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The Tipsy Testament

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Location:

United States

Language:

English


Episodes

Ep 25 - Why were there 10 Plagues on Egypt??

12/13/2017
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Have you been waiting with bated breath for more stories about Moses and his weird, magical adventures!? Well, you’re in luck! This is part two where the Tipsy Crew talks about the plagues of Egypt. God was kind of a dick, huh? But, according to Veronica, he wasn’t even a very effective dick cause his plagues apparently sucked. Gasp in awe (and disgust) as Veronica details the horrible, horrible plagues she’d inflict if she were God. Let’s be glad that she doesn’t have divine powers…

Duration: 02:13:02


Ep 24 - Why was Moses raised by the Egyptians?

12/5/2017
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After a long hiatus, we are back with a banger! Moses: the origin story! We also discuss some things our fans have sent in!

Duration: 02:11:21


Ep 23 - Did Jesus always put Parable Mustard on his Sandwiches?

10/16/2017
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In this episode, we continue to discuss Jesus’s parables and discover that Jesus has a mustard fetish. Veronica decides to add more songs to her repertoire to the dismay of the guys.

Duration: 01:01:32


Ep 22 - Why Did Jesus Speak in Parables?

9/29/2017
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Oh yeah, Tipsy Disciples! In this episode, we’re bringing back our boy Jesus or, as the Tipsy crew decides to call him, Daddy Jesus. And don’t worry, the episode only gets sexier from there! We cover a few of Jesus’s very didactic but also sometimes pretty good parables but not before Jonte is forced to watch a trailer to a weird and seemingly blasphemous video game that pits the world’s deities against each other in what looks to be a series of death matches! Also: this is the official...

Duration: 01:26:21


Ep 20 - Joseph and his Obnoxious Gaudy Dreamcoat

8/16/2017
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Have you ever wanted to hear a Bible story about an insufferable snitch wearing a very cool jacket? Well, have we got the story for you! This is part one of Joseph and his coat of many colors/long sleeves/stripes/Member’s Only jacket. We learn that being the favorite son of your father is tough since your brothers will undoubtedly want to kill you! Also: more dreams! This time of the narcissistic variety! We also learn that Alex is an unrepentant Lothario while a particularly wealthy and...

Duration: 02:24:55


Ep 18 - Book of Esther should be called Nasty Vashti, Haman’s vengeance, and the fashion makeover

7/17/2017
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In this episode, the guys try to convince Veronica that the Book of Esther is a feminist story but all Veronica wants to discuss is Alex’s spank bank. Music - Ryan Little

Duration: 01:13:25


Ep 17- Jacob, Rachel, and Melty-Eyes Leah

7/5/2017
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Remember Jacob? Well, we’ve got more of his trickery and exploits on this episode! Listen as Jacob suddenly finds himself in a The Bachelor style situation with two women (who are also his cousins, ewww) competing for his affection. But that’s not all! Jacob winds up with a whole flock of speckled sheep because he’s a no-account grifter and loves taking advantage of folks! Our hero! Don’t worry, he definitely gets his comeuppance by getting wrecked in a wrestling match with an angel, or...

Duration: 01:02:09


Ep 17- Jacob, Rachel, and Melty-Eyes Leah

7/2/2017
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Remember Jacob? Well, we’ve got more of his trickery and exploits on this episode! Listen as Jacob suddenly finds himself in a The Bachelor style situation with two women (who are also his cousins, ewww) competing for his affection. But that’s not all! Jacob winds up with a whole flock of speckled sheep because he’s a no-account grifter and loves taking advantage of folks! Our hero! Don’t worry, he definitely gets his comeuppance by getting wrecked in a wrestling match with an angel, or...

Duration: 02:47:04


Ep 15 - The Misadventures of Jesus: Zombies and Figs

6/9/2017
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You’re in for a treat this episode! We discuss Jesus tormenting his followers with a zombie! Veronica shows her true geek side by ranting about Batman and then falls into a wine coma. Also, Jesus steals a tiny pony!

Duration: 01:08:32


Ep 13 - The imaginary Adventures of Daniel, the Dream Wizard

5/21/2017
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In this episode, we continue following the exploits of our boy Daniel. This time, Daniel spends some quality time with some lions after he gets snitched on by a bunch of jealous haters! We also realize that, maybe, these stories might be a narcissistic embellishment from Daniel himself! Her certainly deems himself important enough to take up a majority of the book of the Bible with his own personal dream journal. Whatever, Daniel! Nobody cares! The Tipsy Crew discusses what our own books...

Duration: 00:44:02


Ep 12 - Daniel, a human furnace, dream wizards, and shadow people

5/15/2017
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On this episode, Veronica is introduced to the character of Daniel and his dope-ass friends. If you ask us, Babylonians are pretty great at naming folks cause Daniel and company end up with some pretty cool monikers! Veronica: Professional Dream Interpreter tries her hand at deciphering the Biblical dreams of King Nebuchadnezzar and then gets us to discuss our own weird dreams. What are these weird shadow people Veronica encountered in her youth, why is Jonte dreaming of giant bags of...

Duration: 00:59:32


Bonus Ep 04 - Wes Craven’s Dracula 2000

5/10/2017
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Join the Tipsy Testament crew as we take a journey back in time and watch Wes Craven’s Dracula 2000! This is a period piece if we’ve ever seen one cause this movie’s got ethnically diverse Matrix knock-offs, some janky wire-work, everyone’s favorite 90’s artist Vitamin C, and nu-metal galore! And don’t worry, if you’re feeling nostalgic for Virgin Megastores then this is the film for you. Listen to Jonté lament ever having to sit and watch this travesty and Veronica reveal her secret love...

Duration: 01:30:21


Ep 11 - Golly Gee! It’s Bloodthirsty David and Fushigi Master Goliath!

5/7/2017
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What do you get when you take a small boy with a leather strap and have him fight a souped-up gladiator who’s tall enough to play as a center in the NBA? Well, you get this story (and probably a healthy dose of childhood trauma)! Join us as we attempt to educate Veronica about David - a small, bloodthirsty boy who thought he was hot shit and his famous dust-up with contact juggling extraordinaire Goliath. Once again, Veronica can’t get enough of talking about harems of women but that’s no...

Duration: 04:08:39


Ep 10 - The Misadventures of Jesus in the Desert

5/1/2017
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Join the Tipsy crew as we continue our New Testament exploration with a few highlights from the adventures of Jesus! Listen in awe as Jesus performs some high-end parlor tricks such as: getting a wedding party hella lit on wine, grifting a giant crowd of strangers by feeding them what most likely was mystery food, and killing a herd of pigs with demon possession! We all got super trashed for this one so we barely remember it! Maybe you can listen and remind us of what went down?

Duration: 02:15:29


Ep 09 - Angsty Teenage Jonah and the (formally known as Whale) Fish

4/23/2017
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In this episode, we cover that classic children’s bible story, Jonah and the Whale! We learn that Jonah might just be an angsty teen who is just trying to get to his Taking Back Sunday concert but God has other plans. We talk about how burlap sacks are the only way to gain favor with God so we plan out our sexy burlap sack designs. Also, Jonte and Alex discover that Veronica is a maritime disaster who REALLY loves Linkin Park. Side note: we apologize for the some of the weird sound levels....

Duration: 00:40:55


Ep 08 - Was Jesus tempted by a harem of women??

4/16/2017
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Episode 08 has arrived! Listen up as we introduce Veronica to our boy, Jesus! We discuss the three temptations of Christ and decide whether or not Satans temptations were ACTUALLY good temptations. Veronica attempts to land a record deal during this episode and Alex enlightens us of his love of chicken pot pie and Rhianna. Jonte discusses his first sexual encounter as we dig deeper into what tempted us as adolescents and young adults! Warning: if you love Quentin Tarantino, Veronica...

Duration: 00:59:35


Bonus Ep 02 - Stephen King’s Children of the Corn (1984)

4/12/2017
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For this bonus episode, we decided to watch Stephen King’s semi-religiousy, 100% nonsensical Children of the Corn from 1984. In this film, kids decide parents just don’t understand, Corn joins the MMA and give a guy the beat-down of his life, and Sarah Connor gives us the worst lap dance of the century. Also, Corn cop steals the show with his tour-de-force performance as Corn cop!

Duration: 02:54:42


Ep 07 - Why is a 37 year old man getting tricked by his father and God??

4/9/2017
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On this episode of The Tipsy Testament, we go a little more in-depth on the adventures of Abraham! God seems to really be into promising people children in exchange for loyalty which seems super shady. Abraham’s wife, Sarah, gets into a feud with her servant, Hagar, over some baby drama and Abraham decides that pretending to be Sarah’s brother is a great form of subterfuge. Have you ever heard of a 37-year-old man being tricked by his own father into being murdered? Well, we’ve got that...

Duration: 01:20:33


Bonus Ep 01 - Darren Aronofsky’s Noah (2014) discussion

3/28/2017
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Join us in this bonus episode as we talk about the inexplicable 2014 Darren Aronofsky anomaly, Noah. If you’re into incredulous emotional and intellectual rollercoasters, this is the episode for you. Why are angels turned into giant, cumbersome rock monsters in this movie!? Beats the hell out of us! We’re too busy trying to figure out where Anthony Hopkins got Gandalf powers and a flaming sword. Also: you ever want here about Noah, obviously your favorite Bible hero, looking SUPER diesel...

Duration: 00:59:20


Ep 05 - Were dinosaurs on the guest list for DJ Noah’s exclusive Club Ark??

3/26/2017
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Join us as we talk about the Bible’s most famous luxury cruise, Noah’s Ark, featuring DJ Noah on the turntables and you know God was making it rain on this party! ALL ABOARD! We handle tough questions like: Why did Noah name his son after a lunch meat? Only two of every kind of animal was allowed, but what if some tried to sneak in? And let’s not forget the first occurrence of the rainbow! We’ll also get a little personal when our former-Christian hosts talk about how they reconciled their...

Duration: 01:31:22

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