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We're watching every episode of Star Trek The Next Generation and we're sorry.

We're watching every episode of Star Trek The Next Generation and we're sorry.
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We're watching every episode of Star Trek The Next Generation and we're sorry.




Ep 174: Pizza Place Tough Guy (S7E23)

When a clump of crazy straws sets up shop inside the wiring of the Enterprise, the ship’s holodeck programs become self aware. But when the characters begin to endanger the ship, they attempt to take back control by playing by their rules. Who's got time for canapés? Is there something going on between Jellico and Nechayev? Does the Parrot Army have anything to do with any of this? It's the episode where we finally decide what Riker's favorite sexual position is.

Duration: 01:11:38

Ep 173: Young Liza Minnelli & Old Billy Eichner (S7E22)

When a mysterious probe delivers a holographic Daimon Bok to the Enterprise, it’s a revenge served lukewarm. But when Picard discovers he may have unknowingly sired a son, the ship drops everything to save the beautifully coiffed boy. Is “farmer” the most eccentric job you can have? Does Picard need to start keeping a loaded DustBuster under his pillow? Why stop work on an amazing invention five minutes before you’re done? It’s the episode where Maury Povich takes a turn as co-host.

Duration: 00:58:55

Ep 172: Butter Knife Bat'leth (S7E21)

When Worf and Alexander take a field trip to a Klingon renaissance fair, an assassination attempt is foiled, and an old family friend appears to help. But when Alexander decides not to go to Klingon summer camp, his mentors must face the possibility that he'll never become the warrior they want him to be. Are Eric's balloons here to stay? What does a Klingon scented candle smell like? Which one is Lursa and which one is B'Etor? It's the episode that knows where to get the raw materials.

Duration: 01:02:34

Ep 171: Warp Salieri (S7E20)

When Admiral Nechayev comes aboard, Picard would almost rather be relieved of command than carry out her orders. The mission coincides with Wesley’s Spring Break, and he’s eager to do some sweet bong rips to get out of the funk he’s been in. Who's the George of TNG? Why not deploy the Paul Sorvino Solution? Was anybody woke in the 90s? It’s the episode with all the pan flute. COOL!

Duration: 01:12:51

Ep 170: Four Octaves of Intelligence Range (S7E19)

When Worf fires a photon torpedo that goes off course, Picard and Data go on a road trip to retrieve it. Meanwhile, Dr. Crusher’s cure for Lt. Barclay’s flu ends up being a step in the wrong direction. How many arboretums are there? Is Nurse Ogawa’s relationship moving too fast? Is Kevin coming to Deep Space Nine? It’s the episode that’s a really beautiful tableau.

Duration: 00:51:56

Ep 169: Taking It Out on the Wall (S7E18)

When a nacelle engineer totally puts himself into his work, Worf and Troi are tasked with investigating the circumstances of his death. But when Troi starts displaying some similarly troubling feelings, it's up to Worf to keep her from going over the edge. Is LiveJournal a compulsory part of a Starfleet career? Where's the boldest place to kiss someone for the first time? Are there special phasers for the elderly? It's the episode that's only slightly better than Ben Affleck's first film!

Duration: 01:09:10

Ep 168: Emphatically Vaginal (S7E17)

When Data’s attempt to become a sculptor coincides with the ship encountering a rogue comet, eldritch emanations from the heavenly body cause him to take his exploration of an ancient art form way too far. Now the Entrepreneur is in ruins, and the only way to save it is for Picard to go incognito. Did we just witness an ice life genocide? Did Word and Geordi doom the ship by leaving a torpedo next to an open flame in engineering? Should Picard just blow up the damn ship? It’s the episode...

Duration: 01:09:10

Ep 167: Gruffness Quotient (S7E16)

When Data crash lands on "Planet Renaissance," he starts performing feats of strength and sells dangerous cargo to the blacksmith there. Meanwhile, Counselor Troi studies for a test where her answers have life-threatening consequences. Who's ever seen Space Rangers? What is the loaf of the week? Should we change the show's logo? It's the episode that suffers from mechanical amnesia.

Duration: 01:03:29

Ep 166: A Greek Chorus of Noxzema Commercial Kids (S7E15)

When Riker and Troi embark on a quarterly crew evaluation, four fresh-faced ensigns are pitted against each other to see who will get promoted, and who will be voted off the island. But when the Captain takes a special interest in big-dogging a familiar young Bajoran, the competition turns deadly. What does a staff meeting in Ten Forward sound like? Is Worf the best manager on the ship? Is Troi running a long con to get more face time with Lavelle? Its the episode that will serve as a time...

Duration: 01:01:41

Ep 165: Leotard Conversation (S7E14)

When Beverly’s grandma wills her an erotic candle, her eye color isn’t the only thing that changes. But Troi and Picard grow increasingly suspicious when she starts dressing like an old. Is this mayor what would happen if the Dark Crystal puppets grew up? Where do babies come from? Was Nagilum an MRA? It’s the episode where we come to loggerheads over podcasting fluid.

Duration: 01:15:17

Ep 164: Any Pixel in a Storm (S7E13)

When Worf’s brother sends word of pending calamity at the Diet Mintakan planet he’s living on, the Enterprise is there to stand bravely and selflessly by as a young civilization is winked out of existence. But when Dr. Rozhenko sneaks some refugees aboard, the only way to prevent a full blown Prime Directive violation is for Worf to dress up as Carl Weathers. How are these holodeck outages going to affect the ship’s first officer? What’s the best window treatment on which to preserve a...

Duration: 01:05:43

Ep 163: Spit Roast Big Dogging (S7E12)

When an Admiral from Starfleet Intelligence comes aboard, the Entrepreneur has to cut its holiday celebration short. But Riker’s misgivings about the mission and the man leading it boil over when a terrible, and very un-Roddenberry secret is uncovered. Is the Hood the Siberia of Starfleet? What is the top Riker? How is the Federation going to smooth this over with the Romulans? It’s the episode where Adam and Ben go to war with each other.

Duration: 01:03:52

Ep 162: Friends of DeSoto (S7E11)

When the Enterprise investigates a misaligned telescope on one of the great arrays, Worf begins experiencing some problems focusing. But when his issues at work spill over into his home life, his wife(!) helps him get back to where he belongs. Do amputees finish ahead of people who are bad at bat'leth? What kind of camping can you do in a shuttlecraft? Is there such thing as "the ultimate man-spread"? It's the episode that proves there's no floor drains in a shuttlebay.

Duration: 01:00:55

Ep 161: The Symphony of My Life is Flatulence (S7E10)

When a federation planet is a bit backed up, the Entrepreneur crew pull on their rubber gloves and get to work. But when one of the scientists starts insisting she’s Data’s mother, the mystery goes more than medium-deep. What’s the perfect can? Is this canonical phaser? Will we ever record sober again? It’s the episode where Data’s similarities to Ronald Reagan really start to trickle down.

Duration: 01:11:54

Ep 160: A Very Pronounced Headmouth (S7E9)

When the Entrepreneur goes on a search an rescue mission in a part of space with strange properties w/r/t fields, the situation gets hot in a global sort of way. A strangely loafed pair of siblings have gone Greenpeace on all local spaceships, and it’s up to Picard to deal with their inconvenient truth. When are the Ferengi going to get back to their Vegas residency? Can you Jake your own ship? Does Leonard Maltin review adult films? It’s the episode that’s a hyperbaric chamber preparing...

Duration: 00:57:42

Ep 159: Prick For Prick (S7E8)

When Picard and Beverly are abducted and fitted for mechanical nubbins, they start to share more than a mutual love of breakfast. Back on the ship, an extremely paranoid ambassador is trying to build his own bat cave in one of the condos. Does this episode take place in an alternate brunchaverse? Is Worf picking up extra shifts in the transporter room because he’s short on scarves? Is Picard getting a write-off for that Action Jacket? It’s the episode where we finally finish the ‘card...

Duration: 01:09:13

Ep 158: All Plenty, No Horn (S7E7)

When Lwaxana Troi drinks from a telepathic firehose, it gives her a wicked headache before putting her into a coma. But when Deanna Troi's investigation results in the discovery of a dark family secret, she must find a way to escape the prison constructed within her mother's mind. What is the easiest stitch? How do you comb your hair around temple loaf? Who does the gardening in the arboretum? It’s the episode that doesn’t have as many good ideas as the number of shows we have to do.

Duration: 01:01:38

Ep 157: A Murder Weapon Waiting to Happen (S7E6)

When a new Warp Core is installed, Geordi and Data spend a surprising amount of time on the phone with tech support trying to get it running. The stress really gets to Data, causing him to have bizarre nightmares. Is that super 90’s guy at the conn during third shift now? What are gas prices like in the Federation these days? How hard is it to find an erotic bakery in LA? It’s the episode where we fill up a cup holder.

Duration: 01:10:54

Ep 156: Perfect Warburton (S7E5)

When Picard turns up alive, he "kills" Commander RIker before taking command of the pirate ship. But when the Enterprise puts Data in charge of the rescue mission, workplace conflicts arise for both crews. Is pain a good leadership style? Where does Picard keep his dog tags? How do dye packs work? It's the episode where we run out of torpedoes.

Duration: 01:06:28

Ep 155: Foam Stone Holocaust (S7E4)

When Picard turns up dead, the Entrepreneur’s new captain is a vengeance-motivated Riker with total mission discretion. But it’s not long before Riker himself is captured, leaving the ship in Data’s capable, detachable hands. How much disbelief can this show get us to suspend? What’s the best way to maintain your Rimforest? How deep in the lineup do they go before the Entrepreneur doesn’t have a qualified captain? It’s the episode where we tie a red bandana around our bust of Big Rod.

Duration: 01:00:32

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