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Grass Journal Podcast

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We Are All A Part. Writing and recordings about nature, existence, and wildness.

We Are All A Part. Writing and recordings about nature, existence, and wildness.


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We Are All A Part. Writing and recordings about nature, existence, and wildness.







Winnowing It happened when the grass was flowering: pale puffs of dust, appearing with a breeze, or even from a tiny beetle landing on a stem. Just enough to send life outward. Snipe stood on a log that morning, just watching. I thought about the sound he makes as he flies all night and he watched me, and I watched him, and as usual, the sun rose. The good from bad, it seems the thoughts, or feelings are of different weights. Tossing them to the wind what blows away from me are good...


The Present

I think it’s hard to be present, because I have been taught all my life that the point of life, the purpose of it, is to progress. There’s always some achievement or some better future off in the distance. Yet what I’ve learned is that the present is where life occurs. It doesn’t happen in the future, and it isn’t a goal. It’s actually happening right now as you read this. I decided to record some words about this. Feel free to listen—it was recorded totally off the cuff, with no planning,...



Wellbeing is a net. And we are a strand in the net. The strands around us are made of people, places, what we consume, produce, see, feel, experience. I think of this in the fading evening. The leaves and hills have changed slowly this season. The tops of mountains have snow. Distant hills disappear in morning mist. To the south the valley is hidden by mountains. The air cold in the morning, the grass gold or brown, the trees bare, the geese moving and honking. The water of the river...


Start Where You Are

Thoughts about being present and ignoring obstacles—to focus instead on what you can do. Credits to the young hawthorne tree that has taken root on a hillside where I boil tea. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit


Pain as a Practice

There is a little piano against one wall of this house I live in. I play it from time to time. When I first began, I noticed all the melodies I played were sad. I knew I had some sadness in me. Actually, I knew I had a lot. But, I didn’t really know what to do with it. So I played the piano most days, but the songs were always pretty sad. For one reason or another, I have been carrying some sadness based on grief for a few years. It has been hard but not without its lessons. I think that...



A story about following a coyote’s tracks in fresh snow. And, in turn, thinking about my own life. Full text below. Piano and story by me, Hudson Gardner. Tracks by coyote and deer. Snow by earth. … At the base of the hill, past the muddy shopyard and cattle fences, across the bridge that planks over Chimacum creek, and just before the salmonberry groves, were two perfect prints in the fresh snow. Light snow filled in the almond shaped grooves, with the gradually tapering tips softened...


Calligraphy of a Stream

In this episode, I share a poem I wrote, and a little about my writing difficulties and successes over the last year or two. I really like this poem, and think it is one of my best. So I hope you find something in it too. Music Credits: Liberty Bell by Darkside. Calligraphy of a Stream I A gray jays wing looks like old cedar wood grain. Grown from melted snow, and stolen sandwich bits. The jays move in flocks, take turns landing softly on my hat. The lower lake, frozen solid, but for the...


Three Years of Growth

Credits: Piano by Hudson Gardner, Fire cracklings by fire, Wind by Earth Untitled Trackless trackless mountain cloud what do I ask to be? To be you, to be you. Coming—going into nothing what do I ask to see? To see you, to see you. Trackless trackless mountain path where do I ask to go? To find you, to find you. Trackless trackless meadow of flowers What do I ask of you? To believe you. To believe you. Does it ever feel, to you, like you are doing what you were made to do?...



Listen for a few thoughts and the story of this poem, Metamorphosis, from a sunny porch in Forest Grove, Oregon. Metamorphosis Bombus— russet-back grasping with black arms climbs inside a red flower which is dying in a plastic tray. Midsummer, low water Soil dry Sun hot Dead leaves, yellow stalk But the red flower is blooming Frayed edges of its curling petals Last sugar from the rootbound base blooms at the top— Bee dives down, struggling deep All covered in golden pollen No matter is...


Coming Into Contact With Ourselves - Beau Vandendolder On Wilderness

Thanks for tuning in to this edition of Grass Journal, titled: Coming Into Contact With Ourselves. In this episode I discuss wilderness with Beau Vandendolder. He is a doctor of Classical Chinese Medicine, licensed acupuncturist, and Alexander Technique practitioner. He is also a dear friend, though I have seen him only sporadically over the five years we have known each other. He and I have one of those rare connections that seems to not rely on having to see each other that much. I've...


The Wilderness Within

Beautiful intro music by Anna Pallotta, cover of Regina Spektor Dear anyone, I hope the world isn't hurting you too much these days. What have you been up to? Today the sun came in through the clouds and the south facing windows. It made me remember how important it is to notice things like that. For a span of time, to have just a few thoughts of my own. But, I know you have felt a lot of that lately. Being alone has been the theme lately. As I looked at the lonely looking clouds I...


Spider Ballooning - And why is the rent so expensive?

Dear subscribers, You can find my podcast on all major platforms now. Also, every episode will also be sent out on this newsletter. Here are some links: Spotify • iTunes • ListenNotes • Google • TuneIn Last week, I sat down at my birch table and recorded this episode more or less on accident in the bright late October sun. Things discussed Community How spiders move in the fall Rent Rootedness Paying attention to beauty This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this...


Taos, Being Born

Sangre De Cristo Mountains above Taos This newsletter is now a podcast too. I will send an email when the podcast is available on all podcast platforms. I also have a donate button on the bottom of this post. I have often felt confused in my life about how I fit into the world as an artist. Or in simpler terms, how my ideals can coexist with a world that is inevitably not ideal. Partly, the confusion I feel is about finding my place, my work. While I know what matters to me, I've had a...