Adventurific

It seemed so simple at the start. Travel through Hell, avoid the legion of the damned as they attempt to trade a pound of your flesh for a one way trip to Salvation, and infiltrate the Citadel; ground zero for all the pain and suffering that Hell can provide! Who could have guessed it would have turned into a David Lynch nightmare maze? Well, if you paid attention to Josh at all, you probably could have guessed. Welcome to the finale of our Adventurific Halloween 2021 Special, and don't worry my dear demented listener, there are plenty of blood and guts left to spill! Join us as the Hunters dive deep into the bowels of the Citadel in search of the Pit, a magical pool of pure Hell magic, and the only way to stop Nina, the demon who put them in this mess in the first place! And as they travel deeper into the fire, they might find the heat gets too hot for some members to handle... So, decide what your soul is worth and remember to aim for the head, because on this Adventurific Finale, the bang we go out on will rock the afterlife for eons to come.

I know you might be scared after Part One, so I thought I'd open this description with a joke... Things sure are heating up on the Second Part of our 2021 Halloween Special! Get it? On account of all the burning flesh? You're welcome. Welcome to the Second Part of the Adventurific Halloween 2021 Special where things are just beginning to get SPOOKY! Join our Heroes as they attempt to come to grips with their new lives of eternal damnation, oceans of fire, and a city of tortured souls, however, when a familiar face from the past devises a plan to escape this plane of endless suffering, they must gather what remains of their strength and head deep into the metropolis that houses the worst that Hell can produce. It may just seem like a simple walk, but Hell has a way of making simple things a lot more... painful. So open your first portal and serve up your favorite maggot because on the Second Part of the Adventurific Halloween 2021 Special, try to stay in one piece, or at least, bring some extra tape and staples!

Can you feel that, my dear listener? That odd feeling in the air, where the once dead and buried, soon stir in the shallow grave they rest in? Just waiting for the opportunity to drag their disintegrating corpse out of the abyss and bring terror to those still living? Yeah, that’s right boys and ghouls, The Adventurific Podcast has returned! At least for the spooky season… Join us this week as we kick off our 2021 Halloween special with another Monster of the Week adventure ran by the most terrifying, most despicable, most haunting to listen to: Josh! This year, the returning group of Hunters travel deep into the bayous of Louisiana to attend a fancy dinner party at a mysterious hotel no one has ever heard of, hosted by Hell itself! And while that sounds scary enough, just you wait to see what the Legion of the Damned have in store for the after-dinner entertainment! Trust me, no one will be the same after that final dinner bell has rung! So, dress to the nines and remember to ask if the incidentals are free or not, because on Part One of this year’s Halloween Special, it’s all fun and trains until someone gets damned!

There’s an old saying; “The softest voice in the darkness has often got the sharpest sword”. I don’t know who said it but whoever it was, I bet they have quite a lot of experience with homicidal teenagers who been given ultimate knowledge and the most technologically advanced train this side of Niagara Falls! And things only get darker from here on this week’s Adventurific as the Monster Hunters gather up what is left of their strength and face off against Unstable Daughter of the late Doctor Cerf as she literally bends space and time to her whim in order to kill off the last of her opposition and brings humanity to its knees! Will the Hunters be able to stop a threat that has no limits, no boundaries and most importantly, no head to shoot?! See, I knew if you stuck with all of Josh’s shenanigans, this would all pay off! And to those of you who say that most of this still does not make any sense, well, all I can retort with is a desperate “Shut up” and “Please stop” followed promptly by a soft weeping… So, hide away all those deep dark secrets and make sure to keep the afterlife in mind because on this spine tingling, reality bending conclusion to our Spring Special, I don’t care WHAT kind of powers you got, you can’t just fly away from all your problems!

I know what you are thinking at this particular moment in time. “I’m confused and there’s also train robbers now?” First of all, you should have been taking notes, and second, trains are notoriously full of treats and treasures just ripe for the taking! And there isn’t a juicier train around than the Aurora 217! Join us this week as we continue indulging in Josh’s grotesque fantasies with our latest group of Monster Hunters coming to grips with the fact that their simple train ride has turned into a hijacking and one of their brains is suspiciously close to being forcibly removed and fired across the cabin like a Frisbee in a hurricane! And while it may look like their only obstacle are ravenous Husks and a few twisted individuals in animal masks, the secrets travelling with them on this journey may prove to be the bigger threat after all! Yes, listener, there IS a lot going on, but if you stay with me, I promise you will be thoroughly entertained, or severely disappointed in Josh. “This is why Nick should be the DM.” Shut up. So, get your hands up and slowly slide your brains across the floor because on this week’s heart pounding continuation of our Spring Special, you either accept the rules that are laid out in front of you or risk getting microwaved to death!

It’s the season for new beginnings. You know, where all things fresh and pure take over and there is a smell of annual renewal in the air. So why not celebrate the time of starting over by handing the reigns back to the last person on earth that should have them. That’s right kiddos! It’s time for another all original, home grown Josh Campaign! I’ll call the fire department. Join us this week as Josh drags the group kicking and screaming back into Monster of the Week as a new set of Monsters Hunters (and one returning face) are hired to investigate a potentially apocalyptic catastrophe on a mysterious cyber-train heading to the Great White North, the Aurora 217! And while it all seems simple enough, a mysterious girl in their cabin, an overzealous trashcan, and an artificial conductor will soon show the Hunters that there are more things to be worried about then a spilled drink or a missing ticket! Things are going to get weird and when Josh is in charge, you know they are going to get weird in a hurry! So, grab your taxidermy deer head and remember to keep your ears to yourself because on the first part of our 2021 Spring Special, there are a surprising amount of things looking to get into your skull, you best wear a helmet!

So, we've been on a hot streak lately. First and foremost, we killed it on that Honeypot. Second, This whole adventure with saving Jayla and discovering Brightness's secret plans. Get outta town, it's nothing but W's! So why not sit down with us on this week's Adventurific as the fountain of success continues to produce! Gather round as the Company makes some solid choices with the Zemphrim's (Zhentarim's) stolen map, make the clever choice to revisit the Druid Postal Service, and totally knock it out of the park when it comes to the business with Clive Brooks! And why not treat ourselves with a visit to everyone's favorite salesman, Pimm!? You're welcome. So load up your barrel and remember to state your business because on this week's prosperous episode of Adventurific, the only thing standing between here and the future is your own ineptitude!

Have you cats noticed a pattern yet? When the Company is 100% in charge of planning and execution, its a mess and usually someone ends up dead. When Jayla comes ups up with a plan, suddenly Skip is pretending to be her and she’s uncomfortable and Tally’s got her boobs out and everything is all over the place… What was my point again? Whatever… Welcome to this week’s Adventurific! Follow along as the Company dives head first into that sweet, sweet honeypot in an attempt to seduce the mysterious squad of Zephirum (Zhentarim) that has so foolishly fallen into our trap, like flies…to more honey. Also while that is going on, Quint and Bob are pulling a side job that may seem like a fruitless endeavor, at least compared to the one involving Jayla bringing her best game, but may actually prove way more valuable than any of us could have ever dreamed! There’s so much happening, It’s hard to keep up! So, try to keep cool next to all that hay and remember not to be too eager because on this week’s voluptuous episode of Adventurific, it’s hard work being this beautiful, maybe you should try it sometime.

Alright, I’ll be the first to admit, last week got a little bit hectic. Opinions differed and caused a mass failure in communication which in turn allowed our resident Changeling to bleed out on the dirty floor of some up and coming farmland’s only watering hole. That’s why we were told by the bosses upstairs that in the interest of our shareholders and Josh’s ludicrously self-serving contract; it’s either we put someone in charge who can actually herd all these cats or Nick must send in those feet pictures he’s always going on about. It's time once again for a brand new Adventurtific and this week, Jayla FINALLY stops moping and attempts to whip these sorry excuses for soldiers into something that can only vaguely be referred to as a “shape”. Follow along as the Company is split into two equally important teams, one to continue the stake out, keeping an extra close eye out for the squad of Zephirum and the other to clean up all the messes from the previous day. There’s a lot to do there so it’s best not waste anymore of your time and we’ll let you get to the show… Just remember to keep a look out for any overtly tall transients and apologies best start with a admittance of wrongdoing because on this week’s episode of Adventurific, Jayla seems more fed up than she usually does… I’d listen to her if you value your bones.

Picture this, if you will. It’s a peaceful cool morning. The birds are chirping, the flowers is shaking off the dew from the night and on the horizon, you see a large shape. It seems like some sort of vessel, but water is nowhere near here. And it’s a hundred feet in the air. You swallow that last sip of coffee. Your day is about to get a WHOLE lot more interesting. Welcome to this week’s Adventurific where the quaint village of Daggerford attempts to weather a storm called “The Idiots from The Coal Chute Busting into their Once Quiet Town and Raising One Hell of a Stupor”! Join us as the Company breaks new ground in this once peaceful farming community by breaking laws (Skip), breaking social norms (Also Skip), and most importantly, breaking tables by putting Halflings through them (Won’t spoil it, but also Skip) and by the end of this episode, someone is going to need some SERIOUS medical attention… Just guess who. So, grab a fresh flyer and remember to put on your best face because on this week’s tension filled episode of Adventurific, there’s some hands to be thrown, lines to be crossed, and the one left lying in his own blood probably had it coming anyway.

CRITICAL NOTE FOR NOTICE! Josh’s Mic is still pooped, but due to the way we record, it’s the last one. I promise! Please enjoy. On this week’s terror inducing episode of Adventurific, the Company FINALLY puts their info gathering plan into action and learn a pretty important thing or two about what the HELL is going on with this dang old prisoner exchange! Which is fantastic! And Skip dives into a good book. Which is also fantastic! What isn’t fantastic is when your insubordinate crew chooses to ignore DIRECT orders and worst of all, just YEETS your thermos off the ship. That really sours things. So, do some reading about the seagull’s motivation to steal things but please do remember to put the books back where you found it because on this week’s informative episode of Adventurific, exhaustion is only a state of mind!

IMPORTANT NOTE! While we here at Adventurific have the most sophisticated and thorough double checking procedure, we all make mistakes. It appears Josh’s microphone was mysteriously switched off at the beginning of the show, so his audio is going to be a little rough. Thankfully for all of us, he doesn’t have an inside voice. Rest assured that if we had a time machine, or some sort of trans-dimensional communication device, this problem would have been already solved. Welcome to this week’s brand new Adventurific where everything works perfectly. On this week’s show, the Company gather with some newfound allies in the alley behind the Bean Refinery to discuss just how the hell are they suppose to figure out where that dang ol’ prisoner cart was going and maybe more importantly, just who was going to pick the darn thing up! And as the Harpers will quickly discover, when we are in charge of coming up with a plan, there’s going to be nothing but tangents and poorly thought out suggestions. So grab your biggest magnets, and make sure to drink the ENTIRE shrinking potion because on this week’s perfectly recorded episode of Adventurific, when you spend this much time messing around in a vacant lot, its absolutely time well spent!

How about that, folks? We just got back and we are already making waves! Ah, who are we kidding. Spew enough nonsense into a microphone and eventually some plot is about to happen. Take this week’s episode of Adventurific for example. In this episode, the Company head into Waterdeep proper to figure out what to do about the prisoner exchange and the mysterious recipients of said prisoners. Hopefully, it involves less torture, but I’m not here to tell anyone what to do. Also, Skip reaches out to a familiar middleman with the hopes of getting a hand with all the plates he is currently spinning. Should be easy seeing how charming Skip is when he is panicking and I’m sure they DEFINITELY won’t ask for anything insane in return. So, remember to just stop in to say “hi” and just follow the dark hallway all the way ‘til the end because on this brand new episode of Adventurific, the best way to get results is to call in the experts, and they aren’t in the business of doing things for free!

Hold on, lemme just get all this dust of the old Description Writer-a-tron 3500b. There we go, now let’s see if all this time off made its vastly underappreciated talent any more noticeable… Welcome back everyone to a BRAND NEW season of Adventurific where the laughs are cheap and the moral compass is more of suggestion than anything else. Join us this week as the Company attempts to make sense of all the betrayal and turn of events that has everyone on board the Soggy Clam reeling! Well mostly Jayla, but that’s understood, seeing how EVERYTHING SHE BELIEVED IN MOST HAS TURNED ON HER! And now, to make matters worse; Connie, Fil, and Quint are about to have a word with the prisoner and I’ve got a feeling that they may take it a little too far. Don’t worry, Phil’s a doctor, so it’ll only hurt for a minute… So put down a fresh mat and remember to bring plenty of seltzer water for the stains because on the Season Four Premiere of Adventurific, we are rolling up our sleeves and going full medieval!

It all started at that bar. A group of strangers came together from faraway lands, hoping for a fresh start, answers to questions, and a getaway from past mistakes. They banned together to build something great and in turn what they found lying just beneath the surface was something much greater than they could’ve ever dreamed. They found hope; hope that they could become more than what the world expected them to be. They found family, with each person making up a collective team that was unstoppable. They found that Norm, despite his constant put downs, really does care for his wife. And who could forget Woody, sweet naïve Woody. Yes, the gang over at Cheers really became something special. Meanwhile, over on Adventurific, this group of jackasses just opened up a can of worms so big that there’s no way anything will ever be the same again! Join us on the season finale of Adventurific as the Company continues to go toe to toe with the Aegis Initiative in order to save Jayla from a corrupt official they once trusted! It’s not going to be easy, so good thing no one is just winging it! So grab the largest can of wasp repellent you got on you and remember not to give away too much information because on the Season Finale of Adventurific, we're giving it all we got and we aren’t going down without a fight!

Can you feel the tension? There are SO many things that could go wrong right now, that at any moment, everything could fall apart and the gig is up… And just like that, Skip is dead. I mean, someone might mourn him, but let’s be real, the loss of Jayla would probably hit WAY harder. Join us this week on Adventurific as the Company continues to walk the razor’s edge as their plan to break Jayla out of a prisoner caravan on its way to Waterdeep trudges on with Skip becoming a social outcast, Quint making big moves, and Tally going all out with those dope druid abilities! I know that is really vague, but if I spoiled it here, you’d REALLY be missing out! So, grab some alone time and stay low in the grass because on this week’s episode of Adventurific, everyone has a plan until the arctic fox shows up!

There’s a phrase that is sometimes thrown around… “Out of one’s depth” And never in all my years, have I seen a phrase encompass an entire episode as well as it does for this week’s episode of Adventurific. I mean, there are battle hardened bandits that don’t have the stones to ATTEMPT what the Company is trying to pull off! Sneak into the keep disguised as one of their own? Yeah, right. Find your friend AND blend into the trained guards? Get out of town. Stalk the secret caravan with the TOTALLY inconspicuous flying ship? Absolutely NOT! There’s no WAY this is going to work… Well, it might, but you are just going to have to listen to see what happens… So keep your ears open for the secret bird call and don’t forget to keep an eye out for sneaky Changelings because on this week’s episode of Adventurific, you might find comfort in knowing that Skip is the ONLY one in any REAL danger…

Okay, so we got a plan. Sort of. And that plan requires A LOT of trust, the breaking of said trust and getting our hands dirty with the wrong sort of people. But hey, that is what happens when you put Baby in the corner. Join us on this week’s Adventurific as the Baby (that’s us) has a sit down with one Clive Brooks (he’s the wrong sort of people) to get some intel on Brightness’s nefarious deeds and make a deal that for surely won’t put Skip into any sort of precarious position down the line. Then it is about time to put all the chips we got left on the table and come up with some sort of plan to save Jayla. Yeah, it’s one of those episodes… So, come up with some badass nickname for yourself, and don’t forget to hand over ALL your weapons because on this week’s episode of Adventurific, the difference between “ingenious” and “insanity” all comes down to the preparations!

Alright, we’ve said it before, but now we REALLY mean it! No more lies, lying or general fibbing! We are sick of all the cloak and/or daggering that’s been happening around Fireshire, and it’s about time we cut through all the nonsense, clear off the tables, and get some honest to God, real, and truthful answers! That’s right, on this week on Adventurific, we’re confronting Brightness! Join us this week as the Company comes to some serious conclusions about the head of the Aegis Initiative and decides to go to the source to clear up any misconceptions about who’s side she is really on! I’m sure it will lead to a meaningful discussion and won’t make ANYTHING worse. Also, Skip does something stupid, but he follows it up with an exposé that is actually pretty important to the future goals of the group! Way to go, Skip! So locate your favorite bottle of Halfling wine and drop and give me twenty because on this week’s post Halloween episode of Adventurific; secrets, secrets hurt someone; secrets, secrets are no fun!

The pumpkins may be wilting, and that masked creature has returned to its resting place at the bottom of Blood Lake, but Adventurific has one last scare in store with part two of our Halloween 2020 adventure! Come along this week as the monster hunters continue to explore the mysterious theme park known as Sunset Valley and where they once were tasked with simply unraveling the mysteries behind this strange and deadly amusement park, they are now just trying to get out alive! Will they successfully conquer the many horrors that wait around every corner or will their lifeless corpses soon join the ones that make up the foundation of the park? You will have to listen to find out…that is to say… if you are BRAVE enough! So gather what courage you have left and pick the next ride on the map, because on this week’s Adventurific Halloween 2020 finale, you might want to stop the ride to get off, but that might attract something MUCH worse!