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The Baby-Sitters Club Club

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A big dumb idiot and his brilliant, charming friend discuss the classic Baby-Sitters Club novels of Ann M. Martin in chronological order. Get ready to look with new eyes at the timeless adventures of Kristy, Mary Anne, Claudia, Stacey, and I guess Dawn. And probably Mallory too. Fine, and Jessi.








BSCC 075 - Mary Anne and Miss Priss

Welcome to the "Jahnna N. Malcolm Hate Podcast," a podcast in which two small-minded men viciously, slanderously, and unfairly malign the beloved children’s literature of the entity known as Jahnna N. Malcolm, whose only crime is their deep love for one another and for making the world a better place by entertaining children and enriching their lives. In slightly better news, Mallory’s back in action, but the Baby-Sitters are still down one, and The Dolls are gaining power as they tighten...

Duration: 01:00:24

W♥KCC 074 - Dawn and the We ♥ Kids Club

Welcome to another installment of the We ♥ Kids Club Club, a podcast in which your two hosts, Weed Lord and Half-pipe, discuss the works of Peter Lerangis and Ann M. Martin: The We ♥ Kids Club books. This week, there's a new character in Palo City, a naughty dingleberry named Dawn Schafer who creates trouble everywhere she goes with her militant environmentalism, hatred for love, and willingness to steal and lie her way back home. Palo City, California hasn't had a character this explosive...

Duration: 01:03:28

BSCC: Little Sister - Karen's School Picture

Y’all, the boys were pretty sauced for this episode. But that’s OK because it’s a Little Sister, Little Episode, where things are fast, loose, fun, and frisky. And despite all of that speed and friskiness, Jack and Tanner pull off some hard-hitting investigative journalism about the cold case of the missing Delaney family, a thoughtful and informed discussion about the state of modern bone medicine, and a poignant analysis of Karen Brewer's complex and morally fraught relationship with...

Duration: 00:44:22

BSCC 073 - Claudia and the Perfect Boy

If there is such a thing in the world as a Perfect Boy, what would he be like? Would he be like Rand al Thor, from Robert Jordan’s tedious and bloated Wheel of Time saga? Would he be like Robyn or Rand Miller, the brothers behind the 1993 graphic adventure puzzle video game Myst? Or would he be more like Gary Gygax himself, the troubled but brilliant creator of the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing experience? Claudia’s too busy assembling what may be her most ambitious outfit ever to do...

Duration: 01:02:51

BSCC 072 - Stacey and the Cheerleaders

This week, two inept hosts who WERE NOT born during a storm NOR during a Super Bowl game try their very best to describe and discuss a Baby-Sitters Club book written by two beautiful storm-touched souls. And there’s no sign more clear that Jack and Tanner are starting to lose their credibility than the fact that they’re “coming around” on Stacey. Can you believe that?! Stacey meets a new boy called Robert, and together, they drain the swamp and dismantle the corrupt establishment that is...

Duration: 01:00:08

BSCC 071 - Get Well Soon, Mallory!

Welcome to “Pike Check,” our hit new BSCC-spinoff podcast about how ridiculously handsome Mallory’s dad John Pike is. We think this one has a lot of legs, just like John. This episode also contains the definitive diss track that the BSC ghostwriter known as “The Entity Known as Jahnna N. Malcolm” has had coming for about 30 years now, as well as a shocking new revelation about the mysterious events of June 10 and their meaning in Ann’s life. Also, Mallory is not well and the BSC is down to...

Duration: 00:58:36

BSCC 070 - Jessi and the Bad Baby-sitter

This week, Tanner is joined in his B____n, N__ Y__k apartment by a very special guest to discuss book #68 in the Baby-Sitter’s Club cycle: Jessi and the Bad Baby-sitter. Has Dawn finally been replaced? Can Wendy Loesser stand up to the immense scrutiny of the BSC? No and no! But we do get some G.C.B.S.F. this week, which is all we can hope for, really. Also in this episode: Bee theory, Green Lanterns (go figure), OWOWing, a special text message appearance from Jack’s friend, Jan, and an...

Duration: 00:57:37

BSCC 069 - Dawn's Big Move

This episode is a time for somber reflection, as the boys gently, diplomatically, and eloquently allow Ann to hear (in the most thoughtful and sober way possible) exactly why what she did to Dawn WILL NEVER BE OK, ANN. NEVER. Also this week, Hodges has gone completely off the deep end, and Jack and Tanner follow him merrily over the edge with a whole slew of powerful and dynamic new segments. There’s also a new player in town, who has Goliath Hardbody shaking in his manly boots. Audio...

Duration: 01:05:20

BSCC: Mystery - Mallory and the Ghost Cat

The boys are joined by author Erin Chack this week for a discussion about the hit 1990 film Ghost Dad, the hit 1996 Bone Thugs-n-Harmony song “Tha Crossroads,” A Baby-Sitter’s Club Mystery book, and–surprise, surprise–Jack talks about G.I. Joe way more than anyone wants him to. Music Credits: “My Sharona”“Cover of 'Tha Crossroads’ by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony”"You Are My Sunshine”"Sweet Rascal”"Can't Help Fallin' In Love” Thanks as always to original Baby Boy Scott Lamb for the intro music,...

Duration: 01:13:29

BSCC 068 - Maid Mary Anne

It’s a real sewing circle jerk this week, Baby Nation (to use a technical term), and if you happen to be into that sort of thing AND you’re a fan of the 1990 fantasy graphic adventure game “Loom,” this one's really going to be right in your sweet spot. But there’s still plenty to love even for folks who are on the fence about weaving, sewing and weaving/sewing-based videogames because the boys have a whole lot to say about Nicky Pike’s dalliance with the dark side, Dawn’s “looming"...

Duration: 01:02:42

BSCC 067 - Stacey's Big Crush

Oh wow! This week, Tanner had to wait over an hour while Jack finished reading the book and setting up his audio, and in that time, he got a little bit silly with some rosé and seltzer. In Stoneybrook, Stacey develops a crush on some dude who may or may not be a half-python-half-man, but also THERE’S A GOAT IN THIS BOOK NAMED ELVIRA AND SHE’S JUST A BABY AND SHE’S VERY GOOD! Music Credits: “Pompeii” by Josh Woodward https://soundcloud.com/guniball/josh-woodward-pompeii "Animals vs. Jump...

Duration: 00:55:19

BSCC 066 - Dawn's Family Feud

Happy Trails, Baby Nation! Jack and Tanner are taking a tour of Boston’s “The Freedom Trail” this week, thanks to the entity known as Jahna N. Malcolm, who co-wrote this novel with Ann. M. Martin and (presumably) The Boston Tourism Board. Unfortunately, Dawn and Mary Anne are at each other’s throats again this week, so the boys distract themselves from that unpleasantness by spending a laudable amount of time Googling to see if the Bible ever mentions weed. Audio credits: “The Last...

Duration: 01:00:49

BSCC: Mystery - Beware, Dawn

It’s time for another BSC: Mystery, which means it’s time for another interview, except it’s not an interview, because interviewers don’t make their guests read children’s books. Reading “Beware Dawn” with the boys this week are Katie Heaney and Arianna Rebolini, authors of the incredible new book, “Public Relations,” and apparently a very steaming piece of erotic fiction featuring an eel man. Topics of discussion include G.I. Joe used in sex play, celestial beings, bonza sheilas, King...

Duration: 01:09:40

BSCC 065 - Claudia's Friend

Strap on your best learnin’ hat and get ready for a good, old-fashioned education! This week, Claudia is learning from Stacey about where apostrophes go; Tanner’s learning from Jack about something very dry and almost certainly made up out of whole cloth called “The Lexical Order,” and Jack’s learning from Tanner all about the hit 2001 supernatural horror film “13 Ghosts,” starring the great Matthew Lillard. We also learn what happened to Jackie Rodowsky in his latest dance through the...

Duration: 00:56:51

BSCC 064 - Kristy and the Worst Kid Ever

In dibbly day, in distant night, no babies shall escape their sight. Let those who listen twice a fortnight, beware our digressions, because we talk about Green Lantern A LOT in this episode. Music Credits: "She Comes Through The Fog” by Haunted Me http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Haunted_Me/ “Seeing Red” by Regular Gonzales http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Regular_Gonzales/War_Were_Declared/Regular_Gonzales_-_02_-_Seeing_Red “Canoe” by Podington Bear...

Duration: 00:59:27

BSCC 063 - Jessi and the Awful Secret

A "very special” episode this week, Baby Nation, since Ann – in her infinite wisdom and unaccountable cruelty – decided to throw Jack and Tanner another curveball with a powerful novel about the triple threat of poverty, systemic racism, and teenage eating disorders. But with an exquisite grace worthy of Jessi herself, the boys manage to tiptoe shockingly quickly in the opposite direction of these delicate issues and towards the vastly safer ground of Marvel’s The X-Men, which Ann also...

Duration: 01:01:03

BSCC 062 - Mary Anne's Makeover

Mary Anne is finally getting that makeover we’ve been hearing about for so long! We also have reason to believe that Mr. Spier and Logan have a lot more in common than we thought, and that Mr. Spier and the X-Men’s Wolverine have a lot more in common than we thought. He’s the best there is at what he does, and what he does is weird sex play with food. Also, Jack is moving to Texas so nothing else really matters. Music Credits: “Sepia” by Podington Bear “Red in Black” by Kosta...

Duration: 00:59:05

BSCC: Mystery – Stacey and the Missing Ring

It's the first ever Baby-Sitters Club Mystery! And things get very mysterious, very quickly. Stacey McGill has stolen a powerful ring that turns the babysitters against each other. Meanwhile, the boys are attacked by a terrible spectral presence in the room, Tanner spills an entire beer onto his crotch, and it seems almost certain that a fissure has been opened up between our world and the strange parallel universe in which the Baby-Sitters Club Mysteries take place. Jack and Tanner also...

Duration: 01:06:57

BSCC 061 - Mallory Hates Boys (and Gym)

It's "pandemonium" in Stoneybrook this week! Which means, troublingly, that ALL the demons are back. And, perhaps worse, all the boys are being strange and difficult, which is stressing Mallory out to no end. A guest appearance from some of the business boys over at Goliath Industries does very little to ease the tension, and neither does the extended discussion of alleged boy Logan Bruno's complicated relationship with American sports. Not a good showing for ANY of the boys this week, so...

Duration: 01:01:12

BSCC 060 - Stacey's Choice

Sorry Baby Nation, no room for notes this week. Too many works cited. But thanks for listening! Works Cited: Claudia and the Middle School MysteryStar Trek: First Contact.WarGames.D.A.R.Y.L..http://blog.stoneybrookite.org/2016/03/12/peter-an-introduction/Fire Upon The Deep.The Horus Heresy.The Name of the Wind.Needful Things.Firefly.Le Morte d’Arthur.Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series.Stacey's Choice. Music Credits: “In My Head” by Podington Bear “Space Station” by alxd “Bassjump”...

Duration: 00:58:24

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