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We Hate Movies

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We Hate Movies is your go-to podcast for in-depth, intelligent, articulate musings on the best of classic cinema. [Note to the listener: there is a 99.9% chance that the intelligent discussion will be interrupted by a bunch of drunks ragging on movies.]




Episode 317 - If Looks Could Kill

On this week's episode, the guys go back to school with the spectacularly ridiculous, high school spy comedy, If Looks Could Kill! Why doesn't Richard Grieco just sit these people down and explain the situation calmly? How often were they waxing his eyebrows on set? And how much of this film was stolen by later Bond films—or was it the other way around? PLUS: A big bit of information about our L.A. Podfest appearance! If Looks Could Kill stars Richard Grieco, Roger Rees, Linda Hunt, Robin...

Duration: 01:29:57

WHM Mail Bag - Alt-Right Blind Dates, Grade School Toy Theft, and Puking at the Movies

On the first WHM Mail Bag of season 8, the guys read letters from listeners about accidentally going on a blind date with a racist, sleazy creeps in grade school stealing toys from their friends, throwing up while watching Fellowship of the Ring, and more! If YOU want YOUR weird stories read on the air, or if you have questions for the gang, write into the mail bag—weallhatemovies@gmail.com!

Duration: 00:58:07

Episode 316 - It (1990)

On the SEASON EIGHT premiere of WHM, the guys return just in time to have some fun with the cult classic TV gem, It! Why did they make this movie for ABC and not for the theaters? Did the It monster kill off the dinosaurs? And what is with that ponytail?! PLUS: Harry Anderson and Richard Dean Anderson get mixed up... a lot. It stars Tim Curry, Harry Anderson, Dennis Christopher, Richard Masur, Annette O'Toole, Tim Reid, John Ritter, Jonathan Brandis, Seth Green, and Richard Thomas;;...

Duration: 01:41:34

Episode 315 - Mac and Me

Recorded live at the Bell House in Brooklyn, NY — 8/05/17 On this week's episode, the guys finally get around to trashing the feature-length McDonald's commercial, Mac and Me! How is it these alien puppets' mouths were shaped so it was impossible for them to eat McDonald's products? Why didn't that mother tell those kids about the cliff? And you can NOT just jump to a citizenship scene like that! PLUS: Lots of talk about UFOs and aliens "coring out" livestock! Mac and Me stars Christine...

Duration: 01:23:41

WHM On-Screen: Game of Thrones Season 7

On this special WHM On-Screen, the guys gather 'round to chat about the seventh—and shortest!—season of HBO's Game of Thrones! What's with all the wonky and wacky geography that's going on in this season? Does the shortened season hurt the show or help it? And was Maisie Williams taking notes from Anthony Hopkins? PLUS: Game of Thrones and Married with Children aren't as different as you may think!

Duration: 01:03:12

WHM Summer Rewind - One Magic Christmas

On the final Summer Rewind of the year, the gang reminisces about their favorite holiday special, the episode on One Magic Christmas! How in the world did something so depressing qualify as a Christmas film? Who thought casting the legendary Harry Dean Stanton as an angel was a good idea—give that person a raise! And did that dude really say "Doritachips"? PLUS: Santa the evil necromancer! One Magic Christmas stars Mary Steenburgen, Harry Dean Stanton, Elias Koteas, and Sarah Polley;...

Duration: 01:11:45

Episode 314 - Over the Top: Live! in Portland

Recorded live, Saturday, June 24th, 2017 On this week's episode, it's the second recording of two sold-out shows the guys played in Portland, Oregon earlier this summer. Fresh from an awesome not-for-profit bar in town, the guys lovingly ripped apart the beloved Stallone classic, Over the Top! Why doesn't the movie tell you the reason Stallone is estranged? Did Lincoln Hawk really have to deliver all that Brute? And how could that kid crawl under those disgusting bleachers? PLUS: The...

Duration: 01:20:34

WHM Summer Rewind - Star Trek: Insurrection

On this week's Summer Rewind, the guys revisit the first time they made fun of a Star Trek movie: Star Trek: Insurrection! Why does F. Murray Abraham look like a testicle face? Did we really need this Data bubble butt? And why did Data need to bond with this little kid? PLUS: Quark's adventures in Space Thailand. Star Trek: Insurrection stars Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, LeVar Burton, Michael Dorn, Gates McFadden, Marina Sirtis, F. Murray Abraham; directed by Jonathan...

Duration: 01:25:12

Episode 313 - Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer: Live! at Mississippi Studios

Recorded live, Saturday, June 24th, 2017 On this week's episode, the guys are live from Mississippi Studios in the gorgeous city of Portland! Taking a break from the beautiful world of recreational dispensaries, the fellas try to get to the bottom of: Why wasn't Paul Giamatti cast as Galactus? Why did they bother jamming Doctor Doom in this sequel? And would the Thing really be able to fly on a commercial airplane? PLUS: Remember on Friends when Ross had to murder his own...

Duration: 01:14:34

WHM Summer Rewind - Freejack

On this week's Summer Rewind, the gang looks back at their episode on the sci-fi classic, Freejack! Why wouldn't they set this film a little farther in the future than 2009? Who thought about hiring Mick Jagger as the main villain? And how many movies does Emilio star in where he's constantly sitting in various automobiles? PLUS: The birth of our terrible Jonathan Banks impression! Freejack stars Emilio Estevez, Mick Jagger, Rene Russo, Anthony Hopkins, David Johansen, and Jonathan Banks;...

Duration: 01:29:39

WHM On-Screen: Spider-Man: Homecoming

On this WHM On-Screen, the gang chats about the audience favorite, Spider-Man: Homecoming! An above average entry in the MCU, the film has everything: low stakes, working class criminals; a worthwhile, entertaining supporting buddy for Peter Parker; just the right amount of RDJ presence; and not a single mention of Uncle Ben! PLUS: No gross web orifices! Spider-Man: Homecoming stars Tom Holland, Michael Keaton, Robert Downey Jr., Marisa Tomei, Jon Favreau, Jacob Batalon, Zendaya, Donald...

Duration: 00:49:57

WHM Summer Rewind - Batman Forever

On this week's Summer Rewind, the gang revisit an old favorite, episode 102 on Batman Forever! Why do we get Two Face's origin in two seconds, but the Riddler's gets 45 minutes of screen time? Why couldn't we get more with Robin's carny family? And could Pat Hingle have played a more buffoonish Commissioner Gordon? PLUS: One of the earliest instances of the "Ma, get in here" kid! Batman Forever stars Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Chris O'Donnell, Michael Gough,...

Duration: 01:40:34

Episode 312 - Spider-Man 3

On this week's episode, the seventh season of We Hate Movies wraps up with a lengthy discussion of the total misfire that is Spider-Man 3! Why try and jam in three villains when the first two films only had one a piece? Why does Peter Parker continue to be such an absolute LOSER? And why does Thomas Haden Church only say variations on three different sentences? PLUS: Jeremy Renner and Mickey Mouse present together at the Academy Awards! Spider-Man 3 stars Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst,...

Duration: 02:00:41

WHM Mail Bag - Dating Transformers Fanatics, Bad Hangover Films, and Ruining Your Parents' Social Status by Listening to WHM

On the final WHM Mail Bag of the season, the gang reads some letters about dating obnoxious Transformers fans, using the wrong film for a Hangover Movie, fathers mistakenly thinking their kids are perverts at the movies, getting grounded for listening to WHM, and weirdos pleasuring themselves in South Carolina second-run theaters! PLUS: Edward Snowden fights the good fight against obscene video store late fees! The Mail Bag is taking the rest of the summer off, so for September, we want...

Duration: 00:46:02

Episode 311 - Air Force One

On the penultimate episode of the season, the guys talk about the over-the-top, total recommend of an action film, Air Force One! How in the world did the Secret Service botch this trip so badly? Does this movie start inside a fake action film? And how many CGI extras are flying out of this plane? PLUS: Slick Willy smokes a doob in the Air Force One escape pod! Air Force One stars Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Glenn Close, Wendy Crewson, William H. Macy, and Dean Stockwell; directed by...

Duration: 01:31:11

Episode 310 - Transformers: The Last Knight

On this week's episode, the gang concludes the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza's Transformers-a-thon by tackling the recently released sequel, Transformers: The Last Knight! How on earth are there baby dinosaur robots? Why bother including Turturro so briefly in Cuba? And are we serious with this Tucci-as-Merlin business?!? PLUS: So the Transformers assisted in the Underground Railroad, huh? PLUS PLUS: Wait, seriously, what was with Merlin? Transformers: The Last Knight stars Mark...

Duration: 01:56:06

Episode 309 - Encino Man

On this week's episode, the gang takes a break from the Transformers-a-thon to dive head-first into Sean Astin's Homemade Pool: The Movie a.k.a. Encino Man! How did the screenwriters not know how ice works? Is Pauly Shore's character the smartest one in the film? And who builds their own goddamn pool by hand?!? PLUS: We rank all the Weasel's films whilst simultaneously munching down on some grindage and weasing the juice! Encino Man stars Pauly Shore, Sean Astin, Brendan Fraser, Megan...

Duration: 01:35:16

WHM Mail Bag - Broken Remotes, Soviet Cinema(s), Gross Rags, and Creepy Dude Teachers

On this month's WHM Mail Bag, the guys once again welcome Hooked on T.J. Hooker's Ben Worcester to read letters covering such family-friendly topics as insane dads with remote control control issues, friends wasting time in an ex-soviet movie theater, a creepy-as-hell male teacher terrorizing an all-girl private school, and one dude who needs to clean his car out way more often. PLUS: Eric gets denied a "Jay Walking" appearance! If you want your weird stories read on the air, or if you...

Duration: 00:52:42

Episode 308 - Transformers: Age of Extinction

On this week's episode, the gang welcomes Hooked On T.J. Hooker's Ben Worcester into the studio to help tackle the ridiculously long and ridiculously dumb, Transformers: Age of Extinction! Why waste the best part of your movie by killing off T.J. Miller? Why did they make Mark Wahlberg's character from Texas? And who was asking for these Dinobots? PLUS: Mark Wahlberg is a massive Cheers fan. Transformers: Age of Extinction stars Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Nicola Peltz,...

Duration: 01:49:52

Episode 307 - Friday the 13th VII: The New Blood: Live in Atlanta: Mozzarella Sticks

On this week's special bonus show, it's "Friday the 13th VII: The New Blood" live from Atlanta! Recorded at the Punchline in April of 2017, listen as the gang braves the waves of enticing mozzarella stick odor to talk about the seventh film in the slasher series! Why does Jason have to look like a lizard person in this? Is Terry Kiser sleeping with that disturbed girl's mother? And how did they not bother to recover that dead dad's body? PLUS: Being a professional gator wrangler in...

Duration: 01:20:05

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