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Diminishing Returns

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63 - The Shallows

We already did Jaws, Ted! It's a different film! It's a very different film! It's a different shark! This week, we explore Blake Lively vehicle, The Shallows, directed by Juame Collett-Serra, then pitch our own sequels with ideas ranging from a Speed knock-off to something involving Gary Lineker going on a crisp safari... well, sort of.

Duration: 01:16:38

62 - Crank

This week, things get frantic as we look at the high-octane, Jason Statham action-movies, Crank and Crank: High Voltage. For once, Calvin has his derogatory hat on, as he takes Allen and Sol to task for liking the films. Imagine our Transformers episode in reverse.

Duration: 02:03:30

61 - You Only Live Twice

The long-awaited return to the James Bond franchise is finally here... and without wanting to sound as arrogant as Bond, himself, it might just be the best episode of the show to date. We give you some in-depth film chat, some particularly high-calibre pitches for sequels to You Only Live Twice, and, because it's a special occasion, a whopping 15 special guest stars! This week's sequel pitches include Bond getting into the #YOLO mindset from several years ago, Bond becoming a Friday the...

Duration: 01:10:23

60 - So It's Come to This: A Diminishing Returns Outtakes Show

We typically spend somewhere over 3 hours recording episodes of the show. As you can see, this is then edited down into something usually under 2 hours in length. We cut a lot of good stuff for the sake of time or purely because we're going off on too much of a tangent, so in this episode, please enjoy a whole load of all-new material that was cut from some of our classic episodes. This episode contains previously-unheard outtakes from: "It's a Wonderful Life" "M. Night Shyamalan season:...

Duration: 01:12:46

59 - Rise of the Planet of the Apes

We covered the original Planet of the Apes movies last week, so this week, we're doing the current Apes franchise (Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and War for the Planet of the Apes) starring Andy Serkis as Caesar. We also look at Tim Burton's remake because why not? As always, we cap things off by pitching our own ideas for what a new Planet of the Apes movie could be like.

Duration: 01:01:40

58 - Planet of the Apes

War of the Planet of the Apes is out this week, capping off a trilogy of snazzy, modern apes movies, but before the franchise was a surprisingly intelligent and emotionally resonant, it was a load of films in the '60s and '70s about chimp-men with coconut-faces, running around, causing chaos for people like Charlton Heston. We dive into those original films (Planet of the Apes, Beneath the Planet of the Apes, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, Conquest of the Planet of the Apes and Battle...

Duration: 01:50:24

57 - Spider-Man

Diminishing Returns returns to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which, with this week's release of Spider-Man: Homecoming, itself returns to the characters of Spider-Man and Iron Man, last seen in Captain America: Civil War. This episode takes an in-depth look at Sam Raimi's trilogy of films that helped shape the modern superhero genre (as well as, inevitably, touching on his Evil Dead movies) before getting to The Amazing Spider-Man 1 and 2 and various, cancelled Spider-Man projects.

Duration: 01:44:50

56 - Minions

The Minions are quickly assimilating themselves into all areas of life; films, games, phone covers, shampoo, cereal... and now episodes of Diminishing Returns. With Despicable Me 3 out soon, we let the Minions take over the show for a week with a look at their spin-off movie and both Despicable Me and Despicable Me 2. As always, we pitch some Minion movies of our own.

Duration: 01:15:11

55 - Transformers

In case the current heatwave didn't tip you off, you know you're deep into Summer when a new Transformers movie comes along. Transformers: The Last Knight is out this week, so we took a look at 1986's Transformers: The Movie, as well as Michael Bay's 2007 effort, Transformers, and its sequels (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Transformers: Dark of the Moon and Transformers: Age of Extinction). We also discuss things like Hollywood commercialism, Shia LaBeouf's career before he stopped...

Duration: 01:20:36

54 - Review of the Year 2017: Part 1

Happy birthday, Diminishing Returns! 1 year old today (well, last week, actually, but we wanted to cover The Mummy). In order to prevent our end of year review episode being 5 hours long, we decided to celebrate our 1-year anniversary with a look back at the last 6 months of cinema (and some films we wanted to revisit from last time). This episode contains reviews of: - Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Star Wars: Rogue One - M. Night Shyamalan's Split - Fifty Shades Darker -...

Duration: 01:57:21

53 - The Mummy

Diminishing Returns heads back to the Universal Monsters franchise (now known as Dark Universe apparently) to explore the The Mummy movies (1932's The Mummy, The Mummy's Hand, The Mummy's Tomb, The Mummy's Ghost, The Mummy's Curse, Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy, 1999's The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, The Scorpion King and The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - as well as Hammer's 1959 remake). We're not exactly sure how we feel about the new Tom Cruise movie coming out, but we talk...

Duration: 02:18:22

52 - Suicide Squad

In a Diminishing Returns first, here's an episode about a film that we did an episode tying into (yes, we've been going so long that things are going to start getting meta). If you haven't already heard it, got and listen to our Review of the Year 2016 episode, in which Calvin and Allen butt heads over whether Suicide Squad is a solid action movie or complete and utter dross. Afterwards, come back and listen to this one in order to hear Sol cast the deciding vote All before some of the...

Duration: 01:24:17

51 - Pirates of the Caribbean

In which we take a look at all four films in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise (The Curse of the Black Pearl, Dead Man's Chest, At World's End and On Stranger Tides) in the run up to Dead Men Tell No Tales / Salazar's Revenge (depending on where you live). Lots of talk of pirates, Johnny Depp, zombies, monkeys... pretty much anything and everything you could want... ...and, as always, we pitch our own ideas for what the sequel should be. This week, Sol and Allen actually pitch real...

Duration: 01:48:57

50 - Alien season: The Prometheus Unology

Alien season concludes with our Prometheus episode. If you missed the last two week's, we highly recommend listening to the entire trilogy as we cover the real Alien movies (the quadrilogy), the shit Alien movies (vs. Predator) and, this week, the sort of in-the-middle Alien movie (Prometheus). Opinions on this one vary between the group (spoiler alert: Calvin loves it, Sol and Allen hate it), so there's some great back and forth and discussion, not to mention a chance to hear Calvin's...

Duration: 01:13:21

47 - Guardians of the Galaxy

Guardians of the Galaxy, the bad boy of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, is discussed in the latest edition of Diminishing Returns, which looks at its place within the superhero genre as a whole, the meteoric rise of Chris Pratt (as well as the work of other cast members Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, John C. Reilly, Benecio Del Toro and Howard the Duck), and, as always what Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 might have been, with three pitches for alternative sequels.

Duration: 00:59:15

46 - Psycho

This week, we take a stab at Calvin's favourite film of all time (Psycho) and its surprisingly many sequels and off-shoots (Psycho II, Psycho III, Bates Motel - the TV movie, Psycho IV: The Beginning, Psycho - the Gus Van Sant / Vince Vaughn remake and Bates Motel - the TV series). The sequel pitches are also particularly on form here, as Calvin dusts off an old Psycho sequel idea he had as a youth, Allen pitches a very different TV series based on the films and Sol takes the podcast into...

Duration: 01:36:03

45 - The Fast and the Furious

The Fast and the Furious franchise (The Fast and the Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Fast and Furious, Fast Five, Furious 6 and Furious Seven) shows no signs of slowing down any time soon, and with the impending release of The Fate of the Furious (aka Fast and Furious 8), we decided to take a retroactive look at the franchise and do the usual thing of pitching our own sequels to the films. Topics include the differences between Vin Diesel and Dwayne 'The Rock'...

Duration: 01:47:38

44 - Tremors

This week, we take a break from the huge blockbuster fare that's been dominating our output lately and focus in on this classic B-movie franchise starting with 1990's Kevin Bacon vehicle: Tremors and followed by a number of sequels (Tremors II: Aftershocks, Tremors 3: Back to Perfection, Tremors 4: The Legend Begins and Tremors 5: Bloodlines, not to mention a SyFy TV series, an upcoming Tremors 6 and an upcoming Amazon original series). Listen through headphones in order to minimise risk...

Duration: 01:25:45

43 - Ghost in the Shell

Our love of discussing films where an actor portrays a character of another race culminates here, in an episode focused on Ghost in the Shell, the seminal 1995 anime adaptation of the manga of the same name and, also, the upcoming live-action remake starring Scarlett Johansson. Is the old film any good? Does the new film look any good? How many puns based on the title can we think of? All of these questions are addressed and more in yet another thrilling installment of Diminishing Returns.

Duration: 01:20:03

42 - Power Rangers

Go, go Diminishing Returns! Power Rangers will soon find new life in the movie of the same name, so we felt it apt to look back to our nostalgia (or lack of, depending on which host you're talking about) for the series, compiled from a re-edited Japanese series, Super Sentai, combined with new footage featuring American 'teens'. As always, we round things off by pitching our own takes on what the new Power Rangers movie should have looked like.

Duration: 00:59:04

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