Simply Enough

Have you ever felt pressure to give the Perfect Gift? Or thought a gift you received was lacking? But there are Gifts in everything, all around us. The value of a gift is not about “the thing” It’s about the thought and intent from the giver. The price paid for a gift isn’t always monetary, but instead could be time, talent or sincere thought. From baguettes to body wash, it’s not the physical gift but the intangible sentiment that is of priceless value. Rather than being caught up in the checklist of gift giving, look away from the object and instead see the connection between the giver and receiver as the gift that keeps on giving.

How do the holidays make you feel? Do you aim for a Hallmark romanticized tableau, or embrace the messy, funny imperfections? A change of expectations and perspective can change the experience, embracing not just the nostalgia, but the creation of new memories too! The holidays come from your Light within, rather than external. Let go of activities on an idealized to-do list, to experience and extend the simple, distilled reasons for the season— peace, love, joy, faith and hope, really and actually.

Have you ever felt the pressure, or the letdown, from wanting the holidays to be perfect? But the holidays can come alive more as feelings in one’s heart, rather than outer events. Build upon the foundation of sentiments that make a holiday real. The universal language of gratitude is contagious and life giving! Rather than one day on the calendar, live a life of Thanks-living, thinking of specific things from boogers to moo-cows, and the family you were given and the family you’ve chosen and gained. You won’t look at things the same way when you see life through the lens of gratitude.

Have you ever been frustrated with traffic, or even have momentary road rage? Did you know your car can be a great classroom of life? Ironically, one can learn to find joy at the same time of feeling frustrated, because switching perspectives can change a situation and environment completely. With life lessons in traffic, we can remember that we can't control others, and practice not taking things personally, and develop the skill of evaluating what our reactions are and how they might affect outcome. We can learn to let things go and choose our own path by our priorities -- that faster isn't always better, and that different sometimes is just different; not right, wrong, better or worse. Even with detours, rumble strips and unfortunate accidents, you can follow the still small voice of your inner GPS, to have peace transcend rage, and be in the driver's seat of your life to enjoy the journey.

Have you ever reasoned or talked yourself out of something you really want? Cerebral thoughts in the head can explain away the pull of what's going on in the heart. But not everything has to be by-the-book, or have a rational purposeful "Because" as an answer to the "Why". Affirm when it's ok to the moved by the heart, and not just led by the head. Sometimes, that internal pull of "I want to" is a good enough reason to left go of resistance. The still small voice inside you can get louder, because it's actually You taking care of You, affirming you are simply enough, just as you are.

Have you ever felt like your life was just the same ol' routine? Do you wish there was something to give you that jolt of adrenaline rush and surge of energy? Being scared can be uncomfortable, but can also be exciting! Sometimes, our own internal need for control, safety and self-protection can hold us back and keep us from testing our sense of living and feeling fully alive. Rather than avoidance, you can approach and move towards what exhilarates you. Recognize what thrills you, and find ways to incorporate more of that in your life, because a life over-safe can be a life under-lived.

Have you ever felt low, or on edge, after watching tv, scrolling social media, or listening to the news? Have you looked at what you're consuming? Just like food is nutrition for physical health, then for emotional and mental health, examine what you ingest and allow in too. Be mindful of what lifts versus what weighs down your spirit. Take control and be the subject, not the object, of your life sentences. You are your own chef de cuisine. Habitual thoughts don't have to be permanent if they're unhealthy junk food; old habitual choices can be replaced, perspectives can be reframed, and your palate can be changed. Separate the sustenance from the spoilage, to taste and savor life to nourish your soul.

Have you ever been swept up into other people's stormy situations, engrossed in their drama? Is that the best way to be helpful? Other people's energies can swirl around but you can stay grounded in peace, to be of service. Taking on drama won't necessarily mitigate it. Misery loves company, but commiserating might actually perpetuate the storm. You can have compassion and empathy for their reality without taking on their emotional state. By being mindful and taking inventory of priorities and values, you can triage where your energy and focus are directed rather than scattered-- because the energy vampires can be people externally, but also from the slavedriver of one's own self. Give yourself permission and prescription to protect, restore and renew your grounded center.

Has anyone imposed their opinions on you, or projected their emotions on you? Or have you ever done that to someone else? Opinions aren't facts, whether they come from others or come from your Self, yet it's easy to believe opinions as unwavering truth. Don't take other people's impressions and limiting opinions as your own lived experience. Don't stop yourself or hold yourself back based on someone else's projected self-limiting beliefs. Go with the belief that You Can, even when naysayers say you can't. You can listen to others. then put a little distance between someone else's opinion and your own, and then you can consider and decide, and choose to create YOUR experience. Life is to be lived experientially, not vicariously as if by proxy.

Did you ever feel unpopular, or not one of the “cool kids” or outside the social hierarchy? Have you ever felt taken for granted, or, have you ever been the taker? Is it true we become the average of the 5 people with whom we spend the most time? Listen to the voice inside you that knows who you are and is guiding you, and align with those with whom you respond positively. Reflect on the time you devote to certain people. Friendships can reveal how you see people around you as well as be a benchmark of self respect and self-revelation. You can choose with intention what’s a right fit for you, where you feel a sense of belonging and who’s in your Inner Circle.

Have you ever berated yourself? What do you say? Do words of self doubt reverberate in your head? We are constantly sending messages to ourselves and to others. Talk to yourself like you would to a beloved friend. Feel free to debate yourself rather than swallow the negative soliloquy. Condemning words are like self-inflicted wounds with the salt of shame being rubbed in it. With affirming self talk, replace the double-negative of compounding shame and blame. Words matter, but words don’t teach— practiced experience does.

Have you ever felt lost, navigating transitions in your life? Events and situations can feel herky-jerky at times, but if you can acknowledge the suck and also know that it won’t always feel this way, you can love and grieve at the same time. Feeling comfortable and safe isn’t always what best serves you. You can go beyond a wish and act on a hope, to not only transition, but transform and transcend anything that comes your way!

As a kid, did you ever have an old curmudgeon of a teacher, and you swore you would never grow up to be like that person? Or, as an adult now, do you look at younger generations with disdain, while they look at you and say “ok, Boomer”? There’s a lot we can learn from youth— from their open-mindedness, and their shameless willingness to say “I don’t know, but let me try”. Learning isn’t just wisdom passed down from the old, but also comes from novel fresh experiences and perspectives. Don’t let the wisdom of age be wasted, nor the joy of youth. We’re all students of life, and the world is our classroom!

Have you ever felt like Adulting is sooooo hard? It can be, but it isn’t always difficult, and it’s not the only way to feel, right? Don’t let yourself get stuck in the mud of those thoughts, or think the grass is perennially greener with youth. Accepting seasons of challenge allows seasons of ease to be that much more enjoyable!

From the devastating tragedy of the fires in Maui comes clarity of what really is most important and most valuable in life. Also, in its aftermath, there were many demonstrations of how people can come together and demonstrate what kindness and generosity look like, rallying to do whatever it takes and whatever is needed to care for others. The immediacy of resiliency, figuring out what can we do and what do we have that we can give allows us to extend the Aloha Spirit wherever we are.

Amidst the tragedy of loss from the Maui fires, the resilience, generosity, and sense of community have been inspiring, and puts into perspective what really matters in life. Have you ever felt like you were constantly chasing "more"? Yet, we are more than our possessions, acquisitions, accumulations, and titles, and Enough is actually a choice we control. Looking at what we have and being grateful, rather than what we're missing frees us for living and experiencing, instead of numbing and buffering. Living fulfilled rather than filling a void; addition by subtraction, rather than distraction.

Have you ever driven yourself mad from wishing things were different? Not accepting things in the moment as they are, or yourself as you are, is the root of stress. We are all works in progress and living in real-time. Life doesn't have to be curated or edited. Just do things anyway. It's ok to have a "round two" or another trial. Accepting things isn't about being complacent. It's coming to a place of peace to find contentment, to then move from the current situation. And more important than a moment is your identity of who you are. It's not about shape-shifting. It's about showing up and valuing yourself just as you are... and then what? :)

Have you ever dreaded your To Do list? There are actually tools to take control and trick your mind to get through the list to get the job done. Dare we say, you can actually even laugh and make light of your list, rather than rely on pure willpower. You can be inspired rather than motivated, and pulled rather than pushed to see things through to fruition.

Have you ever regretted holding yourself back, or kicked yourself with the thought “if only I had …” ? Delete the narrative you tell yourself that keeps you from being bold! A missed opportunity is a bigger deal than the fear of a little temporary awkwardness, embarrassment or rejection. Practice recognizing the opportunity of Now, and embolden yourself, to ask and go after what you want. Weigh the risks of not doing and not trying, and the regret of things you didn’t do over what you did do. Go for it!

Have you ever felt blah and needed a pick-me-up? Need a cure for feeling meh? Being mindful and present with the sensations you're feeling can give moments of reset. Recognize the weights we carry that are heavy and buffer or pull us down rather than uplift us. Then have a refreshed start. Show up for yourself and start small, to overcome inertia, and fuel momentum to be uplifted. Eschew simulations because "there ain't nothin like the real thing, baby", and instead of shutting people out, let them in and ask for help and be with others. And even if you're not ready for mirth and laughter, move forward to a place of peace.