This week on Masturhaters the gang shoots of some spicy hot takes about the parkland school shooting. Jon looks at the dark underbelly of nature. Chris wants illegal immigrants to assimilate better into the country. Ron is sick of whiny shit bags who complain about valentines day. Alyssa riffs on how difficult it is to maintain personal relationships.
On this episode of Masturhaters, Jon shit talks YouTube fuck boi Adam Calhoun for being an unfunny douche. We explain what rape is to Chris again. Alyssa is sick of ignorant Americans. Cara hates Halloween costume drama in January. Ron thinks your cliff hammock makes you look like a dick.
On this episode of Masturhaters, Chris hates that he can't jerk off without pornography. Jon is frustrated by the amount of option he has for every aspect of his life. Alyssa can't stand happy people. Ron is tired of millennial's with rugrats tattoos, grow up fggts.
The long awaited return of The Jon & Chris Show. Jon and Chris judge #metoo stories and play a game of rape or nah. The two go over some of the more prominent stories in the news including Youtuber Logan Paul's infamous suicide forest video and Donald Trumps shithole countries comment. Also they launch their new anti rape hashtag campaign #protectyourcunt.
On the first recorded episode of 2018 the Masturhaters Reunite! Chris thinks senile people don't have a right to exist, Ron thinks your fake meat recipe is just a shitty salad, Cara hates Christmas lights, Jon Saves Chris's life billions and billions and billions and billions and billions and billions of times, and Alyssa is sick of braggy moms and their ugly kids.
On this episode of Masturhaters, Chris returns and hates his job again. Ron hates nerds who cosplay at movie openings, Alyssa is entranced by Facebook live stream pearl parties. Jon thinks man caves are shit, and joins the fight for fifteen after dealing with a faulty McDonalds kiosk.
On this episode of Masturhaters Jon think breakfast is a hoax being pushed by big breakfast companies to sell your fat ass more jimmy dean sausages you fucking losers. Ron tells us all how he will throw you under the fucking bus if you steal from his dumb job. Cara doesn't give a shit if you were raped by her favorite celebrity,and Alyssa shares the plight of the pregnant woman in modern America. fuck you!
On this episode of Masturhaters, Cara doesn't understand forum rules. Ron's fingers are all buttery from delicious mall pretzels, Alyssa thinks ASMR videos are creepy. Jon thinks rape kits are archaic and out of date and are intrusive to people who have been recently victimized.
On this Episode Of Masturhaters, Chris questions the will to live of people who die in forest fires. Alyssa has an existential crisis. Cara weighs in on the controversy of Christmas taking up too much of the year. Ron tells us how to deal with unfunny shit-lords, Jon rails on male "feminists" using the exposure of the "me too" moment to virtue signal to women in a weak attempt to get laid.
On this episode of Masturhaters Jon tells a tale from behind the bar, and expresses why the words "Donald Trump" are a curse on any form of communication. Cara tells weak shit head adults to grow the fuck up and leave the Disney shit behind them. Alyssa rants on why dollar store are hellscapes on earth, and Ron tells us why Stephen Kine movie hype gives him ED.
This episode of Masturhaters (the first one after a few weeks off), Jon's dad guests on the show, bringing homeless people as his hate and shares a few stories about his experiences with them on the train in NYC. Alyssa Hates how people knee jerk react to police brutality videos in defense of those resisting arrest. Ron hates girls on the internet and goes MGTOW. Chris shits on people who have to act out entire episodes of their favorite shows to sell him on watching them, and Jon explodes...
Sorry for the wait everyone Masturhaters returns this week with a juicy episode filled with lots of laughs and maybe some cis white male tears, as Ron takes down white privilege deniers, Alyssa shares her hate of the marriage stigma, Jon fears that sex robots will cause the down fall of humanity, Chris shits on beer snobs, and Cara spits on people just trying to get by in entry level retail jobs. This episode is sponsored by dawn dish soap, its the best fucking degreaser.
This week on MasturHaters Chris hates that poor people can't afford cars, Alyssa gets hit on by squibs an a chat app that has been repurposed for exchanging nudes, Ron gets dragged to taco bell on a drunk adventure, and Jon claims responsibility for every terror attack,
This week on Masturhaters, Ron shows his pacifist side and cry's when men hit each other, Cara sits in piss as she goes off on why public bathrooms need a reformation, Alyssa thinks Kelly Clarkson needs to take better care of her demonic offspring. Jon doesn't understand food allergies and thinks old people should fuck off, Chris is out with a case of the aids.
This time on The Jon & Chris Show, Chris explains his argument against global warming for those who where upset about his rant on MasturHaters and then makes everything worse, Jon and Chris review Bill Nye Saves The World and reveal the agenda the would be science guy is peddling. Then lastly Jon explains why the border wall is stupid and Chris fails to grasp it.
This week on Masturhaters, Cara hates clickbait articles on facebook, Ron wants to cull the populace, Alyssa thinks celebrity news is bullshit, Jon gets stuck on carnival rides and thinks people who don't tip are the pits, and Chris denies science.
This week on MasturHaters, Jon gives his unique perspective on raising cigarette prices, Cara gets turned on by rape scenes, Alyssa hates how people hate stupid starbucks drinks, Chris thinks fire fighter funerals are a bit much, and Ron believes in reading stars in the sky and thinks your stupid for not.
this week on MasturHaters, Jon thinks girls are shit at pulling pranks, Chris hates weird pets, Cara's friends all ditch her. Alyssa thinks using sex as currency is a shit thing to do and Ron hates white people obsessed with again culture