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The Overwhelmed Brain with Paul Colaianni

Self Development >

The Overwhelmed Brain is a podcast whose purpose is to help people learn to live a stress-free life. Paul Colaianni interviews leaders in the fields of personal growth, human potential, and spirituality.

The Overwhelmed Brain is a podcast whose purpose is to help people learn to live a stress-free life. Paul Colaianni interviews leaders in the fields of personal growth, human potential, and spirituality.
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Portland, OR


The Overwhelmed Brain is a podcast whose purpose is to help people learn to live a stress-free life. Paul Colaianni interviews leaders in the fields of personal growth, human potential, and spirituality.




(617) 858-6463


Stupid questions that heal - Dealing with the Sociopath - Endless codependence

1. Asking yourself stupid questions may be the path to healing and moving through the hard stuff in your life. We often have choices when it appears we don't - stupid questions may lead to more choices. 2. Sociopathic people in the workplace and at home can be extremely difficult to deal with. I give you one effective method of doing so. 3. In codependence, there is usually a giver and a taker. I'll give you one guess who gets burnt out while the other thinks there's nothing wrong with the...

Duration: 00:57:33

Will letting go of my narcissistic mom destroy my self-worth?

Letting go of a narcissistic parent can seem like cutting off a limb to some people, but what happens right after the moment you make the decision to cut them out of your life? Matthew Bivens of the Having it A.L.L. podcast joins me today to discuss this very thing.

Duration: 00:54:50

Getting along with everyone - Stuck in the marriage - Get offline to stretch your mind

1. Race, culture and background can dictate personality and behavior. A listener writes in and asks how to get along with almost everyone. 2. A woman asks if I have any words of wisdom for her regarding a drifting marriage and isolation from family. 3. If you really want to stretch your mind, meet in person, not online. Make real connections.

Duration: 01:08:58

Getting the career you want with Scott Barlow

Getting into alignment with a career you want is a whole lot more fulfilling then trudging through each day trying to make the career you're in work. I talk with Scott Barlow, a regular of The Overwhelmed Brain, on finding work that fits and creating the kind of happiness in your life that you can actually get paid for. visit

Duration: 00:38:43

An Addict's Mind - Is Suffering Optional - Avoid Healing by Judging Others

1. The addict has a different perspective of the world according to a recovering addict that writes in to the show. 2. We're told that suffering is optional. I make an argument against and for it. 3. Every judgment you have is a lack of acceptance in you. I help a listener understand his options when it comes to judging his girlfriend

Duration: 00:54:08

Resolving Before New Years - Are You The Problem - Free Will or Destiny - Get Ready for Next Year

1. Resolving issues before New Year's resolutions is a better practice for some people. If you have trouble keeping your resolutions, perhaps it's time to change when you make them. 2. A listener writes in and wonders if she is toxic like her boyfriend's ex's or if he is the common denominator. 3. Is free will really free? This philosophical perspective may start the new year off with many questions. 4. If you reflect on how your year went, it's time to look at what you really value so you...

Duration: 01:02:27

They love you but don't like to say it - Getting over the guilt of how you treated your ex - You can manipulate but should you

1. Is it hard for you or your partner to say I love you? Sometimes the past can play an important role to prevent or encourage those words to come out of someone's mouth. If the love is there but the words aren't, it doesn't always mean there is no love. 2. When you think about how you treated your ex, do you feel guilty? If so, this segment will help you cope and perhaps even get over the guilt so that you can look forward to a brighter future in yourself and your relationships. 3. If you...

Duration: 01:11:34

Codependency: The Subtle Erosion of Love and Connection

Codependence is when two or more people fulfill a need for each other that strengthens a dysfunction between them. You usually see this kind of thing between a helper / people-pleaser and a drug addict or an alcoholic. Of course, even someone who is just needy or desperate for attention can be the second half of a codependent relationship. In either case, there is the dysfunction of one person continuing to support the dysfunctional behavior of another. It's the perfect imbalance of love and...

Duration: 00:53:20

The Adapting Chameleon Personality - When they hurt you to get rid of you - Accepting or denying toxic family members

1. Are you a chameleon? Do you change as needed for every person and situation? If so, is it really serving you? 2. If someone has ever hurt you so that you would let them go, this segment may tell you why. Fear of your reaction is usually the cause but there are others. 3. Speaking of reactions, what do you do with friends and family that are aggressive or explosive? Do you invite them to the wedding or are you just setting yourself up for disaster?

Duration: 01:08:04

When your partner sides with their family against you

If your partner's family is against you and your partner sides with them, what do you do? When you can't feel safe in your own relationship because your partner's priority is his or her own family, you may have some hard choices to make. An emotionally intelligent conversation between Matthew Bivens and I on this special episode of The Overwhelmed Brain.

Duration: 01:04:40

The cheater who went from kind to cold when caught - Ex won't return even after I improve - Your intuition needs closure

1 She caught her husband cheating, he blamed her and her family for the affair. He used to be loving and supportive. Now that he can't get his way, he is cold and manipulative. 2 She wants her ex back but all he wants is sex. She complies but feels empty and lonely without him. Now that she has healed from her past and doing better, he still won't come back. 3 When your intuition kicks in, it's important to follow it through to the end. You may not like what you find but at least you'll have...

Duration: 01:10:01

Holding on to a lie to keep the relationship going

When you find out a lie that your partner has been holding on to for months or years, where does that leave the relationship? What if it's a minor lie and your relationship has been going great? Or what if it's a massive lie that you cannot get past? Matthew Bivens of the Having it A.L.L. podcast joins me to answer an email on this very subject in this special mid-week episode of TOB.

Duration: 01:33:19

Gain Empowerment and Inner Strength by Accepting that Death Could Be The Outcome

How bad can your panic and anxiety get? I had one panic attack in my life and it was at that moment a part of me died, opening up a new way of being. Nothing like panicking in the desert, having no money, a broken car, and losing the car and everything in it to set off an anxiety attack. The worst possible scenario was unfolding and I had to either accept and live with the consequences, or not accept what was happening and continue resisting what was absolutely unavoidable. When I finally...

Duration: 00:32:03

Attracting higher quality partners - Feeling sorry for those that abuse you - Try, try again or do or do not

1. Do you attract the worst partners? What does it take to find a normal person to date? There is a path to attracting quality partners but it may involve facing your fear of loss. 2. If you feel bad for your emotional abuser or manipulator, you are more likely to stay in the relationship and take the abuse. I'll tell you what you need to focus on so the abuse stops 3. When did "trying" things turns into a bad course of action? Ever since Star Wars, it seems we've adopted do or do not… but...

Duration: 01:02:55

Escaping the Real World - Kids and the Narcissistic Parent - The Isolation of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

Do you fantasize, daydream, play video games or watch TV in hopes that you won't have to deal with reality? It's not all bad but anything in moderation, right? I talk about the benefits of skipping reality for a little bit as long as you connect with yourself in other ways. For segment two, I go over what you might have to do with your kids when you have a narcissistic ex. During the close, I talk about child sexual abuse and the silent but damaging effects it has on the victim throughout...

Duration: 01:00:06

Losing love and the general lies we tell ourselves

Black or white thinking can lead you to be untrusting of people and the world in general. If you've loved and lost and cannot figure out how to love as deeply as you once did, it could be a general distrust you carry around - seeing people as either safe or not safe. If you cannot be vulnerable, a difficult thing to achieve after pain or betrayal, you may not be able to rebuild the emptiness in your heart. Dichotomous thinking can keep you from unlocking your heart to anyone else. Today's...

Duration: 00:57:34

Freeze instead of fight or flight - Learning what didn't work with the ex - Healing the hole in your heart

Do you freeze when you get stressed? Learn what you can do to stop the freeze before it happens. What didn't work in your last relationship that you can take with you into your next one? These questions will help you become wise for the future. If you suffered a breakup and you feel that emptiness inside, you may have a hole in your heart that needs to be filled. I'll help you start to rebuild what's missing so that you can start to heal your emotional wounds.

Duration: 01:07:28

The abuse victim's perspective - Step-parents and step-children - When honoring yourself leads to loneliness

Why don't abuse victims leave the relationship? In this first segment I talk about the perspective of the abuse victim and no matter how much sense it makes to us for them to leave the abuser, it's an entirely different reality for the victim. In segment two I tackle the dynamics of step-children and how step-parents can enter a family and be more of a friend than a parent to gain trust and respect from the children. During the close I address what happens when you honor yourself. Who you...

Duration: 01:16:24

Keeping Your Relationship from Slipping into Dysfunction

If you've had ups and downs with your relationship and you're ready to keep it on track so it doesn't start slipping back down, I'll tell you ten steps you can take to make sure it stays healthy and continues to blossom.

Duration: 01:08:31

Stonewalling - Expectations of friends - Emotional abuse follows you - Get away to get closer to people

Stonewalling is damaging to a relationship and can make it fail if whatever is shut down is never brought up to be resolved. Do you set expectations in your friendships? Should friendships be an equal, two-way street? It doesn’t have to be - not exactly. Is there a way to get into healthy relationships after being in emotionally abusive ones? Very important question. What's the best way to connect with people? Find fewer and get away from the crowds.

Duration: 01:03:25

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