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The Unwritable Rant

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Ep 130 - Counterfeit cowboy, relationship double dare, and bowl of carnage

On this episode, Juliette appreciates a man on a horse, uncovers a past romance, dares her guy, gets padded up, meets Moonshine and Namaste, watches a wild jump, visits Chinatown, translates a shrug, passes by happy cats and demands dim sum… all while drinking Stolen Spirits smoked whiskey. Sponsor - Sudio headphones The NEW Unwritable Rant Flask


Ep 129 - Fired from hell, bunny dips, and disrupting a legend

On this episode, Juliette gets unexpected contact, ignores all signs, becomes indentured to Satan, tests her treason skills, does a dip, properly introduces Mongo and The Dish, visits Caesar, smells like a distillery, and disrupts a legend… all while drinking Last Feather Rye whiskey from Journeyman Distillery.


Ep 128 - Plans of deception, an epic adventure, and a sketchy slumber party

On this episode, Juliette channels Ferris Bueller, concocts a poor plan, introduces her friend Texas, gets legally questionable, meets Salamander, rejects sleeping arrangements, walks the length of Milwaukee, engages seduction mode, and enjoys carefree abandon… all while drinking Blanton’s Single Barrel Bourbon.


Ep 127 - A bacon assault, Art Deco graveyard, and hunting a gigolo

On this episode, Juliette combats boredom, gets antagonistic, explores wonder foods, shoos smoke, gets unintentionally physical, calls a bluff, experiences a prom of the living dead, has a birthday re-do, seeks out a gigolo, wanders upstairs, and crawls out of the back of a Studebaker… all while drinking Very Old Barton Bottled in Bond bourbon whiskey.


Ep 126 - A Crazytown vacation, trust circles, and the Collector

On this episode, Juliette hates the cold, makes questionable decisions, heads to Mexico with Crazytown, loses a friend faster than a flip-flop, meets the Collector, mentors a youth program, and hatches a plan of fortune... all while drinking Eagle Rare 10 year bourbon.


Ep 125 - Interview with Bert Kreischer

On this interview episode, Juliette speaks with comedian Bert Kreischer. Through his outstanding storytelling comedy, Bert has earned the distinction of being known as The Machine. He was the host of reality shows Hurt Bert, Bert the Conqueror and Trip Flip and is the author of the book, Life of the Party: Stories of a Perpetual ManChild. Bert opens up about comedy and his writing process, details his new comedy special and a sitcom project, and talks about podcasting, the Bertcast, and...


Ep 124 - Magical hookup, ferret top hats, and drowning in hormones

On this episode, Juliette dishes up a magical tryst, meets Wacky Waldo, visits the Magic Castle, sinks in her seat, conjures a mystery man, considers California clichés, goes on a beach date, follows her loins, and tramples a heart… All while drinking Russell’s Reserve 10 year bourbon.


Ep 123 - Hot Rod Heart, worst gift ever, and the Alpha Dweeb

On this episode, Juliette unleashes her inner wannabe rockstar, treads dangerous territory, confronts a little red light, awakens from drunken hibernation, receives the worst gift ever, visits an escape room, meets an Alpha Dweeb, and deciphers clues… all while drinking F.E.W. bourbon whiskey.


Ep 122 - Trail of misery, claw sharpening, and introducing The Ringleader

On this episode, Juliette forgets her night, goes through a box of bandages, lacks judgment, experiences mach force, mixes lavender and humiliation, dismisses life reunions, reveals her deranged shorthand, falls for The Ringleader, experiences groupie retribution, and is kept waiting… all while discussing Orphan Barrel Gifted Horse bourbon.


Ep 121 - Dry cleaning skank, icy endings, and an undeniable explosion

On this episode, Juliette gets hostile, sniffs out a skank, knows evil, uncovers flirty secrets, underestimates an adversary, slides backward, has a snowy throwdown, hears an angry blast, dials for assistance, utters a panic word, greets a squadron, and gets added to a watch list… All while drinking Barrell Bourbon Batch 014


Ep 120 - Re-killing grandma, worst instrument ever, and a not-quite Christmas angel

On this episode, Juliette recalls holiday traditions, learns a horrific instrument, kills off her grandmother ... again, does the unthinkable, saves up for a holiday treat, unleashes a verbal assault, enters the fray, and meets her sort-of Christmas Angel ... all while barely drinking Mellow Corn whiskey.


Ep 119 - The great bunny escape, fair fights, and next level socialization

On this episode, Juliette gets eye-rolly, takes tips for a spin, pet sits, avoids bunny rabies, explores underbelly secrets, finds a manger, leaves a note, attends a cool kids Christmas party, dresses up, gets comfortable with the cheese, seeks out wallflowers and misses a punchline… All while drinking Redemption Rye whiskey.


Ep 118 - A death plague, failed pee tests, and a Jackass Christmas

On this episode, Juliette survives the plague, visits a strip mall clinic, recalls a failed pee test, meets nurse Ratchet, makes yet more relationship mistakes, fails at Christmas by bringing Jackass home to meet her parents, tries to save the holidays, and puts her foot down the only way she knows how... all while drinking Kelsey Creek bourbon.


Ep 117 - The Funny Comes First special

On this episode, Juliette takes you through her favorite conversations with some of the funniest people on the planet. Guests include Jim Norton, Nick Di Paolo, Ari Shaffir, Anthony Cumia, Rain Pryor, Bob Levy, Bobby Slayton, and Steve McGrew. Juliette dives into the art of comedy and the people who create it... all while drinking Larceny bourbon.


Ep 116 - A reluctant friend, junkie scratching, and hammered resolutions

On this episode, Juliette meets Crabapple, becomes grossly restless, falls into a safety net, fears car explosion, tests friendship limits, dances with the beer tub girl, goes on a hair band renaissance tour, connects with Shapeshifter, has her room violated, is offered cocaine, rages at a desert sky, allows a When Harry Met Sally indulgence, and hammers out a resolution… All while drinking Basil Hayden Dark Rye whiskey.


Ep 115 - The town crank, accidental chaos, and neighbor retaliation

On this episode, Juliette does preemptive damage control, enters the laboratory, explains a weird neon glow, contemplates best brain time, gets interrogated, meets the neighbors, launches a counterattack, calls the band, and revels in the Hokey Pokey… all while drinking Wild Turkey Kentucky Spirit bourbon.


Ep 114 - Possum problems, poisonous dating, and a green-tinted Adonis

On this episode, Juliette recovers from a woodland weekend, feels edgy, hears aggressive scratching, finds a dirty scavenging rodent, witnesses boozy genius, rolls away, manipulates Adonis, makes chicken parm, longs for a plunger, debates poison clean-up and considers a reassuring hug… All while drinking Barrell Bourbon batch 5.


Ep 113 - Cemetery surprises, voodoo rituals, and a Crazytown Halloween adventure

On this episode, Juliette visits St. Louis Cemetery No. 1, finds uncommon energy, leaves something behind, ups her bet, contemplates sexy cards, redefines trick or treating, engages in childish behavior, gets lost with Crazytown and heckles a potential murderer… All while drinking Michter’s single barrel rye whiskey.


Ep 112 - Facing fears, the butterfly effect, and introducing Catnip

On this episode, Juliette identifies her biggest fear, finds a mass of hair, fends off jointed legs, visits a house of winged horrors, introduces Catnip, receives manhandled gifts. avoids grimy fingertips, and blows her nose... all while drinking Rabbit Hole sherry cask bourbon


Ep 111 - Nastygrams, the devil’s china, and Ouija board fears

On this episode, Juliette receives a nastygram, wishes for a plague of frogs, recounts a book tour failure, angers wingnuts, is dismissed by a hobgoblin, feels satisfied, ignores a request, finds a Ouija board, contemplates dead things, fears The Exorcist, and channels white light… all while drinking Noah’s Mill small batch bourbon.


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