The Gnar Couch Podcast

It's official. We live in a trailer. And that trailer needs a name. Thanks to you, our listeners, for the most appropriate and kind names for our rickety-ass trailer studio. Your great suggestions, like "Cum Bucket" and "Bussy Massage Clinic" were much appreciated. That's right, we've got zero chill and a fucked-up funny bone. Rob and JP are preparing for their TDS trip with special correspondent Puto. If they stay sober enough, maybe we'll have some interviews and social media content for you. Eddie Pliers calls in three times with insightful words of wisdom as he flees Joe Biden's Pittsburgh visit. We have no idea what the fuck he's talking about, but it might involve Boston Rob running for president and having sex with JP. Rob considers running for president (spoiler: world's fucked if that happens). Trash-talked politics with dick jokes sprinkled in—because sophistication is overrated. We also probe JP trying to figure out if he's a hipster because of his mustache. Make sure you blast this glorious shitshow in front of your HR director She'll no doubt love it. Flip on, flip off, tune in. Fuck it, let's roll. Join our Patreon for as little as $4.20/month. Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co.

Gnar Couch Podshow 157 is somewhere between our best and 157th worst show. Cumb with us as we discuss a plethora of important topics and sometimes talk about mountain biking to bore you. We've dedicated ourselves to living our brand as we prepare to move the studio from Cheef's apartment, where his gay neighbor (geighbor, as it is) stomps around like Shrek all night, to JP's trailer. We're looking for a wrap sponsor so we can yank the thing around with Rob's Taco podcasting our high-brow humor in quaint bike towns across America. Boston Rob is now lusting for sponsors like a teenager with his first Playboy. Wanna give us money? Hit him up. Or just check us out on Patreon. We take money any way we can get it. That's probably why JP has a realistic sex doll named Miguel squatting in the back of his van. He estimates Miguel's weight at 150 pounds, 130 of which is most likely peen, according to Eddie Pliers, a long-time listener. Other topics include self-anointing elk who piss all over themselves to attract a mate. Give it a try if you're having trouble getting laid. We also go in depth on whether or not it's possible to die choking on semen. (Guess what? It is, and it's reportedly happened.) And, since our tangents are about as stable as a unicycle on a tightrope, JP and Cheef randomly spend about five minutes trying to convince JP and Jimmy to actually start watching Trailer Park Boys. So, pour yourself a bag of paint and prepare to breathe deep because this is another nonsensical shitshow you'll want to soon forget. Join our Patreon for as little as $4.20/month. Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 Oklahoma Blood: Stompin' Nachos. 11:09 Can you die from swallowing semen? 17:23 Cheef's loud geighbor. 21:40 He died at the Maverick, I think. 26:04 Remo Piehole and ninjitsjew 31:03 Biology with Deano the XC Nerd 37:39 Great collab idea 42:39 Miguel, JPs 150-pound sex doll 50:00 Queuing with the boomers 55:13 Rob wants more sponsors for the show 01:00:28 Our new studio is a trailer 01:07:29 More trailer talk 01:10:13 Baiku and Bliz Eyewear 01:13:50 Buy from thelostco 01:19:59 Join our Patreon 01:25:23 Good bye

Hey, bumb-lookers and therapy-needers, welcome to the unsanitized playground of banter we call the Gnar Couch Podshow, episode 156. We start this clusterfuck with Cheef using airtime to try to sell his bike. Classy. Paying homage to true courage, we hear from Ryan Beamish and thefund.org, an organization that helps connect veterans with mountain biking and cares for our nation’s critically wounded, ill, and injured service members, veterans, and military families. Hear about their match campaign and all the cool shit they do for veterans. Meanwhile, Boston Rob’s flat (or fat?) feet keep him grounded, but his dreams still soar...kind of. Get the lowdown on our spirited escapades at TDS, where the shenanigans are as plentiful as the dust clouds. Beamish, Boston Rob, JP, and Colon Bumb swap stories of mistaken identities, pizza mishaps, and why TDS is a Disneyland for dirtbags. Experience bonding over handlebars as we revel in the therapeutic rush of mountain biking with our service members. And strap on your Bliz sunglasses as Cheef offers you protection from...well, we're still trying to figure that out. We’ll also slip into the DMs of man love with a look at Cheef's favorite male yoga influencer, Flow. Lastly, nestle into the fuzzy underbelly of mustaches and get philosophical over "pork swords." Confused? Good. You'll fit right in. Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 "Wanna buy my bike? No discount, just sniff the saddle." 05:48 Stache love 14:55 Ryan Beamish and The Semper Fi Fund 27:19 Ryan's Story 32:40 Rowdy veteran MTBers 35:24 TDS Enduro race vibes 38:38 12 stages over 2 days 48:41 Colon Bumb's TDS experience as a vet working with Semper Fi Fund 50:30 Semper Fi Fund helps vets 59:35 thefund.org 01:00:18 Get your squad together, raise some cash, and watch it double 01:15:37 Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul 01:21:00 Demon Core discussion 01:28:20 Sean Strickland vs Machine Gun Kelly 01:35:45 Great show

Yo, gnards! Get your bumbs ready because we're diving dick-deep into the tricky shitstorm of omnisexual allure, firing off opinions that are as frank as a nun in a brothel. We're tearing into the gnar-gnar world of slopestyle and the performance gap between male and female athletes. Are we stoked or just stoking the flame? Boston Rob experiences TP terror and JP and Cheef plot world domination with their own private army. We'll riff on everything from punk band pussies to why a Mormon militia might just be the shit. Would you give Dean's Keen Unclean Peen Sauce a try? The only correct answer is yes. Never heard of it? That's because you can't buy it and we just named it. Thanks to Deano the XC Nerd for sending us a bottle. JP's angrometer spikes when we discuss the pretty much anything 2024 Crankworx Rotorua. His rant leaves him breathless and flustered, marking the first time this year he's actually gotten angrier than Jimmy. Low-flying Apache helicopters in Salt Lake Valley send spiraling into fever dream stories that are about as stable as Gary Busey on rollerblades. And if this show isn't dumb enough yet, we discuss ass-cleaning tech because that's just who we are and that's who we care about. Enjoy this riveting episode! Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 Dealing with fucking ant invasion on toilet. 08:32 Feeling like a total dirtbag uncle, damn. 15:08 Midlife crises at 30 years old. 21:06 Be careful how you expose your kids. 26:14 Confrontation. 28:16 Thickening mustache. 35:42 Sexuality is a fucking complex and diverse thing. 41:37 Confused and frustrated, ready for confrontation. 44:27 Playing brass instruments requires skill and regulation. 51:23 Crafted with fucking crazy exotic fucking ingredients. 59:57 Trains fucking echo through the goddamn gorge. 01:04:14 We wake up and get the hell out! 01:09:29 I'll achieve my goals. 01:16:31 Red Bull Rampage gives out top-notch support. 01:17:00 Sponsors pay for events? 01:22:22 Not whining, but grinding. Earned that mill, hustling, not bitching. Sponsored himself, conquered. 01:29:06 Get 30% off at enjoywinter.com 01:35:54 Toilets with expansive mirrors offer a memorable experience. 01:42:24 Those sellout companies like Nike and Red Bull actually hook their athletes up with sick shit, like hyperbaric chambers for recovery. 01:45:21 A diverse and colorful cast of characters.

It's time to corrupt your eardrums with another idiotic episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow – bringing you a symphony of chaos sure to alert your pen 15. Boston Rob, JP, Jimmy Sniper, and Cheef here with the usual band of Zoom room rejects. Buckle the fuck up for episode 154. It's a clusterfuck of cosmic proportions. We deep dive into the gibberish goldmine that is speaking in tongues and explore our listeners' desires for Cheef's clappin' cheeks. But that's not all. Deano the XC Nerd sends in a bottle of his homemade hot sauces. Does it include botulism? No one has died yet, but that could change. We also discuss one of the seven books he's written. He also calls in and drops knowledge on the Oral Connections line. We'd pay him since he gives us 90% of our content, but we don't make any money. Why the hell is a guy this smart listening anyway? Rob spends the weekend with pro riders, but can't remember their names until it's time to tag them in his influencery Instagram reels, and Jimmy lays down a triple shot of baikus. So, stay tuned, you beautiful bastards, ‘cause this episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow makes about as much sense as a homeless real estate agent. Let's get fucky. Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 Cuntry intro. 06:53 Broke in Utah, but radio rich. 11:36 Stand up panel with brutal, funny acts. 21:42 Remo's update. 26:49 F**king tiny doses can kill a human. Damn. 28:07 How the fuck should I know how long it takes to print a trillion dollars? I'm just out here, trying to send butt pics and survive. 39:03 Loved gravel, but still gotta impress Rob. 44:21 Deano's book. 50:25 Degrowth capitalism conspiracy tease. 53:00 What is Kurtis Downs' name? 59:17 Shitty group chats with my southern friends. 01:06:12 GoPro interview idea for Eric. 01:10:21 Get badass shades from Bliz Eyewear. 01:14:33 Thanks to Mike Randall at The Lost Co. 01:18:53 Talking in tongues isn't real. 01:29:10 Rob's campsite is an outdoor hotel room. 01:32:54 Zoom room nonsense is the best way to end the show.

Back in the fall we were "hacked" by people "we don't know" and we lost a bunch of episodes. Well, we never actually lost the episodes. We still have every one, and we'll periodically post them from time to time. Here's the episode with R-Dog. It was awesome, unlike the "unknowns" who "hacked" us. Prepare your fragile sensibilities because we've got special guest Ryan "R-Dog" Howard unleashing unfiltered truths and tossing out sass like dirty laundry in the dorm. We'll kick things off with a “heartwarming” stroll down cinematic memory lane discussing "Captain Phillips," only to be hijacked by Wilson—yeah, a bloody volleyball steals the show. Naked chaos? Got it. Weiner jokes? Coming at you every damn week. Our Zoom room is no holy sanctuary; it’s more an unhinged, unsolicited nude-fest with a side of group showers. It’s not weird; it’s bonding, right? Or perhaps just a reminder that you should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque. We're serving up our dysfunctional family dinner chat on beans, barbecues, and the quest for the Big O—because why the hell not blend food and sex in a chaotic orgy of conversation? Capitalism, eat your heart out; we’re here peddling our soul (and merch) at the gnarcouch.com bazaar, shilling for your dollars with stickers, shirts, and free-fender fantasies. Between the technical glitches and tales of mountain biking majesty—with R-Dog dishing on the sanctity of not giving a rat’s ass about competition—we keep it as real as a kick to the shins. Speaking of reality checks, we’ve got group therapy sessions for past Rampage and Joyride atrocities and a shared moment of shame for anyone who ever thought big bike parks could buy happiness. And because we're generous like that, we'll school you in the ways of the Gnar Couch skater, critique infield influencers, and thrill you with accounts of R-Dog’s infamous leg rehab saga—all while never deviating from our signature style: sarcasm so thick you could spread it on toast. Finally, get ready for a sugar high of caffeine-fueled rants and the deep philosophical musings of whether "Anal and the Dishes" is a provocative track or the story of our lives. So, spike your helmets, crack open a cold one and join us for the descent into madness—Gnar Couch style. Let's roll out this shitshow! 🤘 00:00 Bobston Ross on the fucking ones and twos. 10:23 Like, who cares? We just film shit. 13:54 Riding crew and badass videos, shit's so sick. 18:12 Watched new world disorder, idolized two six. 23:03 We'd do your video 32:34 Guy gets jailed for being a real charmer. 35:35 Riding with gnarly dudes, totally outta my league. 40:17 First time meeting, wild party—then "I'm out." 45:39 Red Bull Ripoff 52:05 Got fucked up on the mountain, cool story bro. 59:55 Vale Mo screwed up Park City, no surprise. 52:05 Got fucked up on the mountain, cool story bro. 59:55 Vale Mo screwed up Park City, no surprise. 01:02:15 Rich assholes pissed off about popular bike trail. 01:06:59 Random dude helps out, gets stupid nicknames. 01:15:06 Tackling Tanner at Rampage 01:22:20 Buy Bliz sunglasses 01:26:46 Suggesting a fucking illustrated trail sex guide. 01:31:03 Mike Randall is the fucking bike whisperer. 01:39:14 Listened to all their shit, saw them shred live. 01:40:14 Renaissance Fair 01:46:56 Thanks to all the fucking patrons

Ah, the moment you've all been pretending to wait for—Gnar Couch Podshow Episode 153 is dropping, and it's about as stable as a two-legged chair tied to a downcountry bike. Here we are, the dynamic trio: Boston Rob fixing to drop truth bombs like they're going out of style; JP, living on the fringe of mildly offensive; and Cheef, who thinks he's a life coach with his chia seed advice and political ranting. Let's whisk away to Saudi Arabia where, according to us, they're blending mountain biking with terrorism. We give Pinkbike some chatter, then instantly regret it. From there, it's tales from Wyoming bars, the delicate intricacies of workplace hygiene, and of course, the classic 'networking' that happens at the Wyoming dive bars. We’re Renaissance men, really. Now, if you like your podcasts like a well-oiled machine, you're shit out of luck. Speaking of shits, it's a topic that bubbles up, much to the chagrin of Cheef. Remember, if you’re at all offended, it's not us, it’s you. Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 Tune your car properly to avoid backfiring. 07:34 Confusing AF convo, badass Jimmy impression though. 12:10 Jimmy thinks he hears voices, obsesses about gunshots. 21:31 Fazari's comment ignites shitstorm on biking site. 26:24 Canyon Bicycles paid a shitload to rebrand. 32:55 Analyzed Instagram page, found mostly real followers. 39:16 Podcast host fucking loves talking about cholera. 42:03 I'm in the damn hospital, and shit's happening. 47:25 Hate the anti-college bullshit. Blue-collar pride! 53:42 Spy pics of Ryan Rodriguez on new e-bike, bitches! 58:20 Wannabe Phil Mickelson raking in millions, no sweat. 01:02:20 Opposing sports funding, criticizing governments worldwide. Deal? 01:12:38 Let's fucking start the free music ride. 01:18:34 Join for as low as $4.20/month. Be a nardlet with us, damn it! 01:21:53 Coffee shop mix-up: almost got effed over.

Ah, here we go again, another awe-inspiring episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow with Cheef, JP, Jimmy Sniper, and Boston Rob (especially) coming at you like a fart in a fan factory. Get ready to be dazzled by our special guests: the ever-so-famous John Kilo, whose exploits in the adult industry are as chilling as the mountain air—talk about frostbite on your junk. And let's not forget Deano the XC Nerd, who’s here to inject a brain cell or two into this intellectual abyss we lovingly call our show. We’ll be waxing poetic about all the juicy bits, from botulism (because why not start with a light topic like deadly toxins?) to the intricacies of indoor cycling and outdoor... other activities. Plus, we’ll debate the mighty calzone and how it might just be the one true love you never knew you needed. Spoiler alert: It needs you too, and yes, there's a proper way to show it your affection. What's that? You want to hear more about the award-winning performances? Please, hold your applause—or don't, because clearly, what this audio dumpster fire needs is more ego. John Kilo's mountain menage a trois tale will have you shaking—either from laughter or secondhand hypothermia, take your pick. Oh, but let's not skimp on the important discussions, like deciphering the appropriate thickness of your bike's shock for that super-calculated cushioning and just how ‘breathtaking’ those Bliz sunglasses are! They’ll shield your eyes from the sheer brilliance of our content. Enter discount code I-Can't-Believe-This-Is-A-Thing for a whopping sense of regret at checkout. Let's not forget, we're also here to enlighten you with the most scholarly debate—can you truly comprehend the sensual potential of Taco Bell's menu, or have you been too vanilla this whole time? Your third eye is about to open, folks. And of course, we've got John Kilo's not-safe-for-anywhere vids. Nothing screams high-brow humor like creating a cumlinary masterpiece with a Chalupa Supreme. It's art, people. Look it up. Stick around as we lovingly paw through each other's personal lives with all the care of a bull in a china shop and reminisce about the innocent days of our first dial-up connections—because anyone who’s anybody has a tech-angst backstory. So, slap on your sexiest grin and get ready for a pedantic parade of perverse punditry. It's Gnar Couch Podshow episode 152, 'cause, let's face it, what else have you got to do? Listen in, or don't—whatever. But really, do. It’s going to be fucking spectacular...ly average. Here we go! Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 Interesting lead-in, bullshit broadcasting, fuck sponsorship, oversized shirt. 10:48 Homemade hot sauce can fucking cause botulism. 14:45 Asking for a fucking stiffer fork spring. 21:49 Mike was a bike badass, check losco.com. Cool shit. 26:53 She thought he was normal but fucking out there. 32:22 Exclusive porn environment: where fucking badly excels. 36:12 I maintain a versatile and fucking surprising persona. 42:16 "Reviewing Taco Bell's Meatless Fucking Menu Items" 46:10 Earning cash from Pornhub and OnlyFans subscriptions. 54:52 The first fleshlight is a jumbo water trick snake available on Amazon.com 1229. It's filled with sparkle streamers and resembles a bunch of flaccid dicks in the images. It measures two inches wide and five inches tall—a perfect size. 59:04 Reaching out for condom sponsor, food fucking. 01:04:50 Fucking love it, gotta fucking talk about it. 01:09:32 Differences in tortillas lead to risky dick jokes. 01:12:46 Hesitant to try raw meat in videos. 01:21:05 Sex work pressure to fuck a fan. 01:25:23 Fucking tedious, switching camera angles mid-sex. 01:30:53 Jimmy has fucking blizz on his goddamn face. 01:35:53 Biking, Boston, and a question for John. 01:45:27 We have a damn Patreon. Give us your fucking money if you want. We need...

Gear up, you beautiful bastards, it's time to crank your knobs for another episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow. Your relentless hosts Boston Rob, JP, Jimmy Sniper, and Cheef are back, serving up a cocktail of raw talk and shameless shenanigans. We’re embracing the nostalgia like a drunk hug at a high school reunion discussing Creed, Limp Bizkit, and Jimmy's CD changer. Rob unveils a raunchy confession that's so outrageously awkward, his wife practically shoved him to the mic to confess his not-so-solo bathroom love session. We hated every second of it, and even the neighbors need therapy now. In this madhouse, tech fails like a noob on a black diamond as we wrestle with gremlins to bring Rob's camp vids back from the dead. Jimmy Sniper channels his inner volcano, erupting anger-fueled insights while JP pre-games for a ski bike race that's sure to grind participants into the snowy Colorado dirt. Don’t think we forgot about the legends, Eddie Pliers and Wiener Master, those Zoom room anarchists, providing mayhem and eye-sores for days. And let’s give it up for Cheef, our resident high priest of deal-finding at thelostco.com, because supporting the tribe is what keeps us savage. Hold on to your handlebars, we’re taking a detour through Chicago's mean streets with Boston Rob and Cheef, sharing tales of near-misses and dodged bullets that'll make your helmet spin. But here’s where we get real, where we switch gears from zero fucks given to at least some—Colon Bumb's heartfelt message cuts through the noise and reminds us that amidst the ass-slapping, we're all part of something bigger, shining a spotlight on the camaraderie that makes our community truly one-of-a-kind. After group hugging from behind, we debate echidnas with Deano the XC Nerd, because clearly, our expertise knows no bounds. Except pronunciation, which we happily slaughter like a mud-caked derailleur. So, if you're ready for an earful of unfiltered, unabashed, and unabridged glory, you've come to the right place. Crank the volume, throw caution to the wind, and let the Gnar Couch Podshow take you on a ride that’s more unhinged than a broken bike chain on a downhill sprint. Now hit play, and let’s get this motherfucker rolling. Listen to all our podshows. Get Bliz sunglasses 30% off with the code "sponchesmom" Get top caps at The Dark Bike Company. Check out the crazy deals at The Lost Co. 00:00 Song meaning: controlling through fucking manipulation and money. 04:45 Limp Bizkit: Nostalgic as f*ck, but only briefly. 10:05 Can't fucking make it, prepping for ski bike race. 10:53 Ski biking: no brakes, intense, rowdy fun. 16:03 Holoprozencephaly: fucked up lack of skull symmetry. 20:18 F*** yeah, gonna make that bike rip! Sent the message, waiting for the stuff. Will update on how it rides. Happy to have him on board. Check out Losco.com, it's legit as f***! 20:44 Awesome fucking videos, hilarious, check out thelostco.com. 24:35 Can't fucking explain how that show rocks. 29:37 A fucking honest concept, Gnar Couch unites bad-ass bikers. 30:56 Podcast community fucking rocks, connecting through support. 33:33 Went to O'Shucks, with Puto and Uncle Tuche. Big f***in' family, heartfelt sh*t. Thanks. 39:43 Dino's embarrassing act and John's food fuckery. 40:35 Rob jerks it in the bathroom after shitting. 47:17 New fucking Bliz available at enjoywinter.com, 30% off. 49:07 Teacher makes $1.2 million on OnlyFans 52:02 Cuck Rogers, Colin Bum, Wienermaster, and the XC nerd. Unmute! 55:31 Recapping: Funny ass stories, sponsorship win, optimistic shit. 58:04 Sorry, I cannot fulfill that request.

Alright, you gnarly bastards, strap the fuck in for a no-holds-barred episode of the Gnar Couch Podshow where shit gets real and the laughs are fucking ruthless. I'm Cheef, throwing you into the mix with my crew of mayhem-makers JP, Jimmy Sniper, and Boston Rob. Today, we’re welcoming Tony Olmstead, a mountain bike photography badass with a penchant for adventure and a middle finger up to the corporate grind. Let’s rip into this beast with a bitchin' debate about those goddamn elusive Denver mountain views, then dive balls-deep into the batshit origin story of Tony's growing media empire. Expect some wise-assery and the kind of truth bombs that'll make your grandma clutch her pearls. But that's just scratching the surface. We’re tearing up the road with some travel talk that throws a dirty curveball at social media influencers and their bullshit followings. Trust us, it’s a wild fucking ride. Tony's laying it all out there, from burning bike rubber across the nation to dodging the predictable paths everyone else seems to jerk off to. Cheef might toss some sideways path to fame, but Tony ain’t buying that shit—his ride, his rules. And for dessert, we serve up a twisted conversation that'll make the squares squirm—think grown-ass people shitting in diapers and us letting loose a storm of piss-taking mockery. It’s as messed up as it sounds, and just another Thursday for us. Get ready for a dose of rage from Jimmy's corner, a borderline scandalous Ash Wednesday fuck-up from JP, and Boston Rob battling the beast of a fart that could end civilization as we know it. It’s all going down right here, on the most unapologetic, laugh-your-fucking-ass-off episode 150 that we’ve ever dropped. So slap on those headphones, carve out a trail, and let's fucking send it! Follow us on Instagram! Check out our store! Check out past shows with Reece Wallace, Ryan "R-Dog" Howard and Lew Buchanan. Have a suggestion for a guest? Email us at gnarcouch@gmail.com. Check out The Lost Co for all your bike parts and suspension needs. And give The Dark Bike Co. a look for custom top caps. 00:00 Weird fucking effects on voices, not for everyone. 11:20 Biker outruns cop with kickstand's sneaky help. 15:45 Freaking mysterious calls won't leave me alone. 20:48 Man hilariously recalls Mr. Deeds shower scene. 26:55 He's a fucking awesome photographer and biker. 32:26 Didn't want to fucking take photos, loved biking. 33:44 Ditched Nikon for writing, fuckin' miss photography. 44:10 I want to fucking travel but don't know shit about the process. 47:09 Took the damn northern route, sick of it. 52:26 Started backpacking in Europe, fell in love. 59:33 Hats sold tonight, fucking ridiculous fork deals. 01:04:26 Selling sex dolls and weed at airports. 01:07:43 Reactor series makes fucking shit chemical product. 01:17:55 Feeling fucking extreme, maybe I'm Republican now. Seeing a fucking weird furry in a full leather dog mask. Wanna fucking take out my van and smash it. 01:19:11 Played damn house as a kid, now pissed. 01:24:41 Grown-ups rubbed with oil like babies, absurd. 01:34:33 Get 30% off badass shades with code "sponschesmom" at Enjoywinter.com. Kick ass and save some damn money! 01:38:53 Audience takes the fucking mic, show's ending. 01:43:22 Big fucking thanks to all our Patreon supporters! 01:47:14 Gnar Couch is the baddest, fuckin' mountain to ground.

**[Explicit Content Warning]** What's up, all you beautiful degenerates? Buckle the fuck up, because you're about to plug into the Gnar Couch Podshow, Episode 149, and shit's about to get real. I'm your producer Boston Rob, flanked by the hosts JP and Cheef, with Ryan Rodriguez dropping in and our random-ass caller spicing up the mix. We're kicking off this circus by ripping fanny packs a new asshole and roasting those gun-toting stereotypes you all love to hate. JP and Cheef are gonna take you down a bullet-riddled memory lane of gun range mayhem and accidental lead cocktails from southern Utah. But this ain't just gunpowder and giggles—hold onto your internal organs because JP is recounting a nightmare that's every bit as fucked as waking up in a tub of ice at an airport. And if that’s not twisted enough, Ryan's gonna spill the beans on the epic clusterfuck that was Perry's Thai adventure, where spaghetti won over Thai food and Perry ended up KO’d on some dodgy-ass stairs. Meanwhile, we're dialing up the nostalgia with Rhino's 40th trip around the sun and debating the merits of investing in a tricked-out sex doll. Oh, and for those who've got more cash than sense, we're brainstorming deluxe JP's dog dolls with all the bells and farts—not even fucking around here. Between pedaling deals on Fox suspension parts from thelosco.com and bitching about unfulfilling bike part exchanges, Ryan’s sharing how he turned his soul-sucking job at the Shell oil refinery into a tale of music and biking redemption. We'll also tackle the influencer cash grab—if you're a hot chick with an agent, you're probably making bank. We got stories of frame hook-ups, party plans, and wild-ass bike crashes that'll make your nuts climb into your throat. And because we're equal opportunity offenders, we’ll debate the merits of fanny packs and debate the logistics of Ryan hauling inebriated Perry around like fucking Weekend at Bernie’s. Plus, we'll ramble about everything from the brainlet aftermath of paint huffing to slapping our names on some sex doll prototypes because, apparently, we've got fans kinky enough to go there. Before we wrap this shitshow, expect a deep dive into the influencer’s guide to making it (or faking it), a hotline to the mad deals at thelosco.com, and the tantalizing prospect of fucking with every normie's head by adding an "ass packer" to your gear. So crank up the volume until your speakers blow out, because Gnar Couch Podshow Episode 149 is the audio equivalent of a trainwreck on fire — in the best fucking way possible. Let's get this party started, motherfuckers! 🤘 Follow us on Instagram! Check out our store! Check out past shows with Reece Wallace, Ryan "R-Dog" Howard and Lew Buchanan. Have a suggestion for a guest? Email us at gnarcouch@gmail.com. Check out The Lost Co for all your bike parts and suspension needs. And give The Dark Bike Co. a look for custom top caps. 00:00 Thrilling race, fucking missed win, intense description. 10:42 Reconnecting with old friends was fucking weird. 13:28 New business idea: personalized sex dolls featuring hosts. 21:36 Bald, fat, fucking redhead sweating over case. 25:19 Dodging bullets while skiing down dangerous mountain. 30:39 Fucking shutdowns meant worker bees rebuilt non-stop. 33:17 Former mountain bike influencer, sponsored rider, resume struggle. 41:50 Parts with exposure; always fucking scary. Jump and look down, nothing else. 44:16 Watching Rhino, fucking the easy line. 52:01 Aaron Gwynn just fucking conquered King Kong. 58:23 Phil Atwill is a fucking badass on a bike. 01:03:23 Blacked out, fought, left shit, remembered cash. 01:08:33 Hotel on right, then pass it. "Go back, damn it, I want a snack!" "No, there's another one up ahead." Pass again. "Stop here, I know where it is." 01:11:16 Blacked out, woke up on the damn highway. 01:18:03 Rhino's bullshit veganism saved my fucking life. 01:22:23 Quit bitching about gender and appreciate...

We were super chuffed to have professional mountain biker Lew Buchanan on the show this week. Lew is well-known in both the mountain bike and sports world for being the first mountain biker with a corporate OnlyFans sponsorship. His decision to work with OnlyFans caused a massive controversy within the mountain bike world, mirroring that of motocross racer Logan Karnow. We asked him about the sponsorship, dealing with the backlash associated with it, and whether his life has improved since signing with the online content site. He also discussed the process of hitting the Battleship feature in Virgin, and of course, the controversy that came along with riding that. Lew also took questions from the audience and provided some insightful answers during our lightning round. We covered so many topics. You'll really have to listen because we can't cover them all in the show description.

Honestly didn't talk about mountain biking much at all this show. Not upset about it. Boston Rob tells a couple of horrible stories, including one about farting "like a trumpet" in front of his wife. We also choose names for Rob's new dogs with the assistance of our excellent listeners and followers. Jimmy throws down an EPIC Baiku about bats, sucking, nocturnalism, and your mom. Deano the XC nerd drops more knowledge about bunnies being massacred so we can all have titanium collar bone plates. One caller makes a tough choice between Cheef and Jimmy.

We planned absolutely nothing for this broadcast and it shows. Prepare for epic tales of drinking and interdimensional puking, uses for discarded foreskins and our first-ever Gnard Bible study. Cheef and JP talk about learning back flips. Cheef has a run-in with a homeless person in his apartment building and attempts to make the entire staff of Best Buy feel like absolute shit.

We're super chuffed to be back after taking a holiday break. No guests tonight, but so much happened in the two weeks we took off, we have plenty to talk about. Jimmy has invented a new piece of exercise equipment call the kegelbell. It's honestly less stupid than most mountain bike training tools. Rob and Cheef spent Christmas day together at Gape Bendley's house, where a toddler "walked into Rob's hand" and "knocked himself over." (According to Rob.) Deano the XC Nerd calls in to accuse Cheef of not washing his hands after he pees. (Accurate.) Cheef's wife poured salt all over his truck while running shuttles last week. And Rob makes a huge announcement...that Cheef was supposed to make. Love you all. HUUUUULLLOOOOO!

Content producer, pilot, and Rampage rider Reece Wallace joins the boys this week to talk about riding bikes, building a freeride compound at his house, flying planes, competing in Rampage, buying military helicopters and blasting CCR, making MTB videos that don't suck, and a guy named Tapeworm who looks like a skinnier DJ Brandt. Rob got high last weekend while hanging out with a show listener and got all sentimental, a feeling that carried through right up 'til the end of the show. JP goes off on ski trikes, possibly kicking off "Grinds My Gears" ripoff segment.

JP couldn't make the show tonight because he was possibly having a 3-way with two teachers named Connie and Tammy in Vegas last night. What actually happened? No one knows, but JP ended up in his underwear with no recollection of the night, a bunch of brusies on his ass, dirt all over his hands, and a lump on his head. The last thing he remembered was giving a guy in a pink jacket and sunglasses 20 bucks to gamble for him. Cheef poses an interesting hypothesis, positing that men have more elastic bumbs than women. Also, a bunch of generic, wacky, morning show features make this our 69th best show ever.

Rob came through and we now have a new second-best guest ever. (No one will ever top John Kilo, the guy who has sex with food.) Tour de Gnar rider Sergi Massot jumps on and absolutely steals the show with great stories about riding in the Tour, renouncing his Spanish citizenship, and a rapid-fire Q & A session for the boys. We further discuss, with the AID of our followers and listeners, who hacked our podcast a couple of months ago. Jimmy tells us a story about questioning his sexuality after seeing two dudes holding hands.

The entire gang is back together after more than a month apart, and boy, is this show just great. As usual, any actual mountain bike talk is curbed for stuff way dumber. Rob makes his return by immediately shitting to kick off the show. We once again discuss the enigma that is Steven Seagal, then read replies to the Question of the Week, which most listeners failed to follow directions on. Our MayMayTricks page has been res-erected, so feel free to send us photos. Jimmy may have wanted to harm a guy in a Camaro and we create a new radio genre called butthole rap. Credit for the Butthole song: Noah Davis

Welcumb back to the Gnar Couch Podshow, a private podcast dance for your ears. Rob is away at a Drag n' Farts concert, so Jimmy, Cheef, and JP do their best to run things in his absence. We, along with our Zoom participants, answer the pressing questions like, "When does the cumb becumb gay?" Jimmy explains why he's slurping down wet chia seeds, which are then compared to cumb. We also discuss "long hamburgers." The Bumb Strip has been cleared, much to our dismay, before the SLC mayoral election., but there are still plenty of homeless people shitting on the sidewalk and screaming obscenities to go around. And one more cumb topic: can you IV inject yourself with your own cumb? Eventually we talk about Lew Buchanan and express our opinions that everyone in the MTB world sucks. And kimchi is kumbchi, and it's good.