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Best Friend Simulator

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A weekly podcast with Josh and Denis, two best friends talking about stuff. Sometimes aliens.

A weekly podcast with Josh and Denis, two best friends talking about stuff. Sometimes aliens.
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A weekly podcast with Josh and Denis, two best friends talking about stuff. Sometimes aliens.




Episode 27: Hey Ricky, Is This Fast Enough For You?

Topics include: WE HATE BAD REVIEWS, listener feedback, bad fashion, Denis can’t come up with Neil Hamburger’s name, Josh has eBay issues, Denis is shopping for houses, BFS News Minute: Footprints on Mars, more sabotage!, Denis has soft hair, and RIP Meshach Taylor Our apologies for: so much anger towards a listener


Episode 26: Any Occasion With Dracula Is A Special Occasion

Topics include: our feelings about Aerosmith, weird Olympics voices, BFS Social Media Fun Fact, trying to get celebrity guests, Josh has been watching Doomsday Preppers and Cat TV, Denis had his improv show and the BFs do some improv scenes! Our apologies for: nothing. We really knocked it out of the park on this one


Episode 25: “I Would Know More of This Space Monkey Mafia”/ The Alien Grave of Aurora, Texas

Topics include: Monkey talk, Josh’s birthday celebration, Denis’ improv class & lost time, winter comes to Seattle, Incredible Hulk TV show chat and what makes us Hulk-out, and an installment of Josh’s Curious Crypts/Mysterious Mausoleums about “The Alien Grave of Aurora, Texas” Our apologies for: Josh’s inability to make up fake names


Episode 24: Some Kind of Zombie Turducken Situation

Topics include: Josh’s birthday, more public restroom complaints, Josh is concerned about oversharing, weird smells, a new segment: “What Brings You Joy?”, and the BFS News Minute on former Canadian Minister of National Defense and the Illuminati Our apologies for: going off the rails.


Episode 23: You Are Bag/ Patient Seventeen Review

Topics include: Josh shaved!, Josh has a robot, we care about sound quality (surprisingly), More sports talk, Valentine’s Day, Rap Snacks & Candy Hearts, Update: LISTENER DEBATE, and Denis & Josh review Patient Seventeen, a new Netflix doc about alien implants Our apologies for: Denis sighing a lot


Episode 22: The Going Rate For Potassium/ The Dover Demon

The Going Rate For Potassium Topics include: Josh & Denis celebrate sports!, Denis at the deli, why can’t people follow the rules, Decision 2018, Josh finds out how much he’s worth dead, BFS Investigative Journalism, Josh takes us to Cryptid Country to discuss the Dover Demon Our apologies for: Denis being so angry


Episode 21: Endless 9/11 Commemorative Coins In Your Ballsack

Topics include: Josh gets a podcasting injury, lookin’ at the numbers, R.I.P. Jack Ketchum and more celebrity death talk, Denis sees weird people, Talkin’ about grossness and a sexy secret, Denis has a Super Bowl dilemma, Josh loves donkeys and bears, and Josh gives Denis permission to wear his skin Our apologies for: mouth noises


Episode 20: Morgellons Syndrome With Special Guest Jamie!

Topics include: What won’t Meatloaf do?, our special guest Jamie gives us a list of things she has had to say to Josh, talkin’ bout neighbors, Philly’s greased poles, and Jamie’s favorite conspiracy/unexplained/internet thing Morgellons Disease Our apologies for: on-air kissing


Episode 19: Heiniesight is 20/20 / Gang Stalking Part 2

Topics include: Denis once got holes in his feet, the world has gone off the rails, Josh’s boy Jeff Bezos, Denis has stupid thoughts and took a trip to a weird pharmacy, Josh’s Sexy Secret, R.I.P. Fast Eddie Clark and an argument about celebrity deaths, and part 2 of our conversation about gang stalking Our apologies for: “sex fingers”, all the Viagra talk, and for Denis being kinda jerky and insensitive


Episode 18: 50 Year Old Bigfoot Ninja Josh and Wasteland-Ripped Marauder Gang Court Jester Denis/ Gang Stalking part 1

Topics include: Meet our new cohost, hear about our trip together and some fails, we love ferries, Josh’s dog Spuds, what will we do in the post-apocalypse (and prison), update on Josh’s war on ants, and a new edition of Conspiracy Corner, where we discuss gang stalking and targeted individuals. Our apologies for: Josh’s audio. (Hey we’re amateurs!!) Characters: so many Bigfoots


Episode 17: Live in Seattle/ Love & Saucers and David Huggins

Topics include: Our first live episode!!, our plans for our time together, Josh knows millennials maybe too well, our in-depth review of “Love and Saucers”, including a look at the relationship between alien abductions and mental health, as well as Josh’s “awakening”, and a correction to an earlier story Characters: David Paulides (impression) Our apologies to: anyone opposed to all the “privates” talk


Episode 16: Those Mummy Flippin’ Flintknappers/ Ong’s Hat

Topics include: Crimbus gifts, planning our funerals, Scary German Lady, Philly Legends: The Bubble Fairy, Josh is home alone, Alien Alloys, BFS Road Trip, Corrections and Josh’s Chaos Dimension: Ong’s Hat, the Pine Barrens, and Joseph Matheny Characters: Sammy Squarespace (the CEO of Square Space) Link to Ong’s Hat: The Beginning


Episode 15: BFS Turns 40–Suck It!/ The Pentagon’s Declassified UFO Program and Robert Bigelow

Topics include: Too much butt talk, BFS turns 40!, Is Denis gross?, Kendrick Lamar visited by aliens, BFS News Minute: NY Times article confirming government UFO-studying agency, Robert Bigelow, and Happy Holidays! Our apologies to: Mark Hoppus


Episode 13: Do Doo Doo Do Be Happy/ Missing 411 and National Parks Disappearances Part 1

Topics include: Denis and Josh have great memories, Michelin has a baby, Old dudes have trouble with songs, please review us where you listen to podcasts!, we get excited about dumb things including car washes and The Murder Accountability Database (, Josh is really into serial killers, Swing music is the devil, Murder Daddy, and a new segment: Josh’s Disturbing Disappearances about disappearances in National Parks and Forests and Missing 411 (part 1) Characters in this...


Episode 12: “If I Turn Around and This Lion Man Kills Me…”

Topics include: Josh is still full and a Thanksgiving review, Denis’ favorite shop dude, Update on Josh’s childhood Boogie Man, We get “letters”, a conversation about nerds/nerd culture, Hoodie Talk and clothes for the “larger man” Characters on this episode include: Thanksgiving Theodore, Denis’ mom, Jarry, Jamexis, and Salandricus Apologies to: People who don’t like hearing Denis say “like” 3 million times and individuals suffering from papyrophobia


Episode 11: Ex-Best Friend Simulator Vs.Best Friend Murderer/ Stardust Ranch

Topics include: Josh is obsessed with The Magnus Archives, Bob Uecker is alive and well, UPDATE: we are NOT neosexuals, Denis complains about forms of transportation, BFS Behind The Scenes, Josh is obsessed with Tom Petty’s “Runnin’ Down A Dream” video, Josh thinks he was almost a serial killer, Josh is obsessed with murdering Denis (aka Exhibit A), Best Friend Stimulator, Josh’s Paranormal Portal Volume 6 - Stardust Ranch Our apologies to: anyone upset by Josh’s singing (again), anyone...


Episode 10: You Are Wind Beneath Wing

Topics include: Denis is sleepy, Cormac McCarthy’s salsa commercial, Denis’ day in NYC, celebrating our raunchy neosexuality, killing dads, boring dreams, Mails Hole, corrections about ghouls & ghosts, 10th episode!, two grandpas complain about kids and their music, young us vs old us, Josh’s hot take on making shows better Our apologies to: people that don’t like Josh’s singing or Denis’s boring stories


Episode 09: The Ghoul Has Done All His Scares/ John Titor, Time Traveler

Topics include: Denis thinks people think he is an asshole, Josh has the post-Halloween blues, we’re both idiots for remembering commercials and little else, Denis is home alone, Denis likes lite dad rock, sexy sax, Josh asks weird questions, Christmas Ghouls and holiday traditions, the return of Dracula, special holiday surprises, CPCGs, the first volume of MAILS HOLE, and Josh presents another volume of paranormal talk in which he changes the title yet again (this one’s about the alleged...


Episode 08: Soft Brain & Nasty Boy, or: Our Foot is Always Gonna Be Weird/ Mel’s Hole Part 2

Topics include: Josh and Denis get hostile about loudness, Josh wonders if he is a nasty boy, “dickhands” and other new curse words, oblivious people are driving the boys crazy, new segment: Sexy Secrets, occupying spaces, people who look like they’ve got a secret, “That’s it, I’m throwing you to the goblins”, review of the book Meth: It’s a Big Deal by Johnny Crackenheimer MD, trouble speaking english when it’s your only language, issues that arise when you wait a month to record a new...


Best Friend Simulator HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR 2017!

IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!! Welcome to our Halloween special, BFS Maniacs! We were fortunate enough to chat with our friends Adriane, Kettner, Jenn, Jim, and Ryann about their own real-life spooky experiences, and Josh shared one of his own! Topics include: Draculas, Little Halloween Baby Jesus, Little Man With Dad Face, Adriane’s sleep paralysis, waterbeds, snake rooms, Kettner’s JC Penny Portal to Snail Hell, Jenn’s teenage witches and milk ghosts, Jim’s stubbly shadow...


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