


Episode 11: The Redemption Narrative

This episode contains discussions of topics such as sexual assault, domestic abuse, and violence. In this episode we take a look at the redemption narrative. Jake and Patrick analyze why we as a sports-viewing public love a comeback, but that it’s currently being applied to athletes who are genuinely terrible people as a means to allow them to somehow redeem themselves for their awful past. We also provide an update to the Dr. Lorena Martin and the investigation surrounding her and the...


Episode 10: How Good Is Instant Replay Anyway?

In this episode we review the NFC and AFC Championship games and some of the hilarious and horrendous controversies surrounding them. We also talk about the prospect of the NFL reviewing pass interference and how that may slow the game down and make it less entertaining, as well as instant replay and technology in officiating sports in general. MLB Hall of Fame voting has finished and we talk about the four brand new members of the Hall of Fame.


Episode 9: First ever guest Reuben Poling!

Episode nine marks a very special episode, our first guest! Reuben Poling joins the podcast and we talk about MLB salaries, financial structures, Kyler Murray, Manny Machado, and why the player's union is probably going to go on strike sooner rather than later. We also dive deep into some NBA Western Conference analysis, more specifically the Dubs, the Nuggets, the Lakers, the Thunder, and that gosh darned James Harden.


Episode 8: First Annual San Diego Padres Rankings

In our first podcast of 2019 we debut our first annual San Diego Padres Power Rankings. And I know what you're thinking, and it's not a power rankings of Padres players. It is a rankings list of the most generic, uninteresting, irrelevant franchises in sports today named after the most iconic generic, uninteresting, irrelevant franchise in sports history. It's a whole lot of fun. We also touch on the NFL playoffs and dive into MLB's disturbing salary situation. Also Patrick spilled a beer...


Episode 7: The College Football Playoffs Are Beyond Bad

In this final episode of 2018 we open it up by dragging and hyping some NBA players. Have you ever wondered if we like Gordon Hayward? Well spoiler alert: We don't like Gordon Hayward. And we'll tell you why! We also hype Toronto Kawhi, who is out here thriving professionally. Our main topic is the ridiculousness of the College Football Playoffs system and why it's incredibly not good. We also get into what sports leagues have the best playoff structures and why, among many other things.


Episode 6: The MLB Hall of Fame Has Always Been Bad (And So Was Babe Ruth)

In Episode 6 we discuss the Baseball Hall of Fame and how undeniably dumb it is, and always has been, and why it kinda doesn't matter either way. We also dive into the MLB Winter Meetings and more specifically what the hell is Scott Boras even talking about? And last but not least we've joined the rest of the baseball twitter world this week by dragging Babe Ruth relentlessly. Listen, he just wasn't that good. Okay?


Episode 5: No really, the NFL is bad

In this episode we react to the incredibly horrifying situation in the National Football League surrounding Kareem Hunt and dive further into the NFL's deeply problematic cultures of violence, bigotry, and the denial of CTE. We also discuss the economics behind stadium-building in professional sports as well as the never ending shit show that is the Seattle Mariners offseason.


Episode 4: The San Francisco Giants are bad.

In episode 4 we've found ourselves in a similar position: being upset at racist ass baseball because they're up to their old tricks again. This time we react to the San Francisco Giants' majority shareholder Charles Johnson's donation to Cindy Hyde Smith. We also get into the NBA, discussing the Nuggets, Lakers, Vucevic, and the Sixers. And it's fake rivalry week in Seattle! We discuss the overall sadness of the maybe nonexistent 49ers/Seahawks rivalry, and much more.


Episode 3: Happy Thanksgiving! Also the NFL is bad.

It's Thanksgiving! So naturally we're drinking and podcasting. On this episode we're a bit all over the place. We start off discussing the Mariners' ongoing situation, and then we dip into the NBA where we admittedly drag Dwight Howard a bit too much. Along the way we cover the dysfunctional predicament the Wizards have gotten themselves into, as well as Zion Williamson. The NFL becomes our main topic of the night: Patrick talks about his Peyton Manning fandom, and immediately denounces said...