Where's the Lemonade?

This week, Darren and Paige join forces for the first cross-over episode of Embracing Digital Transformation and Where's The Lemonade. They talk about GenAI in the household and how it can help manage a big, complex family. Embracing the Future with Generative AI Generative Artificial Intelligence (GenAI) is not a thing of the future but a present reality that has been seamlessly intertwining with our lives, often without us even noticing. From streamlining business operations to making household management a breeze, GenAI has the potential to make our lives easier and more productive. Paige Pulsipher, the CEO of Our Home, emphasized this during a recent discussion. GenAI - A Personal Secretary? Do you recall the countless hours you've spent searching the web for the best theater play in a city? With GenAI, you could get the answer in just a few seconds. It's about more than providing information promptly; GenAI is interactive, making it more user-friendly. It understands complete sentences and specific descriptions and provides the information accordingly, without requiring you to tweak your language to fit an algorithm. Trusted Companion or Potential Deceiver? While GenAI makes life easier, Pulsipher highlights an important aspect - "trust, but verify." You entrust tasks and queries to GenAI, but it's equally crucial to verify the results it provides. A healthy dose of skepticism can prove beneficial in making the best use of this revolutionary technology. The ‘CEO of Your Household’ Gets a Digital Upgrade Running a large household or a successful business can be quite a task. Luckily, GenAI can assist with answers to specific queries, planning efficient schedules, and more. It could offer valuable insights and suggestions to help you manage your responsibilities more productively. GenAI is arguably the next step in the evolution of artificial intelligence. Capable of generating human-readable content and interacting seamlessly with users, GenAI is a game-changer in technology and productivity. As Pulsipher revealed through her experiences, a little trust and intentional interaction could significantly enhance our relationship with technology, simplifying our lives. Here's a call to action for all tech enthusiasts and those apprehensive about embracing technology. Why not give GenAI a try and experience the wholesome blend of ease, productivity, and innovation it brings? Additionally, feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with GenAI in the comment section below, and let's embrace this digital transformation together. Lemonade Moment of the Week Darren's Betta fish "ED-T" gets a new home, and he continues to stream his ED-T fish cam to help promote his other podcast, "Embracing Digital This Week." Check out the fish cam https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs_UlYlGAs0 That’s it for this post, but stay tuned for more insights, information, and entertainment. Don't forget to share this post and spread the word about the wonders of GenAI. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Darren and Paige delve into the topic of True Crime entertainment, including podcasts, documentaries, and books. They discuss the reasons behind the fact that women make up the largest demographic of listeners and viewers in this genre. Encountering Evil from Safety True crime stories echo our deepest fears and curiosities about the most disturbing aspects of human behavior. In a controlled and safe environment such as a book, a podcast, or a TV show, we become observers on the sidelines of evil, weighing in on the battle between right and wrong. Our fascination with these narratives, thus, could be understood as an exploratory mechanism - a means of understanding the extremes of the human psyche. The fight between good and evil has been a staple in story-telling for centuries. It allows us to confront our fears and anxieties about crime and punishment in a relatively safe environment without the direct threat of physical harm. By examining the mind of a criminal and witnessing their eventual punishment, we can vicariously experience the thrill of danger, all while huddled comfortably on our couch. Discovering the Dark Side of Human Behavior True crime stories also satisfy an inescapable curiosity about aberrant human behavior. What prompts someone to plot and commit a dreadful crime? Why would someone feel the justification – or even the entitlement – to cause harm or take lives? These narratives delve into the psyche of the criminals, offering us unique insights into the murkier side of human nature – an aspect that most of us would generally prefer to avoid contemplating. Understanding such boundaries of aberrant behavior also serves as a potent reminder of the thin barrier that separates civility from chaos. It's a stark homage to our capacity for good and a powerful reminder of the dark side that lurks within the spectrum of humanity. The Impact of Over-indulgence With an ocean of true crime content available, however, there's a risk of developing a skewed perspective of reality. Consuming an excessive amount of this type of content can generate a false impression that gruesome crimes are rampant, thus possibly inflating fear and anxiety levels. Maintaining a balance is key. Moderate consumption and an alternating between consuming a true crime series and lighter, more uplifting content are essential. Such balance can help avoid creating an atmosphere of paranoia or fear that can come with prolonged exposure to violent, gruesome content. The Charm of True Crime Our fascination with true crime is a mix of curiosity, fear, empathy, and the need to traverse the extremes of human behavior. True crime stories serve as a pathway, enabling us to experience the darker side of human nature vicariously and from a safe distance. They allow us to navigate the peripheries of danger without physical risk and force us to grapple with the unfathomable acts that some are capable of. Remember to watch in moderation and mix the viewing schedule to maintain a healthy balance! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Darren and Paige report on a trip with their 18 year old getting ready to graduate this spring. His last spring trip before we send him off to college in the Fall. Listen to their tips and tricks to travelling with teens in Europe. We all know that family vacations are meant to relax, unwind, and spend some quality time with our loved ones. But, how do you ensure a smooth and enjoyable trip when your travel companions are unpredictable, opinionated, and passionate teenagers? Based on the experiences of one family who recently traveled abroad during their spring break to Italy, we reveal some important tips that could make your next family overseas trip a lot easier. Involving Teens in Travel Planning: Fostering Excitement and Learning Traveling with teenagers is all about giving them a sense of ownership and understanding their unique perspectives and interests. This starts right from the planning stage. By involving teenagers in decision-making, you not only allow them to contribute meaningfully but also keep their enthusiasm and interest alive throughout the journey. Guiding them to form opinions about various options in different cities gives an opportunity for everyone to learn about new locations together. Keeping room for flexibility can ensure that the plans are adjusted as per the evolving interests and energy levels of young travelers. By doing this, you make them feel considered and in charge, reducing their possible resentment of being dragged into the trip. Handling Different Personalities: Striving for Balance Handling different personalities during a vacation is another challenge that requires both patience and strategy. Your stoic bookworm may want nothing more than to quietly immerse themselves in the intricacies of the local culture and history, while your fiery, outgoing teen could want to try everything the locale has to offer. The families who experienced these personality differences amongst their children when abroad highlighted the importance of personal space and independence. Allow your children the time and room to follow their own interests, within reasonable boundaries of safety and time. Allow them to play games, read books and even explore museums independently. This way, they can enjoy their vacation in their own ways. Optimal Vacation Planning: Balancing Preferences and Participation To foster an environment that encourages both - enjoying the moment and creating unforgettable memories together, it is necessary to ensure everyone's preferences are considered and everyone feels involved in the planning process. This family’s experience teaches us a significant truth - to have a memorable and enjoyable family vacation, especially with teenagers, it's important that we listen, compromise, and accommodate everyone's preferences and styles. The objective should be to create a balance between group activities and individual exploration. Traveling offers an excellent opportunity to bond with our children, understand them better, and make unforgettable memories together. Remember, the success of your family vacation largely depends on how open, flexible, and considerate you are during your travel planning and execution stages. Don't forget to involve your teenagers in the decision-making process and you will enjoy a smoother and memorable journey together. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In the world of blended families, navigating issues related to co-parenting adult children can be complex and challenging. Some familiar questions might center on the financial responsibility of each parent in relation to costs like college fees, health insurance, and other unforeseen expenses. This post examines the convolutions faced by co-parents, particularly with regards to shared-cost decisions and financial commitments to their adult children. Financial Responsibility and Legal Gray Areas The transition of children from dependents to independent adults sometimes leaves co-parents in gray areas regarding who pays for what. For instance, health insurance is a significant aspect that often falls into this gray area. Under Obamacare, children can retain their health coverage under their parent's insurance until they are 26. This is a great relief for parents who, like Darren, incurred no additional cost in providing health insurance for their older children. However, the issue of who should handle unexpected medical bills is more complex. A real-life example shows that deciding who should foot the bill can be contentious when an adult child falls sick while visiting one parent. These kinds of situations can cause disagreements and stress for both parents and the young adult. Therefore, the need for clearly delineated responsibilities in such scenarios is very apparent. The Shared Cost Concept The challenges encountered in dealing with unexpected bills for grown-up children may require parents to rethink the tenets of sharing costs. A couple of questions arise in such situations. For instance, do both parents have equal decision-making rights? And does who pays what influence these decisions? These issues can be pretty knotty, with the child often stuck in the middle of the confusion. As Paige discovered, the problem of how to split costs for adult children among divorced couples needs to be more well-researched. An apparent solution is to specify how to share financial responsibilities for adult children in the divorce decree. Despite its obvious benefits, the downside to this idea may be its potential to hinder the young adult's drive towards financial independence or completion of college. Maintaining Financial Integrity among Co-parenting Adults Recognizing that co-parenting doesn't necessarily end when a child turns eighteen is critical. More than ever, co-parents must set clear boundaries and communicate effectively about their financial responsibilities towards their adult children. Doing so removes any ambiguity and reduces the chances of misunderstanding. As Paige emphasizes, drafting these boundaries can help keep the young adult away from the potentially negative impacts of financial disputes. Conclusion Navigating financial responsibilities toward grown-up children as co-parents requires a delicate balance. Parents must consider fostering their children's independence while maintaining fairness and equity in shouldering expenses. The entire process is a learning experience, but ultimately, it underscores the need for clear communication and mutual understanding among co-parents. Lemonade Moment of the Week We went to Texas to see the total eclipse. The skies were covered in clouds, and we thought we were not going to see the eclipse after all. Then, the clouds parted just in time, and it was cloudy again right after the eclipse. We were ready to find lemonade even if we didn't see the eclipse. One cute baby made the trip-- totally worth it! Links https://newdirectionfamilylaw.com/blog/child-support/what-happens-when-a-child-of-divorced-parents-turns-18/ Outline * Typically when kids turn 18 and graduate from high school, child support and co-parenting ends. What is in your divorce decree for when the kids turn 18? Is that important to add? * Just David left at home. Still has a custody schedule. What about when college kids come home? Do they follow the schedule? What about next summer after our...

For this episode, Darren and Paige discuss strategies for cultivating a supportive atmosphere in personal relationships. They highlight the importance of active listening, respecting personal space, regular check-ins, physical affection, self-care, and effective communication in maintaining a healthy and supportive relationship. Through their conversation, they provide insights on how to overcome common relational challenges and foster a nurturing environment in personal relationships. # Cultivating Supportive Atmosphere in Relationships In the ever-evolving digital world where distractions abound, maintaining the role of a supportive partner can often present itself as a challenging pursuit. However, based on insights from a recent podcast addressing this common relational adversity, this blog post intends to outline strategies for fostering a supportive environment in personal relationships. The Value of Active Listening A critical virtue highlighted during the discussion is active listening. This practice entails more than just hearing the words spoken by the other person. It requires one's full concentration on the speaker, thereby nurturing an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding. Simple habits such as putting your phone aside during conversations and engaging in eye contact signify your willingness to engage in active listening. Respecting Personal Space Preserving personal space is another crucial aspect of sustaining a healthy relationship. This aspect involves mutually understanding and respecting each other's personal areas. Unclear about when your significant other may need some space? Simply asking them can shed light on this matter. Importance of Regular Check-ins Frequent 'check-ins' or short, casual conversations about each other's day or emotional state help in enhancing connection and understanding in a relationship. The benefit of these check-ins is not solely felt during challenging times but also serves as a tool to foster closeness and cultivate trust on ordinary days. Physical Affection The conversation also touched upon the role of physical affection in relationships. While not all individuals appreciate physical affection, for those who do, expressing love through physical touch offers comfort, diminishes stress levels, and reaffirms the bond of love and care. Physical affection isn't merely restricted to sexual intimacy; it also encompasses gestures such as holding hands, cuddling, and hugging. The Need for Self-Care A healthy relationship does not solely revolve around meeting your partner's needs. Rather, it also involves acknowledging and addressing your needs. Attaining balance between these two aspects is vital for the longevity of the relationship. Notably, communicating your boundaries to your partner can inhibit the possibility of resentment building up in the long run. Communication: The Key Above all, the necessity of effective communication in successful relationships was underscored. As long as partners keep the channels of communication open and reach out to each other during times of distress, any hurdles encountered can be resolved. A supportive relationship essentially involves an equal measure of giving and taking. This balance, intertwined with respect and understanding, fosters a nurturing atmosphere of mutual support. Remember, being supportive also includes allowing your partner to be your rock during tougher times. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

As Paige was searching for a current event to talk about this week, she kept seeing in the news and on social media the debate about plane etiquette. Even Paige and Darren disagree on some plane etiquette. Let’s delve into what the “rules” are for flying. ## Middle seat gets dibs on the armrests The middle seat sucks. You’re constantly worried about encroaching on your neighbor’s side, fearing you’ll fall asleep and drop your head on their shoulder. For this reason, the person in the middle seat gets dibs on the armrests. ## Stand up to let your neighbors through Don’t do the half lift; it's awkward to lean back. Stand up, unbuckle your seatbelt, and wait in the aisle until your neighbor returns. It’s a good excuse to stretch your legs at the same time. ## Keep your belongings to yourself I still remember trying to push someone else’s shoes back onto ‘their side’. Yes, there’s not a lot of room, but manage your belongings and keep them in the pocket of your seat, under the seat in front of you or stowed overhead. ## Say hello, but read the room It’s always nice to greet your neighbor but gauge whether they want a conversation. Earphones generally mean they have zero interest in chatting. ## Don't recline on short-haul flights Unless you want your neighbor’s coffee or meal to end up in their lap, be mindful and resist reclining on short-haul flights. I know it’s tricky when the person in front of you reclines; it often creates a domino effect with everyone reclining to create more space. But think about that person in the last row who can’t recline at all. It’s 6 hours or less, suck it up. ## Odorless food only The rules of the office microwave apply on the plane. No tuna, pungent curries, or oozy cheeses – save anything smelly for your home. ## Have all your stuff ready before the plane lands We all want to desperately get off the plane and you have hours to get your stuff together. Don’t hold everyone up and decide to pack your belongings after the plane lands. Get it done before the descent. ## Wait your turn to exit the plane Don’t you love it when people from the last row jump up and try to get as far ahead as possible? Getting your bag from above becomes impossible because everyone is blocking the aisle. Just wait till your aisle is up to grab your bag and exit. ## Just be nice We’re all in the same confined space together so let’s just all get along. Be respectful of the crew and fellow passengers, and we’ll all have a more pleasant journey. ## Lemonade Moment of the Week Paige goes to Disneyland with her siblings. Sibling Rivalries popup and they have fun reliving childhood memories. https://www.delicious.com.au/travel/travel-news/gallery/10-plane-etiquette-rules-everyone-should-know-before-boarding/uhpb48u4?page=10 ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Is your marriage stuck in a rut?? Darren and Paige have been talking recently about being stuck in a rut, kind of bored, and very predictable. When they aren’t traveling or at something for the kids, they watch a show. Until the show ends, they are in a show hole. Or they go out to dinner, but what else can you do… A few weeks ago, they would go out on a date. Paige made 2 jars with restaurants to take the “where should we go” out of it. Then Paige had an idea for a date. Head to Kohls and you each pick out two outfits for each other to try on, something you would like to see your partner in (Paige said no lingerie). Then they went into a big dressing room and had a lot of fun trying on clothes together and seeing what each other would pick out. What else can we do to not be bored: Could you ask yourself why you feel bored? -It's important not to try to fix boredom but to consider the reason behind your feelings. You can take responsibility for changing. - Now that you’ve assessed the issues around why your marriage has become stale, maybe it's time to make a change. Babysitter for young children, dinner, day trip, weekend getaway. Make it your job to think outside the box and step out of the ordinary. Consider what you used to do when you weren't bored. - When you first got married, you probably made eye contact in conversation and focused on one another. Sometimes, familiarity needs to be revisited. There are emotions and stories that only you share. You can take a trip down memory lane. Be Spontaneous. Change up your routine. Have a picnic. Instead of turning on the TV, turn on some music and dance. If you are bored with your routine, change it. You do that when you decide to be spontaneous. You can start a new habit together. To avoid a boring marriage, it might be time to do something exciting together. Maybe decide to make one day a week special, like Milkshake Monday. Take a class together. Grow and learn together. The article used in the podcast. https://www.markmerrill.com/5-things-boring-marriage/ ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Darren & Paige, the hosts of "Where's the Lemonade?" recently sparked debate with their episode discussing whether leaving young kids unattended is okay. While opinions vary on appropriate ages and circumstances, most agree child maturity levels differ. This complex issue has many gray areas. Viral Story Prompts Discussion The conversation began when co-host Darren read a viral story about a woman who spotted two young siblings left alone for an extended time at SeaWorld while the parents rode rollercoasters. This prompted the hosts to explore whether this constitutes neglectful parenting or a reasonable level of independence. Cultural and Generational Differences Darren and Paige note that attitudes toward leaving kids unattended vary by culture. Some countries like Finland commonly go babies outside in strollers alone. They speculate whether American parents are overly cautious due to heightened abduction fears. As kids themselves decades ago, their parents likely had different standards. Data Diving: Child Abduction Statistics While kidnapping stories spread quickly online, data reveals stranger abductions are extremely rare. Out of thousands of missing child reports yearly, only 20-30 are actual abductions, per FBI statistics. Accurate information could reshape societal views on acceptable parenting choices. State Laws and Judgment Calls Most states allow parents discretion, with no set ages dictating readiness. The hosts agree each child matures differently, so fixed rules are unwise. While vigilance is vital, granting needed independence should be weighed carefully rather than judged harshly. Open minds and compassion for others allow thoughtful discussion on this complex issue. Lemonade Moment of the week The boys are headed back to school, which gives more structure to our lives, but we are also losing another kid to College this year. We will miss having Madeline around. Links https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kidnapping_in_the_United_States#https://www.pennlive.com/news/2019/07/attempted-abductions-by-strangers-is-very-rare-expert.html ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We just had a wedding!! Julianne and Boyd were married this past weekend and it made us think about the balancing act that they had to do between 3 different families. How can we help them in their balancing act? There are always going to be big events that you have to attend with your coparent and possibly a significant other. How can we make this easier on the kids? Over time this evolves too. It can also ebb and flow depending on your relationship with your ex. Polite and friendly should be the very least you should do. Dear Mom and Dad, The operative word here Mom and Dad is My events. You are a guest here and I ask you to act accordingly. My events include but are not limited to: 1. My teacher’s conferences. 2. My athletic events. 3. My musical recitals. 4. My birthday party. 5. My school plays. 6. My school graduations And later 7. My Prom 8. My going to college 9. My wedding So here are some guidelines which I ask if you can’t follow, best you postpone coming until you can. Your Divorce, My Event My life outside my family’s divorce is very important to me. It is also what keeps me sane in this world called “figuring out two houses by myself.” Whenever I play soccer, I only want to focus on playing soccer. If divorced parents come to watch our games, I don’t want the two of you to stand out. I also prefer you don’t rush to bring your latest “squeeze” and I won’t be able to tell you my preference. When you both have new people in your life, Dad I don’t want you to call Mom’s BF a Pr$%^& and Mom I don’t want you to call Dad’s GF a Wh)(&^*. Yes, this has happened to other kids way too often. If you use my events to vent your anger at each other, I suffer the most. I am embarrassed, ashamed, and I let my team down because I can’t focus on the game. Keep your divorce out of my events! Don’t use my events for your anger. Be concerned about me! Whenever you come to my teacher’s conference remember why you are there. Hopefully, you are there to see how I am adjusting to being the child of divorced parents. My teacher’s conference is not a place for you to compete for who is being a better parent. Ask my teacher how she thinks I am doing and what you can do to be a better parent for Me! My teacher’s conference is an opportunity for you to find out about my welfare. It is an opportunity for you both to make my life easier by listening to my teacher’s recommendations. Respect Me! My school graduations, music recitals, school plays, and even my birthday are my events. Therefore, Once again you are a guest! Ask me if I have any requests from you. Do I care if you sit together or apart? Let me know who is bringing me and who is taking me home. If you have feelings about any of the logistics, work it out with your therapist. I understand if I have one or two contentious divorced parents you will always sit away from each other. Don’t scream or yell at each other it is my event. Never try to make me feel guilty if I hug both of you and am nice to both of you. Don’t tell me I can’t say Hi to my other parent or even try to keep me from greeting my other parent. Yes, this also happens all too often to kids. Once again remember this is an important event for me. Remember it is not about either of you! Move On The more you do your inner work and move on from the divorce the better things will be for me. I don’t want to be your confidant. I have to figure out love after going through the trauma of my parent’s divorce. And, I cannot figure out your love life so zip it. When I go off to college, leave home, get married, and/or all the normal things people do, I expect you both to be focused on what I need not each other and your unfinished business. By the time I get married and I have to figure out how to handle two families to my finances one please understand. Divorce doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Divorce doesn’t have to be the most traumatic event of a child’s life. When parents divorce as adults, get...

Darren and Paige have heard about Nacho parenting and always thought it was definitely not for them, but they only had heard about extreme Nacho parenting. After a dive into what it really is, Paige is not totally against it; she can see why some families would adopt this type of parenting in a blended family. So let's take a look. Definition of “Nachoing”: People often ask, what is Nachoing? The Facebook response is usually “Nacho Kids, Nacho Problem.” Well, not quite. The stepkids can definitely be a problem for you. It’s “Nacho Kids, Nacho Responsibility.” The stepkids are not the responsibility of the stepmom/stepparent. The Nacho Kids method is a philosophy and methodology for blended families that consists of proven techniques and strategies, the psychology of human interaction, the mind, personalities, personal life experiences, and a track record of positive client results. “Nachoing” as it is often referred to as, or using the Nacho Kids method, is stepping back from situations that cause you and/or your blended relationship stress and realizing when you feel you have “no control,” you actually have the ultimate control. And that is how you let it affect you. Nachoing is to: • Treat the stepkid as you would a friend’s kid. • Allow the bio parent to parent their own kid as they deem fit. • Not engaging in negative and unhealthy interactions with the stepkids. • Act as a babysitter in the absence of the bio parent. • Say nothing about, or to, the stepkids unless it’s sheer praise. • Remove the target off your back and no longer be the “bad guy.” • Have no interaction with your significant other’s ex (the other bio parent). • Let go of the things you cannot control and realize the ultimate control is to control how you let these things affect you. • Help the stepkid if they ask you for help. That help can be by responding with, “Go Ask Your Dad.” A breakdown of the Nacho Kids method: • Understanding you are not their mom legally, biologically, nor through osmosis or a genie in a bottle. They have a mom and a dad, and you are neither. • Learning how to step back from the chaos. • Identifying your personal triggers, the roots of those triggers, and how to avoid/cope with “unhealthy” interactions. • Understanding why the blend is so hard and how even our minds play against the blend being successful. • Focusing on your blended relationship or marriage, not the stepkids or your significant other’s ex. • Being supportive of your significant other in their parenting role. It’s their job to parent. It’s your job to be their partner. • Creating the “stepparent” role that works best for you and your blended family. • Re-engaging with the stepkids in the role you designed to fit your blend! Lemonade Moment of the Week: Great trip with the kids to Italy. Hard time adjusting the the time change when they got back. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Ok, so we all hear the saying, "Don't go to bed Angry." You probably hear this marriage advice at almost all weddings or bridal showers. Is it that important not to go to bed angry? Paige does not subscribe to this myth at all. Just the opposite. She feels that going to sleep during an argument is like a time-out. And then, when you wake up, it doesn’t seem nearly as bad. On the other hand, Darren would love to hash it out until it’s all resolved and then go to bed since he usually doesn’t sleep if he is in an argument. One of the reasons that they say not to go to bed angry is because it’s typically difficult to sleep if you are angry. But what could be worse than going to bed angry is staying up and arguing... Here's what might happen if you stay up and argue: 1. Become more tired. 2. Think less clearly. 3. Get angrier the later it gets. 4. Get more triggered. 5. Say worse things. 6. Get more hurt. So instead of fixating on trying to get thru this fight so that you can get to bed, focus on what would help calm the situation down. Focusing on calming the energy will help you reduce the chance you'll get to bed angry and reduce the fighting. In 85% of couples, one person is the pursuer, and the other is the distancer. There’s no crime in being either. Pursuers look to “finish the discussion” to reduce relationship distress. Distancers use the strategy of pausing an argument and using natural decay of energy to reduce distress. Work on the Calm. If the argument isn’t getting resolved and you’re going in circles, try to pause the situation and resume at an agreed-upon time to check-in. This does not mean you are just sweeping the argument under the rug; you still need to discuss whatever upset you, but give it a minute to calm down. This is a complex skill to learn, pausing, but it can be helpful with some effort. This might not work for everyone, some might want to keep going at it, but I say, get some sleep and some distance! Lemonade moment of the week - Julianne and Boyd are getting married, and the rehearsal dinner is out of the house, accelerating the "honey-do" list to 6 six weeks instead of 3 years. Links: https://www.heartfeltcounselingmn.com/blog/2020/1/30/marriage-myth-dont-go-to-bed-angry ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Let's start with a frequently asked question in divorced households: When my child goes to their dad’s house, he has different rules. When they come home, they think they can do whatever they want. I am tired of the battle. How can I help them adjust to the different house rules? This is a brilliantly asked question about a common problem in divorced households. The question is not, “How can I get my ex to parent like me or to agree with me?” By the way, if you ask your ex to do this, they will most likely NOT just because it's you asking. But the question is, “How can I help my child adjust between the two homes?” Brilliant. This is not focusing on your ex, which you have no control over; this is focusing on your child. The answer is complicated… Managing the different rules, expectations, and personalities is challenging for the entire family. This can be highly emotional, and there’s likely to be some conflict as you figure out what works best for you, your child, and her father. But you can help your child understand and respect the different expectations of each parent without battles while still enjoying the time she spends with both of you. The article we are referencing for this topic talks about perspective and how it starts with YOU. Perspective Think about your attitude and how you are responding to this situation. If you— understandably—feel angry or stressed, your child will likely feel this way, too. Your words, tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language all communicate how you feel. Try to take the perspective of your child’s father {or mother). For example, like other divorced fathers, he may try to make up for the divorce by letting her do whatever she wants, so there is little conflict while they are together or by buying gifts to compensate for the loss. If you understand your child’s father’s motives, it may make this situation more manageable. Whether or not you and your child’s father can work on this together, the task for you is to help your child—as you put it—“adjust between the different house rules.” • Ask your child questions encouraging a back-and-forth conversation, not just a yes or no answer. Ask: “How does it feel to have different rules at your dad’s and my house?” The more your child talks about her feelings, the better she can understand and respond to other people’s points of view. • Set boundaries about the rules. Although your child may like one set of rules better than the other, it’s best to be direct about the fact that the rules are different, and it is her responsibility to follow both sets of rules. • Consistency and Follow Through. Keep your rules consistent, and follow through with the consequences you have decided on. Your child depends on you to stay reliable even if things feel unstable. • Focus on the Positive. If you focus on the negative or get into battles, try reinforcing positive actions by commenting on them, like: “It was so helpful that you threw the trash into the wastebasket!” • Assess Yourself. If you are upset about your child’s not following your rules, ask yourself what you expect of her and of yourself. Step back and look at your perspective. Are your expectations realistic? For example, maybe your child can’t finish all her homework at her father’s house. See if you can reach a compromise that works for all of you. Make a plan together: This is the most critical strategy to use. When you and your child engage in a problem-solving process together, you help her learn to gain Executive Function skills. Executive Functions are the skills we use to manage our thoughts, feelings, and behavior to achieve goals. Studies have found that when children develop Executive Function skills, they are more likely to thrive now and in the future. Determine the problem. Explain to her that you often battle each other and want to devise better management methods. • Talk with her about what’s most challenging for her transitioning from one home to...

March 2020 was the beginning of a new reality for most of us—kids at home, adults at home, adult kids at home, everyone at home. As time passed, kids went back to school, but many adults continued working from home, which could be a significant change for many of us. There are so many good things about parents being at home, there for the kids, and there to help with the kids; when kids are napping, one parent can be at home while the other runs errands, so they have more time together. Some things may need improvement about both parents being at home, roles requiring clarification, and maybe too much time together. Seeing each other every day, all day, and all night might get annoying and on each other's nerves. Let's talk about how to cope with spending so much time together. Don’t hold grudges: When you are constantly together, the only way to get through the day is to either spill or let it go. Always remind yourself to let go of things that aren’t important. If something is bothering you, take a minute and talk about it. Make time for each other: I know this sounds silly when you spend every day with each other, but you still need quality time together. Plan something fun to do, not just the mundane that is life. Play a game, go for a walk, go out to eat… Compromise: Spending so much time together, there are going to be things that you are struggling with that your partner is doing. You have to discuss these things and devise a compromise so you don’t go crazy on each other. Maybe it's something as small as you feeling like you are constantly checked up during the day; compromise might be staying in different sections of the house until certain times, like lunch. It might be as simple as changing your approach, but discuss it and meet in the middle. Admit when you're just fed up: Sometimes, we are in a bad mood and need space. Everything the other person does gets on your nerves; you need space. Let the other person know you are having a bad day so they can be more sensitive and not take too much personally. Time Out: Be honest if you need some time alone. Don’t just be grumpy and out of sorts with each other; take time for yourself. Go for a walk by yourself, play pickleball with friends, read a book, watch a show you want to watch all by yourself, whatever you need for a few hours to get away from each other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder…does it?? I hope these tips help you cope with so much time together. Please send us any suggestions you might have. Lemonade moment of the week: Paige is out of town, so Darren is busy re-doing the laundry room. Links: https://www.bustle.com/wellness/too-much-time-togetherhttps://www.lovearoundme.com/blog/too-much-time-together-leads-to-an-unhealthy-relationshiphttps://twogetlost.com/how-cope-spending-time-with-partner ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

When a relationship is new, you see the world through rose-colored glasses. Everything is fresh and new. As you look at each other, you see someone who is exciting and perfect. Even the world around you seems brighter and happier than before you found each other. In that “new” stage of a relationship, it’s easy to say loving things to each other. Those sweet words come naturally when you are together and then via text or phone at all hours of the day and night apart. Over time, however, things start to change. Challenges occur, and flaws emerge. The rose-colored glasses come off, and reality sets in. This is when love begins to morph a bit. Saying loving things toward each other takes a bit more effort. Love takes more effort, but practice makes perfect! As you weather storms together, you develop a more profound love and appreciation for each other than ever before. If you’ve been out of that “new” stage for a while and need some ideas to freshen your love up, here we go: Do not let one day pass without saying loving things like these to your partner. Always ensure your spouse feels appreciated, validated, safe and secure with you. Pick several short phrases to say daily, and soon you’ll feel more loving toward each other. Lemonade moment of the week Paige and Darren attend the youngest of their children's swim meet in the snow!!! Links https://www.verywellmind.com/simple-phrases-keep-you-in-love-4060485 ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This week Darren and Paige asked their listeners to submit questions that we have not addressed on the show. Some of these questions were hard to answer but we did it anyway. Check out the questions below. Have you been able to stay friends with other couples who had previously been friends with you & your ex? If so, have those couple friends become friends with you & your new spouse? I am always interested in how couples attack the money issue…. I would say that is the hardest part of a marriage, I think kids are the hardest part of a marriage also without kids around what would there be to argue about except for money! What was the main motivation to decide to jump into the dating scene again after your divorces? Weren't you scared of getting into a relationship again? Especially with someone who was also divorced? How did you tell your kids and how did they respond when you told them you were getting remarried and they were going to have to live with step siblings etc? How hard was that? What advice would you give to someone just very recently divorced? What thoughts, attitudes, or actions help things to go well. Or, with hindsight, what things do you wish you had done differently? Any good survival tips for the frustration times during and early after? What advice do you have for someone who is a friend watching someone they love go through a divorce? How did you both deal with being in the same ward and church with Darrens ex? Lemonade Moment of the Week This week we went to Yosemite to take in the beautiful waterfalls and incredible views. After a great morning hiking to Vernal Falls, we decided to head over the Yosemite falls and then El Capitan. We hoped in the car and saw a line of cars blocking our way out of the Park. A rockside blocked the road out of the park. We took a detour to Currey Village for a two hour lunch to wait for the traffic to clear. Traffic appeared to be moving so we hopped in the car and headed out of the park. Four hours later we left the park, with great memories of the Park. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Are we saying the wrong things to our kids about the divorce??? Probably!! We think we are saying good healthy things to help our kids thru the divorce, but are we? I know we are just human and we are trying our best. But it is hard, we are stressed, emotional and have never been thru this before, so we are struggling to say the right things and hope that we are. We want to have our kids get thru this devastating life changing with as little trauma as possible. Our research department found information from psychologists on what are some phrases we are saying to our kids that we need to stop! I guarantee that we have and maybe still are saying some of these. Lets dig in: Nix the “your”. Say instead – There are ways to explain divorce that is less abstract. You could even mention people they know who are divorced. something “Children have active imaginations and can conjure many scenarios that have nothing to do with the cause of the divorce,” she tells us. “It’s not about you” also negates the fact that the divorce very much involves your kids, which, Dr. Rubenstein explains, can wind up complicating your child’s feelings and experiences and what they’re willing to share with you. Say instead – You can explain that mom and dad are not getting along and don’t feel they can resolve it. Grown ups have adult issues that sometimes cannot be solved, as hard as they try. “ Say instead – Acknowledge that this is really, really hard on everyone! That your decisions was a last resort made to have the children grown up in a home without fighting or discord. “ – Say instead – Emphasize that they will get more quality time with each parent individually. Get them excited about decorating a new room. Get their feedback on their new accomodations. “ Say instead – Be honest that things will change, but that change is sometimes good. Yes they will miss certain traditions of family structures, but play up the realistic advantages they can expect. They will model your behavior and reactions in the face of change and learn resiliency. Lemonade moment of the week Valentines Day auction adds more neighbor kids. Links: https://www.purewow.com/family/divorced-parents-phrases-stop-saying?utm_source=flipboard&utm_medium=referral ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

The first year of blending families can be pretty tricky and downright horrible. In this episode, we talk about the challenges of throwing two families together and how we dealt with the obstacles we ran into. Listen to this Episode Love does not conquer all. Logistics of a blended family Marriage counseling and other help got us through it. Lemonade Moment of the Week Darren and Paige head to Las Vegas, to catch some shows and brave the strip with all the craziness. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

The week after Christmas was boring…. saying. At the beginning of a marriage, everything feels new and exciting. You've got romantic date nights planned for weeks, and what may become future annoyances are just endearing little quirks that make you love your spouse even more. But unfortunately, that honeymoon stage won't last forever. Eventually, things are going to simmer down, and you might even find yourself feeling, well, bored. You can start feeling that marriage is more like a routine than a relationship. Fighting the Monotony Luckily, that feeling doesn't mean your marriage is doomed. All it means is that you might need to devote more time and energy to making things exciting again. Let's talk about what might be adding to the monotony of your marriage: You don’t surprise each other. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, but finding ways to surprise your spouse, whether a gift or a thoughtful act, can keep your marriage fresh. “What do you and your partner need to feel loved?” Make sure your surprises match their needs and personality. Sharing too much or not enough. You need to share more with your partner, OR you are joined at the hip! You need to bond with your partner and be vulnerable. Sharing can be the exchange of information, emotions, and experiences. Try discussing some of your fav shared experiences. It will remind you of great times and give you ideas. On the other hand, you need to be your person. Couples who spend too much time together can quickly start to feel bored. Find new hobbies of your own and have experiences away from your spouse sometimes. Then share about those. Technology is consuming you. Ok, people. Get off your phones!! This is for us as well. To avoid “phubbing,” institute some phone free time each day. Be present!!! Your not putting energy into your relationship. We initially go through our romantic stage, but a few years in, that can start to ebb a little. You need to reinvent and rekindle your relationship constantly. Be more deliberate about giving your marriage the care and attention it deserves, even after the butterflies die. Your not setting goals for your relationship. It's pivotal to establish new goals to strive for. If not, you’re bound to feel unenthused about the future. Supporting and encouraging each other – whether solo or as a couple – increases love. “Happiness comes from moving toward what you want, not necessarily getting it.” We are too routine. Having a humdrum daily routine can make any relationship feel boring. Try new restaurants, new hobbies, and new places to visit. Get out of your comfort zone. Help available There are a lot of other examples in the articles of why we are bored and how to alleviate the boredom. We will keep you posted on how we are doing. Lemonade moment of the week I enjoyed visiting family and grandkids. At my aunt's 80th birthday party, I saw many cousins we hadn’t seen in a while. Fun dancing! Not boring!! Links this Week Boring Marriage TipsMARRIAGE MONOTONY: REDUCING RELATIONAL BOREDOM ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Darren and Paige have been thinking a lot about 2023. There is so much uncertainty in the future right now. Darren has had a lot of luck with his work and will continue this year. They have had friends lose their jobs, friends waiting to see if they will lose their jobs, companies changing their compensation packages, the economy is slow simmering into a recession…a lot of uncertainty. This brings a lot of anxiety and worry. The article referenced for this podcast says anxiety is our organic coping mechanism for lack of control and information. But at a certain point, anxiety about something we will never be able to control is unhelpful and even harmful. So What Can We Do??? Techniques for Coping with Uncertainty: Identify and tune out unproductive worrying "Productive worries tend to lead to actions that give us more control of our environment, whereas unproductive worries make us feel even more anxious and uncertain (thus leading to a vicious cycle)," Aldao explains. With this in mind, try to differentiate how much of your worrying is productive (ensuring enough food in the house) versus unproductive (staying up all night thinking about worst-case scenarios). If you can do nothing about it, it's not yours to worry over. Something to note: Simply "tuning out" worrisome thoughts is not easy, especially for a very anxious person. That said, taking a step back and recognizing what is and isn't worth the worry can be a helpful first step. Practice Mindfulness Not our thing. It says to Feel the Chair under your butt, appreciate the texture of the food as you chew, and note the sensation from going hungry to satisfied… Okie Dokie. Develop habits and routines for a sense of control. We need structure and management on a smaller scale. Hold yourself accountable with daily exercise, changing out of PJs, and trying new recipes. Set up an activity calendar for work and fun and stick to it as much as possible. It will help with your low moods. Focus on Gratitude Find that silver lining!! Perspective is so important!! Seek out Humor Watch a funny tv show or game night with friends; humor is here and now. Takes our minds off the future and uncertainty. Don’t rely on temporary distractions Don’t fill the void of uncertainty with escapist behaviors, drinking, eating, denial, etc. Accept what you can't control Easier said than done, but acceptance is a big step toward peace of mind. Also, obsessive consumption of information -grasping for certainty – can worsen things. "Acknowledging that we can't control and change everything is essential," Aldao says. "Wanting to know and control everything fuels uncertainty. Seeking out information is vital, and keeping up with the news is important—but constantly refreshing your news and social media feeds only adds to the anxiety." How to help your spouse Empathize with the situation and your spouse. Don't try to fix things; tell them everything will be OK, or it is not that bad. Let them have their moment. Don't let them wallow too long. Go out and do something together. Have a friend take them out to lunch or something. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We’re Back!!! It has been a while since we have done a podcast, but we are getting back into the swing of things for 2023. It was a busy year! 4 of our kids got engaged in 2022!!! So fortunate to have all these new in-laws join our family. Let's take a look at all the things that happened this year!! January – Darren and Paige went to Palm Springs for a short getaway. Super fun! February – Girls' trip with Ilene and Jill in Sedona and then a quick trip to Utah for Zoey’s birthday before Paige’s surgery! March – Quick trip to So Cal to see my mom, sister, Dallin and Alex while Darren had work meetings. April – Saw Journey and Toto! So fun!! Then off to Idaho for Andie and Jacobs's graduation, we were supposed to head to Brazil, but Darren got COVID. So instead, we stayed home; Paige got Covid too and went to Bodega Bay. Mid-April went to Utah for Julianne’s graduation. June – Portugal, baby!!! And another trip to Utah for Mitchell’s first birthday. July – We had lots of summer visitors, which we love!! August – Took the 3 amigos to San Francisco, Alcatraz and China town. September – Paige had a girls' trip to St George with our daughters. Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. October – 2 weddings!! Anna and Matthew in Atlanta worried about the rain, but it was a beautiful day. Then McKayli and Jake were married here in California. Worried about rain again, but ended up perfect. November – Footloose baby!!!! So fun seeing Sam in the play. Loved all the performances!! Then Thanksgiving week in Europe with Andie and Jacob. Wonderful trip. December – Trip to Utah to watch the grandkids and tortured Boyd when he asked permission to marry Julianne. Then Christmas fun! A busy but wonderful year, minus Paige’s surgery. Looking forward to 2023!! 2 weddings and a family trip!! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★