A Jaded Gay

In previous episodes, we explored how LGBTQ+ media representation has evolved significantly since the early days of cinema, shifting from largely negative stereotypes and hidden identities to more nuanced and diverse portrayals of queer experiences. Despite this progress, there still seems to be a lack of LGBTQ+ voices and perspectives behind the cameras, ensuring that characters are authentically represented. In this episode, AJ Mattioli, a trans producer, director, and owner of Mattioli Productions, joins us to explore the critical need for authentic representation both on-screen and behind the scenes, the distinctive challenges encountered by trans-owned film production companies, and how we, as members of the LGBTQ+ community, can actively support and uplift queer filmmakers. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 07. The History of Gay Representation in TV & FilmListen to Episode 55. Gay for Pay: Should Straight Actors Play Queer Characters?Listen to Episode 97. Diversifying Queer Horror Cinema (with Jose Nateras)Listen to Episode 98. Dear Netflix: Stop Cancelling Our Queer Shows Additional Resources: Learn More About Mattioli ProductionsFollow Mattioli Productions on InstagramFollow Mattioli Productions on YouTubeCheck Out Mattioli Productions’ Latest TrailersBrowse Mattioli Productions’ FilmsSupport the show Get Your Merch

LGBTQ+ individuals often navigate the diverse landscape of the queer community to forge connections that resonate with their identities, seeking spaces where they feel seen, understood, and supported. The bear community, with its celebration of body positivity and inclusivity, provides a unique subculture within the larger LGBTQ+ spectrum, fostering a strong sense of belonging and community engagement. In this episode, Mark Singer, founder of Chumley’s BearCruises, joins us to discuss his experiences within the bear community, detailing how it inspired him to create Chumley's BearCruises and how these cruises foster a strong sense of belonging and connection among bears. Additional Resources: Learn More About Chumley’s BearCruisesFollow Chumley’s BearCruises on InstagramSubscribe to Chumley’s BearCruises on YouTubeConnect with Chumley’s BearCruises on FacebookRooted Resilience Rooted Resilience: Intersectional Narratives of 2SLGBTQIA+ Creatives in MA Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show Get Your Merch

In a time when relationships are no longer confined to traditional labels, ethical non-monogamy allows gay individuals to build connections that align with their unique desires and values. By fostering open communication, trust, and mutual consent, non-monogamous relationships can provide fulfilling connections that honor the evolving dynamics of love and partnership. In this episode, Jeff Hudson joins us to share his personal journey with ethical non-monogamy, discussing the challenges and misconceptions surrounding non-traditional relationships and how his experience reshaped his views on love and commitment. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 54. Love in the Third Degree (with Eric Praniewicz) Additional Resources: Read Exploring Polyamory Among Gay Men: Redefining Love, Connection, and AuthenticityFollow Jeff on InstagramRead Deconstructing Us: My Trouble with a ThroupleEthical Non-Monogamy: Basics & Rules for ENM RelationshipsRooted Resilience Rooted Resilience: Intersectional Narratives of 2SLGBTQIA+ Creatives in MA Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show Get Your Merch

In previous episodes, we've explored the key themes of gay villages and how destinations like Fire Island and Provincetown serve as sanctuaries for the queer community. Gay men, in particular, are often passionate about travel because it provides a sense of freedom, adventure, and the chance to engage with diverse cultures, communities, and experiences that affirm their identities. In this episode, Jason Heidemann, a Los Angeles-based LGBTQ+ travel writer, to discuss the significance of gaycations, share safety tips for LGBTQ+ travelers, and explore how to travel the world on a budget. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 24. Gay Villages: Won't You Be My Gaybor?Listen to Episode 65. Fire IslandListen to 114. Provincetown Additional Resources: Check Out Jason's WorkTune in to Best Gaycation Ever! PodcastFollow Jason on InstagramFollow Jason on BlueskyRead The Great Gay American Road TripRead 8 Must-Do Experiences in NevadaRead The 8 Best LGBTQ+ & Gay Cruises for 2025Rooted Resilience Rooted Resilience: Intersectional Narratives of 2SLGBTQIA+ Creatives in MA Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show Get Your Merch

Throughout many episodes, we’ve discussed how gay men continue to grapple with the shame they internalized as children growing up in a predominantly straight society that often invalidated or condemned their identities. This lingering shame can evolve into deep-rooted trauma, affecting their self-worth, relationships, and overall mental well-being. In this episode, we're exploring the theme of gay identity development from Dr. Alan Downs’ groundbreaking book, The Velvet Rage, and unpacking his three-stage framework for emotional well-being to live more fulfilling lives as proud gay men. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 01. Hello, Trauma. It's Me, Rob.Listen to Episode 13. Perfectly Imperfect: Conquer Your PerfectionismListen to Episode 15. Understanding Attachment StylesListen to Episode 42. Are You Emotionally Unavailable?Listen to Episode 47. Say Goodbye to Abandonment IssuesListen to Episode 86. Turn Off Your Code-Switching Additional Resources: Read The Velvet RageAuthenticity Unmasked: Navigating Mental Health for Gay MenUnderstanding and Addressing Emotional Unavailability in Gay Men: Causes, Signs, and SolutionsPerfectly Imperfect: Understanding Perfectionism and Its Impact on Gay MenNavigating Love with Attachment Styles: Building Healthier Relationships for Gay MenUnderstanding Abandonment Issues in Gay Men: Navigating Fear of Rejection and Building Healthy RelationshipsSupport the show Get Your Merch

In past episodes, we've explored pivotal moments in LGBTQ+ history that have often been overlooked or erased, highlighting why remembering our past is so vital. With the current administration actively trying to erase our history, preserving and sharing these stories—from hidden queer figures to the fight for educational accessibility—is more urgent than ever. In this episode, Michael Venturiello, an LGBTQ+ historian and founder of Christopher Street Tours, joins us to talk about the importance of preserving LGBTQ+ history, the misconceptions that still exist, and how we can ensure these stories are passed down to future generations. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 17. Mobsters & Mos: How the Mafia Owned Gay NightlifeListen to Episode 63. The Stonewall Riots Additional Resources: The Mafia’s Control of New York's Gay Bars: A Hidden Chapter in LGBTQ+ HistoryLearn More About Christopher Street ToursRead Christopher Street Tours’ LGBTQ+ Community GuideFollow Christopher Street Tours on InstagramConnect with Christopher Street Tours on FacebookFollow Christopher Street Tours on TikTokFollow Michael Venturiello on InstagramConnect with Michael Venturiello on LinkedInThe Spiritually Curious Therapist Redefining therapy at the intersection of mental health, spirituality and healing. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the show Get Your Merch

The current landscape of LGBTQ+ bullying remains pervasive, especially in schools and online, where discrimination and harassment can have devastating impacts on mental health and well-being. Not only does this isolate individuals, but it also perpetuates a culture of fear and exclusion, making it harder for the community to achieve acceptance and equality. In this episode, Mike Keller, an author and speaker focused on raising bullying awareness, joins us to discuss how we can work together to eradicate bullying against LGBTQ+ individuals, raise awareness, and advocate for inclusive, supportive environments. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 69. That's So Gay (You Really Shouldn't Say That)Listen to Episode 118. Heterosexism: Take Off the Straight Jacket Additional Resources: Learn More About Mike KellerFollow Mike on InstagramRead Mike’s BooksSupport the show Get Your Merch

For gay men raised in religious environments, they often internalize harmful messages that condemn their sexual orientation, fostering a deep sense of unworthiness or fear. This religious trauma can manifest in lasting struggles with shame and self-acceptance, but through self-compassion, supportive communities, and healing practices, they can reclaim their sense of authenticity and pride in their identity. In this episode, Ann Russo, a religious trauma and queer empowerment specialist and founder of AMR Therapy, joins us to discuss how religious trauma impacts LGBTQ+ individuals and share strategies for reclaiming their sexuality and improving their mental health. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 62. Let Go of Your Religious Trauma (with Eric Feltes)Listen to Episode 76. Finally Free (with Seth Showalter) Additional Resources: Learn More About AMR Therapy & Support ServicesFollow AMR Therapy & Support Services on InstagramFollow AMR Therapy & Support Services on FacebookConnect with Ann on LinkedInSupport the show Get Your Merch

Het lag is a humorous term for the exhaustion and disorientation queer people experience after prolonged exposure to exclusively straight environments. While the term is lighthearted, it speaks to the very real psychological toll of minority stress—the mental and emotional burden of navigating predominantly heterosexual spaces, code-switching, and enduring heterosexism. In this episode, we’re diving into the concept of minority stress, exploring its impact on our well-being, and discussing how building community can help alleviate its physical and emotional effects. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 08. Finding Your CommunityListen to Episode 11. Overcoming Internalized HomophobiaListen to Episode 26. Gay & AnxiousListen to Episode 53. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other GaysListen to Episode 86. Turn Off Your Code-SwitchingListen to Episode 118. Heterosexism: Take Off the Straight JacketListen to Episode 135. Don't Be A Mean Gay Additional Resources: Finding Your Community: Navigating LGBTQ+ Friendships Beyond the Party SceneUnpacking Internalized Homophobia: A Deeper Look at Self-Directed NegativityAnxiety in Gay Men: Understanding Unique Challenges and Effective Coping StrategiesHet-Lag (Reddit)Het Lag (Twitter)Minority StressTrauma, Minority Stress, and Disproportionate Health Burden Among LGBTQ+ PeopleMinority Stress Theory: Application, Critique, and Continued RelevanceMinority Stress and LGBTQ+ Patients’ Mental HealthLGBTQ+ Mental Health and the Role of Minority StressSocial Isolation and Connectedness as Determinants of Well-Being: Global Evidence Mapping Focused on LGBTQ YouthThe Epidemic of Gay LonelinessSupport the show Get Your Merch

While many people equate Pride to June, Pride events happen across the world throughout the year, amplifying the voices of the LGBTQ+ community. Given the recent political climate and ongoing challenges to LGBTQ+ rights, it's more important than ever to celebrate, participate, and advocate for equality and inclusion 365 days a year. In this episode, Patrick Gevas from Miami Beach Pride joins us to dives into the significance of Pride events and shares insights on how to celebrate and amplify queer joy year-round.. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 105. The Pride Divide (with Tyrell Brown)Listen to Episode 106. Long Live Queer Nightlife (with Amin Ghaziani)Listen to Episode 108. Celebrate Queer Joy Additional Resources: Learn More About Miami Beach PrideFollow Miami Beach Pride on InstagramFollow Patrick Gevas on InstagramSupport the show Get Your Merch

While many people support LGBTQ+ rights and equality, true allyship goes a step further by actively standing against discriminatory legislation and amplifying queer voices. In this current political climate, it’s crucial that our allies remain engaged to protect hard-fought rights and continue pushing for progress toward a more inclusive future. In this episode, Greg Baird, a global lecturer and educator on LGBTQIA+ civil rights, joins us to explore how our allies can stand alongside us to challenge and dismantle hate and bigotry. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 09. Corporate Greed & Rainbow CapitalismListen to Episode 16. Being an Ally (with Cheyenne Filipczyk)Listen to Episode 110. Where Have All the Rainbows Gone? Additional Resources: Beyond the Rainbow: The Dark Side of Corporate Pride and Rainbow CapitalismTrue Allyship: Moving Beyond Performative Support for the LGBTQ+ CommunityLearn More About GregFollow Greg on InstagramSubscribe to Greg on YouTubeConnect with Greg on FacebookConnect with Greg on LinkedInSupport the show Get Your Merch

Gay stereotypes often arise from oversimplified and exaggerated portrayals in the media, which overlook the complexity of individual experiences and reinforce societal biases. While some of these stereotypes may seem harmless or humorous, they can lead to real-world consequences, including discrimination and alienation. In this episode, Mike Johnson and Kyle Getz, hosts of Gayish, join us to discuss their new book, You're Probably Gayish, which breaks down the most prevalent gay stereotypes in popular discourse. Additional Resources: Learn More About GayishBuy You’re Probably GayishFollow Gayish on InstagramSubscribe to Gayish on YouTubeFollow Mike on InstagramFollow Kyle on InstagramSupport the show Get Your Merch

We’ve previously examined the history of gay representation in TV and film, tracing its evolution from early portrayals to groundbreaking moments like Ellen, which helped pave the way for greater visibility. Among these influential shows, Will & Grace stood out as a game-changer, bringing gay characters into mainstream sitcoms and normalizing LGBTQ+ identities for a wide audience—though its representation wasn’t without flaws. In this episode, we’re exploring the conception of Will & Grace, its cultural significance, and the lasting impact it had on queer representation in television. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 07. The History of Gay Representation in TV & FilmListen to Episode 12. Queer as FolkListen to Episode 55. Gay for Pay: Should Straight Actors Play Queer Characters? Additional Resources: Streaming Through Stereotypes: The Progress and Pitfalls of LGBTQ+ Representation in MediaQueer as Folk: A Groundbreaking Journey of LGBTQ+ RepresentationWill & GracePilot (Will & Grace)Biden Says He is 'Absolutely Comfortable' with Same-Sex MarriageObama Backs Gay MarriageSupport the show Get Your Merch

The term "daddy" has been used as slang for over 300 years and was embraced by the gay community in the 1970s, particularly within the leather subculture, leading to the popular phrase "leather daddy." Today, in gay culture, "daddy" represents an older, confident, and nurturing figure, often admired for their authority, maturity, and sexual appeal, while also evoking playful and affectionate dynamics within romantic relationships. In this episode, For the Love of DILFs star Sal Zambito joins us to explore what it means to be a daddy in gay culture, the journey of embracing the daddy identity, and the valuable lessons daddies and boys can learn from one another within the gay community. Additional Resources: Follow Sal on InstagramFollow Sal on TikTokCheck out Sal on For the Love of DILFs Season 2Learn More About For the Love of DILFsConception of a Question: Who's Your Daddy?Here's an Outrageously Comprehensive Guide to the Term 'Daddy'Gay Daddy (Urban Dictionary)Daddy (Know Your Meme)S and M : Studies in dominance and submissionSupport the show Get Your Merch

In previous episodes, we discussed how gay men often found refuge in mafia-owned private bottle clubs, where they could drink and socialize without the fear of police raids or public hostility. These underground venues, while risky due to their illegal nature, offered a rare safe haven where gay men could express themselves more freely and form a sense of community away from the prying eyes of a largely unwelcoming society. In this episode, crime writer Chris Holcombe joins us to discuss how gay speakeasies emerged during the Prohibition era as secretive, underground venues where LGBTQ+ individuals could gather away from the scrutiny and persecution of mainstream society. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 17. Mobsters & Mos: How the Mafia Owned Gay NightlifeListen to Episode 63. The Stonewall Riots Additional Resources: Learn More About Chris HolcombeFollow Chris on InstagramSupport Chris on PatreonOrder the Hidden Gotham SeriesSubscribe to Chris’s Monthly EmailsGay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, 1890-1940Bulldaggers, Pansies, and Chocolate BabiesThree Plays: Sex / The Drag / The Pleasure ManThe Speakeasy Glossary – Queer Slang of the Prohibition EraSupport the show Get Your Merch

While playful putdowns and throwing shade have long been a celebrated form of humor and bonding among gay men, they can sometimes perpetuate cliques, exclusion, and toxic behaviors within the community. Not only does this behavior reinforces harmful stereotypes like the "bitchy queen" or "mean gay," but it also deepens divisions in an already marginalized community, reflecting the way we are often treated by the larger world. In this episode, we're exploring why mean gay behavior manifests, the impact it has on our community, and ways we can foster kindness and support among one another. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 34. GBF: Gay Best FriendListen to Episode 38. Learning to Accept KindnessListen to Episode 53. Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Gays Additional Resources: The Top 10 Reasons the Gay Community Is So Competitive10 Reasons Gay Men Are Hyper CompetitiveOp-ed: Are Gay Men A Gay Man's Worst Enemy?Ask a Homo: Bitchy QueensWhen Does a Bitchy Queen Become Too Much?Gays Behaving BadlyCulture Slut: Dissecting the 'Mean Gays' TropeMatthew J. Dempsey on How Gay Men "Compare & Despair"Support the show Get Your Merch

Following the harm inflicted on the LGBTQ+ community under the Trump administration from 2017-2021, including attacks on transgender rights and the rollback of anti-discrimination protections, many fear what the new era of Trump may bring. However, it’s vital that we remain unified, support one another, and continue to advocate for equality to protect and expand the progress we’ve made. In this episode, previous guests join us to share their messages of hope and optimism for the future of the LGBTQ+ community as we brace for the challenges that will come with this administration. Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 112. Project 2025Listen to Episode 122. A Queer Review of the Trump Administration (2017 – 2021) Additional Resources: Sign the Petition to Reject Project 2025Sign the Petition Urging Congress to Pass the Equality ActSupport the show Get Your Merch

As the end of the year approaches, it’s important to take a retrospective look to appreciate the challenges overcome, goals achieved, and lessons learned. In doing so, we can use the knowledge gained to build a stronger foundation for the year ahead. In this episode, we're revisiting some of our featured guest episodes from 2024! Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 109. Queens Slayin', Haters Prayin': A Drag-tacular Showcase (with Bev, Philly’s Queen of Comedy)Listen to Episode 111. Opening Doors: Navigate the Real Estate Rainbow (with Ryan Windt)Listen to Episode 113. Advocate Your Ass Off (with Anthony Munger)Listen to Episode 115. Spectrums of Pride (with Max Korten)Listen to Episode 116 Rainbows Don’t Paint Themselves (with Jacoby Nordberg)Listen to Episode 117. Get Pop Cultured (with Carmine Davis)Listen to Episode 119. Turning the Page on Queer Book Bans (with Alexander Rigby)Listen to Episode 121. Unpack Your Gay Emotional Baggage (with Dr. Jason Durant)Listen to Episode 124. Queer Frights & New Media: Horror Beyond the Screen (with Bobby Torrez)Listen to Episode 126. Gay of the Dead: Unleashing Queer Horror (with Sean Abley)Listen to Episode 127. Gay Icons: The Queen of Pop (with Stefan Mreczko)Listen to Episode 129. The Gay Wellness Revolution (with Peter DeWitt)Listen to Episode 130. Pride in Motion: Inclusive Fitness and Body-Positive Coaching (with Roy Belzer)Support the show Get Your Merch

As the end of the year approaches, it’s important to take a retrospective look to appreciate the challenges overcome, goals achieved, and lessons learned. In doing so, we can use the knowledge gained to build a stronger foundation for the year ahead. In this episode, we're revisiting some of our featured guest episodes from 2024! Related Episodes: Listen to Episode 87. Breaking the Binary (with Travis McMaster)Listen to Episode 89. Beyond the Brawn: Redefining Queer Masculinity (with Erick DuPree)Listen to Episode 91. Fat and Fabulous: Embrace Body Positivity (with Matthew Simko)Listen to Episode 93. Unlock Financial Freedom (with David & John Auten-Schneider)Listen to Episode 95. Take a Page from #GayBookstagram (with Rod Lujano)Listen to Episode 97. Diversifying Queer Horror Cinema (with Jose Nateras)Listen to Episode 99. Coming Out Later in Life (with Kevin O’ Connor)Listen to Episode 101. Sci-Fi: The Future is Queer (with TQ Sims)Listen to Episode 103. A Pulse Check on LGBTQ+ Healthcare (with Max Austin)Listen to Episode 105. The Pride Divide (with Tyrell Brown)Listen to Episode 106. Long Live Queer Nightlife (with Amin Ghaziani)Listen to Episode 107. Kiss & Release (with Anthony DiPietro)Support the show Get Your Merch

Since 1865, the Salvation Army has provided social services, such as shelter, food, and rehabilitation programs, to people in need. While known for its goodwill and iconic holiday red kettle campaign, the organization has faced controversy within the LGBTQ+ community over past policies and statements perceived as discriminatory. In this episode, we’re exploring the Salvation Army’s complex relationship with the LGBTQ+ community and the steps it has taken in recent years to improve inclusivity. Additional Resources: Committee’s Inquiry into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual AbuseSuit Claims Group's Staff Is Pressured On ReligionSettlement in Salvation Army Suit on ProselytizingNo Ban on Harry Potter, Twilight Xmas Donations, Says Sally AnnThe Salvation Army's History of Anti-LGBT DiscriminationSalvation Army Cuts S.F. Programs / Charity Spurns City's Domestic Partner LawCharity Is Told It Must Abide By Antidiscrimination LawsSalvation Army Uses Homeless to Fight Gay BenefitsB.C. Salvation Army Volunteer Tells Gay Rights Supporters Not to DonateStatement in Response to Australian Radio InterviewSalvation Army Refers People to Ex-Gay GroupsSalvation Army 'Does Not Consider Homosexual Orientation a Sin'Ellie Goulding Threatens to Cancel Her Cowboys Thanksgiving Halftime Show Over Salvation Army ConcernsSalvation Army Says It's No Longer HomophobicChick-fil-A Stops Donations To Anti-LGBTQ GroupsMacy's Won't Host Salvation Army This Holiday SeasonSalvation Army Commander: Yes, We Are Faith-Based Charity. But We Serve and Love Everyone.Support the show Get Your Merch