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Join Ben Van der Velde, Barry McStay and their guests as they brandish their wooden spoons of destiny and celebrate the losers, heroic failures and spectacular mis-steps that pockmark human endeavour. If you ever want to feel better about your progress in life, take a listen and enjoy a lovely schadenfreude bubble bath. Music by Max Perryment (www.maxperryment.co.uk)

Join Ben Van der Velde, Barry McStay and their guests as they brandish their wooden spoons of destiny and celebrate the losers, heroic failures and spectacular mis-steps that pockmark human endeavour. If you ever want to feel better about your progress in life, take a listen and enjoy a lovely schadenfreude bubble bath. Music by Max Perryment (www.maxperryment.co.uk)
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Join Ben Van der Velde, Barry McStay and their guests as they brandish their wooden spoons of destiny and celebrate the losers, heroic failures and spectacular mis-steps that pockmark human endeavour. If you ever want to feel better about your progress in life, take a listen and enjoy a lovely schadenfreude bubble bath. Music by Max Perryment (www.maxperryment.co.uk)








Ep 62: Tez Ilyas - World's Worst Centre Back

It's back to one of our favourite Sunday afternoon pub conversations this week as we go searching for more terrible footballers for our all-time worst XI. This week, we fill the centre-back spot and there are a rogues gallery of misfits, cheats and actual criminals all jostling, badly, for the spot. Our guest is football fan, Blackburn Rovers fanatic and tremendous stand-up comic Tez Ilyas. We discover the story of the farcical Combination League - a precursor to the Football League in the...


Ep 61: Stevyn Colgan - World's Worst Policeman

Hullo hullo hullo...what have we got here then? Why officer, it's an episode all about the worst coppers of all time. We invited on QI elf, novelist, lateral thinker and ex-policeman with over 30 years service Stevyn Colgan to join us in settling the subject. As you'd expect, there's plenty of disreputable plods and dastardly inside jobs including brothels, speed cameras, three-card tricks, cross-dressing, lollipops and a very enthusiastic revolutionary. Have a listen and we're sure you'll...


Ep 60: Spring Day - World's Worst Family Tradition

We’ve a spring in our steps and a Spring in the studio this week as Brooklyn’s sharpest wit Spring Day is with us to talk about the World’s Worst Family Traditions. We mine the murky world of Reddit and our very own listeners for pranks and Stacks, we shove vicious insects into various items of clothing and we put so many babies in peril. So many babies… Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot @bazmcstay @benvandervelde @springdaycomedy @podnose Worst Foot Forward is part of Podnose: www.podnose.com


Ep 59: Helen Arney - World's Worst Element

It's time to gt out our Bunsen Burners and boil everything down to its most basic constituent parts: if we can work out what the worst element in the world is, perhaps we can uncover the secrets behind all heroic failure? Joining us this week is breathtakingly smart and multi-talented chanteuse of the science world Helen Arney. Part of the Festival of the Spoken Nerd, Helen has appeared on TV and Radio as both a science communicator, madcap experimenter and dab hand with the ukulele....


Ep 58: Felix Trench - World's Worst Day

It’s a beautiful day! Our guest this week is the actor Felix Trench, star of the podcast sitcom ‘Wooden Overcoats’ (http://www.woodenovercoats.com) and history graduate who thumbs through the Worst Foot Chronicles to look for the World’s Worst Day. There are quite a few to choose from… Felix gives us a worldwide tour of the year 1556, Ben harks back to the day the 20th Century began and Barry does a double-take as he discovers his calendar has a February the 30th. Follow us on Twitter:...


Ep 57: Matt Stellingwerf - World's Worst Punishment

We're joined this week by award-winning Kiwi comic and former criminologist Matt Stellingwerf to cover a seriously grisly topic: the world's worst punishment. This episode comes with a serious content warning as we delve into the depths of human behaviour to discuss capital punishments with the sort of inventiveness normally reserved for Wallace and Gromit. Our search takes us from medieval Spain to Enlightenment Sweden, with nods to Greek myths, Greek history and depressing American...


Episode 56b: The World's Worst 'Best Of 2017' Episode

This week on Worst Foot Forward we are celebrating joining Podnose, the UK’s leading independent entertainment podcasting network. To mark this, we’re looking back over our first year (and a bit) of trivial silliness and awful achievements. We’ve picked out some of our favourite facts and fripperies from episodes 1 to 53, featuring some of our very best guests and very worst worsts, including understudy dogs, delicious seagull wine, Sexy Pac-Man and #goatballs. If you’re a longtime...


Ep 56: Laura Lexx - World's Worst Tea

Anyone for tea? Following on from speaking to the quintessential British rapper last week we cover the most classic of all British topics this week: tea. Joined by award-winning comedian and host of the CineMastermind podcast Laura Lexx we settle a debate that goes all the way back to the very firstvcuppa that was stewed a little too long and severely displeased a Chinese emperor. As well as getting very annoyed at Fortnum and Mason for the most expensively pretentious teabag on the planet...


Ep 55: Professor Elemental - World's Worst Hip-Hop Album

Pull up a turntable and join us as we cut through the hardy thickets of undergrowth that make up the choices of the world's worst hip-hop album. Joined by the indomitable Professor Elemental - the finest exponent of chap-hop and owner of the world's only monkey butler - we listen to music so asinine, offensive, badly produced and inappropriate that it should be banned by the Geneva Convention. All so you don't have to. On the way we discover the tragi-comic tale of Vanilla Ice, the...


Ep 54: Will Seaward - World's Worst Pirate

Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of Cointreau, it’s time for these salty seadogs to tell ye a tale! Gather ye round as Cap’n Will Seaward, comedian and storyteller of yore, is piped aboard the good ship Worst Foot Forward by Cabin Boy Van der Velde and Able Seaman McStay. Avast and away, they set sail in search of treasure, namely the World’s Worst Pirates. But beware! For there be many dragons along the way, including a pirate monk, a man who it is said ate his enemies hearts and even the man who is...


Ep 53 Andrew Doyle - World's Worst Sequel

This week's episode sees us paint with broad brushstrokes as we discuss the world's worst sequel, along with our guest - comedian, writer and Jonathan Pie co-creator - Andrew Doyle. If you've ever loved something and been crushingly disappointed by the follow-up (parents with two offspring will know that feeling) you'll love this episode. We discuss every possible type of sequel: from books to films to popes to wars, political parties, musicals and more. Follow us on Twitter: @worstfoot...


Ep 52: Iszi Lawrence - World's Worst Poet

Merry new year to one and all! For our first episode of 2018 we've donned berets, waxed our beards and grabbed the nearest set of tom-toms to share stories of the worst poets in history. Naturally, the king of bad poetry William McGonnagal is heavily featured, but we also meet a the Canadian William Nathan Stedman who was quite unreasonably obsessed with cheese and Theophilus Martials, a man who heard about onomatopoeia once and clearly thought it was the only thing that ever mattered in...


Ep 51: Allan Scott Douglas - World's Worst Santa

Ho ho ho - but enough naming our garden implements, it’s time for the Worst Foot Forward Christmas Special! Santa himself joins us on the show - or at least, his official body-double does. Yes, actor and professional Father Christmas Allan Scott-Douglas is our guest to tell us wintry tales of the World’s Worst Santa. Allan relates some true tales from backstage at the grotto, Barry takes us through the history of the real Saint Nick and his various hideous European mutations, and Ben...


Ep 50: Sam Lebens - World's Worst Messiah

It's our fiftieth episode, our golden anniversary and to celebrate, Ben and Barry have got a real rabbi to bless their union. Sam Lebens joins the boys to pray for the coming of the World's Worst Messiah. Barry puts his Jesuit education to good use with stories of Micronesian 'cargo cults', Ben gets down and dirty amidst some Reformation orgies and Sam brings an academic eye to the question 'what makes a good Messiah anyway?'. Tune in for fake Moseses, cannonball catching and...


Ep 49: Thom Tuck - World's Worst Greatest Hits Album

Ep 49: Thom Tuck - World's Worst Greatest Hits Album by Hosted by Ben Van der Velde and Barry McStay


Ep 48: Masud Milas - World's Worst Blaxploitation Movie

Ep 48: Masud Milas - World's Worst Blaxploitation Movie by Hosted by Ben Van der Velde and Barry McStay


Ep 47: Samantha Baines - World's Worst Space Invention

3 - 2 - 1 - LIFT OFF! Whoops, the rocket fell over. Yes, having previously discussed astronauts, we're blasting off to space again in search of the World's Worst Space Invention. Award-winning comedian and actress Samantha Baines (The Crown, Call The Midwife) joins us to share her love of Cox and her insights into sex in space. Meanwhile, Ben pops the hood and looks at the inner workings of the Death Star and Barry talks about THAT pencil story and the terrifying experience of living on...


Ep 46: Richard Maxted - World's Worst Cocktail

Ben and Barry are often likened to cocktails - one is a high-baller with a twist and the other is a fruity virgin. So it was only natural that they would seek out the very worst of that particular type of tipple, with a little help from Richard Maxted, mixologist and proprietor of bespoke cocktail purveyors Mix & Muddle. We ask the question 'Who is Tom Collins?', learn the dirty secrets of the dirty martini and marvel at humankind's ingenuity for drinking literally ANYTHING when push comes...


Ep 45: Ethan Lawrence - World's Worst Monarch

This is one of those episodes we've been looking forward to since the beginning of the podcast. Alongside actor, fellow history nerd and WFF fan Ethan Lawrence we go on a merry journey from China to Egypt, 13th century Bulgaria to 18th century France and finally to frontiersville San Francisco in front of the maddest, baddest, stupidest and occasionally most haplessly charming monarchs. Contained within are stories of men sown into bearskins and chased by wolves, cabbage kings, cannons...


Ep 44: Ria Lina - World's Worst Legal Defence

Order in court for this week's episode as we tackle the thorny issues of terrible legal defences. With us is one of our most qualified and talented guests - an expert in forensics, criminology and how to get away with anything, plus a mean performer on the stand-up and cabaret circuit: it's Ria Lina. With Ria's assistance Ben and Barry work out the best way to murder each other and then head onwards to the gnarly thickets of ridiculous legal behaviour. This mega-episode covers a huge...


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