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The Upchuck Theater Podcast

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Microwave Massacre - Episode 19

In this episode, our poorly drawn farce is forced to watch an ever poorer drawn farce. Microwave Massacare is truly an awful movie, probably the most inanely made film we’ve watched in our time doing this. With a poor imitation of Rodney Dangerfield at the helm, even strange looking breasts and cannibalism can’t save this nonsense. We debated even airing this episode because we were afraid that our energy was so low it might drag everything down, the pod surprisingly stays pretty active....

Duration: 00:51:12

Vibrations - Episode 18

Episode 18 takes to the awful world of Vibrations - An absolute piece of trash starring James Marshall and Christina Applegate, about a handless doofus who becomes an electronica superstar… right. This one is horrible, and you probably haven’t heard of it. With good reason. If you like this episode give us a uh… HAND. A lot of hands. I don’t really feel like typing much more. I said I wouldn’t like this, but if you’re so inclined, give this goofball a read on uproxx Thanks as always...

Duration: 01:15:08

Aaron and Dustin Take New Orleans off the cuff

In this episode, (around June 1st) Aaron and Dustin recap their not so epic trip to the Big Easy, New Orleans. From cheap sandwiches to ball soup style heat to rain, rain, and more rain to…well. They recap their trip and all the different things that were done, eaten, and more. For Captain George’s swamp tour: Happiness Bayou Tours

Duration: 00:52:17

Red Sonya - Episode 17

It’s been a long long time. Way too long. Deepest apologies to everyone that enjoys what we do here. It’s been a very trying, busy, and difficult few months for everyone involved. From good things like going on vacations and new vehicels to bad things like tons of money and frustration and people with no driving license ruining our vehicles precepiating us needing new vehicles — anyways. We have our 2nd guest on this episode, Jay Zippo, all around good dude, Fallout 4 modder, Let’s Play...

Duration: 01:17:03

Alien Covenant - Theater Nonsense

*******SPOLIERS*******In this off the cuff but feature length episode, Aaron and Rob recount their awful experience at the theater this past weekend seeing Alien: Covenant. They remember what makes the Alien franchise special (that is not in this movie) and so they break down the nonsense plot and the banality of the story. Michael Fassbender puts in another fine performance in a dual role, but his scenes oddly enough are the most drab and boring sequences. The mythos and evolution of the...

Duration: 01:02:24

Upchuck Theater Off the Cuff - IMDb 30 Day Challenge

Greetings Upchuckers! This was posted a little bit late, but in this unofficial episode, Dustin, Aaron & Rob all take a stab at an IMDb Challenge that asked the following questions. Here is the link that will show those questions. Unsurprisingly Aaron is disgusted with a majority of Dustin’s choices and corrects his favorite movie’s release year for him. Although favorite films seem to dominate this list, in typical Upchuck Fashion there are some films that are brought up that even all of...

Duration: 01:39:34

St. Patty’s Day Nonsense x2!

So this is our Saint Patrick’s Day episode…released on Mother’s Day. In May. Almost 2 months to the day later. First and foremost, thank you to all the loving mother’s out there. You have more than just a tough job. Without you, there is no life. Or terrible movies. Secondly, your support is and has always been great. But if you haven’t yet, would you consider giving us a review and a follow if you’ve liked anything about what goes on here? You can do that in the following...

Duration: 00:52:40

Rollerball - Episode 15

In this episode, we watch one of our most divisive episodes yet - the 2002 horro show that is Rollerball. A remake of a 1975 gritty James Caan classic, the new Rollerball is stupid, poorly done, and a Rob favorite. Appealing to Rob’s love of bad schlock, we also see Dustin (in possibly his most annoying turn yet) always willing to be leinent, and Aaron in his usual utter disgust. Rollerball was a flop, and sent its direct John McTiernan to jail. This is the same guy that directed Predator...

Duration: 01:00:05

Aaron off the cuff on his epic 10v10 film loss

See the initial lists here Aaron talks about his epic failure in a 10 v 10 film list on twitter. Paul Mackie orchestrated an epic showdown between 2 people at a time… and boy does Aaron get murdered. Everyone involved thought that it would be closer but Jordan runs away with it. What’s funny about the whole sitaution is how close they really are in some ways, but Jordan loves the sequels and Aaron likes the original films. There may or may not be a mini Dark Knight rant somehwere in...

Duration: 00:38:45

Don’t Hang Up - With Aaron and Dustin Off the Cuff

With Rob on the sidelines recovering from a nasty cold and Aaron only able to tolerate Dustin for a short amount of time given the scope of his lies as exposed in the latest uploads, the duo tackles an utter pile of vomit in Don’t Hang Up. When 2 dude bros act like total jackholes and then pay for it by a ninja bent on revenge, you get a pile of garbage crammed into 90 minutes with a few good camera angles and a few ha ha moments. This one really sucked. Come hate it with us!

Duration: 00:35:54

Reindeer Games - Episode 10

Our last episodic session of Season 1 sees us with our first guest, Aaron’s childhood friend Eric. He brings with him a doozy in Reindeer Games, a truly awful Ben Affleck vehicle that was the last film of John Franknheimer’s directorial career - then he died. Also with repeat offender Charlize Theron (though she’s actually not awful here) and Gary Sinese slumming with wampum safes and convicted felon Dana Stubblefield. This one is awful, but we’re proud of it. As always please review,...

Duration: 01:00:17

Ghosts of Mars - Episode 9

Our 9th official episode features the absoulte nonsense that is John Caprenter’s Ghosts of Mars. This one is especially painful given all three of us are massive Carpenter fans be it Assault on Precinct 13, The Thing, Escape from New York, They Live, and more. This one made Carpenter shun making a large film for a decade and with good reason…it’s awful. There’s nothing witty we can even say about it. As always thanks for listening and please share, subscribe, and give us some feedback!

Duration: 01:08:44

Bus Driver - Episode 8

On this official 8th installment… His job was to drive them. His mission is to save them. We bring you the most current film we’ve reviewed so far, Bus Driver (2016). When a ragtag bunch of misfit teenagers and their ridiculous track suited chaperone get in with the God Damned Bus Driver and things go sour, he’s the only one to bring them home safely. Meth, flashbacks, shift sticks, and gun fu all play a part. You’ll be a little surprised through this one. Let us know what you think! As...

Duration: 00:52:32

Aaron off the cuff review of 4 films from 2001 and back.

Aaron on The Duelists, American Gigolo, Bully, and Perfect Blue. Ridley Scott, Paul Schrader, and Larry Clark. Thanks as always for listening and please subscribe and share!

Duration: 00:22:04

Eye for an Eye Episode 7

Our 7th episode sees us viewing the 1996 thirller Eye for an Eye starring Sally Fields, Keifer Sutherland, and Ed Harris. With the emotional nonsense of a Limetime movie, it’s the story of one of the coldest most awful mothers in movie history deciding she wants revenge on the killer of her daughter in Los Angeles. The credits include a group of people known as ‘Parents of Dead Children’ amongst other wonders of modern movie cinema. In a pre 24 film, thermal wearing Keifer plays Robert...

Duration: 01:04:11

Dec 26, 2016 Aaron off the cuff with his weekend viewings.

Weekend vegetation lends for some brief musings on Hitchcock, Yul Brenner, David Lynch, and more. Hope everyone had a great holidaynin whatever form you choose.

Duration: 00:14:59

Alone in the Dark Episode 6

This episode (recorded around Halloween) is a hands down universal non-accliamed episode. Sure to be a fan favorite, we review the thing that happened that is the film Alone in the Dark. We tie into Street Fighter a lot, as well as hear some words of wisdom from the man himself Uwe Boll. Christian Slater becomes our first repeat guest on the pod and we really have some fun with this one. This is a truly awful movie. No really this one is bad. Based on the groundbreaking game series that...

Duration: 00:56:08

Oct 29, 2016 Aaron & Dustin on the Road. The Neon Demon and Lights Out.

On their way back from Cleveland, Aaron and Dustin riff in the car on The Neon Demon and Lights Out in the first Vomit off the Cuff mobile edition.

Duration: 00:45:02

Upchuck 2 - Broken Arrow

Episode 2 brings us to the epic disaster that is Broken Arrow. Loud, stupid, and just poorly done, we felt sympathy for John Woo trying to bring his special breed of cinema to an American cast. The results? Disastrous. We had gone down a long list of possible candidates for this one, but in keeping true to what we want to try and do as our main theme, we kept rejecting ideas based on if someone else had done it that we knew of, or something that was just a little too obscure. We want to...

Duration: 01:11:49