Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique-logo

Pitney & Amelia's Bitchen Boutique

1 Favorite

More Information


United States







It's Friday the 13th! Are you superstitious? Even a little bit? Pitney and Amelia discuss all the weird superstitious things they do, even if they have no idea why. Knocking on wood, not stepping on a crack, praying to st Anthony, not opening umbrellas indoors, and some really goofy ones. And then, in honor of Friday the 13th, Pitney shares a Jason Voorhees find with Amelia that makes her jump up and run around the room for a bit. You will be disgusted, but you'll laugh, we promise. And the...

Duration: 00:49:15

Period. Movies.

Did you hear about the woman who lost her job because she got her period at work? Amelia is pissed off, and thinks if women talked about their periods more often and with more people, someday men wouldn't be so scared and dumb about such a basic biological reality. And guess who else lost her job because of her period? (Well, sorta.) Verity. You'll love it. And Pitney hates seeing movies in public. Movie theaters infuriate him. Mostly because of people who think they have the right to...

Duration: 01:16:51

Scum and Villainy

Amelia realized that Pitney's dog Joxer had been in several episodes (barking and snuffling and squeaky toys and whatnot) so she decided to bring her dog Spike into the room. Not necessarily the best idea, but it's his turn to be famous. Star Wars. We love it. Really we do. But it can stand to be criticized and picked apart. You might be surprised which episodes are Pitney's favorites and which he can do without. Why Amelia actually likes a lot of The Phantom Menace. And what Verity...

Duration: 00:56:56

More Than Music

The death of Chester Bennington affected Pitney more profoundly than he expected. He's attended memorials all over Texas (at the time of this recording, he had only gone to one) and has found the outpouring of love and support inspiring. We talk about Chester and Linkin Park and what their music means to Pitney. And we talk about other artists, such as David Bowie, Michael Jackson, Joni Mitchell, Prince, and George Harrison, and how some music becomes a part of your soul and changes your...

Duration: 01:05:56

Towels, Ticks, and a Tosser

Pitney and Amelia discuss the proper way to fold a bath towel and make a bed. Do you go longways or crossways? Do your nice sides touch? Do you throw sixteen pillows on the floor every night? These things are important! Tick talk. We talk ticks. And fleas. And sing about them. And it's all Tricia's fault. Then Amelia tells the story of what clogged an 80 year old sewer pipe. And just what DID happen to that broom handle? We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review...

Duration: 00:54:55

Too Weird For The Ranch!

Pitney interviews Kerrville “Kerrverts” Iris and Marie. The joys of face and body painting (and the sorrows of using the wrong kind of paint), what gets you attached to certain events and draws you back year after year, and their weirdest memories of this pretty-weird festival. Amelia has comments and questions, and the answer to one question makes her scream in horror. (Here’s some hints: vampires and werewolves and TOO WEIRD FOR THE RANCH.) You KNOW you want to know what that’s...

Duration: 01:00:42

Too Woo for You!

Sometimes little things can set off the strangest conversations! Amelia read an article to Pitney about Breatharians (idiots who think we're going to believe they never eat food and live instead off of "cosmic energy"), and then the discussion turned to the crazy woo-woo things some people believe. And a woman who is a bit too close to her wolf pelts. And how Tricia Von Lichtenstein used to draw rather wolf-themed erotic art, featuring herself and Blackie Lawless, the lead singer of WASP....

Duration: 01:08:11

Ain't No Douchebags Here!

Pitney is back from the Kerrville Folk Festival, where he had a marvelous time and interviewed a bunch of crazy Kerrverts! He shares his interview with Joel and Jordan, while he and Amelia interject from time to time with comments that take them off into their typical tangents! Renfaire, the douchebags of Coachella, multi-hole latrines, Paris Hilton, you name it! And we didn't get permission in time to use this awesome song about the festival by Neale Eckstein (@fxrn), but we want you...

Duration: 01:02:51

The Airport Report

Sometimes hip and happening means old-school and over. Why would Austin decide its airport needed to go back in time? And do the super-cool lack sweat glands? Pitney and Amelia question the sanity behind some weird new developments at ABIA. Then we kvetch about how Austin has changed over the years, and how you can't still claim you're a city for artists and musicians when none of them can afford to live here. Not to mention the detrimental affect the lack of trashy slackers has on one's...

Duration: 00:46:18

Inside the Bitchen Studio

What's Pitney's favorite word? What's Amelia's least favorite sound? This week, we took the Bernard Pivot Questionnaire, better known as that thing James Lipton does at the end of Inside the Actors' Studio. We learned some stuff about ourselves and each other! Then we peruse the Photo Gallery on the Mar-A-Lago website (http://www.maralagoclub.com) and make comments about what we see. You would not believe how furious Amelia gets looking at Trump's curtains. Or maybe you would! We...

Duration: 01:19:31

Smashes Thrashes and Hits - Our First Anniversary!

IT'S OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY, YOU GUYS! :partyhorn: This is amazing. We can't thank you all enough for the support. So we decided to make you something: it's a clip show! If you're new to us, this episode is a bit of a sampler platter. If you've been listening for a while, we hope this features some of your favorite moments from our first year! A list of clips and the episodes from whence they came: 00:02:54 1 Welcome To Our World! 00:04:09 2 Pros and Cons of Cons 00:06:45 3...

Duration: 01:41:31

Texas Frightmare Weekend Special

It's our Texas Frightmare Weekend Special! Come with us to the Hyatt Regency hotel in the DFW airport (seriously!) as we celebrate one of our favorite nerdy pleasures! HORROR MOVIES! First, as we enjoy delicious pints of beer in the hotel bar, we sit down with a friend to discuss what distinguishes horror from other types of movies. Is Silence of the Lambs a horror film? Is Psycho? What about the Hellraiser series? THE ANSWERS MAY SURPRISE YOU! Then we jump forward in time to the...

Duration: 00:58:48

Bag Those Toenails!

Omigod, like bag those toenails! Amelia desperately needs a pedicure, and we talk about how fabulous toenail polish is. Then Pitney shares a story you just will NOT believe about a crazy woman who showed up to a poolside potluck and changed his life forever. Texas Frightmare Weekend is coming up soon, and we're excited that Chris Sarandon is going to be there, not only because we love Fright Night, but because Verity Noslen always said he was a "major him." This reminds us of yet...

Duration: 01:20:24

Florence Foster Jenkins

Who is Florence Foster Jenkins? Your new muse, that's who! Learn about this fascinating woman who sang her heart out despite being rather terrible at it, who became the toast of New York during the days of Toscanini and Caruso, and who inspired a movie that would earn Meryl Streep her 20th Oscar nomination. Hear about the world of ladies' clubs, tableaux vivants, and the scourge of syphilis. But most of all, hear a voice quite unlike anything you've ever experienced. And while we're...

Duration: 00:56:35

Assorted Awesomeness

This week we're giving you a little of everything! We talk about a scary way women used to clean their ladybits, recurring dreams and nightmares, refusing to comply with dress codes, yelling at cake, Barbie's musical career in the 80s and 90s, and the way Amelia tends to attract guys who pretend to be famous. And in the middle of it all, we declare our undying love for Tim Curry and our reasons for NOT going to meet him in Dallas. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate...

Duration: 01:34:03

Destroy That Mattress!

You have GOT to DESTROY that MATTRESS! Amelia is delving into the world of Hellraiser and Pitney helps her along on her journey, as they discuss what the movies are about, their obsession with Skinless Julia and that damn mattress, and the time Pitney made Doug Bradley (Pinhead) laugh! It's Ceno-bitchen! Have you been wondering where this podcast name comes from? It's a funny story. Actually, it's several funny stories. And one of them indirectly involves Verity Noslen! Then Pitney...

Duration: 01:19:16


Pitney and Amelia are nothing if not gourmet! Listen as they share their love of experimenting in the kitchen and experiencing new cuisines, telling stories of how they learned to cook, sharing tips and recipes, and insisting on the French pronunciation of La Croix. Then Pitney gives us a Verity two-fer: TWO stories about Verity's weird attitude towards boxed macaroni and cheese! We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! And please subscribe or add us to...

Duration: 01:29:49

Check Your Privilege!

Privilege. Many of us have it, and most don't understand what it is and get super defensive when the subject comes up. Amelia explains one kind of privilege that you probably have and she doesn't. You see, she's lefthanded, and life isn't as easy for her as it is for righthanded people. She won't rest until you appreciate how the world is literally, physically laid out for you, ya righthanded bastards. Then Amelia confesses to something really gross and embarrassing that happened with...

Duration: 01:20:34

Horror of Valentine's Day

Welcome to a Valentine's Day episode filled with utterly unromantic stuff! Amelia hates Valentine's Day. HATES. IT. Find out her many reasons, including one story of a Valentine's dinner date gone horribly awry! Then, speaking of horrors, Pitney talks about his love of My Bloody Valentine, and the St. Valentine's Day massacre! Plus a really icky Von Lichtenstein story! You'll laugh, you'll cringe, you'll call a cop. We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and...

Duration: 00:50:35

Soft Sensuality

New year, new crap to complain about. People who set themselves up for failure with bullshit resolutions. Our new President and his nonsense. Commercials that are so dumb they make us want to stab someone. Plus a story about Verity Noslen and your first listen to an Audio Subtweet! We love you for listening! Please take a moment to rate and review us! Questions? Comments? Complaints? Write to us at PitneyAndAmelia@gmail.com! Tweet at us at @bitchenboutique! Who the heck...

Duration: 00:53:22

See More