The Upchuck Theater Podcast

Welcome back folks - After a too long hiatus, here's some good old movie nonsense - no nostalgia here except for wistfully wishing we had the roughly 3 hours of our lives back dealing with this. In Ma, instead of making something genuinely interesting, horrifying, or statement based, we get 30 old vendettas and some...questionable painting skills. Sigh. We did this episode remotely, and yes Dustin does his best Chris Klein impression due to sound on Zoom. Hope the reruns have kept you entertained while we've been away. Here's to many more episodes. As always please like, subscribe, and SHARE!

Dustin and Aaron on a road trip edition

Hi All, Dustin here. Apologies for lack of content updates, but it has been a busy year not allowing the Upchuck team to be united often. We will get everyone caught up with Season 2 and the Annual Chuckies soon and back on track with Season 3 shortly as well. Anyway in the meantime, myself (and my lovely fiancée, Christy) teamed up with our friends from the Our Kind of Bad Podcast, Dom and Sara to bring you the 1998 Kaiju/Schlockbuster Kraa! The Sea Monster. I admit to owning this disaster and call back to Aaron's hatred of that fact. Young Alison Lohman in a Star Trek ripoff uniform. Italian accented clam/turtle/alien. Heavily reverbed Skeletor-like villain....What could go wrong? Listen as we try to decipher a nonsensical plot and even develop some of our own fan theories. As always, PLEASE subscribe through the various channels, and leave us some feedback - Find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Facebook. Twitter, Tumblr, and of course our home here on Podbean. PLEASE like, review, subscribe, follow, etc. Also do the same thing for our friends over at Our Kind of Bad! Find them on iTunes, Facebook and Instagram. Let us know what should be our next movie to review with them in crossover. Rob will appreciate the schlock, Aaron won't undoubtedly!

Please. Travolta. Scientology. Garbage.

Every time Jay Zippo comes on the show, he one ups himself with horrible choices. In this episode we tackle our first documentary, Love and Saucers, about a guy who claims he's had encounters (mostly sexual) with aliens for over 50 years. Along the way he gets milked, has children, and works at a deli one shift per week. This episode features an incredible amount of apathy by Aaron, space pontification by Rob, Dustin is... Dustin, and Jimmy is giddy. Part standard Upchuck fare, part science experiment, we hope you enjoy this edition to our collection, sporadic as we've been of late. There's a brief mockumentary accompanying this episode courtesy of Beruud - view here to hear about our own sexy times with aliens - Sax and Crayons Jimmy is a great friend and contributor to our show - please give him a listen and a follow. We also plug his newest endeavor Midnight Hollow during the episode. Give that a listen as as well. As always please like, share, subscribe, and talk to us. No one talks to us.

Aaron rambles on about a ton of content he's consumed of late after a frustrating day and evening. Taylor Sheridan films, actors you can't stand but acknowledge a good performance from, and a lot more Jake Gyllenhaal than he likes to admit.

**This pod opens with a promo from our good friends The Subject Tonight - give them a follow and a listen! A rambling, all over the place episode with just Rob and Aaron - we discuss Blade Runner 2049 - a movie we were both fearful of. Being huge fans of the original, we both felt a sequel unnecessary so much so in fact that the movie was not watched in the movie theater. But we both loved it. A beautiful and expecptional film by Denis Villeneuve (Sicario, Prisoners) with Ryan Gosling and Harrison Ford. We are watching the original in the background as we discuss a wide range of things pertaining to both films. We address the supposed controversy of the treatment of females (great nominee for Rob justification moment with a very interesting twist), and we dive into some of our ideas of a 'flawless' movie. Dustin didn't like it. SO he wasn't invited.

This episode sees the guys dealing with home grown hero Vincent Gallo and the truly awful Keifer Sutherland helmed vehicle Truth or Consequences N.M. A completely inept film, it's hard for the gang to remain interested. Taking up entirely too much time is Aaron evoking the spirit of Gallo reading from the very same's website and his offering of himself to be someone's not dad... well just listen. This is a real stinker, and we're not even that fond of our own episode. Listen for a plug for our new friends the M.A.U.L. Podcast and give em' a follow on Twitter. As always, please subscribe, share, follow, and review! Thanks for listening!

We're bacccck!! Happy New Year. We've got a bunch of episodes that will hopefully be coming fast and furious and this is the start. Kris Kristofferson helms this awful, should have been Lifetime Movie, Millennium. This is definitely one of the worst movies we've watched yet, the ineptitude in all categories, the bad look, Kris Kristofferson, Dustin's admittance of sweater vests, Kris Kristofferson, and more. Rob makes a claim that Alien is not a Sci-fi film. Thoughts? Kris Kristofferson is awful in this trash. DISCLAIMER - We typically ramble and wax idiotic in every episode. But in this one we seriously have no idea what we're talking about. No really. We are all over the place in this one. But Dustin only needed one **content** edit in this one., so whatever/ As always, PLEASE subscribe through the various channels, and leave us some feedback - Find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Facebook. Twitter, Tumblr, and of course our home here on Podbean. PLEASE like, review, subscribe, follow, etc. Give us some requests, thoughts, feedback, ideas for films, etc. Thank you so much for your support! Best, The Upchuckers

In this episode, our poorly drawn farce is forced to watch an ever poorer drawn farce. Microwave Massacare is truly an awful movie, probably the most inanely made film we've watched in our time doing this. With a poor imitation of Rodney Dangerfield at the helm, even strange looking breasts and cannibalism can't save this nonsense. We debated even airing this episode because we were afraid that our energy was so low it might drag everything down, the pod surprisingly stays pretty active. No really. Aaron listens to all of them and edits (sort of) and he was quite surprised that this one doesn't actually suck. The above possibly written by Aaron. Advertised as 'The Worst Horror Movie of All Time' ... well... thanks for listening. Please like, share and subscribe. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Tune-in and many other places.

Episode 18 takes to the awful world of Vibrations - An absolute piece of trash starring James Marshall and Christina Applegate, about a handless doofus who becomes an electronica superstar... right. This one is horrible, and you probably haven't heard of it. With good reason. If you like this episode give us a uh... HAND. A lot of hands. I don't really feel like typing much more. I said I wouldn't like this, but if you're so inclined, give this goofball a read on uproxx Thanks as always for listening. Please pass us on!

In this episode, (around June 1st) Aaron and Dustin recap their not so epic trip to the Big Easy, New Orleans. From cheap sandwiches to ball soup style heat to rain, rain, and more rain to...well. They recap their trip and all the different things that were done, eaten, and more. For Captain George's swamp tour: Happiness Bayou Tours

It's been a long long time. Way too long. Deepest apologies to everyone that enjoys what we do here. It's been a very trying, busy, and difficult few months for everyone involved. From good things like going on vacations and new vehicels to bad things like tons of money and frustration and people with no driving license ruining our vehicles precepiating us needing new vehicles -- anyways. We have our 2nd guest on this episode, Jay Zippo, all around good dude, Fallout 4 modder, Let's Play extraordinaire and someone who actually listens to our show. And James brings us the utter should've been smothered after birth of a movie Red Sonya with Bridgette Neilsen in her screen debut, a horrible end to Arnold's Barbarian film line, and a needlessly murdered Icthyin Kiling Machine. It plays like an awful reskin of Indiana Jones and has no redeeming qualites... except of course for Dustin. As always thanks for listening, please like, share, subscribe, and comment through Facebook, iTunes, Twitter, and more. Get in touch with Jay Zippo - @Beruud / YouTube for the clips of Worf that Jay mentions where Picard just shuts him down over and over - Mr. Worf

*******SPOLIERS*******In this off the cuff but feature length episode, Aaron and Rob recount their awful experience at the theater this past weekend seeing Alien: Covenant. They remember what makes the Alien franchise special (that is not in this movie) and so they break down the nonsense plot and the banality of the story. Michael Fassbender puts in another fine performance in a dual role, but his scenes oddly enough are the most drab and boring sequences. The mythos and evolution of the Xenomorph is an affront to Dan O'Bannon and everything he created. Utter trash. Have you seen Covenant? What are your thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Let us know! WE TELL THE WHOLE PLOT IN THIS EPISODE SO ***SPOILERS***

Greetings Upchuckers! This was posted a little bit late, but in this unofficial episode, Dustin, Aaron & Rob all take a stab at an IMDb Challenge that asked the following questions. Here is the link that will show those questions. Unsurprisingly Aaron is disgusted with a majority of Dustin's choices and corrects his favorite movie's release year for him. Although favorite films seem to dominate this list, in typical Upchuck Fashion there are some films that are brought up that even all of the Upchuck crew refuse to watch again (or may watch again in a future episode for your entertainment). This one runs a bit long, but will provide a fun glimpse into what we would choose (or not choose if the case may be) to spend our time watching. Feel free to send us how you'd rate our choices, or better yet send us your choices! As always thank you for listening. PLEASE subscribe, like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, rate, and review. iTunes definitely gives the most juice so please be kind... and say something nice!

So this is our Saint Patrick's Day episode...released on Mother's Day. In May. Almost 2 months to the day later. First and foremost, thank you to all the loving mother's out there. You have more than just a tough job. Without you, there is no life. Or terrible movies. Secondly, your support is and has always been great. But if you haven't yet, would you consider giving us a review and a follow if you've liked anything about what goes on here? You can do that in the following places: Facebook // Twitter // iTunes // Podbean // Stitcher // tunein // and more. Just Google The Upchuck Theater and you'll find us! This is the greatest compliment you can give us, and the thing that will help us out the most! In this episode, Dustin's all tuna pouch diet goes off the rails, Rob gets lost in between every McDonalds in a 10 mile radius, Aaron is absent for the whole thing and an Irish guy takes his place who has no idea about what they call things over in Ireland (truck? lorry?). We review The SiFi original film Red Clover with Billy Zane and William Devane, and Unclucky Charms, starring giant breasts. Check out the shining gem of both films Masuimi Max here.

In this episode, we watch one of our most divisive episodes yet - the 2002 horro show that is Rollerball. A remake of a 1975 gritty James Caan classic, the new Rollerball is stupid, poorly done, and a Rob favorite. Appealing to Rob's love of bad schlock, we also see Dustin (in possibly his most annoying turn yet) always willing to be leinent, and Aaron in his usual utter disgust. Rollerball was a flop, and sent its direct John McTiernan to jail. This is the same guy that directed Predator and Die Hard. Then he did this garbage with Chris Klein. Yecccccck. For a better movie with Rebecca Romin, try Femme Fatale. For a movie that Chris Klein doesn't abort, try Election with Matthew Broderick and Reese Witherspoon. Yeck. Yeck. Yeck.

See the initial lists here Aaron talks about his epic failure in a 10 v 10 film list on twitter. Paul Mackie orchestrated an epic showdown between 2 people at a time... and boy does Aaron get murdered. Everyone involved thought that it would be closer but Jordan runs away with it. What's funny about the whole sitaution is how close they really are in some ways, but Jordan loves the sequels and Aaron likes the original films. There may or may not be a mini Dark Knight rant somehwere in here, albeit fairly calm. Yecccck. Follow Paul and all his Twitter antics here Thanks as always for listening. And please engage with us through Facebook, Twitter, Podbean, and more!

Special guest star: Drunken Rob In this episode, the guys tackle an absolutely attrocious ball of nonsense that drives Rob to drink. The Andrew McCarthy / Kim Cattrall helmed Mannequin. Though we possess undying love for Kim Cattrall, it's not even close to enough to save this from the trash heap. McCarthy stumbles through as he usually does in everything, looking awkward and playing a bizarre goofball who... falls in love with a mannequin. Watch the terrible music video for Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now HERE To watch an APPROPRIATE reaction to this movie, click HERE (at your own risk) The group may or may not sing the song somewhere towards the end of the pod. As always thank you for listening. We've broken through the 1000 download barrier, and it's all because you are listening! PLEASE subscribe, like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, rate, and review. iTunes definitely gives the most juice so please be kind... and say something nice!

In this episode, with the release several months back of Final Fantasy XV, we tackle the first ever Final Fantasy animated feature The Spirits Within. This one...is really terrible. Listening back through it for quality purposes, it's actually one of the better discussions about the actual film instead of being jerks, and we really get into the flaws of it and what went wrong. This one hits home hard particularly for Rob, given his intense passion for the Final Fantasy series. It's still funny though. To read the article by Jake Young we mention in the podcast go here: Dorkly.com For the most informational article ever on Wikipedia, the most trustworthy site of all time: Wikipedia Article Here Also apparently we have a train. Rob keeps claming we have a train. That doesn't come out in this episode, but yeah. Please like, share, subscribe, and give us some feedback. Thanks as always!