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The Flop House

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Elliott Kalan, Dan McCoy, and Stuart Wellington are friends who've decided to express that friendship not by doing productive or enjoyable things, but instead by watching critical or commercial flops, and then discussing those terrible movies for you to enjoy in your ear-holes. Although, honestly, most of the time they just talk about random bullshit.




Ep. #240 - Sicilian Vampire

It's Smalltember Small-Stars, with a return to Frank D'Angelo, the Canadian energy drink magnate and bad movie savant behind No Depo$it. This time we discuss his undead Italian saga, Sicilian Vampire. Meanwhile Stuart is on about millennials, Dan poses a salient point about bananas, and Elliott is bound and determined to go through this movie beat-by-beat. Wikipedia page for Sicilian Vampire LIVE SHOWS Oct. 8 – The whole gang in Los Angeles, at the Regent Theater Oct. 21 - The whole gang...

Duration: 01:56:40

Ep, #239 - Ghost in the Shell

We're back, baby! And we're all ready to jack into the matrix to cyber-brain download Ghost in the Shell, or something. Meanwhile, Dan goes all googly eyes, Stuart spins some controversial theories about Middle-Earth, and Elliott takes us down to his seafood restaurant. And yes, we hear that crackling noise on Elliott's audio too. We have no idea why it happened, but we're working on it. Let's hope our cross-country recording isn't bedeviled by Gremlins. Wikipedia synopsis for Ghost in the...

Duration: 01:55:01

Ep. #238 - xXx: The Return of Xander Cage LIVE

While Elliott's making the transition into the relaxed SoCal lifestyle, we're running some shows we have in the bank, like this live show from back in the winter, which may have been our best one yet. Meanwhile, Elliott reveals Hitchcock's commercial work, Stuart wants us to know that he can do impressions too, and Dan accidentally says something untoward about his mom. Wikipedia synopsis for xXx: The Return of Xander Cage LIVE SHOWS Sept. 9 – No Elliott, but with Ronny Chieng in New...

Duration: 01:15:10

Ep. #237 - Ishtar

It's an emotional moment. This is the last regular episode where all three peaches will be in Dan's apartment recording together, in the same space. It's also the ten year anniversary of this dumb podcast's existence. So how did we celebrate it? By taking a look at what was supposedly the worst movie back when we were growing up, Ishtar. Elliott vastly improves "Meet Dave," Dan somehow misses some nudity, and Stuart talks about a "tug in his butt," whatever that means. We're gonna miss...

Duration: 01:50:29

Ep. #236 - Suicide Squad LIVE

We reach way back into the Flop House vault to bring you a live show from the winter, with Suicide Squad. The commercials are all-new, though. That's good for something, right? Meanwhile, Elliott tries to sell us the character of the Joker, Stuart suggests the hell of being Boomarang, and Dan is accident prone. Wikipedia synopsis for Suicide Squad

Duration: 01:04:51

Ep. #235 - USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage

It's Cagemas in July, with the utterly forgotten USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage. Meanwhile, Stu teaches us how the cool kids say "Indianapolis," Elliott makes fun of an adorable old veteran, and Dan invents the WWDND bracelet. Meanwhile, Owen Wilson shows up way too much. Wikipedia synopsis for USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage Movies recommended in this episode: I Am Not Your Negro Crumb Baby Driver LIVE SHOW ALERT! We’ll be at the PHILLY PODCAST FESTIVAL on July 16th at 8:30 pm!

Duration: 01:58:59

Ep. #234 - The Accountant

It's the movie that thinks autism is the secret to becoming a John Wick-style super-killer, The Accountant. Meanwhile Elliott details Randy Newman's difficulty with dirty rhymes, Dan exhausts his knowledge of Zurich, Stuart hates Cheerios, and we all make some probably ill-advised jokes about the murder of Jean Smart. Wikipedia synopsis for The Accountant Movies recommended in this episode: Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb The Blackcoat's...

Duration: 01:51:21

Ep.#233 - The Comedian

We discuss the most accurate and hilarious movie about stand-up ever made, The Comedian. Meanwhile Dan starts off the show by being gross, Stuart reveals his favorite kind of turtle, and Elliott tells us about a few nursery rhyme comedians. Apologies for the continued low Stuart audio. We're trying to get to the bottom of it. Wikipedia synopsis for A The Comedian Movies recommended in this episode: We Are Still Here She Wore a Yellow Ribbon The Muppet Movie LIVE SHOW ALERT! We'll be...

Duration: 01:43:22

Flop House Promotional Movie Minute

Just a little note and some goofery about our live show.

Duration: 00:05:36

Ep.#232 - A Dog's Purpose

We watch the dog grief porn A Dog's Purpose. Meanwhile Dan gets to the bottom of a Lassie mystery, Stuart gives us a hall pass, and Elliott masturbates to rhymes. Apologies for the audio that makes it sound like Stuart is in the other room. We have no idea how that happened. Wikipedia synopsis for A Dog's Purpose Movies recommended in this episode: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Hounds of Love 20th Century Women LIVE SHOW ALERT! We added another show on June 9 at The Bell House at...

Duration: 01:46:22

Ep. #231 - Mother's Day

Just in time for Mother's Day we discuss Mother's Day. Let it never to be said that we don't have our finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist. Meanwhile master of impressions Dan returns, Elliott sells branded Timothy Olyphant pants, Stu explains tattoo reveals, and Paul Sabourin from Paul and Storm guests. Wikipedia synopsis for Mother's Day Movies recommended in this episode: Resolution Colossal Topsy-Turvy Train to Busan Bad Moms LIVE SHOW ALERT! We added another show on June 9 at...

Duration: 01:46:12

Ep. #230 - Monster Trucks

We discuss the movie based on a not-really pun, Monster Trucks. Meanwhile Elliott talks about Love in an Elevator for waaay too long, Stu asks some Saved by the Bell questions, Dan's penis habits are described at length, and we're all sorry about the technical problems in this episode. Wikipedia synopsis for Monster Trucks Movies recommended in this episode: The Void The Purge: Election Year Creed

Duration: 01:55:35

Ep. #229 - Assassin's Creed

We discuss the movie made up entirely of video game cutscenes, Assassin's Creed. Meanwhile Elliott does the classic "apple bit," we hear another one of Stu's goofs and bloops, and Dan's sick voice is all gravely and such. Wikipedia synopsis for Collateral Beauty Movies recommended in this episode: Suddenly! The Music Room Critters 2

Duration: 01:39:08

Ep. #228 - Collateral Beauty

We discuss Will Smith's spiritual sequel to Seven Pounds, Collateral Beauty. Meanwhile, Stu unveils his hot new nickname, Elliott tries to get Keira Knightly's attention, and the less said about Dan in this episode, the better. Wikipedia synopsis for Collateral Beauty Movies recommended in this episode: Wonder Boys Get Out Promise

Duration: 01:31:42

Ep. #227 - 1941

An extra-special bonus episode for the MaxFun Drive, where we're joined by Mr. John Hodgman to talk about Steven Spielberg's legendary flop 1941. Movies recommended in this episode: I Wanna Hold Your Hand Manborg The Miracle of Morgan's Creek

Duration: 01:53:51

Ep. #226 - Max Steel

We discuss a movie from last year that flopped so badly that Elliott refuses to believe it exists: Max Steel. Meanwhile Dan sings a Carmen Sandiego duet, Stuart gives his fish-based SNL audition, and Elliott texts a lot. Wikipedia synopsis for Max Steel Movies recommended in this episode: The Neon Demon The Devils The Lobster

Duration: 01:40:12

Ep. #225 - Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings

Why is this movie not in Smalltember? Well, Stu said he wanted to watch Max Magician for his birthday, and we all said "fuck it." Meanwhile Dan doesn't know which corpse to punch, Elliott suggests an alternate course for Teen Wolf, and Stu has no pants. NO WIKIPEDIA SYNOPSIS for this film. Does it EVEN EXIST? Movies recommended in this episode: Moonlight The Edge of Seventeen Lost Soul My Night at Maud's

Duration: 01:51:31

Ep. #224 - Zoolander 2

We think this one broke Elliott, guys. We watched the only film Leonard Maltin walked out on: Zoolander 2. Meanwhile Dan totally nails a Mario impression, Stuart decides which Roger Rabbit weasel he is, and Elliott admits his fedora-wearing past. Wikipedia synopsis for Zoolander 2 Movies recommended in this episode: A Shot in the Dark Postcards from the Edge Love & Anarchy

Duration: 01:40:28

Ep. #223 - The Last Witch Hunter

We discuss The Last Witch Hunter. All other witch hunters presumably having been herded into the sea by the Red Bull. Meanwhile Meanwhile Elliott explains man-witches, Dan looks to an extreme James Bond to save a wounded nation, and Stuart is obsessed with billiards. Wikipedia synopsis for The Last Witch Hunter Movies recommended in this episode: Help Session 9 I Married a Witch

Duration: 01:43:01

Ep. #222 - Home Sweet Hell

We have a homecoming to Katherine Heigl (a heiglcoming? no.) with a movie that truly no one remembered existed but Dan, Home Sweet Hell. Meanwhile Stuart gives us his SNL audition, Dan explains the secret origin of Georgian cuisine, and Elliott plays the game show that's sweeping the nation. Wikipedia synopsis for Home Sweet Hell Movies recommended in this episode: Pennies from Heaven Manchester by the Sea Phantasm Wishmaster

Duration: 01:45:02

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