Conversations with Cinthia

Do you let people love you? Do you accept gifts graciously, receive compliments kindly, and gratefully experience help when it is offered? If not, you aren’t alone; many people minimize compliments, feel uncomfortable with gifts and kindnesses given, and even reject help offered despite really needing it. We all need love, but it can be harder to receive than we might expect. Today Cinthia encourages us to allow ourselves to be loved, examining some reasons we may not do so and offering alternative responses that are more gracious. Reasons for struggling to accept love can include suspicion or difficulty trusting others. We may wonder if there are “strings” attached to a gift or fear that accepting a kind gesture will put us in debt to another person. But a gift is, by definition, offered without the expectation of payment. Receiving kindly means expressing appreciation, perhaps giving an authentic “thank you,” perhaps even telling the person what their kindness means to us or saying something like, “You made my day.” But we are not obligated to “mind-read” and try to figure out whether the giver may secretly be expecting something in return. We have to practice not “reading into things” more than we should. If there is no obvious reason to fear an ulterior motive, most often we can graciously accept the gift as it is presented. In fact, this is a mark of good boundaries: we allow others to be responsible for their communications and take responsibility for our own. If there are conditions we do not know, we can ignore them unless and until they are communicated. If it turns out that the giver was expecting reciprocity, we can respond to that when we learn of it, perhaps saying something like, “I wish I had known that you expected that in return; I am not able to do that. What can I do now?” In some cases we might even return a gift, explain that we will not be able to accept further help, etc. In many cases, however, this does not become necessary. Actually, lots of people sometimes enjoy doing nice things for others, giving gifts, or being kind without trying to set up recipients to be in their debt. Why drain their joy and our own by undermining their kindness with our suspicions? Train yourself in the following boundary: “I don’t have to be a mind-reader.” Receive with kindness. Another reason for rejecting kindness, grace, help, or gifts can be a sense of embarrassment or shame at being seen as vulnerable, weak, or in need. This can be especially true with those closest to us; sometimes we find it easier to accept help from strangers than to be known and assisted by those who are close to us. But covering is a function of love. Different than enabling (which protects sin), love grants us protection while we are in the process of repentance and change. God does this for us without limit. People do have limits since our endurance cannot match His, but people who love us can offer us safe harbors in which to change rather than exposing us throughout the process, just as we can do for them. Allow those who love you to support you as you change. Receive their support with kindness. Sometimes we struggle to accept gifts, help, or kindness because we believe we do not deserve such good things. Often, this is because we are choosing to believe our own negative feelings, but this does not justify insulting the giver by refusing to receive or trying to pay for what is freely offered. The one who shows mercy offers a blessing; don’t steal from the person trying to bless you. Acknowledge and accept compliments, whether or not you believe them. Allow the love extended to effect healing in you. Do not give back simply to fix the uncomfortable feeling you have when someone gives you something. Recognize where you end and the other person begins; your discomfort is a part of your experience and something you must address, not something to project onto the other person. Receive kindly. Cinthia read several verses from I Corinthians...

Cinthia explained at the outset that she sees lots of problems in her practice with people thinking they are not enough, not measuring up, and that this leads to comparing and contrasting themselves with others “twenty-four, seven.” She also explained that she has struggled with comparison in her own thoughts and has worked hard over the course of her life to address this. Cinthia stated that always wanting “to know we’re ok” is part of “the human condition,’ but noted that comparing ourselves to each other as an attempt to accomplish this is highly problematic. How can we compare things that are each intended to be completely unique? Our comparisons also tend to reveal the problems in our priorities. Most of us tend to be dissatisfied with the amount of money we have or the way we look, but God is much more concerned with our morality and whether we are living out the design He made us to live. Comparison offers us nothing to gain and so much to lose; this is why Theodore Roosevelt stated, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Comparison damages pride, dignity, drive, and passion. Things of great value are devalued and lost. There is no end to the comparison options, so there is no way to solve our discontent by succeeding in our comparisons. Comparing focuses us on things we cannot control. It works against being grateful and happy. Comparisons distract us. Even when they comfort us, it is usually on the basis of our perceived superiority to someone else, and this is problematic, too. As a remedy to our ongoing struggles with comparison, Cinthia suggested we “take advantage of some of God’s thoughts.” She read from Psalm 139 in the New Living Translation and talked about various phrases. She described realizing from these verses that God knew every choice she would make, good and bad, before He created her, and still chose to make her; this made her realize how much He loved her since He still wanted her existence to happen, even with all the costs it entailed. The same is true for each of us. Cinthia also read from Romans 9:20 and verses following, calling this a rebuke from God to those of us who tend to resist His design for us and talk back to Him about the way He made us. She paraphrased, “Who are you to talk back to God? You are a created being. I made you the way I wanted to make you, and I’m happy with the design.” To assume God never takes our ongoing criticism personally is to deny that He is an emotional Being. He is so happy with how He made us, and we complain because we are not getting His vision of us. Despite this, it is better to engage with God and struggle with Him regarding our feelings about His design than to turn to society and ask for its opinion on our design; society has no real ability or right to help us with this. So, if you struggle, engage with Him about it. Ask and accept why He made you and what His vision is for you as His creation. God is proud of His work and wants the universe to see His designs lived out. He intended us to be different from one another, to look different, to do different things. He wanted us to have special ways of interacting with Him, ways He could be with each one, just as parents enjoy different ways of interacting with each child. Comparison is a hard habit to break, so here are some alternatives to “just stopping:”

Cinthia opened today’s episode with a famous sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, entitled “How Do I Love Thee?” The poem famously begins, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways,” and then beautifully lists a variety of ways the lover in the poem loves the beloved. Cinthia cited this as a beautiful exploration of the reality that love is acted upon, carried out, expressed in actions and gestures that mean something to the lover and to the beloved. Have you ever done something meaningful for someone you loved, only to observe that the individual didn’t seem to find it meaningful? It is very important to know how people want to be loved. It can be exhausting to give and give but find that the person to whom we are giving is not emotionally nurtured by the things we are giving. In The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman listed five “languages” through which people give and receive love; these were words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts. Chapman asserted that individuals tend to have preferred ways in which they most like to be shown love, ways that most effectively communicate love to each person. Cinthia elaborated today on the idea that, while we can all receive love in a variety of ways and may not have only one “love language,” we do have primary preferences in this area, communications of affection that resonate with us more than others, gestures that give us emotional nourishment we can most easily receive. Recognizing and honoring one another’s love languages streamlines our efforts in relationships, making our attempts to meet one another’s needs more effective and keeping the needs from becoming overwhelming. Learning to communicate through love languages is a process. As a loved one, knowing yourself involves knowing what makes you feel loved and owning it. Adults can accept not having emotional needs met in every situation, but, in close relationships, it is helpful to communicate to other people what will most help us to feel loved. Simultaneously, we must learn the preferences of those we love and be willing to communicate with them in these ways. Cinthia explains, “When we are loving someone, it is an investigative process… The problem is, I probably need to learn how to love you instead of assuming that the way I love feels good to you. See, we have this tendency to want to love people the way that we feel love. But the most loving thing I could do is to love you the way you want to be loved. This means I may need to do things that aren’t very exciting to me, or fun, or invigorating. But, if I do them, you feel great. And, really, maybe that’s the point.” Are you willing to communicate love to your closest loved ones, even when it feels involves altering some of your habits or behaviors, feeling uncomfortable, or engaging in gestures that are not meaningful to you but mean a lot to the one you love? There are specific messages we need to receive in order to feel loved. These include, “I see you,” which we gain from focused attention, presence, fulfillment the basic human need to be seen; “I know you,” which involves understanding what something might be like for an individual and recognizing how various experiences might be different for one person than for someone else; and, “You’re safe with me,” which requires being able to trust someone with confidences and know that tolerance, forgiveness, acceptance, and desire for growth will be part of the relationship. Cinthia briefly explored each of the five love languages. Regarding people whose love language is acts of service, she noted that actions are required to back up words spoken. For those whose love language is receiving gifts, the focus is not on how expensive the gift is but on the communication that you know what would please that person and have taken effort to do so. Quality time involves uninterrupted focus, prioritizing your time together, connecting emotionally; while the activity itself is not...

Is attraction something that just comes and goes, completely beyond our control? Today Cinthia explores attractiveness as a responsibility we have to others, one that is not primarily about our physical makeup. While she introduces this topic in terms of spouses who are no longer attracted to their spouses, she explores it further as it applies to our interactions with society in general. How attractive we are has to do with what it is like for others to be around us. This is why men often appear more attractive when they exhibit “confidence contained.” In all of us, qualities like kindness, gentleness, mercy, flexibility, nobleness, health, willingness to work hard, etc., tend to be attractive, while disrespectfulness, immaturity, vulgarity, being unaware of your audience, refusing to cooperate with others, and selfishness in general make us less attractive to others. We are more attractive when we adjust ourselves somewhat to others by learning to “check the temperature of the room;” for example, we can notice whether other people find their jokes humorous and when they do not. They notice how their behavior is impacting others and adjust to those with whom they interact. In our society, many people expect that others should be attracted to them unconditionally, as if all of society is obligated to offer them the unconditional acceptance they needed from their parents and continue to need from God. Sometimes people today expect that their showing up should be enough for everyone else. However, this is not a realistic expectation for adults to hold. We offer babies unconditional goodwill no matter how much they scream or how many bodily fluids they deposit on us because we understand that they are babies. We accept that teenagers are learning to deal with others maturely and may sometimes be difficult to engage; this is because we understand that they are teenagers. Adults, however, have the ability and the expectation to recognize that their behavior impacts other people. Our behavior can make us unattractive. Our hygiene practices can make it uncomfortable for people to come close to us. To refuse to recognize this is immature, and it is draining for others who have to deal with it on a regular basis. It takes courage to own the experience others have of us when we interact together, but maturity knows that its decisions matter. Selfishness and immaturity are exhausting for others. Pushing boundaries for attention gets old. Creating awkwardness or discomfort just to get a reaction gets tiresome. Selfishness, withholding, refusing to share or fill in the gaps for those who cannot do it themselves – these things are burdensome to others. Don’t confuse assertiveness and selfishness; they are not the same thing. Owning your impact does not mean being someone that you are not, hiding your feelings all the time, or constantly seeking to meet everyone else’s expectations, no matter how unrealistic or unwholesome. It simply means recognizing that you are not entitled to show up without showering, use whatever language you want, and expect everyone to be thrilled that you are there. It means acknowledging that others are allowed to have feelings about the impact of your decisions on them. As an adult, you can learn to be an attractive person, regardless of whether you possess physiological beauty. This does not mean our appearance is irrelevant, however; the ways in which we care for ourselves are relevant to the experience others have of us. The way we dress indicates something about our own willingness to contain ourselves instead of expecting others to deal with the rawest versions of us. Going to the grocery store in pajamas, for example, may to communicate to others that our own comfort is our highest priority and that we have little concern for the atmosphere we are helping to create. While the 1950’s had another set of problems, one positive aspect of that decade was the expectation people embraced to show some respect...

Are you willing to pursue virtue, or do you think of it as costing too much? Pleasure has a price, too, one that is sometimes worth paying and sometimes not. Pleasure is often an attempt to mitigate pain, but sometimes the price of pleasure is more pain for us and others. How much is your pleasure costing you? Your loved ones? Your community and society? Cinthia explains, “Pain is real. Pain management, when done morally, is the best antidote and possible cure for pain… in this world. Pleasure, however, most often masquerades as giving you positive feelings. It seems to give you rest and relaxation and fun, but it always has a price.” Pursuing pleasure is different than simply enjoying it as a by-product of pursuing what is good. The single-minded pursuit of pleasure is a dangerous road, a slow burn, one that often costs us the best things in life. We often think about the costs of our pleasure-seeking in our own lives, but we often do not consider the costs to others. Good character understands and respects the price of pleasure to ourselves and others. Good character qualities produce emotional, intellectual, relational, spiritual, and physical currency. When we practice good character, we produce more emotional health, and we use our physical bodies differently. We recognize that we are not in the world all by ourselves; we impact and are impacted by others. This makes it important to be a good friend, partner, parent, neighbor, employee, confidant, etc. -- to bring out the best in others by being the kind of others can aspire to be. Think of how God partners with us: Even when we are not good, He is still good. Be someone that people can trust. You cannot do this if you are pursuing pleasure alone. Contributing well to others does not mean you never receive or “deduct” from the relationship; it simply means that you make “deposits,” as well. How do you handle the mistakes in relationships? Are you someone from whom others have to recover, or do you contribute meaningfully to those around you? Do you go to events expecting only to receive, or do you bring honor, encouragement, energy, positive emotion, patience, etc.? Is your primary focus on deducting or depositing? On your experience or the experiences to which you contribute? Are you willing to pursue virtue? What are the costs and rewards of that pursuit? How much does your pleasure cost others – even the pleasure of holding onto your own bad mood? What is the price of an addiction to you and to others, and what would be the costs and revenue of sobriety, for others and for you? What is your “aroma” – what is it like to be around you? How do people feel when you enter or leave the room? If your world is all about you, what does it cost others to interact with your world? Does your presence bring peace? Bringing peace does not involve pretense; it involves genuine confidence and the ability to give to others because you have been taking appropriate care of yourself. Bringing peace is possible even when confronting someone. It is not the same as telling people only what they want to hear, but it does involve considering how someone else experiences the conversation and not only what the conversation is like for you. Virtue is not always about being “nice,” though it is never cruel; it involves giving what is needed rather than what we simply want to discard during an interaction. “What you do matters,” states Cinthia, “not just down here, but for eternity.” We can go to heaven because of our belief in Jesus, but He also wants us to participate in the work of His Kingdom, partly just by the way we are with those around us. What are you doing with your words? Cinthia read an excerpt from Jesus Calling (March 1, 2020) that brought attention to what is created, destroyed, brought to life, or brought to death by all the words we speak. Do you simply say what you want to say and then shrug off or defend the impact? Why are we not thinking and being intentional with our...

Today Cinthia discusses the Wedding at Cana (John2:1-11) during which Jesus performed His first miracle on earth. The fact that Jesus performed His first miracle at a family event – a wedding, specifically – and at the request of a family member, has significance. The Bible calls Jesus the Bridegroom and the Church His Bride. God loves and values family, and we are His family. However, this account also shows us Jesus as a man (yes, also God, but still a man) and a son and family member. It gives great insight into gender issues, as well as our approach to God and His to us. So how did Jesus respond as a man to His female family member? Jesus, as a male human being with a male brain, gave an initial response that indicated the problem Mary described was not naturally significant to Him in His role as a wedding guest. Cinthia explored several translations and paraphrases of His response, all of which seemed to indicate that He did not see the problem as one He needed to solve as a human attending someone else’s wedding. He was not the one throwing the feast, and it was not yet time for His miraculous ministry as the Son of God. He basically said, “Right now, I’m just a man at a feast. What does this problem have to do with me?” Men often see things very differently than women do, and this is okay. Women can learn from Mary not to be hurt when a man does not initially see a problem in the same way she does. Mary went to Jesus, her son, and communicated about a very specific need. She told Him what the problem was, asking Him for help. She did not become wounded when He responded honestly. (Cinthia noted that men often say no first and relent later, while women often do the opposite.) Then she let Him solve it. She didn’t make several suggestions about the best way for Him to do this, when He needed to do it, etc. Mary shows us how to communicate with a good man. Having told Him specifically about the problem, she left the issue with Him and did not try to control the process; she just trusted that He would care about the fact that she was asking Him for help. And He did. Jesus saw that this problem, which may not have seemed relevant to Him as a Man or significant in the bigger picture, was important to Mary. He responded honestly to her about how He saw the problem, but, because it mattered to her, Jesus made it important to Him. He not only involved Himself in what mattered to Mary but did about it immeasurably more than she asked Him to do. Jesus showed us that God responds to us and cares about what is important to us. He may not always do things in the timing we initially request, but He does care and will give revelation about timing, significance, etc., when we talk to Him about the problem. As Mary went directly to Jesus, we need to go to God first, only then asking other people for help. Start with the vertical and only then proceed to the horizontal. Jesus also showed us here what it means to be a good man dealing with His family. Some things seem important to a woman that do not seem important to a man. Jesus gave Mary His honest perspective, but He did not try to talk her out of her need, nor did He belittle it. Jesus made the problem His concern because it was important to her, and He did more for her than she asked – giving more wine than was needed and making it of the highest quality -- because He valued her. This, explains Cinthia, is love. Cinthia continues, “Men, you are the leader, the protector, the provider, the covering. Follow the lead of your Savior, and help the women in your life. Make their lives easier [with] kindness, gentleness, mercy when you’re not understanding why this is so important to the woman that you love.” This first miracle revealed His glory, and His disciples believed in Him. They had been walking with Him for some time at this point, but, apparently, they had not yet fully believed in Him. You are in good company when you have trouble believing that God will do something....

Today Cinthia explains a tool she uses, one we all need in our heads: the ignore/delete button. This idea is a way of choosing not to dwell on actions (our own or those of others) that cause us to become overly or unnecessarily upset, judgmental, arrogant, self-loathing, or agitated. Cinthia likes to picture her ”button” in the back of her head so she can physically tip her head when she uses it – a physical exercise that uses muscle memory to help her reset her perspective. If this surprises you or sounds unhealthy, perhaps reminding you of denial, minimization, or acceptance of abusive behavior, understand that this is a selective tool; it is not meant for use on everything. The ignore/delete button is a gift from God, one that we learn to use by watching how He uses His own ignore/delete button. God always knows, always sees, always hears, always feels; He is aware. And yet He stays in relationship with His creation and manages not to kill us all instantly. How does He do this? Having provided for the atonement of our sins on the cross, how does He continue to handle a world that is not yet perfected? How does He stay in relationship with people that, even when redeemed, are sinful, immature, and sometimes just obnoxious? Cinthia explains that God is the Master of appropriate ignoring and deleting. There are some things He cannot ignore; the Flood, for example, happened because God could not ignore what was happening on Earth. Also consider Psalm 109. There are other things He ignores for now but address later in His timing. There are things He deletes in His forgiveness, not holding them against us forever, but does not ignore because He loves us too much not to address the things that harm us and others. And there are things He ignores and deletes, forgiving us and choosing not to openly and currently address every single sin we commit in the process of our lives on earth. God does not excuse or acquiesce to our sin, but He does cover us while we are in the process of overcoming sin in His strength. We, also, can hone the skills of appropriate ignoring and deleting. We can choose not to focus on the one small dot that mars the otherwise blank sheet of paper. We can enjoy sinful, annoying, unhealthy, compulsive, messed-up people, including ourselves, by selectively practicing the arts of ignoring and deleting. This can strengthen our relationships and free us not to make an issue out of every little thing. There are some things we should confront, and some information is helpful for addressing the situation. However, if we decide not to confront a particular situation, we can let the information go. We accept what we cannot change so we can allow for process while sin is being overcome and conquered. This is different from protecting sin itself. So how do we know what to ignore, what to delete, when to do both, and when to do neither? Cinthia offered some questions we can ask. For example, “Is this behavior unusual for the person, or is it a pattern?” I might be able to let go and simply move on from a one-time mistake, sin, comment, decision, etc. (e.g., becoming intoxicated one time), while it might be more important to address a pattern (e.g., drinking too much on a regular basis). “Do I know this person well enough to become involved in addressing the behavior?” Some behaviors and behavior patterns may merit action but still not be our business. “Is this the time to deal with the situation?” There may be some things we temporarily ignore but plan to address at a particular, more appropriate time. However, if I have to ignore and delete too many things in a very close relationship, I may have to reconsider the nature of that relationship. The ignore/delete button has many useful functions. It can be especially helpful in interacting with people whose value system is different from our own. Again, if we are not going to confront something, perhaps we should ignore and/or delete it rather than dwelling endlessly on...

What is your “Achilles Heel,” the weakness or “limp” that is always there in your life? Do you judge yourself for it, berate yourself for having it? Do you try to avoid it, chasing feelings that make it seem less painful for a while? Healthy self-esteem involves a balance, both for individuals and for society. We tend instead to swing back and forth on a pendulum, clinging to inferiority, then over-valuing our own good qualities. This is because we tend to cling to performance-oriented evaluations of ourselves and others, judging worth and value by achievements, accolades, approval, looks, accomplishments, etc. The key to getting off the pendulum is to learn that our worth is separate from our performance, that we are valuable because God made us on purpose and for a specific purpose. Secure in that knowledge, we then strive to be the best versions of ourselves, not to make ourselves worthwhile but to honor the One Who made us so well. Instead, we often try to meet our needs for self-value by “chasing a feeling.” We may berate ourselves, hoping to force change that will make us feel better about ourselves. But when we depend on the feelings that come from our accomplishments or the approval of others, we find them to be fleeting. We fear failure, exposure, rejection, increased self-loathing, etc. It is like trying to nourish ourselves on dessert or a diet of artificial sweeteners without laying a foundation of good nutrition to sustain us. This means that chasing good feelings ultimately creates bad feelings, leading to more self-judgment and pain and inspiring more feeling-chasing behaviors. We tend to believe the lies that match our emotional states. This can lead to tragic outcomes including suicide. Believing all our emotions creates a hellish experience, which we then try to fight with more perfection, feeling-chasing, etc. What do you do to try to meet the needs inside you? However, Jesus told His disciples that, by abiding in His word, they would know the truth and the truth would set them free (John 8:32). Truth frees us even when it is uncomfortable, unpleasant, and the opposite of easy. We must tell the truth to others and to ourselves. We are terrified of truth, but God wants to use it to heal us. God doesn’t tell mercy lies, but He has mercy on us by telling the actual truth to heal in order to heal us. Cinthia discussed “limps” of her own including an eating disorder that stemmed from her belief that she was not “good enough,” as well as her dream of being a performer, which she thought must be God’s design since it was her dream for herself. Instead, God used the truth to heal her: that He had made her and liked the way He had done so, that He wasn’t going to change His design of her to suit her, that she could enjoy who He made her to be or not, and, finally, that He had given her musical giftings and creativity as an “add-on” and not her primary mission in life. God tells us the truth because He cares. When we care about ourselves, we also address our weaknesses and discipline ourselves. We learn to recognize the fleeting nature of feelings. God doesn’t just want us to feel good. He wants us to know that He created us in a way we like and that He is sad that we don’t. What are you fighting within yourself? What are you fighting yourself about, and is it worth the effort? Are you being your own worst enemy, or are you being a true friend to yourself? About what do you constantly argue with yourself? What are you fighting for, and what are you trying to achieve? Are you fighting for yourself or against yourself? What do you talk yourself into and out of? What are you willing to fight for yourself to achieve? Don’t die for a feeling. Don’t give up over a feeling. Finally, Cinthia discussed an article by Cindy Rooy (Times News.net/living/faith/has-god-given-you-a-limp) and asked, “What is the limp that God has given you?” Jacob, notes Rooy, was self-sufficient and independent, but this wasn’t what God...

How much critical thinking really takes place in our society these days? How well does the average person think through a given issue, considering the premises involved and making decisions on the basis of sound reasoning rather than reacting simply out of emotion or unthinking loyalty to a party line? Our collective struggle to learn, develop, and use this skill has a huge impact on our judgment, which may explain why so many of us struggle to maintain an adult mentality, manage ourselves well, and do what is best for those who depend on us. Today Cinthia discusses the lost art of thinking critically about a subject and making decisions that actually make sense beyond the rhetoric. To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here! https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

You know that feeling that happens when you arrive home and get ready to go inside? It can be a wonderful feeling, a terrible one, or lots of things in between the two, depending on what it is like for you to live there. You also live inside yourself, inside your own body and head. When your distractions subside and you become more aware of your own internal environment, how do you feel about living inside of you? Today Cinthia discusses ways you can change your own internal environment, making the inside of your own head a place you don’t have to avoid. To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here! https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

The age-old idea of sacrifice involves giving up something that is valuable to us for the sake of something we value even more. Today Cinthia discusses the idea of looking past those things to which we cling and seeing what they actually cost us. Based on material from one of her earlier books, Cinthia asks the question, “What has to die in order for you to truly live?” What are you holding onto, and what is it choking out? What do you need to let "die" in order to see new life begin? To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here! https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

We know how practice works regarding an instrument, language, sport, or job skill: the little moments and long hours add up to create change that could never have happened without all the practice. But sometimes we forget that our other daily habits, big and small, are also practices, and those small repetitions add up to make the stuff of our lives. What habits of heart, mind, and body are you practicing, and what do you want to practice? Are the things you are doing today the things you want to shape your life and the lives of those around you? Join Cinthia to discuss practicing the things you truly want to perfect. To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here! https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Lots of people are pretty consistent about brushing their teeth because they know good dental hygiene is vital for improving and maintaining oral health. But many of us don’t know how to take care of our minds and emotions, a significant concern when we consider that mental health disorders are on the rise in our society. While lots of factors can impact mental health, good mental hygiene is something we can personally use to protect ourselves, care for ourselves, and contribute as effectively as possible to the world. Join Cinthia to discuss what it means to take care of the minds in which we live. To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here! https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Recently, we started talking about healthy competition, but there is so much more to say about it! Competition can be fun and may challenge us to strive for excellence, but it can also become a dumping ground for perfectionism, selfishness, relational aggression, arrogance, inferiority, and a general lack of contentment and fulfillment. Today Cinthia reviews some of the concepts she introduced last week and then moves into challenging our mindsets at a deeper level so we can compete in a healthy way and celebrate success – both our own and that of others! To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here! https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

You know that feeling that happens when you arrive home and get ready to go inside? It can be a wonderful feeling, a terrible one, or lots of things in between the two, depending on what it is like for you to live there. You also live inside yourself, inside your own body and head. When your distractions subside and you become more aware of your own internal environment, how do you feel about living inside of you? Today Cinthia discusses ways you can change your own internal environment, making the inside of your own head a place you don’t have to avoid. To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here! https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Competition is everywhere, from the football field to the freeway, from the playground to that phone call with family last week. When does friendly competition become threatening? Why do some people treat everything as a competition? And how can we compete appropriately without losing our joy to our own inner comparisons with others? Join Cinthia to discuss competing in order to improve ourselves, rather than to destroy others or fulfill an inner longing that winning cannot touch. To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here! https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Whether we deny it, dwell on it daily, or turn backflips to avoid thinking about it, the past can haunt us. What would it be like to face your past and make some decisions that help you move forward? To do what needs to be done so you are no longer defined by it? Today Cinthia discusses what it means to face your past in a healthy way and deal with it so it no longer deals with you. To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here! https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

Is there a legitimate need for vice in life? Life is hard, and it is easy to turn to vice to numb the pain. We may view our vices as anesthesia for our hurts and crutches for helping us get through life. Unlike crutches and anesthesia, however, our vices tend to move us slowly away from life and health rather than helping us do what is necessary to embrace those things. Today Cinthia explores what makes a vice, what function it serves, what it costs, and what other options exist for dealing with the pain of life. To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here! https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6

How do you think about your future? What do you dream, plan, or casually toss around in your brain? Whether we chart it all out mentally or simply put things off until tomorrow, we all give mental space to the time ahead of us. Today Cinthia explains that the way we think about ourselves and our future, as well as the way we interact with God about our future plans and the plans He has for us, make a huge difference. How will you think differently about tomorrow, today? To dive deeper into the message of each podcast, we've created a study guide for each episode. Download your FREE Study Guide here! https://www.cinthiahiett.com/services-6