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Survive the Robot Uprising

We thought we wouldn't have to worry about the robot apocalypse for at LEAST five or six more years. But between laughing Alexa, stripper-bots, and all the inexplicably ill-informed madness happening at the stupid idiot labs of Boston Dynamics, we can't put it off any longer. The robots are coming, and we need to get busy destroying 'em or get busy serving 'em. Either way, our survival is key.


Celebrate St. Patrick's Day Without Throwing Up On Everything

In one of our timeless, instant-classic holiday episodes, we talk about the pitfalls of St. Patrick's Day, including not-awful alternatives to awful green beer and the history of Druids and Irish ghosts. It's a pretty stellar episode. Turn up your ears and learn how to celebrate St. Paddy's Day like a real grown-up adult person!


Get a Massage, and Don't be Weird About It

Massages are supposed to be why do they give us so much anxiety? This week, the Smiths take on the many discomforts of getting naked with a stranger and saying, "Put your hands all over me." They teach you how to overcome any massage-related issue, and they've got some pretty good advice about saunas, too.


Handle Credit Card Debt Like a Brave Hero

Find on Apple Podcasts Find on Stitcher We got a letter from a listener who wanted to know just how scared he should be about getting his first solo credit card. And boy, did we run with that. In this episode, we talk credit scores, smart strategies for paying down huge debt, and how to get credit card companies to pay YOU! We don't want to brag, but it's a severely adult-ish episode.


Face Winter Weather Like a Grown-Up Hero

Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Stitcher It’s cold. It is just unbelievably, and endlessly, cold. Unless you live somewhere warm, in which case, we politely invite you to just kiss right off. ‘Cause we’re cold. Just unbelievably, and endlessly, cold. Fortunately, the Smiths have some tips on how to bear the cold weather, and they even visit the fellows from The Victor Bar in Chicago to ask about some special winter weather cocktails that can warm your subzero spirits!


Bear and Raise Children Without Causing Irreparable Harm

Listen on Apple Podcasts Listen on Stitcher The decision to become a parent is a big one. There's a lot to consider, like "Will I cause accidental and irreparable lifelong harm to the emotional state of a real human person?" The Smiths grapple with the challenges and rewards of having babies, along with the help of a very special guest, professional father and podcaster Travis McElroy!


Disneyland Like an Adult

It's hard to really appreciate Disneyland when you're a kid, and when you're a parent, it's like, ugh, now I have to go on all the baby rides with my kid, ugh. The best way to go to Disneyland is to go by your own childless self! It's not creepy! This week, the Smiths discuss their wasted youths, the much less magical theme parks that their parents dragged them to as kids, and the best ways to enjoy Disneyland like a grown-up, along with the help of best-selling author and Disneyland...


Be a Better Valentine. Or Don't. We Don't Really Care.

[FAIR WARNING, this episode gets more explicit than most, in some really strange and surprising ways. But don't blame us. Blame our guest.] Valentine's Day is pretty much the worst, and anyone who likes it is dumb. That said, we've got some great tips on how to be a better Valentine, and we also have a thing or two to say about the traditional V-Day practice of beating virgins with goat skins. Those Romans, man. They were into some kinky stuff. And hey, if you don't have a Valentine's...


Get a Room of Your Own

Look, we can't all just be in everyone else's space, like, all the time. Sometimes we have to get away into our own little hovels of secrecy and leave-me-aloneness. Those are the places where we can get creative, blow off some steam, or just take a breath surrounded by our very cool Batman figurines THAT ARE ACTION FIGURES, NOT DOLLS, MOM! The Smiths discuss the importance of having your own space, along with some ideas on how to fill that space, and they talk with Nic Parks, CEO of The...


Behave Yourself at the Bar

It's hard to behave well at the bar. We know it's not your fault, it's alcohol's fault. Almost everything is alcohol's fault. But as adults, we should all take steps to be better bar-goers. That doesn't just mean not getting into fights and not vomiting on the floor (although those are very, very important). Good behavior goes way beyond that. We'll prove it with the help of Kelsey Kellgren, bartender at Kasey's, one of Chicago's oldest and most cherished beer bars! Click here to explore...


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