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The Worst Writer in the World - available now

Meet Rufus & Howard. Rufus is an English teacher with a degree in literature. Howard is an unemployed idiot. One of them spent their entire childhood writing stories and scripts... Unfortunately, it was Howard. Welcome to The Worst Writer in the World; a comedy storytelling podcast in which Rufus attempts to read everything that Howard wrote, while Howard listens and feels increasingly ashamed. Together, they'll probe the plot holes, interrogate the inconsistencies, and use their adult...


Series 4, Episode 6

Series 4, Episode 6 - SPACE ANTS! Giant ant creatures from outer-space have invaded the Earth and enslaved humanity, which is seriously getting in the way of us recording the last in the current series of The ManBuyCow Podcast. How will Rufus & Howard cope with their new slave jobs? Will Uncle Dennis Quaid lead his small band of useless rebels to victory, or will the Space Ants eat them? Who will betray humanity and join the InformAnts? And who is the only man who can save the world? FIND...


Series 4, Episode 4

The Doctor in the Wheelie Bin. It's another Doctor Who Special from Rufus & Howard! In which Rufus reads a Doctor Who script that Howard wrote when he was at school! Just like last time! But better! Or maybe equally as good! Or worse! Who knows? // Listen as Tom Baker Doctor Who and Jamie have such exciting adventures as: Going to the cinema! Visiting a policeman's house! Having a nap! // Can you trust your own hairdryer? What's in the evil Aranthran bag? Why is that police constable...


Series 4, Episode 1

The Congregation in the Conservatory. Why did Rufus burn down the church? What does Howard want to show you in the shed? What are all those single ladies doing in the dining room? What are the rules to 'Whack a Goldfish'? And what's your favourite pop record? Find out, in the first in a brand new series of The ManBuyCow Podcast!


Series 3, Episode 5

The Crisps in the Microwave. Who stole Rufus & Howard's front door? Who is Dennis Quaid's perfect partner? If you could have any superpower, would you choose 'jumping'? What are all those cows doing in the back garden? Why is the shed full of Hitlers? What kind of fairy-space-tale-magic is afoot in Great Aunty Beatrix's house? Find out what's at the top of the beanstalk - by listening to this episode of The ManBuyCow Podcast.


Series 3, Episode 4

The Men in the Shed. It's another ManBuyCow Podcast Storytime Special! In which Rufus reads a story that Howard wrote when he was young. This time, it's the story of two scientists trapped in a shed in the arctic. How will they escape the impenetrable wooden shack? Will they use their scientific equipment to save themselves by science? Why are there three stools for only two people? Who stole the emergency axe? Was it one of the invisible polar bears? Find out, in 'Midnight Smoke' or...


Series 3, Episode 1

The Monster in the Cupboard. What happened to Rufus, after Howard stranded him in the 1980s? Why is there a wedding cake in the cellar? How do you lose a house in online gambling? Where did all those policemen go? And why is Grett Binchleaf pretending to be a teacher? The ManBuyCow Podcast is back with series three: it's everything you feared it would be AND MORE!


Series 2, Episode 9

Treason What's the best way to abolish the British Royal Family? Why did Uncle Mick glue a mouse to a xylophone? What will happen in the future? And what is the terrifying secret of Rufus' mum? FIND OUT! In this last in the current series of The ManBuyCow Podcast.


Series 2, Episode 8

The Dictator in the Dining Room. Why has Rufus never had a birthday before? Why is Mister Fluck locked in the cupboard? Who put that dead body in the bathroom? And will Howard solve the mystery of Who shot Hitler? FIND OUT! by listening to this very special birthday episode of The ManBuyCow Podcast.


Series 2, Episode 7

The Doctor Who Special. In which Rufus reads a Doctor Who story that Howard wrote when he was at school, and nothing else happens whatsoever. If you are here to sample, experience or review this podcast, don't start with this episode, as it is nothing like the others. However, if you're here for Doctor Who and couldn't give two slaps upside a monkey's jackhole about The ManBuyCow Podcast - you might as well start with this load of old rubbish.


Series 2, Episode 6

The Flashback in the Cupboard. Where is the mysteriously missing sketch? What always happens when Rufus & Howard get drunk? How many uses does cheese have? What's the difference between punching and fisting? And are we too old for this? The ManBuyCow Podcast is the only place you can definitely find out the answers to all these questions AND MORE without paying a SINGLE PENNY!


Series 2, Episode 5

The Uncle in the Future. Why has Rufus nailed a guinea pig to the phone? Would John Lennon have preferred to be a fishmonger? Do radishes celebrate Christmas? What did the Russians have against dogs? And how do the people of Britain feel about a melon becoming Prime Minister?


Series 2, Episode 4

The Melon in the Office. Why is there an enormous egg in the fridge? How does a melon become Prime Minister? What have love and treehouses got in common? And who needs the advice of a frustrated orphan, a dead racist, and a clairvoyant kettle?


Series 2, Episode 3

The Valentine Special. WARNING: this episode is very sexy and those of a delicate disposition SHOULD NOT LISTEN. We took out all the sketches, the plot, the music, and the characters - and instead, this episode is just Rufus reading an erotic story that Howard wrote several years ago. ***(CONTAINS GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF RUDE BITS)*** If you are a new listener - do not listen to this episode first. Or second. Or at all. If you are a regular listener - do not listen to this episode. If you...


Series 2, Episode 1

The Bomb in the Toaster. Who made the fridge explode? Why did Mister Fluck get sacked from his job in television (again)? Can Hitler help uncover the truth about what happened to Rufus' mum? FInd out, in a magical realm we've never been to before... or have we? (we totally have).


Series 1, Episode 6

The Demon in the Cellar. What's at the bottom of the neverending staircase to the underworld? What happens to Dennis Quaid when there's no jam left for his toast? And who's really in control of the economy? To find out, Rufus & Howard must visit their Great Aunty Beatrix. Unfortunately, she's been dead for years.


Series 1, Episode 5

The Old Man in the Attic. Why is Rufus sleeping in the shed? What is Howard's idea of heaven? And who is the internationally famous old man in the attic? Find out in episode five, with special guest appearances from Mister Fluck, Grandpappy Doo, and Death.


Series 1, Episode 4

The Howard in the Sack. Why has Howard been sacked from the podcast? Is it because he offended Canada? Will Rufus find a replacement in time to record episode four: The Howard in the Sack?


Series 1, Episode 2

The Horse in the Bathroom. Why is there a horse in Rufus & Howard's bathroom? And what is the answer to the million-pound question? Howard knows, but he's too busy smashing ukuleles to tell anyone.


Series 1, Episode 1

The Body in the Kitchen. What is in the mysterious box that Uncle Mick left in his will? In order to find out, Rufus & Howard each need to get married - but Howard's busy worrying about vicious dog attacks, and Rufus thinks women prefer men who live in trees. Will they persuade someone to marry them? And will it be worth it when they finally open the box? Find out, by listening to Episode 1 now.


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