Kagro in the Morning

Why not start a Friday with weird sports news? But not just any weird sports news. Political sports news! A guy who is a genuine NFL player, albeit a kicker, has said some things. They were meant to be pretty conservative, especially with regard to gender roles, and he thought his views would be at home at a Catholic college. But nuns actually work for a living. We may never know who’s right about this dust-up as between the cops and a top pro golfer. But then again, not every story has a right side, you know? What’re you gonna do? Justice Alito would, for some reason, like you to think he has nothing whatsoever to do with flying the flag outside of his home. Oh, also, flying it upside-down. Anyway, his wife totally did it, he says. And because journalists love to tell you why things matter, here are some other reasons why that matters. Have you ever wondered what you would see if you could beam into a Trumpified future? Well, how about seeing the present in Israel and the West Bank? Granted, it could take you a long time to take it all in. But what if you could get the critical points in just a few minutes? Why, then you’d really have a distressing lens through which to view the crumbling of Western-style democracy! Not sure if that’s actually what you’re viewing? Well, what if American proto-fascists just started pardoning pro-fascist murderers? House Republicans are so eager to come to the NYC courthouse and kiss the ring that they’re leaving their “majority” unguarded. But they managed to cobble one together in time for a futile gesture toward Israel. Meanwhile, their Very Strong Leader is already looking to get out of the debates he bragged about agreeing to yesterday. Do you know about New Caledonia? You do now. On the good news side of the ledger: Hooray for the CFPB and active governance! And for scales falling from eyes!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin make it to the end of (Greg's) week! Unless you’re Greg, or need to get to Barron’s graduation, you still need to show up tomorrow. Michael Cohen, former fixer for Donald Trump, is fixing him good for his third day of testimony, his second under cross examination by crying little shit Todd Blanche. We are close to the finish line now, so close that Judge Merchan might resist the temptation to jail Trump for his contemptuous gang of surrogates outside the courthouse. If you thought that it was awful when Mike Johnson and his crew took wrecking balls to our justice system Tuesday, just see what they can do in the hands of Lauren Bobert! Nobody can gag Lauren! The dozen of Americans hesitant to make their decision between the two 2024 presidential candidates before they got to know them better, can rest easy as two debates have been scheduled. Pollsters crunch those numbers behind their increasing incompetency polling non-whites. Election news: Jan. 6 felony rioter Derrick Evans lost his Gop primary. Bethany “Grandma Killer” Mandel lost in her campaign for school board in Maryland, for which she ran as a Democrat. Gop Courtney Gore won her school board slot, then repented after she had discovered that she campaigned on lies. Mitt Romney takes the lead in the parade of Republicans demanding that Biden pardon Trump in 2025. Rudy Giuliani is probably still alive, which would be a major hitch in his plan to escape massive fines and jail time. 21 men have been trapped for weeks on the container ship that crashed into Baltimore’s Francis Scott Key Bridge with virtually no access to porn. Happily, the crew has been supplied with SIM cards and temporary phones for the duration. The US military has secured its floating pier to Gaza, finally allowing Gazans access to food and supplies and Israeli settlers to push more Palestinians into the sea. Does Trump hope to be our Orbán, Berlusconi or Netanyahu? One thing is certain: Chaya Raichik is our American Itamar Ben-Gvir.

On today’s KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin announce that we are right. In fact, it turns out that we were correct all along! The People of the State of New York v. Orange J. Turd takes their Wednesday break today. Yesterday, Trump’s backup singers arrived well rehearsed to all sing the same tune outside the courthouse. Imagine their embarrassment when Tommy Tuberville wanted to join in. Tag team porn watcher Mike Johnson missed his chance to get Stormy’s autograph, but as second in line to the presidency, felt a responsibility to crap on democracy and the U.S. system of justice. Inside the courthouse, Trump defense attorney Todd Blanche apparently thought that his job was to start a bar fight so Donald could slip out the back. All Todd did was remind everyone of the precise reason they were all there. Even Ed Koch showed up to give Trump a kick in the pants. Other former New York Mayor Rudy Colludy Giuliani probably wishes that he could be sitting right next to Mr. Koch at this very moment. So, Donald Trump is a little ahead in some of the polls. So what! Why believe those polls, when you can imagine them being better? Why believe polls that you don’t like when there are so many nice polls to look at? For instance, 1 in 5 Republicans voted against Trump in Nebraska and Maryland, instead voting for Nikki Haley, who isn’t even running for anything! Well in November they have to vote for somebody, don’t they? Well maybe not… but it could be for Joe, right? Look at the polls for the Democratic primary in Maryland. David Trone was ahead the entire time, until he wasn’t. That has to tell you something, doesn’t it? Dahlia Lithwick continues to describe how the Supreme Court decides upon laws, then looks for reasons that they are correct in their decision.

David Waldman takes The KITM House off of double-secret probation to allow Joan McCarter to visit a while. Good news for Donald Trump! That IRS audit has finally been completed, and Trump will be able to share his tax returns from now on. Michael Cohen (the one who is not the other one) returned to the “Von ShitzinPantz”, or if you prefer, the “Orange Turd” trial. Today was Mike Johnson’s turn to be Trump’s contempt ventriloquist puppet. Mike is an example of those kind of puppets that work by going up their opperator’s backside. Johnson is doing this to impress MAGA. He’s not, but that’s OK, because it’s Democrats who are keeping him in his job. Marjorie Taylor Greene is still determined to pull Mike off the cliff with her. The Israel-Palestine conflict is a tale of horrible villains and horrific victims, told over and over and over again. It’s also a tale of the sole democracy in the Middle East... a story wearing a bit thin. FreedomWorks had become unworkable, and is now inoperative. Oh-oh! Vice President Kamala Harris was caught cussing! That’s not Vice Presidential behavior, now is it? Originalism is how Right-wing activist judges rewrite the law. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports that Ottawa county keeps ousting Ottawa Impact screwballs.

Where were you in the geomagnetic storm of ‘24? A few tractors have been seen wandering about, but no giant carnivorous plants, spooky kids or zombie hordes to speak of, which is actually a good thing, as David Waldman and Greg Dworkin already have enough on their plates to discuss as it is. Today at the Orange Turd Von ShitzinPantz trial, informally known as the “Trump hush money trial” the prosecution called their star witness, Michael Cohen. (No, not the guy you're thinking of… then again, he probably is.) Michael Cohen was Donald Trump’s fixer. Not just anybody's, but Trump’s specifically, so Michael can testify on what needed to be fixed, and how it was fixed. Of course Trump intertwined the Trump Organization into his presidency. Senator Robert Menendez is happy that media attention has been reduced on his trial, or would be, if it had any bearing on him not going to jail forever. Those in the media are in need of a mindset adjustment. Donald Trump is not entitled to Secret Service protection in jail or prison. The police can be trusted to look after him, having only one slip up with Donald’s friend, the late, great Hannibal Lecter... and his other friend, Jeffery Epstein. States do not agree on how to handle their fake electors. Meanwhile, Kari Lake would say anything to get attention, and yet everything she says keeps getting less attention. Gops can’t understand why everyone is talking about of this, when President Joe Biden hasn’t been impeached.

David Waldman makes a surprise return to KITM! It was mostly a surprise to him, but there he was, sitting in front of the microphone, so he figured, why not? By popular (David’s Mom) request, Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports on Abdullah Hammoud, the Mayor of Dearborn, Michigan deciding whether to support Joe Biden, and if a lack in his support will bring peace to Gaza, or Donald Trump to office. Meanwhile, over in Rosalyn’s neck of the woods, voters in Ottowa County recalled a GOP county commissioner who voted to repeal their DEI department. Joe Biden is out there trying. Joe announced that the U.S. will not supply Israel with weapons to attack Rafah, which isn’t everything, but it’s something. The problem with satisfying issues voters is when they wonder what you’ve done for them lately. With ideological voters, they will always/never be happy. Donald Trump prefers purely transactional donors who give him billions, and he can stiff later. The Senate passed a reauthorization of the Federal Aviation Administration once they gave Senators direct flights out of DCA. Orange Turd, Von ShitzinPants, whatever his name is today, he’s back in court. He sure can golf though, huh? “Stockholm Syndrome” is how police describe cooperating with someone who isn’t a cop, because you’d have to be insane to not cooperate with the cops.

It’s Thursday, the day David Waldman interrupts Greg Dworkin's laundry day to get the latest in news and analysis! (Greg still works a couple of loads through.) So, RFK Jr had a brainworm, but why did the worm have to be such a hog? How could such a thing happen? Maybe Bob just said it to win a divorce settlement, in which case he certainly must have brainworms. Stormy Daniels testified for the second day of the last criminal trial Donald Trump will ever have. The court was packed, as Stormy is an actual celebrity. Daniels’ of course was aware that her reputation could only be harmed by being associated with the likes of Trump, and yet one slip in judgement years ago painted her forever as a person with low standards. Daniels, who is used to improvisation in her regular work, also took some heat for going off-script in court. The fact remains that her absence changed history in 2016, and her presence might change it again. Donald Trump’s lifelong quest to stay out of jail will end one way or the other, sooner or later, but people associated with him are on a faster track. In Georgia, prosecutors have messages showing Trump’s team is behind election interference efforts… and in Michigan, former Adams Township clerk Stephanie Scott is facing criminal charges for mishandling voter data, while she’s running for Hillsdale County clerk … and in Colorado, the indicted County Clerk’s Deputy will testify against her boss… and in 2024, few Republicans seem even a bit smarter. Marjorie Taylor Greene loses again, but if she didn’t, who would pay attention to her? Journalists find their job of maintaining false equivalencies tougher with each passing day. President Joe Biden will not supply Israel with weapons to attack Rafah. Ronald Reagan wouldn’t either. John Fetterman would. Bibi is the worst.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin fight ignorance and injustice on today’s KITM. Well, most of the KITMs, actually, but today is a good example. Stormy Daniels took the stand in Orange Turd v. Von ShitzinPantz yesterday. Stormy, known to have a way with words, recounted the details and drama of her short time with Donald Trump leading up to his committing 30+ criminal offences. People like Samson, Ron Jeremy and Trump have a way with the ladies that evangelicals just can’t help but admire. Is Marjorie Taylor Greene man enough to take on Mike Johnson? Mike and Marge’s little catfight makes Donald Trump seem like a fair-minded mediator. Kristi Noem can’t distract Newsmax or Fox Business with neither her masculinity nor femininity. Trump is having a hard time measuring up to Nikki Haley in Indiana, as some voters begin measuring by character. Money isn’t enough to make up for some shortcomings. Aileen Cannon still loves Donald, almost as much as she loves Leonard Leo. Trump might not be immune in other’s eyes, but with Aileen he will always be. KAHANISM! That’s the term for right-wing extremist Zionism, and one Reuven Kahane took to heart. Right-wing judges will no longer hire graduates of Columbia as clerks. Did you guess that RFK Jr. has brainworms? Yep, you were right.

David Waldman brings the Tuesday energy today and leaves it all on the KITM court. Donald Trump demands mandatory attendance to his Fertilization Party. NH Gop Jess Edwards wants that party packed with young girls, ripe for the picking. Israel is agreeing to a “cease-fire”, but not a crash-diet on their end, maybe a few cheat days, a fun-size bombing or two just to taper off. Young voters might not like this, but they don’t like a lot of things. Hillel International used to be a welcoming campus organization for Jews, but paradoxically, with big donors came big debts. Stormy Daniels thankfully didn’t have to confirm everything at today’s Von ShitzinPants trial, but she is on the stand to confirm enough… probably. We are still a long way from the verdict, even if it’s only a few weeks from now. Jack Smith will show that Trump valet Walt Nauta texted photos of some classified documents that his boss stole. That would be damning evidence, if there ever was a trial. Aileen Cannon might not know how to be a judge, but she has reached the Supreme Court level in coyness. Is Henry Cuellar just like George Santos, or Bob Menendez? Donald Trump can tell you, they’re all being picked on because they’re Republicans.

Today, David Waldman reminds us that there’s only 364 shopping days until Eastern Orthodox Easter, while Greg Dworkin oars his Raft O’Stories™ down the Mighty KITM onto the shoals of big Monday. Donald Trump calls for the arrests of people who irk him on a daily basis, but he only hints at their assassinations. If you are one of Trump’s VP contenders, which one do you promote? Krisi Noem has clearly chosen her path to victory, while Tim Scott has much more of a wait and see attitude. Marjorie Taylor Greene needed some cash, so she took out a hit on Mike Johnson. Some want him to stay, or leave, or don’t care. No one should expect Mike to persuade or organize anyone in any way. Lauren Boebert went to George Washington University in an attempt to reach around to students, but was surprised on how darn quickly they get pumped up. The historic Von Shitzinpants v. New York trial heads into yet another week with yet another guilty verdict. Donald Trump might finally get what he deserves yet. Trump’s lawyers say that of course Trump has always lied to you, but just not this time… promise! Hope Hicks, how does she do it? 183 days until the election and President Joe Biden does not have the lead, except in the only way that counts. Over in the UK, the voter Brexit continues for the Tories. Israel proposes a cease fire with Hamas, plus just a tiny bit of extra bombing in Rafah… might as well use those extra bombs while they have them. The Foundation for Jewish Campus Life, also known as Hillel International, used to be a sleepy little oasis for students who missed aspects of their culture. But nobody hasn’t taken some side anymore.

May the Third be with you! You’re always a little ahead of the curve with David Waldman and KITM! Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports on Jordan Epperson, another local right wing nutjob running for office in Ottawa County, not so controversial for his nutjobness, but for being a prettyboy hire, although he did build his nutjob bona fides over time… Whoops, he’s already out. How does Don Von ShitzinPants do it? If anyone knows Donald Trump’s dirty little and big secrets, it’s Hope Hicks, whose job was to steam Donald’s pants even before he did it on his own. If you think most voters mind the cops busting up protesters, then you don’t know most voters. Republicans know that when it comes to protesters, voters want to MAGA. Somewhere along the incel spectrum lie "Tradwives", ostensibly virgin/whores for their Traddads, but actually in intense competition for each other’s envy and admiration. Makeup, diet, cleaning and decorating tips are traded and copied, along with conspiracy theories, fearmongering, and fundamental religion. Some are attempting to reduce tradwife impact through satire and ridicule, but trads are probably pretty impervious to that. That’s why they are such a good fit for Donald Trump, but probably an even better fit for RFK Jr. A Girl Scout won a Gold Award for creating a library of banned books, then mention of her commendation got cancelled.

May day, again! On today’s KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin perform many of the rarely heard verses of “I’m Just a Bill”, along with that old dance hit, the “Motion to Recommit”. If the Gop thinks they can shut up Marjorie Taylor Greene, then they might have something there. Twelve departing lawmakers tell us what Congress is really like… well, maybe not like Matt Gaetz could tell you. The trial of Sleepy Don, TFG, TFFG, TFFFG, Baron Von ShitzinPantz… really, if we had to herald all of Trump’s royal ranks and titles, Trump could be able to delay the trial for days. Meanwhile, Donald Trump humbly asks the American people for another chance to be their dictator, promising to be much more dictatory this time around. Tears in their eyes, America thanks Donald for granting them the lawlessness they’ve always so richly deserved. Unfortunately for Trump, Tradwife influencers are kind of kooks, and that demographic is owned by RFK Jr. Colleges across the US have been ruminating on when the best time is to call in the cops to crack down and crack heads. U.C.L.A. regrets enrolling those hippies in the first place. What’s wrong with being patriotic and dressing to impress like some of the kids?

Hooray! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have heard our May day calls and are steaming our way with a huge Raft O’ Stories™. Today’s protest generation is probably sincere, probably thoughtful, but are they really being politically savvy? If not, then apparently, the Columbia University Department of Political Science is a worthless sham. How can so many young people, on campuses across the nation, not have their focus honed into a single soundbite? It’s terribly confusing to the older people. Columbia University sent the New York Police in to round up student demonstrators rather than divesting from companies with ties to Israel, because divesture is just too complex of a subject to describe to the youngsters, and apparently, the Columbia Business School is another worthless sham. Who wants peace and Palestinian rights anyhow? Well, for one example, a lot of Zionists do. Back to Donald Trump. Donald figures that if he can only score a little jail time, his lawyers will finally quit their nudging him awake so he might get a little rest. Trump dreams of being a dictator, with an endless stable of liars and lunatics at his beck and call. Trump said as much in his talk with TIME magazine, if you call what Trump does as “talking”. Gops hate Democrats so much that they’re rejecting democracy… or vice versa. Gop Don Bacon resolved to shake his fist at Dem Ilhan Omar. Hakeem Jeffries is out there trying to save his old pal Mike Johnson from Mike’s old pal Marjorie Taylor Greene. If we were to only elect a good Kennedy, the House situation could look a little better.

It’s Tuesday, and David Waldman presents the finale of our KITM Holiday MarathonⓊ, with Special Tuesday guest Joan McCarter over in the KITM Book Corner. We continue under the clouds of mass shooting, this time with 8 police shot, 4 dead, and a couple of AR-15s used for their designed intent. Columbia University students are packing into Hind’s (né Hamilton) Hall hungry for knowledge and debate, and posing many questions: Are Zionists anti-Palestinian? Are pro-Palestinians antisemites? Are anti-Zionists anti-Semites or anti-diaspora? Luckily, pedants are always on hand to assist. Yeehaw! Howard Dean is thinking of making a comeback, now that the retail media is a bit less picky on candidate decorum.In the meantime, Donald Trump plans to kill everyone, although half of everyone still believe that he isn’t referring to “them”. Some Republicans are still idiot enough to believe that he is only referring to “you”. Perhaps Joe Biden could use a little of that presidential immunity about now, at least on the Supreme Court. Meanwhile, TFFG has been fined NINE BIG ONES by New York Judge Merchan. That’ll straighten him out. This kind of stuff happens everywhere. Germany allowed ex-soldiers, pretend royalty, astrologers and master chefs to get pretty far in their overthrow plot before deciding to crack down. Citizens United cleared the way for the biggest political bribery scandal in Ohio history, and it takes a pretty big one in Ohio to cause enough of a stink to get any prosecutions. People connected to it are now dropping like Russian plutocrats.

It’s Monday! David Waldman is back, so is Greg Dworkin, find out why on today’s KITM! Antisemitic agitators storming college campuses clash with bloodthirsty gestapo out to crack some skulls before commencement… or maybe everyone should maybe take a step back, as everyone knows that the only ones who want to play that are the people who want to stay on top. Donald Trump is back in court… or is he? Trump hasn’t yet denied being on trial, but he has definitely tried everything else. Trump will likely soon be held in contempt, and what then? Probably nothing. Trump gave away all the keys to Mar-a-Lago, so he’s back to handing out keys to the White House. The song and dance team of Trump and DeSantis might be reuniting. That old trombone Ron will be playing could be pretty rusty, so who knows if he can still carry the tune. VP wannabe, serial killer Kristi Noem reveals her gravel pit of death, vows to continue her vile rampage until she captures the attention of her unrequited love. Here’s hoping that she has a shot. Mike Johnson knew that he’d pay for defying Trump on Ukraine, but probably expected a primary challenger rather than a firing squad. It’s not exactly the Chicago way, but the Maine way might work against the Nebraskan way. TFFG is Unindicted Coconspirator #1, as swing states start trying fake electors. George Stephanopoulos finally gives up on both-sidesing and tells his audience that voting for Trump will destroy America. America replies, “Ok, but by ‘America’, you don’t mean ‘me’, right?”

On Today’s KITM, David Waldman does what he can to prepare us for whatever it is coming our way. Donald Trump’s hush money/election interference trial resumed Friday in Manhattan Criminal Court, where. uhm, where… Oh my God, he’s going to get away with it all, isn’t he? Yesterday, the Supreme Court posed the question, “If Donald Trump can’t commit federal crimes with complete impunity, then who can?” They pondered the conundrum of whether the President is just too big to jail, too tied to American democracy and liberty to reign in. (As would be, of course, those Supreme Court justices, several billionaires, and a few foreign potentates.) After all, it’s how the Founding Fathers would have wanted it, had they planned to ignore the citizenry. It’s how MAGA citizenry wants it today. A right-wing legal group discovered that lawsuits are an efficient and economical way to spread election disinformation. A former Baltimore high school athletic director is accused of framing the principal using Artificial Intelligence. The only solution to this growing problem would naturally be flamethrowing robot dogs.

It’s Thursday, and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back to discuss everything important and newsworthy... except flamethrowing robot dogs. That subject remains woefully under-reported here. Kids nowadays! What’s with all of these anti-war protests at campuses? Quit acting like your grandparents and get a job! Oh, and if you want to appear sensible, don’t demonstrate overt support for either the Viet Cong or Hamas. MintPress might smell fresh, but should probably remain only a garnish on your news media diet. Pecker got Trump into his present criminal trial, and Pecker might just convict him, along with 40 other witnesses there to cut Donald down to size. An Arizona grand jury indicted Mark Meadows, Rudy Giuliani and Boris Epshteyn plus many more for 2020 election interference. Donald Trump is “Unindicted Co-conspirator #1” in Arizona, and over in Michigan as well. Arizona Gop Chair Kelli Ward will hopefully get to see the arrest, perp walk and jail time that she had requested. Christina Bobb is the lawyer overseeing the RNC's "election integrity" efforts, and now will have on-the-job training as a defendant. More swing states will soon swing into action on their fake electors as more Gop money is transferred to lawyers. Donald will thank them all someday, just as he thanked Bill Barr for his service. All of this should worry President Joe Biden. Ask any Nate, and they’ll tell you that Dems are in disarray and Trump’s only problem is having any party to run against in November. Meanwhile, in the Republican House, everything is as solid as their Biden impeachment efforts. Trump only needs is 5 votes, and he can put all of this aggravation behind him. RIP Donald Payne, six-term Congressman from New Jersey. David’s old enough to know his dad!

It’s Wednesday, and David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back with the news, views, and wishes for a happy Passover, and National Pigs in a Blanket Day for those of us with absolutely zero dietary restrictions. Fake news! Mint Press isn’t the only one passing around stories too good to be true, more will be on the way. Syrian chemical weapons conspiracy theorists are being stoked to parrot Assad regime and Kremlin falsehoods. Protests spread across US campuses, and no one is more happy than the Gops. Mike Johnson leads the charge for photo ops at Columbia. Donald Trump gets teenier and tinier each day, while his problems only get bigger. His lawyers strategy of blurting out whatever has worn thin in just a few days. Now it has become not so nuts to start planning for a conviction. Speaking of nuts, whether Donald Trump castrated Republicans or they neutered themselves doesn’t matter as long as they’ve been fixed. The Senate easily approved aid for Israel, Ukraine, and Taiwan while they were at it, and President Joe Biden signed off on it. If you thought Trump would be perfect with more cynicism and nihilism, meet J.D. Vance. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports from Michigan that Rebekah Curran figures her Ottawa County Commissioner experience would make her a perfect fit for United States Senator. Now she just needs 11,780 votes plus 3220 or so. The Republicans in the race include Mike Rogers, Justin Amash and Peter Meijer. Yes the Peter Meijer you’ve read about on the handle of your grocery cart. The Democratic candidate Elissa Slotkin remains narrowly in the lead. Soon to join their January 6 brethren and sistren up the river will be members of the Fake Elector Gang.

Happy Passover! David Waldman and Joan McCarter present today’s Holiday Special KITM Ⓚ Senator Tom Cotton wants the National Guard to clamp down on the anti-war hippy movement on college campuses. In 1970, Ohio Governor Jim Rhodes tried out a similar idea in a pretty well-publicized case. Cotton should consider Rhodes’ eventual plight of finishing his maximum two terms as Governor, skipping a term, then having the Ohio Supreme Court declare that he could return for another two terms, then running for Governor following those four terms and 16 years, SUBSEQUENTLY LOSING. Lesson learned! (And Donald Trump is taking notes.) Stymieing Trump’s ambitions for his second through fifth presidential terms are multiple felony court cases that keep dredging up truth and facts. It’s really hard to foment a respectable mob in such conditions. To battle their annoyingly truth and fact laded prosecution, Trump’s defense is deploying a “blurt out distractions” strategy. President Joe Biden got aid for Ukraine, although he had to cut border security out of the deal to get it… Thanks Trump! Marjorie Taylor Greene is counting her votes to oust Speaker Mike Johnson, and has so far made it to “three”, which pretty much used up her remaining brainpower. Anyhow, Mike doesn’t have much to do with the House. In Montana, Republican Senate hopeful Tim Sheehy is trying to George Santos his way to election. In Pennsylvania, Dave McCormick figures that the Santos method is also worth a try. Your tax dollars at work: Loss of federal protection in Idaho means that pregnancy emergencies might need to LifeFlight to other states, while migrants flown to Martha’s Vineyard by Ron DeSantis now qualify for special visas!

Mmm — Do you sense a certain “earthiness” in the air today? Why yes, that’s David Waldman and Greg Dworkin with today’s KITM Earth Day Special! I regret the error. In last Friday’s summary I had stated that since the release of the Congressional FART team, all of the good fart jokes had now been written. As you KITM listeners know however, no matter what, Donald Trump always seems to have something cooking. I had discounted that Donald would never breathe easy… until no one can. TFFG earns yet another F. So much for it being a “hush” trial… I can’t stop! Well, pretty soon we’ll all be talking about how Trump’s old pal Pecker is letting him down with embarrassing leaks. Much better! Yep, that sound you hear is Trump deflating. Donald shakes his tiny fist and demands his followers avenge him. Trump’s MAGA are however turning micro, and his own family has better things to do. Donald Trump’s lack of popularity is somehow making him… less popular. It’s looking like it will be another good week for America and President Joe Biden. The Senate voted to dismiss the House’s stunt impeachment against Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas. Congress... no actually, Mike Johnson... no actually, Donald Trump voted for Ukraine aid… No, actually there is no Gop Congress anymore. While Mike Johnson and Marjorie Taylor Greene were out back measuring to see whose Crucifix was larger, Hakeem Jeffries quietly took control of what civility that was left. The winner of this Congress is Joe Biden. Joe’s getting his mojo back. Hopefully his Joementum will dislodge Trump from his Supreme Court. Today’s January 6 FAFO winner: Scott Miller of Millersville. EU parliamentary elections are upcoming in France, so it’s recieving the majority of Russian disinformation this week.