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The Distraction Engine

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Shitty Terminator

Welcome to the show that knocks at the door of good taste, waits around and then hides in the bushes of easy puns.How to make a hot dog Dugtrio, as inspired by The Pokémon CookbookTrump fans urge Star Wars boycott over reshoot claimsBaby dinosaur's 99 million-year-old tail, encased in amber, surfaces in MyanmarExploring 9: The Last Resort, Robert de Niro's forgotten '90s adventure gameMore mechanical musicImage credit: Hipster Terminator

Duration: 00:56:59

The thing about fish ghosts

Welome to the show that got too distracted to write an intro. This episode begins with a fairly detailed description of a personal physical element, so if the ickier side of the human body disgusts you, a) perhaps you should be more empathetic, and b) you can skip ahead about 10 minutes. Japan's 'Space World' apologizes for freezing 5,000 fish in skating rink Iceland's Pirate party invited to form government

Duration: 01:01:50

Oh Canada!

Welcome to the show that keeps you from doing that really important thing you need to do, for just another hour more. On today’s show we spy on some pixelated genitals, deliver pizza by aerial drone, and get offered sex for that sweet sweet queso. Man Dissolved in Acidic Water After Trying to Soak in Yellowstone National Park Hot Pool The UK passes the Snoopers' Charter Ohio woman accused of soliciting sex for nachos Apology over Watch Dogs 2's genitalia gaffe Domino’s delivers its...

Duration: 01:03:37

Just don't be an asshole

Welcome to the show that tries to make sense of a very difficult week. In the news Seahawks player pleads with thief to return his beloved ‘Magic: the Gathering’ cards Lego ends advertising with Daily Mail after calls for companies to 'Stop Funding Hate' Fox is scrambling to reboot its X-Men franchise Rats enjoy being tickled - when they're in the right mood

Duration: 00:59:26


Welcome to the show where we vote to elect who the podcast hosts will be for the next two years. On the left, we have something resembling a lamp, and to my right, what appears to be the remains of an orange. Headlines Man wanted over theft of £130,000 in accordions Man hacks Alexa into singing fish robot The secret world of microwave networks Psychologists identify key characteristics of earworms The millennial whoop: Man spends 60 hours...

Duration: 01:03:02

Pot luck and patent trolls

Welcome to the podcast that sifts through all the news of the week, gets bored halfway through, and decides to make a sandwich instead. Headlines Barnes & Nobles' list of the 25 Best Cats in Science Fiction & Fantasy Bye bye Vine Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart are hosting a cooking show on VH1 Mark gets wound up about patent trolls Police arrest tree in Portland, Maine for blocking traffic at busy intersection Topless selfie student crashes into Texas police car Don't forget! Visit...

Duration: 01:00:36

Happy slashers

Welcome to your weekly source for bullshit, bad jokes, and funny accents. Headlines In Kickstarter news: Holovect Brexit spells trouble for Marmite fans Samsung to power down all Note 7s Censorship in video game translation Free short stories offered at train station vending machines Creepy killer clowns Don't forget! Preorder Matt's book immediately And if you still have time, check out Mark's radio show.

Duration: 01:15:57

The Wizard Trumpgot

Welcome aboard the Distarctino Engine for another week. Headlines 4chan is out of Money! Reverend says his "spit or swallow" sign was not a sexual reference Luke Cage subreddit has a “Swear Jar” Facebook apologises for baby hedgehog Marketplace ads Florida Man braves hurricane to yell ‘Dicks out for Harambe’ on live TV Indonesian arrested for streaming porn on billboard Don't forget! Preorder Matt's book immediately And if you still have time, check out Mark's radio show. Our...

Duration: 00:46:01

Giant octopus attacks podcast

Welcome to the show where this week, two Englishmen and an American walk into your week. On this episode, Steadman and Matt are joined by artist Phil Davis. Headlines Philadelphia 76ers become first North American sports team to acquire esports franchise 4chan’s guide on how to be racist on Twitter Artist tricks tourists with elaborate monument to Staten Island ferry octopus attack Every British swear word has been officially ranked in order of offensiveness Don't forget to preorder...

Duration: 00:59:44

Boo this man!

Welcome to the show that takes the best stories of the week, chucks them in the bin, and rambles on about something else entirely. Headlines In soviet Russia, porn cracks down on you Every advert in a London underground station has been replaced with cat photos First they came for my iPhone jack, and I did nothing... There was, for a short time, hardcore porn in iOS 10’s GIF search A cow with no name: Google blurs bovine face for privacy The Amazon Echo launched in the UK and this...

Duration: 00:55:13

Surprisingly tasteful

Matt’s back, Mark’s drunk, so it’s a normal day in the office for the Distraction Engine crew. Don’t forget to check out Matt’s Book on Inkshares, and – to a lesser extent – Mark’s show on Brum Radio. Dozens of... Continue Reading →

Duration: 00:54:19

We hate Carbide

We’re back after yet another unplanned outage, but this time with special guest, YouTuber Harrison Bulman. Headlines A hacker from South Africa just rescued the first NASA computer in space Japanese pensioner fights bear with karate Samsung’s recall of its... Continue Reading →

Duration: 00:47:30

Hey DC, why you no make good movies?

Hello, and welcome to the Distraction Engine, the show that just wants to be left alone for a bit and wonders if that’s too much to ask. Headlines Adidas robot factory coming to Atlanta Sword fighting Grandmother in India... Continue Reading →

Duration: 00:57:21

Trump or Jesus?

Welcome to the Distraction Engine, the show that always strives to go “faster, higher, and stronger”. This week Steadman is joined by the Mizfit Geek, Frank Santiago. Remember For this episode only, the Distraction Engine is the official podcast of... Continue Reading →

Duration: 01:07:21


Welcome to the Distraction Engine, the show that likes you, but doesn’t like-you like-you, OK? Headlines Heatwave in Siberia is releasing Anthrax killing 1500 Reindeer and hospitalizing 40 people Council on the hunt for pranksters behind these funny park bench... Continue Reading →

Duration: 00:55:40

Get out of my birthday cake, Zack Snyder

This week Steadman and Matt are joined by Matt Dodd, of the Film Fights Podcast. Headlines SoftBank teams up with Honda to create a car that can read your emotions Drawing eyes on cow butts may ward off hungry lions... Continue Reading →

Duration: 01:05:18

Banksy 4 Kidz

Welcome to the Distraction Engine, the show that doesn’t know the meaning of the word persiflage.

Duration: 00:49:34

Catch 'em all!

Welcome to the show you can only see through the screen on your phone and is currently jammed halfway inside the wall of a 7/11.

Duration: 00:58:23

You dirty rat!

Rats save their friends, journalists change their ties and there's something about those Chinese sex dolls!

Duration: 01:04:10

DuckRace and Brexit – The worst buddycop movie

Coming up: the free trial of Earth has expired, so if we want to continue using it we’ll have to pay up, and stop those illegal ducks!

Duration: 00:51:31

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