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Rollin' with No Homies

When's the last time you talked to another man about something that was going on in your life and how you were feeling about it? Something besides sports, business, or cars--Go ahead. Think about it. We'll wait. If you're like a lot of men, it's a been a while. Loneliness and isolation is an epidemic in the western world in general, but especially among men. When men open up about the reasons they live in isolation, you find that it is often a fear of closeness and a fear of being hurt that...

Duration: 00:43:51

Beyond Boobs, Babes, and Bloodsports

Connor Beaton has gone from construction worker to opera singer to guy who lived in his car. Like many of us, he made some bad choices and ruined multiple friendships and relationships. When his despair finally reached a point where he was willing to open up about it with a few of his closest friends, he saw, to his surprise, how his openness and vulnerability allowed them to be vulnerable as well. This made him want to begin to take a deeper look into psychology and the ways that men can...

Duration: 01:01:13

NOT As Seen On TV

If you were a social anthropologist and you wanted to understand the norms and values of some ancient society, you’d likely take a look at their cultural artifacts. You’d closely examine their writings, paintings, sculptures, etc., to look for clues regarding how people within a certain culture were expected to behave and interact with the people around them. 1000 years from now, when anthropologists somehow get their hands on our TV shows, they’re going to learn a thing or two about how...

Duration: 00:52:44

Don't F&#k It Up!

Girls who grow up with fathers who are angry, dismissive, and/or emotionally absent will grow up to be women who take a lot of shit from men. (Generally speaking, of course.) This well-evidenced assumption can be a source of tremendous anxiety for fathers who are raising young women. Rare, indeed, is the father who couldn’t care less about his child’s future. But, unfortunately, rare indeed is also the father who had healthy, egalitarian hetereosexual relationships modeled for him as a...

Duration: 00:50:41

Uncomfortably Numb

When you were a young boy, you were probably very comfortable expressing grief over your losses. When the wheel fell off your favorite choo-choo train, you cried. When you lost your beloved binkie, you cried. If you had a pet that mysteriously disappeared one day, you cried and cried and cried. All of that crying was helping you to process loss in a way that was meant to bring you wisdom about the bittersweet realities of the world around you. Those emotions were meant to help you build...

Duration: 00:59:43

Sex Is A Crisis & An Opportunity

Are we entering into a new age of sexual anxiety? Research shows that younger generations are having less sex these days than you’d think, given the proliferation of internet porn, location-based “dating” sites, and sexting. Instead of making people feel more uninhibited in expressing their sexuality, easy, 24-7, access to sexually explicit material may actually be making us all feel more self-conscious, uncomfortable, and afraid. In this episode, therapist and sex researcher Alexandra...

Duration: 00:52:11

It Ain't Just About Getting Laid

Man Rule #1: Real men have as much sex as possible, whenever possible, with as many hot and different chicks as possible, with as big of a dick as possible. So, if you are a man, and find yourself craving intimacy, feeling attached to one of the women you have sex with, not interested in women, feeling afraid or confused about sex or your sexuality due to past trauma, and/or feeling insecure about your body— SEE MAN RULE #1. For better or worse, sex is often central to men’s...

Duration: 00:46:11

Grow Up, Man

Level 1 of recovery is the struggle to gain sobriety from the substance or behavior that has taken control of your life. Level 2 of recovery is the struggle to gain real emotional maturity and balance by gaining humility in our relationship to ourselves, our relationship to others, and our relationship to a higher power or greater purpose. Wow. For most of us, that’s a pretty steep climb. And you sure don't have to be in recovery in order to benefit from that message, because really, it's...

Duration: 00:59:45

The Gift of Desperation

People in recovery speak a language that makes a lot of us uncomfortable. In a culture where we’re told repeatedly to put only our best foot forward and treat emotion like it’s an inconvenience that only serves to get in the way of maximum productivity and efficiency, all of the earnest talk about self-love and Higher Powers and connection can seem downright weird. Unfortunately, this perception scares many people who need recovery away from the very things that could help them for far too...

Duration: 00:49:22

When Bad Diseases Happen to Good People

In the absence of an answer as to the true cause of the illness, we often invent one. (See Episode 27 with Dr. Kevin McCauley for more on this.) Throughout human history, people have sought to explain illnesses through an individual’s moral or spiritual failings. To this day, we say, “Bless you,” when someone sneezes, which some historians believe is a holdover from medieval times when people believed that the sneeze expelled a demonic spirit from your body. In recent years, AIDS,...

Duration: 01:05:06

All In The Fam Damily

The day that a child raised in addiction finally becomes an adult and sets out into the world on their own, is the day they finally feel free. Free from the chaos and the pressure and the terror that comes with growing up in a place where you never quite felt safe. Many Adult Children of Addiction (ACoAs) even gain tremendous strengths from growing up in such adverse circumstances and become extremely successful in many aspects of their lives. There is a powerful line from the amazing...

Duration: 01:07:14

When You Need Help Getting Help

If you saw that someone you loved was on fire, running wildly down the street, you’d probably chase after them with a bucket of water. But, if you suspected that same loved one was struggling with an addictive disorder, you might be reluctant to intervene. “It’s none of my business,” or “They’ll have to hit rock bottom before they’re ready to get help” you might say. Or— let's be honest, because it happens a lot— the person just pisses you off and alienates you, which makes helping them...

Duration: 00:50:14

027: Hey, Addiction! WTF?

Addiction means that you can’t stop; but, some people eventually can. Addiction is a medical condition; but, it’s also a spiritual condition. Addiction is caused by societal and psychological factors and not by the drugs; but, sometimes it is caused by the drugs. Some people use every drug there is, and nothing happens. They can walk away. So why can’t those others? Are they just bad, selfish people who lack morals and values? Or, are they people struggling with a chronic illness? Clear...

Duration: 01:08:37

026: Self-Love Is So Unmanly

They’re sexy, they’re interesting, and they ignore you. Obviously, they’re your type. Your intense attraction to this person must be love. So, you enter into a relationship. Soon, your dream lover morphs into a bit of a nightmare. They’re a bottomless pit of need-- full of unreasonable expectations, vicious insults, and insane demands. Your own needs and wishes don’t seem to matter to this person at all… So, you leave, right? Well… Not, if you suffer from what psychologist Ross...

Duration: 00:48:33

025: I Learned It By Watching You

Reality can be a real buzzkill. While it’s true that most people can drink alcohol, use prescription pain killers, and even experiment with recreational drugs without becoming addicted, it’s also true that one in seven people in the United States will develop a substance use disorder. If you’re one of the lucky six out of seven, most of the stories you’ve heard about addiction are probably tragic. Advocacy organizations and government agencies often gather up their sobering statistics,...

Duration: 00:21:43

024: An Eyebrow-Raising Approach to Personal Success

“All the world’s a stage,” and every writer (and/or podcast producer) makes a promise to trot out this tired old Shakespearian cliché every time we’re describing an entertainer who has something to teach us about life. It’s one of our signature moves. And so it is with Jason Hewlett, a man whose incredible facial acrobatics, spot-on impressions, and commitment to his own personal integrity breathe new life into the most overused of metaphors. In this episode, Jason explains how “The...

Duration: 00:58:30

022: The Deep Dive Guys Start Making Cents

Folks, do you like a good bargain? Then you’re going to LOVE the deal we’re offering to you, and only you, our best listeners, on this episode of The Man Rules podcast! If you listen now, you’ll get to hear not one, not two, but THREE incredible men share their fears, shame, and personal insights about money. That’s three for the price of one! Act now and you’ll also receive: The guys’ thoughts on The Man Rule that requires men to be the primary financial provider for his family,A...

Duration: 00:58:00

022: The Generational Gender Shift

Times are changing. Especially in terms of our society’s attitudes about traditional gender roles. For some, times can’t change fast enough. They are eager for a time when we’ll finally be free from the personal and professional limitations that result from gender stereotypes. But for others, these changes seem to signal the collapse of society as they know it. They strongly feel that following The Man Rules and The Woman Rules guarantees them a certain amount of reward, stability, and...

Duration: 00:49:19

021: The Games We Play

In 2016, the word “adulting” was officially introduced in our lexicon when it became a top contender for Oxford Dictionaries Word of The Year. “Adulting” is defined as “the practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks.” You typically see the word “adulting” used within the context of its tendency to suck. Thankfully, Jason Kotecki is here to save us from getting too sucked into the suckage of adulting....

Duration: 01:01:19

020: Power, Porn, and Patriarchy

Imagine your life without porn. No, really. Try. What do you think would happen if you did turn off the porn for a while? Would you start to think more about the role that sex plays in your life? Would you learn more about yourself and your sexuality by spending more time exploring your own body and your partner’s (or partners’)? Would you start to question whether your sex life has really been enhanced by porn? Would you start to wonder if porn had left you feeling alienated from others...

Duration: 00:53:53

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