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Ross O'Carroll-Kelly-logo

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

Comedy Podcasts >

Described by George Hook as the greatest Irish player never to make it and described by everyone else who knows him as a shallow, self-obsessed idiot.

Described by George Hook as the greatest Irish player never to make it and described by everyone else who knows him as a shallow, self-obsessed idiot.
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Location:

Ireland

Description:

Described by George Hook as the greatest Irish player never to make it and described by everyone else who knows him as a shallow, self-obsessed idiot.

Language:

English


Episodes

‘When Dricmas falls on a weekend, people are entitled to the Monday off’

1/19/2018
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Ross discovers that his idea of a Holy Day of Obligation doesn’t quite tally with his bos

Duration: 00:06:10


‘To my ears, Irish always sounds like someone is hurting a Norwegian’

1/12/2018
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Ross isn’t on board with Sorcha’s Irish resolution – and it’s about to blow up in his face

Duration: 00:06:02


I’m the most high-profile Irish rugby player who never got the Leaving?’

1/5/2018
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The dude who rings is called Mister Something-Something. His name isn’t important. He says he’s from the Deportment of Education and he has some good news for me.

Duration: 00:05:42


‘Your resolution was to become part of the Irish coaching staff. How did you get on?’

12/30/2017
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“It’s an amazing way of celebrating our Irishness in this period of historic centenaries,” claims Sorcha

Duration: 00:06:13


‘Oh my God, it’s Christmas – and we’ve just been told there’s no room at the Inn’

12/22/2017
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Honor goes, “What the fock are we doing in Cork anyway?” and I end up having to laugh because it’s honestly like listening to myself.

Duration: 00:05:53


‘Don’t forget to leave a very, very large gin and tonic out for, ahem, Rudolph!’

12/12/2017
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“Honor has never been sentimental about Christmas. Do you remember the first time we ever watched the Late Late Toy Show together as a family? And she said she wanted to smash all of the toys with a hammer just to make all the other children cry?”

Duration: 00:06:24


‘Dave came back from that HR course like a soldier who’s been to war and can’t speak about it’

12/8/2017
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Dave from the office was in chorge of payroll until he did a course in human resources in the Smurfit Business School in Blackrock and returned to work six weeks later having lost his sense of smell, his sense of taste and – most tragically of all – his sense of humour.

Duration: 00:06:15


‘Grandad!’ Rihanna-Brogan shouts. ‘Don’t call me that! Call me Rosser. Or Rossmeister’

11/30/2017
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Ross O’Carroll-Kelly is a grandfather and his old man is building a prison called Robbin’ Island.

Duration: 00:05:50


‘You don’t discriminate. You’re a complete pig to absolutely everyone’

11/23/2017
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“Dad,” she goes, “you are so not a sexist. You’re horrible to women and men. It’s one of the few things I actually like about you.”

Duration: 00:05:31


‘I have no prejudices. Except people who aren’t from Dublin’

11/17/2017
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Lauren, the new Lady Managing Director of Hook, Lyon and Sinker, thinks I have a problem taking orders from women. Which is complete horseshit, of course. I worked behind the bor at the annual Foxrock Golf Club Ladies Foursomes event for seven years in a row and took thousands of orders from women. Mostly for gin and tonics.

Duration: 00:05:34


‘I know HR is an actual thing now, but to me it’s like homeopathy or dinosaurs'

11/10/2017
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I walk into the office to discover that all of my most treasured possessions have been stuffed into a cordboard box, which is sitting on my desk. We’re talking my ‘That’s Leinstertainment’ travel mug. We’re talking my 13 letters of censure from the Property Services Regulatory Authority. We’re talking my signed photograph of Richie McCaw (“To Ross,” it says. “You could have been one of the all-time greats,” words which still bring a tear to my eye, even though I told him specifically what to...

Duration: 00:05:34


‘A brain like tiramisu.’ ‘Multi-layered?’ ‘No, soft and full of custard’

11/3/2017
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Hennessy and the old man have bought Hook, Lyon & Sinker, but the way Hennessy’s talking, it’s not looking like yours truly is their first choice for managing director

Duration: 00:05:57


‘I have to say my year in UCD was possibly the happiest three months of my life’

10/26/2017
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The annual Iron Stomach Contest is as much a part of UCD life as wearing your schools rugby jersey for the first 10 weeks of first year and experimenting with your sexuality by getting off with people who didn’t go to fee-paying secondary schools.

Duration: 00:06:12


'Believe me,’ Honor goes, ‘she’ll thank us for this in the long run’

10/20/2017
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My daughter is doing a Closet Purge for her vlog. A purge with a difference – it’s Sorcha’s closet and there’s petrol involved

Duration: 00:05:46


‘You’re a bloody good estate agent. I’ve heard of your lack of emotion and basic humanity’

10/13/2017
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The old man asks me for my thoughts on the Budget – like it affects me somehow? “What Budget?” I go.

Duration: 00:06:06


‘If white collar crime is a crime, then why does no one ever go to jail for it?’

10/6/2017
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If you’d told me, when I was, like, 16 years old, that one day I’d end up literally working for a living, I would have asked you, well, what was the point of playing rugby in the first place?

Duration: 00:05:23


‘This is my actual Dad, Ross. He’s a kind of fat rugby has-been’

9/29/2017
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It’s like Honor’s had some kind of, I don’t know, personality transplant?

Duration: 00:05:59


Operation Trumpsformation: On Referendum Day, The Cornival Atmosphere Turns Sour for Ross

9/21/2017
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The fourth and final exclusive excerpts from 'Operation Trumpsformation', the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series.

Duration: 00:07:40


Operation Trumpsformation: Micheál Mortin Calls The Old Man's Attitude Cavalier & Irresponsible

9/21/2017
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The third of four exclusive excerpts from 'Operation Trumpsformation', the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series.

Duration: 00:08:36


Operation Trumpsformation: Honor, The True Heir to The O'Carroll-Kelly Rugby Name

9/21/2017
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The second of four exclusive excerpts from 'Operation Trumpsformation', the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series.

Duration: 00:12:13

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