A Horrible Premise

After a slight hiatus for various reasons, AHP is back with Feature Contestant Jess and some other guy that the host can't remember. He might be named Scott. That's probably not correct. Anyway, Jess and the clown spend this episode pitching powerful DJs, clock museums, and something to do with junkyards, among other things. There's a whole geopolitical thing to it. It's funnier than it sounds. Maybe. TV Shows Designed For This Episode Jess (@legkicktko (http://www.twitter.com/legkicktko)):...

Real life schedules are running tight this week in AHP Land, so I would like to share with everyone the debut of Opposite Attractions, a brand new podcast hosted by AHP host Jim and AHP contestant Scottye wherein they dream up wacky theme park and theme park attraction ideas and share them with you, the listener. We both hope that you like the show and subscribe (Links to the show's website and the iTunes page will be below). Episode 48 of AHP will be up sometime this week or at any rate by...

This week, BOARD GAMES!! Insert airhorn sound here as Jess and Scottye bring the professionalism to contestant's row as they make shows based on titles from random board games Jim found from a list on the internet. Bask in awe of elaborate bake sales, the villainous BoomMan, and...like...three dogs. Featuring an incredibly odd cameo of Owen Wilson from deep within the recesses of Scottye's messed up brain, you can't possibly go wrong by checking this out. Ka-chow! TV Shows Designed For This...

After another accidental week off, AHP returns with two former contestants and one feature contestant! Jess brings the Zing Zang Zoom, Seth continues to bring the slight audio issues (our bad, sorry) and Piper brings the absurd amounts of laughter. Jim just brings the horrible titles and keywords, as is per his usual. Go ahead and make a spare room for Gary Busey, because this........is a horrible premise! TV Shows Designed For This Episode Jess (@legkicktko...

This week it's a venerable whirlwind of puns as Jim welcomes Jess (as usual) and Seth (for, like, the third or fourth time) to contestant's row! There's butts, there's nuts, and there's even 150 pairs of male lovers. Somehow none of those things are related, which we still can't quite explain. Jess pitches too many shows for three rounds, while Seth does his best to keep his spawn in line while we record (you may notice some slight audio hiccups here and there because Skype on a cellphone is...

On this week's episode, feature contestant Jess is joined by new contestant Mike (different from the other Mike and the other other Mike, and probably some other ones we are forgetting) as they pitch everything from weapon sales to supernatural car repair as we travel from rural Miami to Northern Southern Ireland and as usual on this program it all ends with a quick stop in Flavortown. Of course, Flava Flav plays himself. TV Shows Designed In This Episode Jess (@legkicktko...

After an accidental week off, your host decides he wants to play the game too! Oh no! Jess and Scottye return and help guide Jim through pitches full of mystery, sex, snacks, and sex with snacks. It gets lit AF, so check it out! Just remember, only one bean is allowed. TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess(@legkicktko): The Catamaran Mysteries, Snack Attack Scottye(@scottyemo): Meat & Potatoes, Yank The Chain Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart): Sam Handwich Attorney At Law, Danger Baby And...

This week, Jess and Scottye return (and Blake doesn't) for a spiritual sequel to last week's episode. We begin with pies and frogs and move to furries and boobies and finish with the ghost of Rick James, who probably would enjoy at least a few of the previous four things mentioned. This might not be as iconic as the Gathering of the Juggalos, but K.C. Bones wants you to know that the furces will be with you, always, and that's a good thing too because it's time for your annual pogo stick...

In this week's episode, Jess spins a tale of murder and rebellious teen girl bodies, Scotty spins a tale of troll murder and tasty milkshakes, and Blake spins a tale of folded paper and Skip Sheffield, and that's only one premise from each of this week's contestants! Listen in as other aliases of Ryan Reeves also appear, along with Ray Romano, Brad Garrett, and somehow even the McElroy Brothers (note: "appear" means to be mentioned in passing in the middle of a goof) TV Shows Designed In...

It's that time again! Jim counts down his top ten pitches from the last twenty episodes...BUT WAIT! There may be some chicanery afoot. Which pitches made the cut? Listen and find out! Featuring The Talents Of: Jess(@legkicktko) Scottye(@scottyemo) Blake(@blakeatanner) Dave(@fatherdog) Ari(@ari_amaru) Shikaki(Youtube) Dan(@danmacrae) Log(@oldcaptainlog) Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart)

This week is a very pasty heavy episode, as Jess is joined by her #fettucineverse partner in crime John along with returning contestant Seth and newcomer Captain Log, which might be a nickname (not sure). This fantastic quartet talks bacon, basketball, brutal traps, and the 28-Skidoo, which is probably not to be confused with the 23-skidoo. We didn't catch on at the time, which is awkward given the phrase's eytmology. Heiroglyphics are written across the universe, random goons are...

WE ARE A STARZ HOUSEHOLD~! This week, Jess returns from the ether to join new contestant Sorg as they tackle cubes, magnets, bones, puzzles, and yes, Draculas on their way to getting themselves a piece of that sweet, sweet mystery cake. Remember that if Aquaman asks you to wash his blue whale, you do it. We all need practice in being a ridiculous person. And please, for your own safety, stay on your side of the scythe. TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess(@legkicktko): Cube Of...

ERROR: File Jess.exe is missing. Continue [Y] or [N] _Y_ Feature contestant Jess is absent, but after a few swigs of wine we bring returning contestant Piper and new contestants Seth and some dude named Yellow into the game and boy, do things go downhill fast. It all starts with a longwinded Game Of Thrones reference and soon we are off on a whirlwind tour of a town full of clowns, a dialobical tree, a land of spices, and even the very peak of Gordon Ramsey. We didn't even know he was a...

This week, new contestants Piper and Shikaki join Jess on the panel as they visit the majestic land of Idaho, other people's dreams, a world controlled by dogs, the country of South Korea, and end up on some kind of toot toot galaxy train! It's all abooooooard for hilarity and a ton of wine consumption on this episode of A Horrible Premise! TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess (@legkicktko): Potatoheads, Bob Tails/Tales Piper (@fyzzgiggidy): 8 Bit Wonder, Redneck Remix Shikaki...

This week, Jess is joined on the panel by new contestant Moose Bigelow (no, not that one the other one) to pitch everything from lamentable space racism to loads and loads of abdominal muscles to teaching horses how to backflip. Along the way we also learn the meaning of the word MORTAR and that hitchhiker is actually three words, you know, when you think about it a little. TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess(@legkicktko): Brick & MORTAR, Deport This Moose(@moose_bigelow): Baker's...

This week, Jess is joined by a returning Scottye to pitch everything from crazy kicks to heart-stopping dunks and the problems with some pro wrestling match names . Also somehow starring the ghost of Liberace, an older Aaron Carter, the voice of William Daniels, and KISS. We aren't sure about any of that either, quite frankly. The MPAA has rated us "MJ" for being pretty good "ballers". TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess(@legkicktko): Kickin' Things/Thangs, Horse...

This week, Jess is joined by new contestant Dan (a different one from the other one) to tackle some of the tough questions in life. Where does fresh hippo meat taste like? Why is Jenna Elfman such an efficient killer? What makes Diane Lane tick? How good are bears at hockey exactly? Find out the answers on this episode of A Horrible Premise! TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess(@legkicktko): Snowballs, Give Up The Ghost Dan(@danmacrae): Mall Brawl, Twisted Steel & Sex...

Gather up your onions, your Casio keyboards, and your chewing gum because YIKES the mermaids finally have a gun! Luckily Jess and Mike are on hand in this here neck of the sea woods to save us all, and maybe try a little bit of butt poutine while they are at it! Sure it sounds gross, but then the Rock shows up! No, wait, he absolutely doesn't. This show might not be the funniest thing you ever heard, but it just might be a close second. Or it might not even be that! Listen anyway, ya...

WISE FROM YOUR GWAVE! A Horrible Premise returns with Jess tossing away her wacky name crutch and being joined by new, and probably kidnapped, contestant Koitus. Are you a quote unquote Rainbow Warrior? Are you in a gorilla costume? Do you have a bottomless supply of toddlers? Then this episode might just be for you! TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess (@legkicktko): Monkey Business, Taste The Rainbow Koitus (@koitus69): Mountain Drew, Beef Boys And the two of them throwdown with...

This week, a being of pure light energy returns from crime fighting to make dumb tv shows. Just kidding, it's only John, back from his 46 year hiatus to join Jim and Jess as speak openly about the wonders of Richard Dreyfus, Disney Channel vixens, brown M&Ms, and learning to simply stop and smell the sidewalk. TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess (@legkicktko): Ruff Action, Polish Amateur Hour John (@johnjohnphenom): Goldenrod, The Broken Mirror And for the first time ever we pick a...