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Multiamory Podcast

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Los Angeles, CA

Description: is a relationship blog and podcast from the perspective of three polyamorous individuals: Emily Matlack, Jase Lindgren, and Dedeker Winston. Our insights come from our personal experience with polyamory, but the information found here is useful for people in any type of relationship. Whether you are poly, considering diving into it, or just looking to have better monogamous relationships, our tips and ideas will help you to have the healthiest, happiest dating life possible.






136 - Healing Old Wounds and Resentment in Relationships

Long-term relationships can be fertile ground for wonderful things like deep bonding and silly in-jokes. But they can also come with their fair share of old hurts, repetetive arguments, and growing resentment. If you find your partner holding the past against you, feeling hurt and upset even after you've apologized for something in the past, or if you find yourself resenting your partner in the present for old hurts in the past, then there may be some unhealed wounds in your relationship. In...

Duration: 00:44:28

125 - What's Your Apology Language?

Our favorite God-doctor Gary Chapman, creator of the 5 Love Languages, has come up with another useful tool for communication: the 5 Apology Languages. Have you ever apologized to your partner for a mistake in the past, only to find that your partner brings it up again a week later, expressing frustration that you never really said you were sorry? What the hell? Was your partner not listening? It's possible that you and your partner have different apology languages. What felt like a...

Duration: 00:37:43

134 - Legal Protections for Polyamorous Families (with lawyer Diana Adams)

The Multiamory crew is thrilled to speak with lawyer Diana Adams, who runs a law firm based in New York and Frankfurt that primarily provides family law and mediation services to the LGBTQ community, polyamorous families, same-sex couples, platonic co-parents, and non-nuclear families. In this episode, we got so much helpful information from Diana, including the many kinds of legal agreements available to polyamorous families, actionable steps poly families and parents can take right now to...

Duration: 00:45:11

133 - 6 Questions You Must Ask Your New Partner

A long list of "glass ceiling questions" has been floating around the polyamorous internet lately. These are questions that are essential to ask a new partner in order to get down to brass tacks on what kind of agreements or rules they have in their other relationships, what they are expecting for their relationship with you, and other nuts-and-bolts questions. In the spirit of efficiency, Multiamory has condensed these questions down to 6 topics to ask about when starting a new...

Duration: 00:41:44

132 - The Ethical Slut 20th Anniversary with Janet Hardy

The Ethical Slut, long considered to be the "Bible" of polyamory and alternative relationships, is celebrating its 20th anniversary with a new, updated edition! The book had an incredible impact on each of our lives, and we are so excited to be speaking to co-author and educator Janet Hardy. Janet shares with us what's new in the updated edition, what she sees for the future of non-monogamous relationships, and her one piece of advice for anyone considering polyamory. You can order the...

Duration: 00:42:59

131 - Dumpster Fire Relationships

The dumpster fire relationship: you know it when you see it. Constant fights, endless drama, and an umatched level of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion. In this episode, we'll discuss signs that your relationship might be a total dumpster fire, how to evaluate whether or not it's time to leave, plus practical advice on escaping a draining relationship with minimal collateral damage. You can order Dedeker's book, The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know about...

Duration: 00:40:55

130 - Emotional Labor

This week we're digging in to emotional labor -- the mental and emotional energy required to maintain a relationship. All interpersonal relationships require some sort of emotional labor, so it's not a bad thing. However, problems arise when one person is giving more emotional labor than they are receiving from the other side. This disproportionately tends to happen to women, but it can occur regardless of sex or gender. Tune in to find out the subtle ways that emotional labor can stack, and...

Duration: 00:51:58

129 - Multiamory Answers Your Questions (Vol. II)

This week we are talking! That's right, this week the Multiamory crew tackles the questions that our listeners left on the Multiamory voicemail line. If you want to have a question answered on the air, you too can leave a voicemail for us at 678-MULTI-05. Covered in this episode: -- My girlfriend doesn't want me to fall in love with anyone. How do I casually date without leading people on? -- How do I handle my jealousy of my partner's past relationship with his ex-wife? --...

Duration: 00:59:34

128 - How To Support Your Partner Through a Breakup

Break ups suck. They suck a little less if you're not the one going through it, but if it's your partner who's just been dumped, then you may find yourself shouldering the burden of some of their suck as well. In this episode we talk about the ways to care for your partner, your self, and your relationship when your partner is going through a break-up or other turbulent period of life. If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one of our patrons at...

Duration: 00:44:27

127 - Relationship Agreement Pitfalls

This week we're discussing agreement pitfalls -- common relationship agreements that seem reasonable, but which may cause trouble in the long run. The Multiamory crew has a pretty firm stance against strict rules in relationships, but there are many agreements that fall into a debatable grey area. Is it fair to make sure you and your partner conduct relationships in the exact same way? Is it ethical to ask a partner to check in with you before they get sexual on a date with someone else?...

Duration: 00:39:53

126 - Building Intimacy with Multiamory


Duration: 00:44:40

125 - Researching Non-Monogamous Relationships (with researcher Ryan Witherspoon)

This week the Multiamory crew gets to pick the brain of researcher, educator, and Ph.D candidate Ryan Witherpsoon. Ryan has specialized in studying consensual non-monogamy, kink, and BDSM, as well as spearheading several research studies on non-traditional relationships. In this episode, we cover the current state of non-monogamy research, particular challenges that arise when studying polyamorous relationships, and the findings of his most recent study on stigma toward consensual...

Duration: 00:36:55

124 - The Dating Advice Girl Talks Polyamory

This week we are welcoming special guest Erin Tillman, a.k.a. The Dating Advice Girl. Erin has coached many singles through the process of creating a dating profile and going on dates without getting burnt out in the process. Even better, Erin is tuned in to the polyamorous and queer communities. She shares with us her pro tips on messaging, first dates, and how much to disclose in your dating profile when you're seeking a non-traditional match (or two). You can find more of Erin...

Duration: 00:48:08

123 - The Science of Happy Relationships

Love and science finally hook up. The results? Sexy. This week we're covering all the things that will make your relationships better, backed by scientific studies. We cover communication, fighting, sex, in-jokes, and more! You can follow along with us here: If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one of our patrons at In addition to helping us continue to create new content and...

Duration: 00:43:26

122 - Multiamory Answers Your Questions

This week we are talking! That's right, this week the Multiamory crew tackles the questions that our listeners left on the Multiamory voicemail line. If you want to have a question answered on the air, you too can leave a voicemail for us at 678-MULTI-05. Covered in this episode: -- How can a straight, cisgender man ask for cuddles or affectionate touch without it being interpreted as a come-on? -- How can I let go of the need to make sure my husband only ever tries new...

Duration: 00:45:06

121 - Social Media and Relationships

This week, we're talking about the effects of social media on your relationships, and some of the unique challenges presented to non-monogamous relationships. Whether you're creeping on your metamours, or finding yourself nervous about posting openly about your multiple partners, we're here to help you navigate the tricky etiquette and foibles of social media. If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one of our patrons at In addition to...

Duration: 00:42:53

120 - 7 Strategies for Successful Long Distance Relationships

2/3rds of the Multiamory crew is once again heading off for global adventures, which means it's time to talk about long-distance relationships. In this episode, we highlight seven specific strategies that will help your geographically-challenged relationship to flourish and thrive, including tactics for fostering intimacy, communication, and handling the unique challenges presented to multi-partner relationships. You can order Dedeker's book, The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory:...

Duration: 00:38:58

119 - Asexual Polyamory

This week the Multiamory crew is happy to talk with The One True Will, former facilitator of the Gracefully Poly Facebook group. Will has identified as both asexual and polyamorous for a number of years, and on this episode he answers all of our n00b questions about the asexuality spectrum, demisexuality, gender dynamics, and...dragons?!? You can order Dedeker's book, The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know about Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative...

Duration: 00:43:11

118 - Helping Your Partner Open Up

Whether you're opening up an existing relationship or beginning a relationship with someone who is new to polyamory, it can be challenging to know the best way to encourage them to feel safe venturing into the world of non-monogamy. In this episode we explore different challenges and discuss what we've found to be the most effective strategies and tools for making that experience a positive one. This has been a commonly requested topic and we're excited to finally have a resource for...

Duration: 00:50:18

117 - Why Do You Want What You Want?

This week we are tackling the complicated task of deconstructing desire. In life, we often set our sights on accomplishing a particular goal or attaining a particular obejct or status, and the same is true with relationships and sex. In this episode, we dig into the reasons why we want the things that we want, often through socialization, comparisons to other people, and our perceptions of what will make us happy. If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one of our...

Duration: 00:43:32

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