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Simply Abundant Intuitive Show

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Why We Focus on Problems

Whatever we focus on expands, and many of us spend a great deal of time focusing on problems. When you wake up in the morning, what are you thinking about? Do you wonder how you’ll get everything done, or ruminate over something you said to your partner, wondering how he/she might have taken it? This is how we create problems that don’t currently exist. When we anticipate a problem… like I’m afraid I won’t have enough money to cover rent… what is the purpose? If you aren’t writing the rent...

Duration: 00:44:37

Journey of Attachment: Why Intellectualizing Change Doesn’t Work

Many people fall into a mental trap when working on themselves. They think, “If I know it, I can change it.” Yes, self-awareness is critical because you can’t change what you’re not aware of, but nothing really changes if it stays at the level of the intellect. When you have a mental understanding, that information fits within your existing belief system, becoming a strategy. Many of us in insecurely attached relationships tend to take this new information and apply it to the object of our...

Duration: 00:45:16

Your Partner Isn’t the Issue

Have you ever said “I can’t stand it anymore” about your relationship? Maybe it’s because your partner does X or doesn’t do X. You don’t feel in control and your needs aren’t being met. You have one foot out the door… but you don’t leave and you don’t commit to making it work. You think your partner is the problem, yet hope one day he/she will wake up and everything will be better. You’re stuck and miserable. You might think leaving is the answer, but I actually suggest something...

Duration: 00:38:41

Bonus Interview: Rita Hovakimian, Business Coach and Prosperity Mentor

Rita Hovakimian is a Business Coach and Prosperity Mentor, helping thousands of entrepreneurs identify and achieve their professional goals for more than 20 years. Her practical business strategies combine with keen intuition to funnel energy and vision into a clear action plan. She understands the path to success involves our relationship with money, and how we charge for our services correlates to our self-worth, so she works with 7 Key Practices for Attracting Prosperity. Rita offers...

Duration: 00:41:49

Journey of Attachment: Afraid of Growth for Fear of Losing Your Partner

Most people don’t say it out loud, or even recognize why they hold themselves back from personal growth… but sometimes they fear losing their partner. When people come to me for help, one of the first questions they ask is if they can do this work and still stay with their partner. Even if they want to leave because the relationship is full of dysfunction, they are deeply attached and looking for ways around it. Many are stuck in scarcity, thinking there won’t be another person to love...

Duration: 00:33:08

Fear of How Others Perceive Us

Are you afraid of the impression you give others, and how they perceive you? This is a huge problem in our society, making it impossible to be real. If you focus on others, you are disconnected from yourself and your emotions. And if there is a particular way you need to be seen, you have an expectation; an attachment to how they feel toward you. The thing is, you have no control over someone else’s thoughts and feelings. You may THINK you have an impact, but you truly have no clue what’s...

Duration: 00:31:06

Journey of Attachment: The Comfort of Dysfunction

Attachment issues are big among my podcast listeners; there’s a reason I have an entire series devoted to it! But there is a difference between those who are ATTACHED to their attached relationship, and those who truly want to let go. You need to honestly ask yourself: Are you more comfortable with the devil you know, or are you willing to do the hard work needed to make a change? Deciding you have value and wanting to move out of a dysfunctional relationship is one of the hardest things...

Duration: 00:42:29

Relationships Take Two to Tango. Are You In or Out?

How much do you participate in your relationships? Not just romantically— I’m also talking family, friends, co-workers, etc. Do you put forth effort, or do you look for the other person to do all the work? We may think we put energy toward relationships, but some of us wait for signs that it’s safe to proceed because we don’t want to put forth effort unless we’re sure the other person will reciprocate. Being in that place, however, doesn’t feel good. It’s actually quite lonely and makes us...

Duration: 00:36:50

Journey of Attachment: Fear of Abandonment

It takes so little to trigger the feeling of abandonment; only the fear of him or her leaving, even if it is somewhere you believe to be reasonable. Many of us end up with people who aren’t sincerely on the same page with us and we may even emotionally beat ourselves up while we grip tightly because of it. We want out, but man oh man, we are ready to flip out if this person leaves us for any length of time. The funny part is, if you imagine you’re with him/her, and you feel like you want...

Duration: 00:49:23

Stopping the Vicious Cycle of Emotional Baggage in a Relationship

We all have baggage we bring into relationships. When we are emotionally triggered, we can either heal our pain or resist it and shove it back down. If you want to heal, these triggers are an opportunity to make a shift; to break patterns and do things differently. I’ve discovered a process I have personally used right in the middle of those highly-charged moments to detach from the old pain and see the situation for what it is. If you feel completely out of control when those old beliefs...

Duration: 00:56:40

Journey of Attachment: Same Thing, Different Day

When we are insecurely attached, we usually show up as the same person, expecting the same thing from an impossible situation. It’s like that expression: If you want your head to stop hurting, stop banging it against a wall. Somehow we think the headache will go away simply because we want it to (even though we keep pounding away). Why do we do this even though we know it’s illogical? Why are we vested in relationships that never meet our needs? We repeat our past because it’s what we...

Duration: 00:34:55

Single? Throw Out the Dating Rules. It’s Time for Real!

Dating rules abound in books and online, telling us how to behave and how not to behave in order to meet The One. “Wear something sexy, but not too sexy,” “Never talk about your ex,” “Wait four days after a date to call or text.” What? Why? Fear and scarcity drive many to seek out just the right formula so they won’t screw it up, allowing their perfect mate to slip away. Unfortunately rules are not the answer to a fulfilling relationship because they are the opposite of authentic. How can...

Duration: 00:51:47

Journey of Attachment: Unhappy Surprises

The funny thing with attachment is it doesn’t just affect who you’re attached to, but how it feeds your negative beliefs. The latter creates the foundation for your experiences, creating potential problems for you in the future. This is why I tell people not to leave an insecurely attached romance prematurely (provided there is no danger, of course) because even though the situation will change, the beliefs still exist and these people will have to deal with themselves sooner or later. As...

Duration: 00:36:56

The Road To Getting What You Want

I’ve come a long way toward having what I want in life. I focused for quite a while on having a relationship, but it took some time to actually MEAN it on a deeper level and stop sabotaging my efforts based on old patterns and beliefs. I also denigrated commitment for many years, not realizing it was blocking me. I would say I had both feet in, but I always looked for an escape hatch because I never felt fully present in my life. This resulted in a lot of U-turns, something many of us do....

Duration: 00:38:06

The Journey of Attachment: How Triggers Uncover Old Pain

Even those of us who have done work on ourselves have patterns that are difficult to break, especially when it comes to relationships. You’ll have moments when you are emotionally triggered, wondering why you are having such a strong reaction to something seemingly innocent. It’s because it actually has nothing to do with the present; it’s all based on past pain. These triggers are like a time machine, taking you back to that moment (or moments) when you felt alone, not good enough, not...

Duration: 00:40:36

The Ease of Magic

We have a lot of conditions around what magic needs to show up looking like, otherwise we discount it. We say we’re open to receiving, but if we watch our words and actions, we’ll notice how often we set up obstacles. We’ll force or push to have it come our way, in our time, but when we do that, do we end up with fulfilling results? Or have we just twisted magic up into a pretzel? Magic ONLY works with ease. When you surrender to the unknown and allow it… however it chooses to show up....

Duration: 00:27:47

Journey of Attachment: How We Turn Our Partner Into the Enemy

In an insecurely attached relationship where your needs aren’t being met, there is a tendency to think of your partner as the enemy (think about the words you use to describe him or her). On a deeper level, it feels as though he/she is working against you and deliberately making you unhappy. When your partner isn’t giving you what you want, your entire focus is on him/her because you think they are withholding. Maybe they gave you want you wanted at some point, or so you thought, but it...

Duration: 00:31:03

Too Much And Not Enough; How We Complicate Relationships

Many of us think we’re complicated; we’re “too much” in certain ways and “not enough” in others. This creates heaviness and struggle because we believe we’re difficult to figure out. It’s really just a mental construct, however, designed to keep our defenses up so we can avoid anything emotionally that might challenge this perception. We THINK we allow people in when we feel a swirl of intense emotions, but that intensity is based on past, unresolved issues rather than the present...

Duration: 00:36:47

Journey Of Attachment: All About Avoidants

Early childhood is where avoidant seeds take root. If you fall into this category of insecurely attached Avoidants, you probably developed a pseudo-independent identity, going to great lengths to prove you could take care of yourself. You acted like a little adult, holding yourself to pretty strict standards. This self-sufficiency carried over into actual adulthood where you had little or no desire to seek help and support from others. “I’m fine,” you’d say, when you were anything but....

Duration: 00:44:00

Redecorating Your Comfort Zone Doesn’t Lead To Change

Most of us fight like crazy to remain exactly where we are; it’s the way our subconscious tries to protect us. I watch it happen daily with clients, other people and even with myself. We want to stand still while life slowly adapts around us… yet we remain resistant to any change we can’t control. We force ourselves down one road while completely ignoring the other routes. Why? Because we weren’t taught to be open and believe in abundance. We completely missed that part of life’s journey...

Duration: 00:36:14

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