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Episodes

61: Spectre of the Gun: Wild Wild West

9/1/2017
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A spectre is haunting Star Trek: The Original Series season 3 - the Spectre of the Gun. All the powers of the Federation have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Kirk and Spock, human and Vulcan, Klingon and Romulan. Where is the federation starship on patrol that has not been waylaid by weird space beings and forced to do gunfights? Where is the federation starship that has not pissed off an alien race so bad those aliens made them hang out on a cobbled-together...

Duration: 00:42:20


60: Is There No Truth In Beauty?: Hexagonal Prisms

8/17/2017
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chelsea and SEM watch TOS season 3 episode "Is There No Truth In Beauty?" the crew is super horny, an alien lives in a box, and spock wears special glasses. it's OK!

Duration: 00:41:07


59: And The Children Shall Lead: Ring Around The Rosie [REMIX]

8/8/2017
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these are some bad kids, folks! chelsea and SEM talk season 3 TOS episode "And The Children Shall Lead," where kids are evil and you can't trust angels. oh, there's also a mass suicide in this one. in space!

Duration: 00:39:53


Episode 58: The Paradise Syndrome: Nice Scenery

7/25/2017
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The crew lands on a planet and Kirk promptly falls in a hole and gets amnesia. Chelsea and SEM try to deal with the episode's events as best they can. This time, Long Trek Home discusses the Star Trek TOS season 3 episode "The Paradise Syndrome" ...! It's a weird, weird episode.

Duration: 03:58:43


Episode 57: The Enterprise Incident: [borat voice] my wife

7/18/2017
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Hey, this episode's pretty good! Chelsea and SEM watch "The Enterprise Incident," the second episode of Star Trek: TOS season three. That's half of season three that's tolerable already! Anyway, Spock gets a rare love interest, Kirk needs a nap, and the Commander is your hosts' new collective fav. The Romulans have a point, Scotty's amazing except for his hair, and - did we mention the Commander?

Duration: 00:32:56


Episode 56: Spock's Brain: Oh No

7/11/2017
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jeff comes back to help chelsea and SEM deal with the first episode of star trek: the original series season three, "spock's brain." oh jeez. just ... oh, jeez. oh no. oh boy. note: this episode is out a week late because SGDQ happened. oops? oops.

Duration: 00:46:32


EPISODE X: Season 2 Wrap-Up: we got an email

6/27/2017
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At the end of season two, we got an e-mail! We also talked about season 2 and listed our favorite episodes. C'mon down and check it out.

Duration: 00:32:43


Episode 55: Assignment: Earth: Your New Favorite Millennial History Podcast

6/20/2017
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we watched the final episode of star trek TOS season 2 - "assignment: earth" it's a failed pilot for a show that never happened, and your intrepid hosts don't need long to figure out why. chelsea and sem get on a conference call with guest host jeff to talk about conference calls, failed pilots, and stock footage. google teaches us all about half-remembered history. also, there's a cat. bonus: listen to this dope mashup of 99 red balloons x 99 problems

Duration: 01:08:25


Episode 54: Bread and Circuses: Slaves to the NHS

6/14/2017
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this episode forces us to dig into the nitty gritty of slavery and also jesus. chelsea doesn't go in depth with marxist theory. modern day rome has a tv station that is a point of contention between the hosts. spock and bones do a lot of fighting for plot purposes. kirk has a dubious interaction with a woman. merikus is a tragic figure, but like, in the classical sense probably? just read the water margin instead of watching this episode of star trek. but definitely listen to this...

Duration: 01:22:16


Episode 53: The Ultimate Computer: The Only Winning Move

6/6/2017
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We watched "The Ultimate Computer" from Star Trek TOS season 2! It was really good! unionize now and then you can rise from the dead

Duration: 02:05:56


Episode 52: The Omega Glory: A Star Captain's Most Solemn Oath

5/30/2017
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In this very special Memorial Day episode, which was absolutely recorded that way on purpose, we swear, we watched Star Trek: TOS episode "The Omega Glory." You should absolutely watch "The Omega Glory" ASAP. Please, it is incredible and neither of us can figure out how or why it got made. Things get patriotic, we solve an anatomical riddle of the future, talk about mummies, and recite the pledge of allegiance as badly as possible. There's a bullshit space disease and a mad captain,...

Duration: 02:45:07


Episode 51: By Any Other Name: Space Invaders

5/23/2017
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We're still watching season 2 of Star Trek: The Original Series! This time, we watched "By Any Other Name," an episode about horrifying tentacle monsters who basically just look like human beings who make slightly off fashion choices. This episode is extremely topical because we make references to orbs again, the hot new craze everyone loves and worships. Oh, and the Enterprise gets taken over by secret tentacle monsters or whatever. Seriously, we never see their true forms. Scotty makes...

Duration: 00:58:28


Episode 50: Patterns of Force: Uniform Thieves Anonymous

5/18/2017
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it's the nazi episode. there's nazis, but in space! this is a weird, weird episode. but it's not bad? there's unsubtle metaphor, non-metaphor, and just so much heil-ing. so much. we barely mention it in the episode, but trust me, it's ever-present in this episode. this is why you don't break the prime directive, kids. anyway, nazis bad, enterprise good, spock wears a bunch of hats. listen to the episode to hear us puzzle over many things!

Duration: 00:52:55


Episode 49: Return to Tomorrow: Podcaster's Fiat

5/9/2017
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We're still on season 2 of TOS, folks, the Star Trek season that never ends. This time we watched "Return to Tomorrow." A terrible man of online haunts this episode like a grim spectre. Bodies are stolen, women are real, and we love orb. Chelsea gets mad at a lot of things this time. SEM knows what's going on, and appreciates the details of science. Neither knows what warp speed actually is.

Duration: 00:46:39


Episode 48: A Private Little War: Full Metal Vest

5/4/2017
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Warning - This episode has some pretty heavy themes, including some very rape-y bits. Our mission to watch all of Star Trek continues. We're in the middle of season 2, and watched "A Private Little War." Anyway, hey, this episode sure is a Vietnam War metaphor, huh?????? Boy howdy. Nona has an amazing vest. You may notice an episode missing in the feed! Various disasters transpired and that episode is temporarily lost - having the program crash and the file get corrupted TWICE while...

Duration: 01:12:44


Episode 46: A Piece of the Action: A Piece of the Action

4/13/2017
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You know that episode of Star Trek: The Original Series where there's just a whole planet full of gangsters? This is that one. People get kidnapped over and over, the phrase 'a piece of the action' is said about a hundred times, and Kirk wears a terrible hat. There's an entire society based on a novelty oversized book about gangsters. Knife kid is gone too soon. We love this episode. Please watch it.

Duration: 00:56:12


Episode 45: The Gamesters of Triskelion: Gone Galt

4/6/2017
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The quest to watch all of Star Trek continues, this time with TOS episode "The Gamesters of Triskelion"...! Chelsea watched this episode two weeks before the episode and can't decipher her notes, SEM is the only one who can pronounce Ayn Rand, and we all learn important lessons about Jiffy Pop. For once Chekov doesn't want to fuck, synonyms for slavery are discussed, and bets are placed. Also, we have questions about Lars. Oh, also dinner trays are great teaching tools.

Duration: 00:47:19


EPISODE X: MUDD IN YOUR EYE: THEYRE DIFFERENT GUYS

3/22/2017
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we've been doing this show for a year, so to mix things up a little, we read a book!!!! it's a star trek book, don't worry. it's called "mudd in your eye" and it is certainly a piece of fiction that was published. by the way, we're taking next week off because chelsea is going on vacation

Duration: 01:19:05


Episode 44: The Trouble With Tribbles: Agricultural Studies Department

3/14/2017
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this episode is an absolute auditory hell and there's nothing i can do about it. im sorry. we had two guests and things went awry. kirk lied, tribbles died both hosts' moms are guests on this episode!!!!!!

Duration: 01:10:34


Episode 43: Wolf In The Fold: She's Gonna Die

3/9/2017
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what is a psycho-tricorder help

Duration: 00:51:20

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