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What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't

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Pornography Addiction, Why it Should Worry You in Relationships

Pornography Addiction has become a problem for many couples. It sets up unrealistic expectations that real life can't compete with. Porn addiction often becomes a powerful problem because it's easier than dealing with the messiness of human beings. Our brains love the pursuit of novelty which is available so immediately on the internet.

Duration: 00:24:16

Connection & Disconnection, Learn How it Works

In relationships we take the easy way out a lot. We lie & tell people what they want to hear instead of truth. We silently stash resentments & get divorced. We decide sex is a chore we don’t want to be bothered with. We dump our insecurities on each other to fix instead of fixing them ourselves. We let our anxieties run rampant & spill all over our partners instead of trying to learn how to self soothe. We tolerate disrespect & sometimes contempt instead of asking our partner to course...

Duration: 00:13:31

Relationships with Personality Disorders

Personality Disorders are difficult in relationships because they have massive power through manipulation. So if you are in a relationship with a personality disorder, You must figure out how you give up your own power. You must learn how you participate in the dysfunction. It doesn't happen alone, it happens with you.

Duration: 00:12:37

Boring Relationship? How to get Out of the Rut

Boring relationships sneak upon us. It’s easy to make excuses, we’re too tired after work or busy with the kids. Relationships require work to keep them fresh. You have to be committed to trying new things out. The opposite of boring is being creative.The brain loves novelty so it’s really important to explore & experience something new.

Duration: 00:12:46

Trust Demands a Softening in Attitude

Trust means we give up our inclination to exaggerate our wounds out of self interest. We can be very self righteous which creates a distorted picture of what happened. We harden ourselves & adore our own expectations of how things should be in a relationship. The opposite of all this disconnecting energy is to soften and imagine the value of your partner's point of view.

Duration: 00:13:46

Relationships Demand Personal Responsibility

Interview with Marcia Turbiner Ph.D who describes the need to have a relationship with yourself in order to make relationships work. She offers a way to think about what is NOT ME and what is ME. You have to begin to understand how to take care of yourself to develop a solid sense of self. When you see yourself as an individual you will see the other more clearly.

Duration: 00:30:42

15 Ways to Encourage Relationship Survival

Learn how to think about your relationship in 3 parts, why blame is immature and why being a separate individual keeps a partnership more solid. Consider how sacrifice, respect, going to bed angry and not playing games is crucial for relationship longevity.

Duration: 00:15:28

Contempt Takes 2 in Relationships

Too many people live with contempt in their relationships. Contempt is a power play that leads to loneliness. When ugliness layers & layers over time it becomes ordinary. When contempt is an ordinary activity instead of an unusual one, that’s a BIG problem. Contempt is a tango for two.

Duration: 00:11:32

People-pleasing is a Danger in Relationships

If you are too lopsided in people-pleasing it will lead you to erase too much of who you are and what you want, this will begin the silent path of stock piling resentments. It's important to the health of the relationship to tell the truth to each other.

Duration: 00:13:29

What Destroys Contentment in Relationships?

Relationships all begin with fantasy & illusions. We have absolutely no idea who somebody else really is but we make it up because we are in love. Fantasy is a flimsy beginning & contentment can be hard to achieve.

Duration: 00:13:38

Anger Management to GROW Relationships

Anger soaked in alcohol or contempt can easily destroy relationships. Anger management is a tough skill to learn instead of the ease of blame. Learn here how to interrupt anger to have a healthy relationship.

Duration: 00:13:24

Relationships, Keeping it Real with Rhoda

Relationships require a lot of growing up, a lot of facing your own dark side. Facing hard realities helps relationships. I believe real love is about deciding to do the work of being a better person, to risk change. It is not possible to grow & be comfortable at the same time. If you embrace change you have to be willing to be uncomfortable.

Duration: 00:16:20

What is the Biggest Obstacle to Relationship Success?

0000007F 0000007E 00001AEB 00001B10 000011A7 000011A7 00007DAE 00007E62 00003697 00003697 Everyone arrives at couples therapy talking about Communication Problems?? What lies beneath communication problems in relationships? Listen here to learn more.

Dating Advice: What Everybody Needs to Know

Dating is often painful because the person who loves the least has the most power. Are you overly generous? Listen to learn about relationships that are too lopsided.

How to Be a TEAM in a Relationship

Couples have to evolve over time. Evolving as a Team means that the two of you together solve the puzzle of your strengths & weaknesses & how they can work together. Of all the Couples you know, how many are actually a team?

Duration: 00:13:10

Relationships are a Dance in the Messiness of Life

What can help with the annoyances over differences when love & idealization wear off? You have to learn to respect the differences which is work, instead of pretending things aren’t that bad. Read more at: therapy ideas.net

Duration: 00:10:19

O.J & Drama in Relationships

Drama is about manipulation. Manipulation is about winning, not truth. The brilliance of O.J’s lawyers was all about flipping him from the persecutor into the blameless victim & asking the jury to rescue him which is illustrated in the fine FX show.

Duration: 00:09:25

Relationships Require Vulnerability

Manipulation is the core of the Drama Triangle. This game creates confusion & upset, not solutions or a path to truth. Denial is a huge part in the role of Rescuer.Drama is all about power & winning.

Duration: 00:09:41

Relationships Require We Recongnize Our Own Dark Side

If you recognize your own dark side you will be a better candidate for love & relationships. It’s important to recognize our part in problems instead of taking comfort in blame.

Duration: 00:08:49

We All Want a Relationship with a Clone

Deep down we all want people to be like ourselves, then it would be oh, so much easier. Love can easily disintegrate into this unspoken demand that you should be more like me.

Duration: 00:07:33

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