Relationship Prescriptions with Dr. Carol

There are many reasons for and ways of becoming hard in our cruel world. You may think a hard heart is a good and protective thing. When harm or disappointment comes, a natural human response is to develop a tough and closed heart. But that also closes you off to the good things God intends for you and wants to work in you. Is there a way to cherish a soft heart in a tough world? Mother, writer, and teacher Charaia Rush is Dr. Carol's guest on this encouraging episode. They talk about how shame and pain can harden our heart, what a hard heart is and isn't, and God's process for softening our heart which opens us up to all His good things. Connect with Charaia Rush on her website, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram Find Charaia's book Courageously Soft: Daring to Keep a Tender Heart in a Tough World Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com. Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential message here.

If you've been wrestling with sexual "stuff," you may wonder things like, How did I end up this way? Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep trying harder and nothing seems to change? Why aren't my prayers working? How do I get out of this mess? In this conversation with Dr. Carol, counselor, author, and minister Jay Stringer explains why the details of your story, especially your sexual story, shine the light on the path to healing. He uses attachment theory to explain how we come to be where we are, including how our relationship with God is impacted. And he describes what is takes to find the path to wholeness and holiness. Find Jay Stringer on his website, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Check out the Sexual Attachment Conference Find Jay's book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com. Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential message here.

Transgender issues have become a hot topic in culture and in the Christian church. Is the cultural narrative missing the point, and if so, where? How can Christians address the distress those struggling with gender issues experience in a redemptive way? Dr. Carol's guest on this fascinating episode is Walt Heyer, who transitioned to living as a woman for eight years, and then de-transitioned back to his birth gender. Walt has now devoted his life and influence to helping others who are struggling with these issues. His faith and relentless pursuit of wholeness will inspire you. Check out Walt Heyer's website, and The Heyer Institute offering help to those struggling with gender issues, especially those who regret their transition Check out Walt's books Trans Life Survivors or A Transgender's Faith Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com. Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential message here.

In part one of last week's conversation, Dr. Carol described why information alone is not effective in bringing sexual wholeness, and why experiences and true connection is necessary. In part two, you'll hear what Dr. Carol Ministries has already been doing to help people grow into sexual wholeness, and some of the results. And you'll hear about the new kind of experience we are offering to help people bring Jesus into the places they need Him most, and how you - or a friend - can be a part of this. Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com. Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential message here.

There's an abundance of information available in regards to sexuality and relationships. But that information has not resulted in any lessening of sexual brokenness - in the culture at large or within the Christian church. Something is missing. In this first of a two-part conversation, Dr. Carol addresses that missing piece by discussing neurobiology, the way God created human beings with the need for intimacy (different from sex), and the process God uses to bring us to integration and wholeness. You'll understand what leads to true change, and why more information doesn't work. Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com. Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential message here.

If your marriage is difficult, when is it a character issue? And when is it the way someone's brain is wired? How do you respond with grace while protecting your sanity? Neurodiversity, in particular autism spectrum disorder, impacts human relationships deeply, especially marriages. On this episode Dr. Carol talks with Dr. Stephanie Holmes, psychologist and coach specializing in neurodiverse Christian marriages, about how understanding brain wiring provides perspective on living wisely in a difficult marriage, differentiating character issues vs. neurology issues, and provides an honest look at how to find a God-honoring way to function well. Find out more about Dr. Stephanie Holmes at her counseling website, and at Christian Neurodiverse Marriage or Facebook. Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com. Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential message here.

Same-sex attraction and homosexuality are hot-button issues both in culture and in the Christian church. But beneath the debates about behavior, as important as those are, there are deeper matters of the heart including the need for attachment and intimacy. How does that connect with what Scripture says about homosexuality? In this challenging and deep episode, Dr. Carol talks with Anne Edward about her own journey through lesbianism, the matters in her heart that led her out of that, and what it's looked like for her to follow Jesus and now minister to countless others wrestling with issues of broken sexuality and relationships. Connect with Anne Edward and Restored Hope Network on their website, Facebook, or YouTube. Check out the Leaning Into Jesus Together conference by Restored Hope Network coming this June. Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com. Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential message here.

Confused, emotionally exhausted, or feeling crazy or depressed about your marriage? These might be signs you are being impacted by narcissistic and emotional abuse. Narcissism is a loaded word in our contemporary culture. But how do you know if that's what you're experiencing is your imagination, or is truly toxic? Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recovery Center, has been dealing with individuals so affected for over 40 years. He joins Dr. Carol on this episode to provide a sobering picture of the suffering narcissistic and emotional abuse brings, and also to offer some wonderful guidance and hope for some steps to take next if this is you. Connect with Dr. Hawkins and the Marriage Recovery Center on their website, Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube. Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com. Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential message here.

Bad things happen even to good people. What happens in a person when they experience trauma or ongoing hardship? There's been a lot of talk in the last few years about trauma-informed care, PTSD, and such. How does all that integrate with faith in God and one's Christian experience? Dr. Shannae Anderson, licensed clinical psychologist, has been working in this field for over 25 years. She talks with Dr. Carol on this episode about integrating psychological trauma-informed care with the Holy Spirit's presence and work in a person's heart to bring healing, growth, meaning, and resilience. They talk about sexual trauma in particular, and also the role of the body of Christ in healing for people so affected. Find out more about Dr. Shannae Anderson on her website. Read Dr. Carol's article How to Experience God in Your Past Trauma Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com. Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential message here.

Culture has made many people believe you must have a happy sex life in order to be whole and fulfilled in life. The church has "Christianized" that idea, leading many to believe you are entitled to sex, especially if you're married. But countless Christian married people are finding that doesn't work out well. Author, husband, podcaster, and pastor Noah Filipiak talks with Dr. Carol on this episode about how feeling entitled to sex almost destroyed his marriage, and what he believes now. They talk about the belief some have that sex is the "prize" for getting married God's way, 1 Corinthians 7, handling one's sex drive in a God-honoring and spouse-honoring way, and more. Find Noah Filipiak on his website, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Check out the Beyond the Battle community Noah facilitates. Read Noah's book Beyond the Battle: A Man's Guide to His Identity in Christ in an Oversexualized World Noah's sermon based on 1 Corinthians 7 Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com. Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential message here.

How are you attempting to fill the empty places in your heart? If it's with sex, how's that working for you? And when it hasn't gone well, how do you find grace for your messy story? On this episode Dr. Carol talks with Matt and Laurie Krieg. Matt's a licensed therapist. Laurie is president of Impossible Ministries. Together they help people deal with issues around sexuality and marriage, including LGBTQ+ issues, in God-honoring ways. Here they share how they are living out grace in their own messy stories, and what it's been like to help other people do the same. Find Laurie Krieg on her website, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram Find Matt Krieg on his counseling page or Instagram Find their book An Impossible Marriage: What Our Mixed-Orientation Marriage Has Taught Us About Love and the Gospel Check out Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships And look around at all the supplementary resources at YourSexpectations.com.

Christians have questions about sex! But where do you go for the answers? Some questions have factual answers, but more often the questions have to do with deeper matters of the heart. In this challenging episode Dr. Carol responds to 10 questions YOU have asked, about all kinds of things - married sex, sexless marriages, single and sexual, porn, masturbation, different sexual practices, STDs, sex ed, and more. Yup, we're "going there!" And you'll want to find out more about Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships. If you're listening to this when it first airs, mark your calendar for TONIGHT, February 13, 8pm eastern/7pm central for our YouTube LIVE book launch party! We'll have giveaways, fun facts about sex, Christians, love, and relationships, answering your questions, and more.

The illusion that intimacy in marriage just "happens" may not even last as long as the wedding cake. Maybe the intimate connection between you was good but became broken, or maybe you've never had that strong of a connection. What are the practical steps for those who want more from their relationship to actually build true intimacy that lasts? Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith had to wrestle with that question in their own marriage. On this episode they talk with Dr. Carol about not only their story, but the practical framework they've developed to help couples at every stage of their relationship build (or improve) the foundation of safety, develop trust, and enjoy a deeper intimacy than they thought possible. Connect with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith on their website or Instagram. Find their book Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection That Stands the Test of Time Find out more about Dr. Carol's new book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships. Check out Dr. Carol's article What God Designed Intimacy in Marriage to be Like Don't forget to mark your calendar for next Tuesday, February 13, 8pm eastern/7pm central for our YouTube LIVE book launch party!

Tragically there are too many times when a spiritual leader uses their spiritual authority to perpetrate sexual harm and abuse on individuals under their care. The harm such victims experience is deep and long-lasting. And when these individuals seek help, the church's response has too often only added to their pain. In this sobering but enlightening episode Dr. Carol talks with Christian lawyer Boz Tchividjian about clergy sexual abuse in the Protestant church - a cause he has devoted a good share of his career to. Boz has worked for decades on behalf of those who have experienced sexual abuse, assault, and harrassment, and brings both courage and grace to this important conversation. Find out more about Boz Tchividjian's work on his website. If you have been harmed sexually in a religious context, please check out Restored Voices Collective. Check out Dr. Carol's article When You've Been Harmed in the Name of God Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential comment here.

Young people today are growing up in a very different world than adults did even a decade or two ago. For parents, teachers, pastors, and others who care about kids, it feels challenging to connect with them and help them become who they were created to be. Giving them facts doesn't nurture the creativity or leadership they need to develop. But what does? Dr. Tim Elmore, author, speaker, and founder of the Growing Leaders organization, joins Dr. Carol on this episode to talk about how adults can nurture kids to become creative and develop leadership in the way God has gifted them. Stories of other kids are an encouraging and powerful way to do this. Connect with Dr. Elmore on his website, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Find all the resources around his latest book I Can't Wait: 52 Stories of Kids who Changed Their World, or get it on Amazon. Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave a confidential comment here.

Do you find yourself struggling with people pleasing, unhealthy relationships, avoiding conflict, or trouble setting boundaries? Have you lost yourself along the way of trying to love those closest to you? Perhaps you're suffering and struggle to understand why. On this episode Dr. Carol talks with Courtney Burg about the family-of-origin dynamics that may set you up for codependency and ongoing dysfunction. And then you'll hear how to overcome your fear of setting boundaries, and what that looks like for a follower of Jesus. You can learn to love in ways that are wise and life-giving. Connect with Courtney Burg on her website, Facebook, or Instagram. Find Courtney's book Loyal to a Fault: How to Establish New Patterns When Loving Others Has Left You Hurting Check out Dr. Carol's article How to Find Your People When You Need Help Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. You can leave her a confidential message here.

Does trying to get your children to obey leave you frustrated and upset? And does it seem that if you clamp down harder, your kids only resist more? What if there were a way to help your kids want to "be good," know how to do that, and actually demonstrate a healthy godly character even when you're not watching? Dr. Kathy Koch from Celebrate Kids joins Dr. Carol on this episode to help you learn how to Parent Differently. She offers practical, relatable, and spiritually-related insights and strategies that focus on guiding and growing your kids so they develop character from the inside out to become who God created them to be. Connect with Dr. Kathy Koch on her website, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Find Dr. Koch's book Parent Differently: Raise Kids with Biblical Character That Changes Culture You may want to check out - and preorder - Dr. Carol's upcoming book Sexpectations: Reframing Your Good and Not-So-Good Stories About God, Love, and Relationships Dr. Carol loves to hear from you. Leave her a confidential message here.

It's the twelfth day of Christmas. We're celebrating Christmastide - 12 days of brief Scriptures and thoughts to let the message of Christmas nourish our heart and impact our lives. Your internal picture of God matters. That's perhaps the most important thing for 2024. The verse for today: "For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known." John 1:16-18

It's the eleventh day of Christmas. We're celebrating Christmastide - 12 days of brief Scriptures and thoughts to let the message of Christmas nourish our heart and impact our lives. What do YOU want for this year? Addressing our deepest desires matters - to your wellbeing, and to God. The verse for today: "The next day again John was standing with two of his disciples, and he looked at Jesus as he walked by and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. Jesus turned and saw them following and said to them, “What are you seeking?” And they said to him, “Rabbi” (which means Teacher), “where are you staying?” He said to them, “Come and you will see.” " John 1:35-39

It's the tenth day of Christmas. We're celebrating Christmastide - 12 days of brief Scriptures and thoughts to let the message of Christmas nourish our heart and impact our lives. What do you think God's goal for you is, for 2024? I think it's primarily for you to be WITH Him! The verse for today: "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is." 1 John 3:1-2