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The Longer Road

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For people with multiple marginalized identities who may feel behind because they’ve had to work harder to overcome structural barriers. We‘re providing hope, support, and knowing that you‘re not alone.

Location:

United States

Description:

For people with multiple marginalized identities who may feel behind because they’ve had to work harder to overcome structural barriers. We‘re providing hope, support, and knowing that you‘re not alone.

Language:

English


Episodes

Announcement: Download if you want to!

11/25/2023
Either Dec 1 '23 or Jan 1 '24, this podcast will likely be moving elsewhere. There's a chance it'll be transferred elsewhere and you won't notice anything... but it might also just disappear and I wanted to let people download if they want to! YouTube channel which has some The Longer Road episodes Website AuDHDFlourishing.com New episodes every Friday at AuDHD Flourishing podcast

Duration:00:04:55

081 When to Stop the Self-Help

7/21/2023
I'm a naturally growth-oriented person... however, I often find myself changing or "fixing" things that others think are a problem. What happens when I reorient to what's actually important to me? The self-help industry will happily sell us solutions, whether or not the problem was actually bothering us before we heard about it. Many of us feel like we're struggling alone. But not only are most people silently struggling, many neurodivergent folks feel that they're uniquely broken. It's such a common experience! It's totally fine to choose to change something about your life. However, it can be helpful to check in with yourself to make sure it's really what you want. The questions I offered around choosing to change something (and especially purchasing a self-help product): Is this actually causing me any harm? Is it harming anyone at all? If yes, is that harm actually meaningful, or am I mostly being harmed by the shame around it? If I changed this about myself, what might "better" look like? Is that definition or desire coming from me, or suggestions outside of myself? Is paying attention to this popular "problem" keeping my attention away from anything deeply important to me? If I didn't put time, attention, or money into this, what might I want to do instead? If I never changed again, would I (still) love and accept myself? Here are the messages I need to hear: It's okay to take breaks from personal growth. It's okay to give up on changing things about yourself just because they might make other people more comfortable. It's okay to focus on what your body and mind actually want and need, whether or not those line up with messaging from people around you. I bet you're actually doing a great job with the circumstances you've been given. Even if you never change or fix another thing, I love and accept you. Cross-posted from the AuDHD Flourishing podcast

Duration:00:16:22

080 Healing Relational Trauma with Pasha Marlowe

7/14/2023
Pasha Marlowe speaks brilliantly about how to navigate trauma in relationships as an AuDHD person. Making it concrete, we both talk about a recent meltdown with our respective partners, and how we navigated those during and after. This is a deeply un-shaming episode—we still struggle with relational trauma despite all the "work" we've done. It's okay to have a lot of needs in relationships. And we talk about how hard it can be to figure out what those are and communicate them effectively. If your neurodivergent relationship needs extra support, Pasha is one of the rare practitioners who's ND, trained in family therapy, and works with couples! Episode originally posted on the AuDHD Flourishing podcast. Resources mentioned: Pasha's website Neuroqueering podcast and Mattia's guest episode @neuroqueercoach on TikTok @neuroqueercoach on Instagram Neuroqueer Heresies book

Duration:00:46:20

079 Autism Without the Disorder with Nat Smith

7/7/2023
Nat Smith is a vulnerability coach, playwright, and connection witch. They're also my sibling, so you'll hear stories about our childhood. Nat has known they're ADHD for years, and only recently has been exploring the label autistic. One reason it's been a slow realization: they don't experience it as a disorder and don't need a lot of external support day-to-day. Because of that experience, we also touch on the "levels" of autism currently being given in diagnosis. Many Level 1 folks are never diagnosed. And while I would probably be labeled Level 1, I'm actually more Level 2... I've just managed to have family and partners meet my daily needs. Nat's perspective is incredibly helpful for anyone who wonders what autism looks like when it's NOT an obviously disabling condition. This is where the word "Neurotype" is so useful! Disclaimer: And I would hope it goes without saying... every autistic person is different and has their own experience! Many if not most autistic people (and especially those who receive an official diagnosis) do experience autism as a disability for many reasons. Nat's experience does not at all detract from that! AND I feel it's important for more autistic people to be "out," even if they have a less common presentation. Originally recorded for the AuDHD Flourishing podcast. Resources: Nat mentioned Devon Price's book Laziness Does Not Exist and the article of the same name. Nat's Substack newsletter/articles Nat's Facebook AuDHD Flourishing newsletter

Duration:00:53:21

078 Why I Hate ”Potential”

6/29/2023
The idea of "potential" has been weaponized against neurodivergent and disabled kids. Today I dig into why I hate the concept of potential as it's currently used, what I propose we talk about instead, and many personal details of my own journey toward feeling like I'm enough. Feeling a deep sense of enough-ness has totally changed my life. And while we all reach that in different ways, neurodivergent community has absolutely been a part of my healing journey. Love Your Brain July-Nov 2023 cohort (official last day to apply is Thurs June 29th... but also I understand the ADHD brain and we have a few days of leeway as the first group call is the week of July 7th)

Duration:00:37:07

077 Autistic Pride Day

6/23/2023
Cross-posted from the AuDHD Flourishing podcast. What are you proud of? It doesn't negate any of our challenges, but it was fun to focus on what I love about my brain for a whole episode. If you'd like to learn more about Love Your Brain, here 'tis!

Duration:00:27:42

076 Not Just a Compliant Patient with Kristen King

6/16/2023
Cross-posted from the new AuDHD Flourishing podcast! AuDHD women are often misdiagnosed, but Kristen's list is ridiculous and includes the word "histrionic" (which I didn't know you could even get in this century)! Her goal was always to build an awesome life instead of just being a compliant patient. And thank goodness, because now she's out here teaching people how to give fewer fucks, raising a family, and making awesome content all over the internet. Find Kristen at https://kristenking.com/ Love Your Brain is enrolling for July (and is 20% full as of posting this episode)

Duration:00:43:58

075 Fighting Autistic Stereotypes & Stigma with Thomas Henley

6/9/2023
Thomas Henley makes amazing autistic content that educates, normalizes, and actively pushes back against stereotypes and stigma. This includes his podcast, Thoughty Auti - The Autism Podcast, on which I was recently a guest talking about AuDHD. Thomas has made multiple decisions in his life to combat stereotypes, including months of backpacking, and becoming a world-class martial artist, both of which he talks about today. We also touch on what some of the lingering stereotypes are! I highly recommend the autistic-affirming spaces Thomas has created around his content, which you can find at: Thoughty Auti - The Autism Podcast @thomashenleyUK on Instagram & TikTok Website: thomashenley.co.uk

Duration:01:01:20

074 Safe Therapy for Neurodivergent People with Danielle Aubin

6/2/2023
Finally, an autistic therapist on the podcast! Danielle Aubin, LCSW, works with neurodivergent clients and has expertise in trauma. We talk about why trauma is such a big deal for ND clients. And the title of the episode comes from Danielle's amazing take on why having safe therapy is especially important for ND people, and what that looks like. If you're neurodivergent and in or thinking about therapy, this episode is for you! Danielle's website Danielle's TikTok @myautistictherapist Danielle's Instagram @presenceperinatal Find a neurodivergent therapist in your state at ndtherapists.com

Duration:00:52:04

073 Helping Anxious Bodies Feel Safe

5/26/2023
Bodies often hold subtle tension because our system is checking for cues of safety 3-4 times per second. "Orienting to safety" is a tiny, easy practice you can modify to your circumstances in order to tell the brain that it's relatively safe right now. Doing this regularly over time has a cumulative effect. This episode brought to you by two people in two days telling me how helpful this practice has been to them! (In short, you look all around you, including checking exits, looking below/above/behind to tell your instinct-brain that there are no tigers here) Learn more about how emotions are shorthand to get the body to take action in Episode 9, Feelings: Why?? Connect with Lilia for the June 8th Expressive Arts workshop, or to hear about future ones by messaging them on Instagram @flying_umbrella_studios

Duration:00:17:33

072 Your Body is Not a Vending Machine

5/19/2023
Unfortunately, we can't simply put in the "correct" input and get what we want out of our body. Bodies are complex systems. And if you're disabled, your body may feel more like a slot machine!

Duration:00:09:18

071 Living Identity Over Labels with dom chatterjee

5/12/2023
dom chatterjee shares about the paradox between having intersectional identities about which he could talk about for an hour... and also wanting to just show up as themself in new interactions. This episode is so incredibly relatable for anyone who has both visible and invisible identities that are important to them. dom founded and runs the org Rest For Resistance, focused on QTPoC mental health. Connect at: IG @qtpocmentalhealth Twitter @qtpoc Facebook @QTPoC Mental Health and @Rest for Resistance Mentioned at end: Share your feedback about content to shape this and the new AuDHD podcast Thanks to the listener who asked about making a one-time donation! You can do that at Venmo or PayPal.

Duration:00:51:35

070 10 Ways I’m Handling BIG Feelings

5/5/2023
10 things I've been doing to handle the big feelings moving through me these days. And a bonus 11th one that maybe isn't the most adaptive... but I'm trying to be okay, not perfect ;) If you need immediate support, you can text HOME to 741741 to talk to a crisis counselor. Or visit the Crisis Text Line website. And if you'd like to give feedback about content you like in general, and/or this podcast, you can do that here anonymously.

Duration:00:21:17

069 Being an AuDHD Writer with Caitlin Fisher

4/28/2023
Caitlin returns to talk about being an AuDHD (autistic + ADHD, like Mattia) working writer. They hadn't read their own published book from a few years ago because they were worried about the few points on which they'd changed their mind. Turns out the book is good. That story blows my mind! I'm so happy that more AuDHD folks are out there talking about their process and doing awesome stuff! Connect with Caitlin on Instagram @caitlinlizfisher Facebook: Neurodivergent Creative Pod The Creatives Rebellion Working Title Writing Incubator

Duration:00:47:26

068 Rebellious Enjoyment Pt 2 with Deb Malkin

4/21/2023
Today we talk about what pleasure and enjoyment look like in a body that's accustomed to discomfort. Deb is an expert in pain and stress relief, and I love how candidly they talk about their own experiences with their own body and aging. It is rebellious to enjoy pleasure without seeking to "fix" yourself according to society's standards first. This is part 2 of a 2-part episode. Deb Malkin is a feminist mind/body coach, specializing in using the tools of neuro + bioplasticity and consciously curious hypno-coaching to help people unlearn pain and emotional stress symptoms in order to feel better and pursue their amazing lives. Connect with Deb at movewithdeb.com Instagram @movewithdeb And of course Move With Deb the Podcast

Duration:00:29:24

067 Rebellious Enjoyment Pt 1 with Deb Malkin

4/14/2023
Today we talk about what pleasure and enjoyment look like in a body that's accustomed to discomfort. Deb is an expert in pain and stress relief, and I love how candidly they talk about their own experiences with their own body and aging. It is rebellious to enjoy pleasure without seeking to "fix" yourself according to society's standards first. This is part 1 of a 2-part episode. Deb Malkin is a feminist mind/body coach, specializing in using the tools of neuro + bioplasticity and consciously curious hypno-coaching to help people unlearn pain and emotional stress symptoms in order to feel better and pursue their amazing lives. Connect with Deb at movewithdeb.com Instagram @movewithdeb And of course Move With Deb the Podcast

Duration:00:38:15

066 Trusting Body & Pleasure With C-PTSD with Stefanie Nielsen

4/7/2023
The day-to-day of living with complex-PTSD can be challenging, especially on our close relationships. Stefanie speaks beautifully about how she navigates her life while recovering from religious trauma. Her helpful details around how she uses her body awareness and communication to improve her relationship helped Mattia, too! Connect with Stefanie: Website: https://strengthdiscovered.com/ Instagram @strengthdiscovered TikTok @strengthdiscovered Podcast Strength Discovered

Duration:00:50:37

065 Fat Truth with Sophia Apostol

3/31/2023
It's easy to grow up with basically 0% scientifically correct information about what fatness means. And we're trained to look at fat bodies and make a bunch of assumptions. Sophia Apostol, host of the Fat Joy podcast, is here to share about the TRUTH of both lived experience and some science. And for more science, please go listen to these episodes of the Fat Joy podcast that we mentioned: Weight Loss Companies are 100% Lying to You with Ragen Chastain Compassionate and Respectful Medical Care with Dr. Vicky Borgia Changing Anti-Fatness in Medical School with Anne McGladdery Connect with Sophia: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fatjoy.life/YouTube: https://youtube.com/@fatjoyTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fatjoypodcastWebsite: http://www.fatjoy.lifePatreon: http://patreon.com/fatjoy

Duration:00:54:38

064 You Were Not a Bad Child

3/24/2023
You may have internalized the message as a child that there was something wrong or bad about you. Today's message is simple: You were not a bad child. You deserved love and support in a way that made sense to you.

Duration:00:15:01

063 Rethinking Change and Healing Work

3/17/2023
Capitalism has convinced us we have a lot of problems that we need to pay to fix. Surface-level problems usually have a product you can buy to "fix" them. Deep problems, such as feeling unworthy, don't have an easy fix. If you are seeking to change or heal something, some general approaches I've seen work really well are: Having it reflected back to you that this is totally normal and understandable Unconditional positive regard Embodiment Reframing Increasing safety Being in this moment ...while keeping in mind that all of these work when applied with self-kindness and no shame. There is nothing wrong with you. Diving deeper in some previous episodes: Episode 10, No Perfect Method, about what works for you right now and how to trust your own intuition around teachings and teachers Episode 5, Movement Meditation to Feel Safe (accessing embodiment, increasing safety, and being in this moment) Episode 43, Why Change Feels Uncomfortable, about why both slow and fast change can feel uncomfortable...and more about why there's nothing wrong with you! Some of the questions in this episode: Who says this is a problem? Might this be external to me? Is this voice saying it's a problem really coming from within me, or is it the voice of someone from my past or a societal voice? In what world would this NOT be a problem? What supports or accommodations would make this not a big deal at all? Where can you get integration support? Where can you genuinely support yourself? When do you need just a little boost? And if you would like some one-on-one support to Get Unstuck, I offer sliding scale pricing for sessions.

Duration:00:38:03